Chapter 9 #2
He stares at the condensation on the cup, scraping some away with his index finger. Just when I’m about to change the subject he says, “My dad liked hockey.”
Fuck. The dad who is not in the picture. “Yeah?”
Sam nods. “I guess he probably still does. He left when I was eight.”
I have no idea what to say to the smart, funny kid in front of me. My dad was not only there for me growing up, he was super involved in my life. I can’t imagine what my childhood would have been like without him. It’s no wonder Sam is slow to trust.
I clear my throat. “I’m sorry, Sam. That’s…” Awful. Unfair. Heartbreaking.
“Shitty?” He looks at me expectantly, like he wants confirmation that the situation called for the use of the word.
“Really shitty,” I nod. I’m about to ask him if he wants to talk about it when I catch a glimpse of red hair in my peripheral vision. A shade of red I’d know anywhere.
Maddy is leaving a fancy soap store. She’s got several bags slung over her arms as she walks in our direction.
How does she do that? Knock the wind out of me just by appearing? Just by existing?
She seems lost in thought, her expression distant as if she’s mentally sorting through a checklist. A slight crease forms between her brows, and I wonder what’s occupying her mind.
Has she been thinking about me as much as I’ve been thinking about her?
I watch as she drifts forward, nearly colliding with a woman hurrying out of a store. At the last second, Maddy steps aside. She flashes an apologetic smile even though the near-miss wasn’t her fault. The other woman barely acknowledges her before rushing past, but Maddy doesn’t seem to mind.
“Who’s that?” Sam has noticed that I’m staring slack-jawed at her.
"My ex-girlfriend," I admit, my gaze still fixed on her.
“No shit?”
“Sam,” I warn. The kid is about to lose his swearing privileges.
“Okay, okay. I’m just surprised. She’s pretty.”
Calling Maddy “pretty” is like calling the universe “big.” Still Sam seems to be inferring that he’s surprised someone that looks like her would date me. “Okay, ouch.”
He laughs. A real laugh right from his belly. “I’m just saying.” He raises his hands in a “don’t shoot the messenger” gesture.
“I’ll have you know, I do just fine, thank you.”
Sam just laughs harder. “Not that fine.”
Punk.
I’m not sure if it's the laughter that makes her look our way, but look our way she does. She hesitates for the briefest moment as she looks between Sam and me. When I give her a little wave she makes her way over to where we’re sitting.
“Alright, Sam. Be cool.”
He looks panicked, as though I’ve just asked for an unachievable feat. “How?”
“Just pretend you like me.”
His shoulders relax a fraction of an inch. “I’ll try.”
“Hey,” Maddy says, stopping at the edge of the table. Her voice is steady, but a bit higher than usual. Like she’s still not sure how to act around me.
I guess confessing you’re still in love with someone after a decade apart can make things weird. Who knew?
“Hey,” I reply, my throat dry despite having sucked back almost an entire slushy.
“Hi! I’m Sam.”
Maddy smiles warmly at Sam, unable to hide her curiosity. “Hi, Sam. I’m Maddy.”
“I know.” He’s being a bit too enthusiastic. “I’m Ben’s Little Buddy. Like, we’re friends, sort of. He didn’t kidnap me or anything.” He gives me a look that says, “How was that?” and I subtly flash him a thumbs up while mouthing, “Nailed it.”
“I’m relieved to hear that,” she laughs as she transfers all the bags she’s carrying into one hand and pushes her hair out of her face with the other.
“Getting some shopping done?”
She looks down at her many purchases. “This is my third time here this week. I’m still getting settled in the new place and there always seems to be something we need.”
I ignore the twinge of jealousy I feel at her use of the word “we.” “How is work going?”
“Busy, but good. You got the invitation for the meeting with the Fellowship committee?”
“I sure did.”
She’s giving off major anxious energy as she rocks back and forth on her heels. “All the key players will be there, including my boss, Chanda.” It’s clear she wants to make a good impression.
“Don’t worry about me. I’m ready to dazzle the hell out of them with my good looks and winning personality.”
Maddy’s eyes drop to my mouth, making my dick twitch. Her lips quirk at the edges and I get the distinct impression she’s trying not to laugh at me.
“What?” I ask, frowning.
“Nothing,” she says, too quickly.
“Madness,” I press.
Her shoulders shake, and she bites down on her full bottom lip, trying to keep it together. “It’s just,” she points at my face, her cheeks pink with delight. “Your mouth. It’s blue.”
“What?” I look at Sam for confirmation.
“So blue.” He grins.
“Soooo blue,” Maddy covers her own mouth in an attempt to stifle her giggles.
Maybe I should be embarrassed or annoyed, but given that both of them are enjoying themselves so much, I really can’t bring myself to care. Even if it is at my expense.
“And?” I lean back in my chair casually. “I look amazing in blue.”
Maddy manages to regain her composure. “I’m sorry. You looked so serious, and then—” She shakes her head, smiling softly. “The Fellowship committee is going to love you.”
For a second, the noise around us fades, and it’s just her standing there, bags in hand, looking edible in her snug sweater dress and leggings.
“I should get going,” she says, stepping back. “It was really nice meeting you, Sam.”
“Same,” he says, holding out his fist to her. She grins and bumps his hand with her own.
“I’ll see you next week,” I tell her, only mildly bummed that she got a fist bump from my little buddy before I did.
“See you next week.”
My eyes stay locked on her as she walks away, every step pulling her farther from me.
I wait, hoping she’ll glance back, but she doesn’t.
Not a flicker of hesitation, not a single backward glance.
When she disappears from around the corner I’m left sitting here, feeling like she’s already forgotten me.
“So,” Sam says when she’s out of sight. “You’re still in love with her?”
“Yup.” Why deny it? He’s already proven he’s smarter than I am several times.
“Are you going to try to get back together with her?”
“Nope.” I sigh, resting my forearms on the table.
“How come?”
“She’s marrying someone else.”
Sam winces with what feels like real sympathy. “That’s shitty.”
I nod. “Real shitty.”