Chapter 8 Yvonne
Yvonne
I’ve never considered myself boring before, but literally three minutes into me telling Toni about growing up in Connecticut I heard a sound that sounded suspiciously like snoring coming from the bunk below.
“Lindstrom?” I called softly. “Toni?”
Another snore greeted me, causing me to smile. We hadn’t even been here twenty-four hours, and already new roommate was growing on me. It was the crankiness that did it. She’d been so cute pouting about that overcooked broccoli like a sullen toddler.
Plus her crankiness seemed real, unlike the cheery smile she usually hid behind.
I needed to be careful though. I knew instinctively that getting too close to Toni would be dangerous.
She was too bright. Too happy. Someone like that wasn’t going to be around someone like me.
And even if she did, I needed to be cautious about letting my guard down.
Trusting people was dangerous. After all, the people who I was supposed to trust the most, my parents, had let me down again and again.
I’d learned long ago to keep my emotions tamped down and my opinions to myself. It was safer that way. That was my last thought before I fell asleep.
Toni was up early, and back to her cheerful self. She must have heard me waking up, because as soon as I rolled over in this torture device they called a bed her head popped up over the side of my bunk like the world’s most cheerful meerkat.
“You’re awake, great. Good morning! I’m starving! Do you wanna go get breakfast?”
I groaned, rolling onto my back and throwing my forearm over my eyes. “Jeez, give a girl a minute to wake up, huh?”
“Sorry,” she said, although she didn’t sound at all sorry. “I’ve always been a morning person.”
“What time is it?” I asked.
“Seven thirty. We have ninety minutes before practice, just enough time to grab breakfast.”
When I groaned again she added, “And coffee. I’ve heard the Italians make a very nice espresso.”
That got my attention. I climbed out of my bunk and followed Toni to the restroom. We both washed our faces and brushed our teeth, and Toni arranged her hair into two neat braids, one on each side of her head. She looked like one of those old Swiss Miss Cocoa ads. It was adorable.
After we cleaned up we headed outside to make our way to the cafeteria, shivering in the early morning chill.
“I didn’t realize it would be so cold here,” Toni said. “But then again, it’s probably as cold as Seattle is in February. And it’s colder up in Vancouver, right?”
I made a non-committal noise and she laughed. “No talking before coffee. Got it.”
We walked the rest of the way in silence. The cafeteria wasn’t super crowded so we quickly got yogurt, fruit, and most importantly, coffee then headed to an empty table by the window. I wasn’t sure how we’d fallen into hanging out with each other, but I found I didn’t mind it.
“I really wanted some of those eggs and bacon,” Toni said after we sat down. “But that’ll sit in my gut like a bomb all the way through practice.”
I nodded. “Yeah, I try to eat light before practice too.”
“I feel bad about falling asleep on you last night,” she said.
“It’s not a problem,” I said. “My life isn’t that interesting.”
“Being the daughter of the great Sergey Volkov wasn’t interesting? I find that hard to believe.”
I felt a pinch in my belly, a hot mix of resentment, sadness, and embarrassment.
“Let’s just say that my dear Papa’s personality in public is very different than his private self.”
Our eyes met and held for a long moment.
I didn’t say it out loud, but somehow I had the idea that she read the truth in my eyes: that my publicly charming father was a tyrant in private.
An abusive asshole with a hair trigger temper.
A man who punished any sign of weakness.
A man I’d cut ties with after I finished college and no longer needed his money, even though our paths crossed from time to time.
“My father was a hockey player too,” she finally said.
“Mom was a figure skater. They were both on the Swedish team for the International Games and met at the Opening Ceremonies. They fell in love, but they decided to focus on their careers, so they parted ways. Five years later they ran into each other at a restaurant, realized that their feelings never went away, and they’ve been inseparable ever since.
They’re disgustingly happy, setting the bar way too high for me and my brother to ever find love. ”
She paused to take a sip of her coffee.
“I always kind of wanted to though,” she said almost wistfully.
“I don’t believe in love,” I said, my voice sounding wooden even to my own ears.
“I wouldn’t either if I hadn’t seen it in real life and seen what it could be like. My parents are poster children for true love, despite all their differences. But I know that’s pretty rare.”
It felt like an acknowledgement of everything I hadn’t said, but maybe I was just making that up, twisting her words to what I wanted to hear.
Unbidden, an image of my father appeared in my mind, warning me not to trust anyone, especially rivals.
“Trust only your teammates,” he’d say in Russian.
He only spoke Russian to me and my mother at home.
“And even them, only trust so far. There’s not a guy in the league that won’t hook you or check you against the boards if they think they can get away with it. You have to look out for number one Ivana, always.”
I hated the Russian version of my name. I’d legally changed it as soon as I turned eighteen, although for some reason I’d kept my surname. Most days I wished I’d changed that too.
“Are you okay? You look… I don’t know, nauseous or something.”
Toni was watching me carefully, her astute eyes seeing way more than I wanted her to. The acidic feeling in my belly intensified.
“Yes I’m fine,” I said icily. “I have to get to practice.”
If she was thrown off by the change in my mood, she didn’t show it.
“Yeah I know, we’re both going to the same practice,” she reminded me. “But we still have some time.”
“I’ve got to do something first,” I lied. “Alone.”
“What?”
I couldn’t think of an acceptable lie, I only knew I needed to get away from her inquisitiveness. I needed a few minutes alone to reinforce the walls I kept around myself. So I said the first thing that popped into my mind.
“I have to poop.”