9. Theo #3
I walk away from Libby’s lover’s home with an odd sense of dread swirling in my stomach.
I got her out of there, and I didn’t get arrested.
But her page and mine are so far apart, it’s almost an impossible chasm.
I need her to catch up to me, but I’m expecting her to do it without giving her all of the pages in the middle.
In her mind, I’m a brand-new man, one she met just days ago, and traditionally, when a man and woman meet, they ask about their lives, their favorite foods and colors, they ask about career choices and family plans.
But I already know her. I know her favorite candy, and I know she’s a cop.
I know she wishes she was taller, and I know her family is as good as dead.
I’m skipping the getting-to-know-you stage, and trying to pull her in like it’s normal to comply with everything a stranger demands.
I need to be gentler. I’m not sure I know how.
It takes half an hour to drive home, and I left far too long after she did to be able to follow her lights, so I drive in the dark and let Beethoven settle my nerves.
Libby listens to hard rock when she’s working out.
I listen to classical composers. She’s loud and demands attention and respect.
I’m silent, and I steal the things I need.
Olly is positioned outside Libby’s apartment on my orders, and about fifteen minutes into my drive, he beeps my phone to confirm she made it home.
In the dark of my car, lit only by my dash lights and stereo, I reply “Thanks,” then reach across the seats and grab my sweater and run my fingertips along the worn-away zipper.
I ran the risk of being found out tonight by bringing this sweater.
What if, by some miracle, she decided my demands were reasonable and she came with me?
How would I explain to her once she climbed into my car how I came upon that sweater?
And if I got past that landmine – Sure, Lib.
Not only did I break into your fuck buddy’s home, but I’ve been in yours too…
twice – but then I run the risk of connecting what she thinks she knows about my eyes, and the sweater.
It’s already sitting there in her subconscious. She already knows, she just hasn’t figured it out yet.
Placing me and the sweater in the same space may be the catalyst for her tipping point, and telling her that I’m that boy might do me favors in the short-term, it might get me leniency that Theo Griffin cannot hope for.
Fuck knows, she might fall into my arms and weep for the boy she thought she lost. But in the long run, Gunner needs to stay dead.
He’s gone, and nothing good will come of bringing him back.
I pull into town a little after nine, then I pull up behind Olly’s car and switch the ignition off. I don’t intend to stay long, but I need to see that she’s home. I need to make sure my family is safe.
It takes only seconds for my eyes to focus on the dim light coming from between Lib’s blinds – she’s watching TV in bed – and another minute after that for my phone to ring and Olly’s name to flash on the screen.
I pick it up and swipe to answer. “Yeah?”
“It went well?”
I chuckle. “I didn’t get arrested. Well, not officially, anyway. I wasn’t booked.”
“Success,” he laughs. “You want me here all night?”
“No. You’re off now. I’m leaving too, I just wanted to check in. I’m going to give her space, but we’ll keep watch.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Go to bed, I’m following.”
He hangs up and pulls away from the curb in silence.
I turn to Lib’s window and watch for a minute more.
I don’t know what I expected to find when I came looking for her – perhaps I was expecting her to still be that little girl.
Something to protect, someone to shield.
In twenty-two years, I guess I never expected her to actually grow up.
But instead of a child, I’ve discovered a woman.
A beautiful, dangerous, demanding, and brave woman.
Instead of someone to protect, I’ve found someone to lust for.
Instead of finding a girl I might cradle in the safety of my arms, I’ve found a woman I’d like in my arms for an entirely different reason.
I came here hoping and praying she wasn’t dirty, but if she was, I was willing to eliminate her.
And now I’m looking to bring her into my world in a way I’ve allowed no one else in… ever.
Shaking my head, I indicate to pull out, then I head back to my hotel and pack up for the night.
In forty-eight hours, I’ve snuck into Libby’s home twice, I’ve seen her at the gym once, I’ve stared into her eyes a dozen times, I’ve held her in my arms once – the fact she was kicking and screaming shouldn’t count – and I’ve offered my body instead of her visiting Drake.
I’ve laid my cards out in the only way I know how, and now I’ve pissed her off so much that she’s bound to shoot me at some point. But she knows I’m here, she knows I’m interested. No one could ever accuse me of subtlety.
But now I have work to do. She’s not dirty, so I’ll leave her be, and while she’s taking time to breathe, I’ll visit the next on my list.
I have some research to do, then it’s time to visit the rest of the family.