Chapter 33
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
ATTICUS
I’m gazing at Yorick, who’s still fast asleep in my bed. His bare arm and side are showing as I wonder if he’ll wake up if I cover him. It’s not like he’d get cold; he’s a vampire, after all. But he does like to be covered up…
Gently, I pull the blankets up to his shoulder and his eyes fly open, making me immediately regret my decision. But the instant his eyes meet mine, his entire face softens as a smile blooms across it.
“Hey,” he says as he dives into my arms, pulling away from the covers I’d painstakingly deliberated over.
“Hey,” I murmur.
He closes his eyes again, and I question whether I’m now going to be stuck sitting like this with nothing to do while a vampire who I cannot wake slumbers on half of my body.
“I love you so much,” he says.
“I love you too.”
“So much.”
“Me too.”
“Just… can’t get enough of you.”
“Me too.”
Yorick laughs then and bites my shoulder playfully. “You can’t ‘me too’ everything!”
“I sure can.”
His eyes catch mine as his lower half joins the top half in clinging to me. “Are you doing okay?”
I open my mouth to say that I’m fine, but he pins me with a look.
“Give it some thought and answer me truthfully. Are you doing okay?”
“I… truly don’t know how I’m doing. I’m just… confused… is that the right word? Maybe. It doesn’t feel real. It doesn’t feel… fuck if I know.”
“Yeah. I know,” he says. “You don’t need to decide how you feel right now.”
“But I also know that I’m happy,” I admit. “I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.”
That makes his smile widen and makes that happiness rise inside me. My finger reaches out and brushes over his cheek as he smiles so easily at me. It’s like… in his eyes, I’m the greatest thing, and I don’t even know how or why.
“You’re too good for me,” I mumble.
“Nah, I’m just right for you.”
I kiss the top of his head. “I know you really like being near your friends, so I bought you a house near them.”
Yorick’s eyebrows knit together. “I… already have a house near them.”
“No, you have a shack near them. I bought you a house near them.”
“Like… right now? When? How? Why? Wait… are you going to live in it with me? Because if you’re not going to—”
“If you want me to.”
He relaxes and squeezes me tighter. “We could have lived in the shack together.”
“No. It’s unfit for you,” I decide.
“Am… Am I the one it’s unfit for?” he mutters.
“I had Johnny looking for a habitable home earlier in the week, and I put in an offer on it yesterday before we dealt with Niles.”
“Weird how you could have been like, ‘Yorick, do you need a bigger house?’ and I would have been like, ‘Nah, that little house is fine—’”
“Where would Johnny fit in that tiny house? In your closet?”
“He already seems to pop out of it!” Yorick says.
“No. You will like this house.”
“Okay, but let me tell you something. I will like anywhere as long as you’re with me,” he says.
I don’t know how to respond to that and have to keep myself from smiling like a fool over such a ridiculous thing.
“You can smile. I can see you’re wanting to,” he teases as he pokes my cheeks.
“I refuse to smile.”
“Oh? Is that a challenge?”
“It’s not a challenge.”
Yorick grabs my side and beams at me like the world couldn’t get any better than this moment… and maybe it can’t. Maybe everything is perfect because of him.
“See? I told you I could get you to smile. What a sucker. All I had to do was stare at you.”
I snort and quickly wipe the smile off my face. “You’re not that good.”
“Oh, I’m definitely that good.”
“Let’s take a shower, we have things to do,” I say.
“Like?” he asks, sounding uncertain. “We could have sex again.”
How tempting…
“No, things to do first,” I insist as I get out of bed and haul him out after me.
Yorick groans about it but willingly gets in the shower.
He slumps against me, acting like he needs to be pampered the entire time, and doesn’t even complain when my fingers get caught in a knot in his hair.
I dry him off and he heads naked toward the bedroom.
And when I follow him out, I notice something sitting on my dresser that wasn’t there before.
Slowly, I walk over to it and pick up the small glass vial. I lift it up and watch while the liquid inside tips. Then I whip around and look at Yorick. “What is this?”
“A present.”
“From who?”
“Me.”
I stare at the vial before my eyes flick up to his again. “Yeah?”
“Just because you have it doesn’t mean you ever need to use it. And maybe you won’t ever use it… but… it’s there… just in case.”
Poison to kill Morpheus… just in case.
He has to know that I could chase Morpheus down with this in my possession. Isn’t he afraid I’ll do just that?
Yorick’s not smiling now; instead, he’s watching me closely. He knows what I’m thinking. And I know how heartbroken he’d be if I ran off to kill Morpheus. Even with this, I might die. But right now… Morpheus has promised to stay out of our lives.
And this vial is here “just in case.”
I wrap my hand around it. “I’ll put it somewhere safe… just in case.”
Relief seems to wash through him, and the tightness in his shoulders relaxes as he looks up at me. “Okay. Good. Yes. Thank you.”
“Why are you thanking me when you gave it to me?”
“I was afraid to give it to you,” he admits. “I was afraid you’d take it and run off tonight.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I say. He nods as he watches me place the vial in a drawer. “Where did you get it?”
“Off Niles’s body when I got the key for Johnny. We’ll need to keep it somewhere safe where no one can find it.”
“I will. I’ll have it put in a safe.”
“Okay.”
I grab some of my clothes and head over to where he’s sitting naked on the edge of the bed. I start putting my clothes on him while he looks at me, confused.
“I don’t own clothes?”
“You look best in these,” I say as I finish by tugging a shirt over his head before pulling my own clothes on. There’s a knock on the door, and I hurry over to it before slipping out to talk to Johnny.
“Here you are,” he says, stuffing an extremely cute and fluffy puppy in my hands.
I look down at the adorable mutt. “I said to get something ugly,” I growl.
“I did. It’s hideous, sir,” Johnny says with a smirk.
The thick fluff on its tail is whipping back and forth as it wags it while trying to lick my hand. I can barely even feel the small dog beneath the fluffy black-and-white fur.
The door behind me flies open and Yorick lets out a ridiculous noise of delight. The puppy starts going wild in my hands while it tries to get to him.
“What is this?” Yorick asks.
“It’s nothing. Johnny is taking it back and looking for something ugly.”
“Can’t get uglier than that, sir.”
“Evidently, you need glasses,” I mutter.
“It’s so precious. Why do you want an ugly one?” Yorick asks.
Before I can open my mouth, Johnny says, “Because you said you wanted a cute dog to draw people’s attention, and Atticus gets jealous easily.”
“Johnny, I will make you regret every word coming out of your mouth,” I snap.
“That sounds horrible, sir,” Johnny says before fucking off.
“Fine. Here. Take it. Pretend it’s hideous,” I grumble.
“This is mine?” Yorick asks, already giving it all these heart eyes which should be reserved for me. This whole thing was stupid. Now he’s going to just stare at the dog all day.
Yorick rushes forward and grabs me in a hug. “Thank you so much. This makes me so happy. Now I won’t feel alone even when you’re out of the house. Ha… I think I might be a bit ridiculous… Thank you so much.”
I just grumble something under my breath, unsure how to actually respond to any of that.
“Are you blushing?” Yorick asks.
“I don’t blush.”
“You’re definitely blushing,” he says as he kisses my cheek. “Huh, mini puppers, your daddy is so happy he’s blushing.”
“I’m miserable,” I declare, which makes Yorick laugh and push the puppy in my face where it play bites me instead of licking me.
This just makes Yorick laugh harder. He’s so delighted by the thing.
“I’m glad you like the puppy,” I say.
“I really do. I like everything you give me. You giving me a single moment of your time all those years ago is the only reason I’m able to be happy today.”
“Me too.”
My “me too” makes him shake his head. “We’ll work on sharing feelings. You’ll get there.”
“Not likely.”
“Nah, you will. But even if you don’t, I can read you.”
“Sure, sure,” I say, kissing his cheek as he buries his face in the puppy’s fur.
But I know he can. I know I don’t have to say anything for him to know how much he means to me and how much he’s meant to me for all these years.
I had vowed to stay away from people; I’d planned to never stay in one place to always keep Morpheus looking for me…
but I threw it all away for him. It’s hard for me to find words, after never being allowed to give them, but he seems to be able to tell from my actions.
I grip him tighter and he responds with another kiss before telling me, “You make me unbelievably happy.”
I feel the words “me too” on my lips again, so I tuck my head against his neck. “Yeah? You’re the only happiness in my life that’s followed me for all these years. I’m glad I can finally have that happiness.”
“Me too,” he says, making me laugh.
My mind drifts over to the poison that could end my nightmare for good.
But it could also result in me ripping this happiness away from Yorick and myself.
Part of me still yearns for vengeance, but as long as Morpheus keeps his distance as promised, it’s not worth risking the man I love.
So I will cherish every single moment of our happiness.
And I will lock that poison away… “just in case.”