Chapter 29
Him and his big fucking mouth.
If he’d just kept his mouth shut and the way that he felt about her to himself, at least for a little while longer, they wouldn’t be sitting here rehashing all of this bullshit.
This wasn’t how he wanted her to find out.
Actually, he’d never planned on telling her, but he knew the moment that he’d walked into that bathroom to face her that the choice was no longer his to make.
Now she knew what a pathetic asshole he really was.
“What does LRJ stand for?” she asked softly as she knelt down on the floor in front of him.
“Little Rory James,” Connor admitted with a sad smile, knowing that he’d truly gone and fucked up his one chance with her.
“May I?” Rory asked, gesturing with her broken hand to his chest. With a small nod, he leaned back and wasn’t too surprised when she traced her fingertips over the initials that he’d had tattooed all those years ago when he’d had a little bit too much beer and not enough common sense not to tattoo the name of a woman who hated him on his body.
He’d been young and foolish, and now, he just felt old and stupid.
“The suites are yours, Rory,” Connor said when he couldn’t think of anything else to say.
“I know,” she said softly as she continued to trace the letters with her fingertips, looking mesmerized by the tattoo.
“The deal’s off, too,” he needlessly explained, licking his lips and trying not to moan when her fingers teasingly traced his nipple.
“Yes, it is,” Rory said, running her fingertips to the other side of his chest while he sat there, trying to remain unaffected, but it was nearly impossible with Rory touching him.
“What were you hoping to get out of this deal?” Rory asked, slowing her movements as she looked up and met his gaze.
“It doesn’t matter,” he said truthfully because none of it mattered without her, not Strawberry Manor, his business, nothing.
It might have taken him a while to figure it out, but he knew that the only thing that mattered to him was Rory.
Her touches gave him hope that they might have a future, but he wasn’t a fool.
He’d pissed her off and she’d be justified in toying with him.
“Not going to tell me?” Rory asked, cocking a brow in question as she moved closer, resting her broken arm across his leg as her other hand slid up his chest and over his shoulder.
“It doesn’t matter any longer because I don’t want it,” Connor confessed, unable to stop himself from reaching up with one hand and cupping her beautiful face.
“Then, what do you want?” she asked, moving closer until their lips were only a few inches apart.
“You,” he simply said.
“Why?” she asked, looking a little confused.
“Because I’m in love with you, Rory,” Connor answered, wondering if she was going to try and kick his ass for saying it again.
“You love me,” she said, not asked as she leaned back, robbing him of her touch, but he let her go.
What other choice did he have? He knew Rory well enough to know that if he pushed her for something that she didn’t want that she’d push right back.
For the first time since he met her, he was terrified of pushing her.
“Yes.”
“I’m not sure how I feel about you, Connor,” Rory admitted as she stood up and stepped away from him.
“Do you hate me?” he asked, gripping his knees as he struggled to stay where he was and not do something foolish like beg her for a chance, a chance that he probably didn’t deserve but wanted desperately.
“No,” she answered, walking away from him and heading for the patio. “I need some time to figure this all out, Connor.”
“Take as much time as you need. I’ll be here when you’re ready,” Connor said, knowing as soon as the words left his mouth that he’d just lost her for good.
Oh, fuck that.
Time.
She needed time to think through everything, Rory reminded herself as she fought the urge to run back inside and throw herself in Connor’s arms. A couple of hours ago, she knew where she stood with him.
It didn’t matter that she’d been falling for him because she’d known that she would never be able to get over what he did.
Now...
Now she didn’t know what to think about him.
For the first time since Connor came into her life, Rory didn’t think that she hated him, not even a little bit.
Actually, she was terrified that she wasn’t just falling for him anymore but was more than a little in love with the man.
Before she did anything that she might regret later, she needed to be sure that what she felt was real.
She should kick his ass for confusing her, Rory thought as she opened the sliding glass door and stepped into her room. Why couldn’t she just hate him? It made everything so much simpler to-
“Veto,” Connor said as he scooped her up in his arms, carried her out of the house and placed her bottom on the patio railing before she could put up much of a protest. He settled himself between her legs just as quickly, placing his hands on her hips to steady her and, hopefully, stop her from falling over the side.
She’d never been afraid of heights before, but after falling into that cellar and breaking her arm, she could now say that she had a very healthy respect for heights.
“Veto what?” Rory asked absently, reaching up with her good hand and placing it on his bicep to help steady herself as she fought against the urge to look down.
“Space, time, a break, whatever the hell you want to call it, Rory. It’s not happening. I’ve waited too many years to have you in my arms and I’m not about to let you go over some bullshit.”
“Wait a minute,” Rory said, frowning up at him as his words registered. “You can’t veto a break!”
“Yes, I can,” Connor said, leaning in and brushing his lips over hers in that soft, fleeting gesture that she both loved and hated. Loved because it made her feel precious and hated because those kisses always left her wanting more, a lot more.
“Since when?” she demanded, resisting the urge to hit him with her cast when he pulled his mouth away.
“Since now, Rory. You’re not allowed to run away because you’re too afraid to face what’s going on between us.”
“I’m not afraid of anything,” Rory said evenly, using the same response that she’d used when they were kids and he tried to taunt her into doing something asinine, kind of like now.
Taking a chance, a real chance, on him was a huge risk not only because they could wind up killing each other, but if things didn’t work out between them, which was a real possibility given their history, she could wind up hating him for breaking her heart.
This was a really bad idea, Rory berated herself inwardly as she looked into his beautiful emerald eyes and worried her bottom lip between her teeth.
She should just push him away and end things right now before she got in over her head, but really, when had she ever done the smart thing when it came to Connor?
“I don’t think this is such a good idea,” Rory said, needing to at least pretend to show good judgment and think it over, but unfortunately, common sense and good judgment were usually never around when it came to Connor. At least this time, she wouldn’t have to worry about ending up in jail.
“I think it’s a great idea,” Connor said, pressing a kiss against her forehead before he leaned back and focused all of his attention on her broken hand.
When he carefully picked up her hand and pressed something onto her ring finger, she couldn’t help but frown as she looked down, but between his head and the lack of decent light, she couldn’t see much.
“Um, what the hell are you doing?” Rory asked when she felt him slide something onto her finger.
“Nothing much. Just decided that you and I are getting married, that’s all,” Connor announced with a careless shrug as he turned his head and pressed a swift kiss against her stunned lips.
“I’m sorry, what’s this now?” Rory demanded, sure that she’d misheard him.
“I’m thinking of a November wedding. It will give you plenty of time to plan it and get used to the idea,” he explained as if it wasn’t a big deal when it was a very big freaking deal.
“I can’t marry you, Connor,” she blurted out, not really knowing what else to say and wishing that she’d said it with a little more finesse. Then again, she should have known that Connor wouldn’t take it personally.
“Yes, you can. All you have to do is show up, sign the license, and say ‘I do’” he mused as he leaned in to steal another kiss.
“No, I can’t,” she said stubbornly, leaning back away from him, but it wasn’t all that far considering that he had her sitting on a narrow banister.
“I tell you what, Rory,” Connor said, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close until she had no other choice but to put her hands on his shoulders to help support herself and when she did, her breath caught in her throat as her eyes landed on that tiny diamond decorating her finger.
It was so beautiful.
“You give me until November to prove that we belong together and if you still don’t want to marry me by the time the manor is done, then we’ll call it off.”
“Oh?” Rory asked distractedly as she grudgingly accepted the fact that she never wanted to take the ring off her finger. “And how exactly do you plan on convincing me to marry you?”
“I plan on making you fall in love with me, Rory,” Connor said softly as he leaned in and kissed her in a way that wasn’t fair.
“Wear the ring and if you don’t fall in love with me by November, then we can call the whole thing off and I’ll never bother you again,” he swore against her lips.
After more than two decades of being tormented by this man, the idea of never seeing him again should make her happy, but it didn’t. She honestly didn’t know how she would function without him in her life. But she wasn’t sure if she was ready to promise him forever.
Everything in her world had changed in such a short period of time that she didn’t know if she was coming or going. The smart thing would be to put some space between them and ignore his veto, but she didn’t want to do that.
“You really think that you can make me fall in love with you in less than five months?” she asked, trying not to smile and failing miserably when she felt his lips kick up into that grin that she loved.
“I know that I can,” Connor promised as he stepped away from her only to scoop her up in his arms, turn around and head for her bedroom, but he didn’t get far.
“It’s been more than ten minutes,” Trevor announced as he leaned back against the doorframe, startling Connor, but thankfully he didn’t drop her, and she truly appreciated that.
“And we’re hungry!” Jason yelled from what sounded like her bathroom.
“Who the hell are you?” Connor demanded as he stood his ground, holding her tightly in his arms as he glared at her cousin as if the man didn’t have several inches and fifty pounds of muscle on him.
Trevor’s curious expression turned amused when his eyes zeroed in on her left hand. “Oh, by the looks of it, I would say one of your future in-laws.”