Chemistry: The Chemist

Chapter 3

What am I doing?

I should be calling this in.

I should be taking him in.

I hunt men like him for a living.

I am bound, by law, to report behavior as such.

So, why is it my walls that I want him inside of instead of a cell?

He killed a man for Christ’s sake.

Frustration budded, filling me with anxiousness. I wanted Chem far, very far inside of me to make me forget I had a duty to protect. I’d gone to school, worked my butt off, and graduated top of the academy. Yet, I was sitting in the passenger seat of a criminal who’d indirectly confessed to murdering a man an hour ago and threatening to end the life of another if the balance of my rent wasn’t restored.

Egypt. Please.I groaned inwardly, trying to ignore the pulsating of my center. It was agonizing.

“This way,” he demanded, his fingers wrapping around my arm as he guided me out of the car.

His touch set my body ablaze, cremating all the thoughts that sent me into a state of confusion. We made it up a set of stairs and into more warmth as I felt him hovering. Just as I moved to lift the blindfold, I was presented with another gift.

“Here.”

Thorny stems picked my fingers.

“Ow!”

Finally, I was able to see. He’d taken the blindfold off. The dead roses in my hand hadn”t been what I was expecting. Baffled, I stared at the beautiful mess, still soft to the touch but visibly dying.

“Chem?”

“I bought them earlier. Apparently, the trunk is no place for pretty things,” he explained without remorse for the lifelessness in my hands.

Take the company’s card off file,I reminded myself. Though it was deemed untraceable, it might not be the case with him.

“I’ll do better next time, Eden.”

He took me by the hand, leading me deeper into the house. I should’ve run in the other direction, but naturally, I wanted to go wherever he was taking me. It didn’t matter how far. It didn’t matter how unforgiving. I was in too deep, already. There was no turning back now.

We entered the master suite. I remembered it clearly. I’d gripped the sheets, hit the headboard, and been stretched out across the entire mattress.

I’ve missed you, I admitted, admiring its massiveness.

The small, dark brown blanket that was on top of it, folded neatly, startled me. My heart dropped as my brows furrowed. Swallowing, I asked the question I was fearful of the answer to.

“Uh, Chem, do you have a child?”

Slowly, he turned toward me, eyes delicate. “Are you expecting?”

Recalling the emergency contraceptive I’d swallowed shortly after spending time with him, I shook my head. “No.”

Besides, it had only been a week since we’d been intimate. That wasn’t enough time to detect a pregnancy if it was the case. For us, it wasn’t.

“Then, no, Eden. I don’t have a child.”

He snatched the blanket from the bed and freed me of his hold. He disappeared into the closet and was back in the middle of the floor with me almost immediately. I was unable to react before my hands were free, my dress was on the floor, my panties were ripped, and my body was pressed against the sheets.

Chem’s palms aligned with mine, above my head where he’d pulled my hands. As if I was the most precious thing on this earth, he glared down at me. His breath, I could feel it on my bare skin. I was a mess between the legs. He was driving me wild, slowly and deliberately.

“I missed you.” I breathed out, sealing my lids to avoid the disappointment.

Needing to know he’d missed me too would kill the moment. Needing validation of my relevancy in his world would butcher my feelings.

He slid into me gracefully. The fabric of his pants rubbed against my bottom as he did so was evidence of his urgency. He longed to be inside of me. Once he was, he released a breath so relieving, that I felt the weight lifted from my world as well.

“I’ve missed you more,” he confessed through a barely audible whisper in my ear.

There was resistance in his words. Regret. Reservations. Resignation.

He’s undoing,I quickly noted. He’s unraveling right before me.

His state wasn’t taken for granted. Neither was it subject to judgment. It was welcomed. Embraced with my own truth.

Without urgency, he slid in and out of me. Though he was silent, he filled me with the validation I’d been seeking. Always sought. I was confirmed. I was validated. I was assured even when it didn’t seem like it, I wasn’t alone.

Just as he’d promised, he was there. And somehow, I felt as though I’d never be alone again. Not as long as he was part of my world.

Morning had come. Morning had gone.

The afternoon had come. The afternoon had gone.

I stretched my limbs at exactly five-twelve in the evening. The sun was beginning to settle, casting an orange glow across the bedroom. The windows were too high to see out of, but they told stories my eyes couldn’t, still satisfying my soul.

My feet touched the cold marbled floor as I rolled out of the massive bed. A yawn nearly ripped my face apart. It felt like I had been asleep for a month.

In his presence, I easily lost track of time. It didn’t exist. Though it should’ve been troubling, it was comforting. On bare feet, I began combing the room for the man himself. The couch on the other side of it was my first stop.

Not here.

The shower was next. He wasn’t there, either. I used the opportunity to relieve myself. As I sat on the toilet, I waited for him to burst through the door at any second. Waiting was in vain. By the time I’d washed my hands and dried them, he was still missing.

Without a cloth covering an inch of skin, I made my way into the hallway. I checked nearly every room before realizing he wasn’t upstairs. I took the stairs to the first floor where movement seemed nonexistent. I pushed forward, regardless, determined to locate Chem. Not only was I missing the rhythm of his heartbeat, but I had one between my legs that only he could regulate.

“Sheesh!”

Startled, I placed my hand over my heart, completely forgetting I was nude.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. You must be Eden?” a woman dressed in a crispy uniform with her hair in a neat bun asked.

“Yes.” Nodding, I tried catching my breath. Suddenly, I felt parched.

“I’m Jennie.”

“Do yo-you know where Chem is?”

“Yes. I’ll go get him. You just stay righ?—”

“No. No. It’s fine. I will. Please, where is he?”

Though she tried to keep her eyes on mine, she couldn’t help their wandering nature.

“Swimming. The pool. Down the main hallway. Right. Follow the scent of water from there.”

“Thank you.”

Swiftly, I marched down the hallway, following the path as instructed until the scent of water led me the rest of the way. Drawn to it, just as I was drawn to him, I ended up at the door of the large, unusually lengthy pool area. Quietly, I crept inside, watching as Chem’s dark skin swam toward the other side.

Amazed by his speed, I stopped at the edge of the pool, waiting for him to take a breath, lift his head, or stop. He did neither, instead, heading back toward the end where I was standing, still holding his breath. I watched him lap the pool, effortlessly, never coming up to refill his lungs. Not until the fourth lap. And when he finally reached for the concrete, there I was.

Water rushed from his skin in a hurry to get back to the surface. He glistened. His hair rested on his head and face, weighed by the heaviness of the liquid. He felt so far away. Too far away, in fact.

I slid into the pool, realizing its depth while praying I didn’t make a fool of myself. Though I could swim, I wasn’t as rehearsed as Chem and I wasn’t, at all, equipped for depths like the one I was in.

My nipples hardened against his chest. Those perfect teeth slowly appeared behind slightly stretched lips. The excitement on his face was overshadowed by the capacity of his expression being met, but it registered, regardless.

“Hi.”

I stared into those dark orbs, searching for the light I knew was buried in there somewhere. I was hoping it led me to his soul. It was crying for companionship.

I could hear it when he slept. Hear it when he spoke. Feel it when he looked at me as if I was his only hope. I didn’t want to let him down, couldn’t let him down.

“Good evening, Eden.”

His voice was addictive. My obsession with him grew each time he shared his words.

Comfortably, we held each other’s stare. Involuntarily, my body clung to him. My arms sat on his shoulders, hands gathering behind his head. And when I couldn’t bear the allure any longer, I pushed forward, placing my lips on his.

“Ed– Don’t do that shit, again,” he fussed.

“Mmmmmmm.” I paid him no mind.

He clamped down on my bottom lip. I could feel the blood as it began to seep into my mouth.

Aroused by his violent sexual tendencies, I deepened our kiss. My legs wrapped around his waist. I could feel his arousal searching for my entrance.

And when it broke way, I gasped in despair. There was absolutely no reason on God’s green earth for him to be so good. Feel so good. Fuck so good.

“Cheeeeeeeeem.” I moaned against his lips.

They lowered, sucking my right breast into his mouth. From below, he unclogged my thoughts, relieved my stressors, and wrote his name a hundred times. I tightened my grip around his neck, bringing our lips together again.

“Chem.”

I was splintering. He touched parts of me only he had. That only he could. He was unfathomable. He was unreal.

“Give me a son, Eden.”

His request sent me spiraling into another universe. Deep in his stratosphere, I searched for answers, signs this man wasn’t for me. But, I found none. And though children were not on my radar, I’d give him one, gladly. Maybe not now, but eventually.

One day.

When his heart wasn’t so cold. When his words weren’t so hurtful. When his absence wasn’t so depriving. When my career wasn’t so demanding.

“I need a son, Eden.” Almost as if he was begging, he repeated himself.

“Okaaaaaay.” I purred against him as my orgasm subsided.

I was willing to agree to anything Chem said while he was inside of me. That’s when my vulnerability peaked. I had no control over the things I said or did. I was putty.

Chem stiffened, signaling his end. His head lowered until it reached my chest. There, it hung with support. I wised up almost instantly, knowing he’d meant every word he’d said.

“Promise me you’ll let me in and I’ll give you whatever your heart desires.”

I had demands of my own. I wanted to know more, see more, hear more… be more.

He never lifted his head as the words slammed into my chest, right where he rested.

“Whatever you want, Eden.”

Minutes after Chem’s response, I was still no less in a state of shock than I had been when it left his mouth. To hear him speak again, as he removed himself from my center, threw me for a loop.

“Do you know how to swim?”

“Ya– yes. Somewhat. Well, enough to save myself.”

“Not enough to save me if you needed to?”

I’d find a way. Cut off someone else’s arms if I needed to make sure mine didn’t get too tired.My thoughts scared me.

“I’d find a way,” I admitted, leaving the rest hidden.

“There’s a way, Eden. It doesn’t need to be found.”

“I know.”

“I’ll teach you to swim better. It’s important.”

“To who? Because I have no reason t–”

“To me.”

That settled it. That was all that mattered.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” He sucked his teeth. “That simple.”

“Yes.”

He carried me, bridal-style, out of the pool.

“Is it dick that cures your defiance?”

“If answering yes will encourage you to give me more of it, then yes.”

“Haven’t you had enough, yet?”

“For now, yes. But, another week withou–”

“I apologize. I was unaware my absence had such a tremendous effect on you. I can’t promise every day, but it will never be a week. Not if I can help it. Understand?”

Nodding, I allowed his words to linger instead of muddling the moment with mine. They were unnecessary. I wanted to use the energy I’d need to speak to believe him. My sanity depended on it.

Through his home, dripping wet, he carried me until we reached the shower. There was a shower in the pool area, but I assumed he wasn’t interested. In his larger one, he removed his trunks and grabbed two bath cloths.

He’s a caretaker.I noted another quality of his.

Chem wasn’t the mess he claimed to be. He had ways, but we all did. There was something special at the very core of his existence, telling me he knew how to take care of a woman and provide her with a blissful life. Telling me he knew how to love. He knew how to trust.

As our time together continued, it was becoming very clear. I was anxious for more of him. More of that. Whatever it was.

“You must make your mother proud.” I smiled, watching as he scrubbed the towel together to get the suds going. From the fruity aroma, I knew he wasn’t preparing to cleanse his body. He was preparing to cleanse mine.

“Maybe one day I’ll get to ask her. Around the fire pits of hell. I’m sure she’ll be there when I make it.”

I wish I’d found the same humor his smile exposed, but I didn’t.

“Chem.”

“Yes, Eden?”

“Is your mother al–”

“Turn around, baby. If we’re going to talk, it won’t be about my mother.”

I gave him full access to my back. Gently, he scrubbed it with the towel.

“There are clothes waiting for you. You’ll find them in the dressing room right next to mine. Dinner will be served at seven. Please don’t be tardy, Choc.”

“Dinner?”

“Yes. Aren’t you hungry, yet?”

“Starving.” I breathed. For more about you. Your family. Your life. Your world. Your background. Your pain. You wear it right on your shoulders.

“Good, then. That’s settled. Seven.”

“Seven.”

“This man.”

Blushing, I ambled toward the black silk slip-dress on the bed. Black, strappy Gianvito Rossi slingbacks were on the floor in front of it. Another blue box was split in half, exposing the bangle inside. The receipt was missing, but a quick snap from my camera led me to the listing.

“Twenty-seven thousand dollars?” I whispered, hand over my mouth. “For a bangle? God, that’s an entire car.”

“Not the kind we drive, Choc.”

I spun around to find Chem behind me. I hadn’t heard him enter the room, but I should’ve smelled him. He was divine. Natural scent and added fragrance. Both were mesmerizing.

“Get out ya head and put that shit on.”

He vanished, leaving my mouth wide open and the heartbeat between my legs irrational again.

I need to know more.

But why?I fought with myself, attempting not to let my inquisitiveness cheat me out of a good time.

Deciding against sulking or overthinking, I began preparing myself for the night. The dress, shoes, and jewelry weren’t the only things waiting for me in the dressing room. So was a vanity, Dior makeup, a full brush set, and a note. The scribbles on the white paper were evidence Chem had written it.

Time is lost upon me when you’re near. The sun has awakened me for thirty-six years straight. Since I laid eyes on you, it’s been your face. Visions of you. The sight of you. The thought of you. I’m an imperfect man, so far from the person society tells women of your caliber to trust, to allow in your world, but fuck that. Fuck all of that. Fuck the world. Cause I’m fucking you, Eden. And since I’ve begun, nothing has made sense in my world. Everything is perplexing. I’m writing to let you know I won’t always have the words. It’s not often I do. But, I’ll show you, every chance I get, that you’re more than just a frame. More than just a face. More than just a thrill. You’re something I look forward to, just like the rising of the sun.

I crashed the paper into my chest, crumbling it slightly.

He’s troubled. Tears burned my bottom lash line.

He means well. I choked as the thought surfaced.

He’s hurting.

Tears grew thicker. I swiped them away before they had the chance to fall. I placed the note on the table, knowing it had taken great courage to write, and sprinted out of the room.

I rushed down the hall, finding Chem standing in the master suite. My presence confused him. He didn’t have time to deny me before my arms were around his body and my head was on his chest.

“Choc?”

Though he was confused, I felt him embrace me, hesitantly.

“For the things you don’t talk about, I’m sorry. For the things troubling you, I’m sorry. For the things that keep you up at night, I’m sorry. For the things that have hurt you, Chem, I’m sorry.”

He pulled away, unwilling to accept apologies that weren’t mine to give. Soundlessly, with a rising and falling chest, he stared at me, baffled.

A tilted head led me to believe my words had hit their target. Satisfied, I left him in the middle of the floor, hoping I’d soothed at least a few of his aches.

I swiped a fresh set of tears from my cheeks, speeding toward the dressing room where I shut the door behind me and released a heart-shattering sigh. It left me breathless and unsure of what was happening between me and the man in the next room.

Breathe, Egypt, I coached.

He doesn’t even know my name, I argued. He deserves that much, at least.

I inhaled.

I can– I can’t blow my cover.

Though I was after an entirely different group of people, sharing confidential information with Chem was not an option. He was, undoubtedly, a criminal and I was an agent. I had no business here. Our worlds weren’t supposed to mesh, under any circumstances.

I couldn’t dwell on the future or let it ruin the plans Chem had for us. I put my thoughts on the back burner and sat down in front of the vanity mirror. My hair had seen better days. My body, however, hadn’t. Chem was unbeatable.

I busied myself with the many purchases Chem had made. Either Jennie had good taste or he had another woman in his life who had expensive taste. I wasn’t complaining. They’d done a phenomenal job.

Lightly, I applied a full face of makeup. The layers were so thin it was hard to see the enhancements once I’d finished.

“Perfect.”

I checked the time on the clock on the wall. There were only twenty minutes left to spare. I used them to slip the dress on. Panties were not included, so I didn’t bother searching for them in the bags lining the room. Without a doubt, I knew the contents inside of each one belonged to me.

When my once-over was complete, I had four minutes left. I exited the room, feeling like I was the only woman on God’s green earth who had been assigned to Chem. Somehow, I felt as though he was specifically designed for me as well. We were tailored for one another.

I descended the steps, expecting to round the corner, enter the dining area, and find Chem. I didn’t make it that far. Black legs that went on forever and greeted me just as I rounded the staircase. My body tingled, watching from afar as Mister took me in.

Stopping mid-way, because I was certain the sight of him would cause me to lose my balance, I did the same. He was incredible. From his head to his toe.

His mother and father had made art. Fine, vintage art that was timeless and meant to be enjoyed and not captured to be locked in a frame on a lone wall.

“Eden.”

“Chem.”

“You are un-fucking-real, baby. Wondrous. Captivating.”

“Have you been captivated, yet?”

“I have.” He chuckled, nodding, simultaneously.

I’d never get over that smile. It wasn’t often exposed, making it monumental. Time stopped every time I witnessed that glorious part of history.

“Good, then. I’m not alone.”

“Not at all.”

“You’r–I don’t know that words are good enough to describe what you are, Chem.”

“The feeling is mutual.”

Silently, we shared appreciative gazes, and then, suddenly, he stepped aside. On a table I didn’t recall being there earlier, he revealed a large box of roses. They were plentiful.

“These”—he cleared his throat—“They don’t die, Choc.”

I melted, instantly recalling the ones he’d killed accidentally.

“Chem!”

Finding my footing, I rushed toward him. Just as I approached, I noticed something quite unusual. Quite out of character for him.

“Mister,” I sang, cupping his cheeks.

“What?” He smiled, unable to hide it this time.

“Are yo–Are you blushing?”

“Hm?”

He brushed his hands over his waves, one after the other, stepping back so I wasn’t so close. I stepped forward, not letting him off the hook.

“You are!”

His smile reached his eyes for a split second. The darkness lightened. The longing in them wasn”t overlooked, either.

I’m right here,I thought, pressing a palm against the side of his face.

“Chem, it’s okay. You understand that, right?”

A shake of the head confirmed his reservations.

“Someone broke your heart?” I asked, driven by the fear that was apparent.

He was traumatized. Life hadn’t been the only thing to make him this way. Someone had helped.

“I told you I’d do better next time.” He stepped aside, nodding toward the roses.

His words stole another piece of my heart. He was deflecting, but his sentiments were heard loud and clear.

“Who broke your heart, Chem?”

“My mother,” he spat, the light in his eyes vanishing as the darkness returned. The Chem I was growing fond of quickly retreated, replacing himself with the colder, relentless version. “Dinner is ready, Eden.”

His body stiffened underneath my touch. I hung onto his words as I followed him into the room where a table was set for one. As I sat in front of the plated steak and glass of water, I came to the conclusion I’d be the only one eating. However, I still needed to ask. Concern wouldn’t let me keep quiet.

“Are you not hungry?”

“Food won’t satisfy my craving. What I’m in the mood for is between your legs.”

“Che–”

“I pulled you away from dinner last night and fed you food I wouldn’t even feed a dog. I owe you a steak.”

The brutally honest Chem was present. Instead of giving him a few words to chew on until dinner was finished, I decided to fill my belly. Hunger was ready to announce itself at any minute.

A few feet away, at the other end of the table, Chem sat with his eyes trained on me and a glass of brown liquid against his lips every few seconds. I squirmed under his scrutiny, wondering just how badly he was tearing me apart with those orbs.

My weight shifted every few seconds. My hands were unsteady. Cutting into the tender steak became a much more difficult task than it ever had been.

“Uh um.” I cleared my throat, feeling the room grow smaller.

The temperature increased, simultaneously. I crossed my legs underneath the table. My posture slacked slowly, but I straightened my back the second I realized it was crooked.

Please. I begged him. My entire body was unsettled. I couldn’t keep still.

“You’re staring.”

“I’m aware,” he responded without remorse.

God, he’s a fucking dream.There wasn’t a part of him that was imperfect. He was fine. Unbelievably so. And his energy, whichever he was giving at the moment, made him so much finer.

“Chem.”

“If my actions haven’t made it clear, Eden, you don’t get to choose another nigga. I’ve chosen you.”

Lifted brows and piqued curiosity led me to drop my utensils.

“They don’t belong there,” he informed me, nodding toward the napkins on both sides of the plates.

I laid the knife and fork in their rightful places and focused on the man across the table.

“Have you?”

“I have.”

“Do you know what that consists of, Chem? Choosing someone?”

“I don’t. Not from experience, at least.”

“I didn’t think so.”

“I’m learning day by day.”

“You’ve never been in love.”

I wasn’t surprised. You had to be a special kind of woman to deal with a man like Chem. There weren’t many of us in the world with the capacity to do so. Fortunately for us both, I did.

“No.”

“I wasn’t asking. I was voicing m–”

“That means nothing, Eden.”

“For you. For me, it means several things.”

“Your food will get cold. You should eat.”

I picked up my utensils and continued chopping away at the flavorful steak.

“There are better ways to ask a woman to be yours.”

“I wasn’t asking.”

I gulped water from the glass in front of me before clearing my throat. It was thickening to the point of discomfort.

“For what it’s worth, I’ve chosen you, too.”

Chem sipped the brown liquid in his cup. Soundlessly, he displayed his satisfaction with softened eyes and a nod.