Chapter 10
Dark faces surrounded me, all standing as I took my seat along with a woman who was in possession of the type of soft skin other women dreamed of. I didn’t have to touch it. The texture was visible from every side of the table.
Anna. Chemistry had introduced us seconds prior. She was as gorgeous as her name and just as elegant. The strappy top she wore with a skirt to match was the perfect combination. It said a hell of a lot without saying very much. Her slim frame seemed glued to her husband’s hip. Their happiness was apparent.
From the tip of her head to the soles of her feet, she loved him deeply and that was quite obvious. The adoration was on full display. Longing stares, touches, and words. She clung to everything he said though it wasn’t much. Milo and Makai, they’d said more than Chemistry and Malachi combined.
They’ll never hear it from me, I promised myself while settling in my chair and watching the men around me do the same.
Though every bit of information was crucial to the investigation I was part of, this was a piece they’d never have. I’d meant every word I said to Chem. To the best of my ability, I’d protect what he loved.
I waited for the waitress to appear and collect our orders, thirsty for something with a slight kick to get me over the hump I was struggling with. Beautiful black men, all resembling the one I was growing closer to each day, had all lost the most important person in their worlds at a point in time.
To see them well and thriving was a blessing in itself. Yet, my heart still broke for them. My father passed away years ago, while I was a fully grown woman, yet his death knocked the life out of me. For an entire year and a half, I struggled to get off the couch and rejoin life. Aside from work, I was failing at everything else in my life when he left us.
Since Chemistry entered my world, I felt like something within me had been restored. To discover he was the man behind the case who would make or break my career as an agent was like thorns to the heart. Of course, I wanted to advance in my career, but I was beginning to believe I wanted what he was offering me even more.
Don’t think like that. I tried, but it was useless.
“So, Eden, correct?” Anna began as drinks approached us before being set on the table.
We hadn’t ordered anything. I hadn’t, at least.
“Thank you.” Baffled, I smiled at the loving staff.
My eyes wandered, but didn’t have far to travel before they landed on their mark.
“Everything was prearranged,” Chem explained.
With a nod, I turned and faced Anna. “Yes. Eden.”
“Such a beautiful name. Are you enjoying Berkeley so far?” She sipped from her glass with the sugared rim. I did the same, loving the silkiness of her voice. I wanted her to continue.
“It’s only been a few hours, but yes. So far so good. Any time I get to relax in a city other than my own, I’m all for it. That’s also when the exhaustion shows its true colors.”
“That’s true. What is it you do?”
I hesitated, unable to share my true occupation. I had to settle for something less satisfying, less truthful. But, just as the words formed, Chem cleared his throat.
“Nothing.”
Anna’s chin tipped toward him. Her brows pulled inward and her mouth slacked as she waited for him to explain. “Nothing?”
“Or whatever she wants. She’s still undecided but if it’s left up to me, nothing.”
Malachi placed his glass on the table, agreeing with his brother. “You remind me more and more just how much we think the same.”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” Chem shrugged.
“And you?” I asked Anna.
“Nothing.” Malachi sniggered, picking his drink up again.
She smiled, taking another sip from hers and nodding. She couldn’t deny the allegations and I didn’t want her to, either. If this was what ease looked like for a woman, then I was ready to submit–to the lifestyle, to the person who could provide it, and to my aspirations of acquiring it.
“For the most part, but I help my husband manage his business otherwise.”
A life of leisure. She was the poster girl and I’d noticed it from the moment of her entry. She was waiting on hand and foot. The men made her the center of their attention when she was around and everyone stopped to listen when she spoke. She was treated like a literal Goddess and to have the same treatment was blowing my mind.
They’re different, I surmised. These men are different.
The lone fact that they were his brothers catapulted me into a new space. I saw things from all angles and knew from experience that involving yourself with a person meant involving yourself with their family as well. Most people positioned themselves as acts in the circus that had multiple shows a year, all featuring family members with a hundred tricks up their sleeves.
Second-hand embarrassment was shameful until it knocked on their doorstep. And then, instead of laughing at the family shenanigans, you were part of them. Voluntarily or involuntarily. From deadbeat grandparents to uncles who needed to be underneath the jail for their crimes against the youth of the family, I’d seen and heard it all, and even investigated some.
Nothing about this family stood out to me. Nothing screamed for me to run for the hills. Nothing tried to convince me I didn’t belong at their family reunions, dripped in diamonds just like the ones Anna was covered in, with my head high and my belly swollen.
My family had drifted apart slowly as my sister and brother got deeper on their paths to nowhere. When my father died, that was the end of us. My mother, grandmother, aunts, and one of my uncles were the only family I was clinging to. The idea of joining one three times as big, wealthy, and sophisticated excited me.
“Any children?”
“Not yet, but someday soon, I imagine.”
I wasn’t sure why my eyes scoped out Malachi. The smile on his face as she said those words made it clear to me that he couldn’t wait until the day.
“You?”
They landed on Chemistry next. He waited, unmoving until I responded.
“Not yet, but someday soon, I imagine.”
Dramatically, Anna nodded, lifting her palm for me to match. Her fingers curled around mine as she slowly shook my hand back and forward. Chemistry stared daggers into my heart, but his satisfaction was notable.
More servers joined us as Milo and Makai returned to the table. They’d stepped away as everyone got situated in their seats. Appetizers of all kinds were placed in the center for us to freely indulge. The salmon bites were first on my list of treasures.
“You niggas ain’t spiked my shit, have you? Because I’d go home with you willingly,” Makai began, sipping from his cup.
“If we did, it’s far too late now. You’ve killed it.”
“Just keep it PG and have something rolled. I don’t mind being kidnapped.”
“Shut up, Makai,” Milo suggested. “Stop acting like a fucking fool in front of company.”
“If she’s at this table with this nigga, she ain’t company, Milo. She’s family.” He pointed out.
“Fact,” Chem agreed.
“What’s your name again?” Makai asked.
“Don’t bother,” Milo warned me.
“E–”
“Eclipse. Right. Right.”
The table grew silent, everyone staring in Makai’s direction. It was apparent he was the life of the party, the one to bring joy and laughter to the incredibly serious and highly sensitive nature of his family. And I enjoyed that.
“Yeah. Eclipse.” I laughed. “Mountain. My name is Eclipse.”
“Ahhhh. A sense of humor. I like her, ugly ass nigga,” he claimed, speaking to Chem.
“Niggas been dropping ’bout liking her. I don’t think that’s the one to like, Makai.” Chemistry shook his head as he fired off with a warning.
Oh God. Please, I begged inside.
“It’s Mountain,” he teased. “Standing tall– wide a–”
“My safety is not on, Makai. Don’t fuck with me.”
“She said it. I didn’t.”
“Fuck you.”
“See, I knew I shouldn’t have had that drink. I’m feeling a little woozy and you hollering out suspect ass shit like that. Milo, please don’t let him take me home. You hear that bass in his voice? I’m going to have a long night if he doe–”
“Makai, please.” Anna sighed. “Eden, forget everything he just said. Makai is the… special one of the bunch.”
At once, he quieted. The utmost respect being for the woman at a table full of men had my cheeks aiming for my eyes.
“Now that he’s quiet, we should all toast to Chemistry and his very interesting venture,” she announced, holding her drink up into the sky.
“That’s not going to cut it, baby. We need a few bottles. Shit like this doesn’t happen often,” Malachi stated, immediately searching for a server to put in the request.
“You’re right.” Anna lowered her glass.
“Has it always been that bad?” I whispered to Anna, wondering why it was so hard for everyone to believe Chemistry was seeing someone and things were serious enough to be introduced to part of the family.
“Worse,” Anna shared. “And I mean that with love. Chemistry swore he’d never fall for a woman, let alone trust one with his heart again.”
“Again?”
“Catherine.”
Nodding, I digested everything she’d said. Gazing at Chem, I gushed at the pure contentment on his face. He was in his comfort zone. He was happy here.
With pursed lips, I blew an air kiss. His teeth peeked through his bashful smile. In a swift motion, he grabbed the kiss I’d blown, mid-air, and placed it on his chest, right over his heart.
Bottles in buckets of ice sat beside each man at the table. At once, the corks were removed and the champagne glasses were filled from one end of the table to the other. Silently, the servers waited for our glasses to lift.
“To Chemistry and Eden,” Anna chanted.
“To Chemistry and Eden,” everyone else joined.
“To us,” I mouthed, facing the man himself.
“To us,” he repeated.
Empty glasses barely hit the table before they were filled again. Chatter began and didn’t end until dessert was cleared and we began dispersing from the table. I didn’t have a single complaint. The appetizers, entree, and dessert were all pleasant.
I found it hard to leave the people I’d shared the last two hours with when it was time to depart. I clung to Chemistry’s arm, trying to stop my head from spinning as we made our way out of the door. My head leaned onto his shoulder when we finally made it to the valet station where the truck we were in was being pulled around, along with the cars of the others in our party.
I watched Malachi and Anna speed off into the darkness.
I want that type of love. Visions of Chem and I ten years from now felt irrational, but they still played in my head as the tail lights got further and further away from us.
Milo and Makai were next. They’d rode together. Rubber burned as they exited the lot. Chem and I were last to go. He held the door open, waiting for me to climb in. As he locked the seatbelt around my body, his lips caressed mine. Passion erupted as emotions encouraged the vulnerability between us both.
“Hi.” I breathed heavily when he finally released me.
“Hi.”
Unable to contain myself, I wrapped my arms around him, peering into those dark rounds, searching for his depths. Searching for his core.
“I enjoy spending my days with you.”
“You have the rest of them to spend with me, Choc.”
“Yeah?”
With a nod, he responded.
“I admire the love between Anna and Malachi. It’s so pure. So effortless.”
“They’ve been together since they were kids. If you’ve never seen soulmates, there you have it.” He tipped his head in the direction they’d gone in. “In this lifetime and the next.”
“Do you ever dream of a love like that? Like theirs?”
“I never dreamed of love a day in my life, Eden.”
Disappointment scrunched my nose and brows.
“Until you,” he continued, finally bandaging my pain. “And it’s nothing like what my brother has because that’s theirs. What I want with you, for us, is something unlike anything else. Monumental. A little dysfunctional, possibly. Very fucking intense. Unshakable. Unbreakable.
“Something that can’t be penetrated. Something solid. Something real and unconditional. Something that remains the same through the good, bad, ugly, and unfathomable. Something misunderstood by most, but makes perfect fucking sense to us. Is that something you dream of, Eden?”
“Yes.”
It was like he’d stolen the vision right out of my head. One word in particular stuck out to me.
Unconditional.
In a perfect world, he’d mean that in every way, and what was on the verge would only be an obstacle we both used to build our bond. But, that was a perfect world and we didn’t live in one. Once everything erupted, I’d be happy to still have breath in my body. Even that would be a blessing because having Chem wouldn’t be in the prayers of things God granted me.
“You’re staring,” I teased.
“Can you blame me?”
I shook my head. “I’m guilty, too, thinking about the things I want you to do to me tonight.”
“I’m thinking about the number of zeros that’ll be absent from my account after tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?”
“We’re shopping, Choc. So, after I fuck you good, I need you to sleep good because we have a long day ahead of us.”
Learning how freely he moved in Berkeley was rewarding. He was quieter, less visible in Clarke. If you weren’t searching extremely hard for him, then you wouldn’t find him. He was invisible.
“Yes, sir.”
After another peck on the lips, he made his way around to the driver”s side. 6lack played as we cruised through Berkeley. The city was beautiful with a skyline worth drooling over. Chemistry took the scenic route, in hardly a rush to get back to the immaculate home we’d be in during our stay.
This is it.
The sunroof was pulled back, blowing my hair in the wind. I reached out, catching it in the palm of my hand. Equanimity calmed my being. Freedom toyed with my happiness. If only life for me was as simple as this late-night, slightly inebriated night with Chem, all would be well.
For now, I’d pretend. Because it felt better than anything I’d ever felt before. Both hands out of the sunroof led me to my knees. I climbed onto the armrest, sticking my upper body into the open air. April was such a beautiful time of the year. The temperature was perfect.
Everything was still as it prepared for the transition from winter to spring. Signs of life were noticed. Color began visiting the colorless parts of nature that the cold had ruined. All was well. There was restoration after such a brutal season.
This is everything.
Chem’s hand snaked up my leg, halting on my ass. He held me steady, making sure the alcohol I’d consumed didn’t interfere with the moment.
He’s everything.
I wanted to drown in his affection. Fall freely for his love. Surround myself with his happiness. Lay in his contentment. And contribute to his never-ending gratification.
My God this feels good.
The wind chilled my cheeks as Chemistry warmed my heart. I fought to stay in the moment, forgetting everything that could destroy it or destroy us for just a minute. My eyes closed, slowly, and my head tilted backward.
God, please, let us be okay when the dust settles. I can’t bear the thought of him hating me, not when I want his love more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life. Please.
Suddenly, the distance between us was overwhelming. In a swift motion, I lowered myself into the truck and into his arms.
“Baby,” he called out, remaining poised.
The lack of control of the wheel mattered none as I planted my head between his neck and shoulder. I wrapped my hands around him, pressing our bodies against each other. If any way possible, his skin was my destination. I wanted inside.
“Eden, what’s the wrong, baby?”
“Nothing,” I admitted. “Everything is right.”
Almost. Almost everything.
Silently, we continued our journey. I never returned to my seat. He’d become my resting place.
Upon our arrival, we filed out of the car. My feet never touched the ground. He carried me, with my legs wrapped around his waist and my arms around his neck, to the front of the truck. The door of the house was just too far away for us both.
My eyes were heavy with lust, my center throbbing to the point of discomfort. His dick was threatening to bust through his slacks. We wouldn’t make it. It was now that our unity was required.
When my back collided with the warmth of the hood, I winced, slightly, but recovered as the heat began melting my juices. They soiled the thong between my ass cheeks.
“Cheeeeeeem,” I moaned, feeling the wind hit my nipple. It was in his mouth a millisecond later.
Quickly, he undressed me, never parting ways with my breasts. From one to the other, he switched back and forth, making me delirious with desperation. Conflict developed with each second passed. I wasn’t sure if I wanted Chem buried in my mouth or my walls. I was still deciding when I felt his warm meat against my leg. But, as it tapped against my clit, it became very clear where he wanted to be.
“I want it in my mouthhhh.” I winced as he entered me.
“I’ll put it wherever you want me to, Choc. Just let me inside for now.”
My body parted for him, making way for his girth. Weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks with him and he hadn’t disappointed me yet. Mentally, physically, emotionally, sexually.
“I’ve got plans for us,” he groaned, taking my ear between his lips. “So many fucking plans.”
The sincerity in his voice tap danced on my heart. I knew he meant every word. It was the fact I also knew we’d never get to live them out that made it hurt.