Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
I should have known it wouldn’t be that easy. Lucy must have called or texted the other girls because they all came into the gallery ten minutes before closing. As soon as I saw them, I knew that my plans to spend the evening with Elijah were no longer happening.
At the moment they walked in, he was at my desk, leaning his hip against one corner. I looked up at him and whispered, “Save me.”
Elijah was looking at them when I spoke but turned his head at the sound of my words. “Sorry, Brown Eyes. I value my testicles.”
Chelsea guffawed at his answer. They had closed the distance from the door to my desk in a handful of seconds.
“I think he’ll do just fine with our group,” she said.
Lucy grunted and kept walking, heading toward Davide’s office.
“What’s going on?” I asked, looking between Yancy, Chelsea, and Tanya.
“We’re going to dinner, and we’re going to talk,” Yancy said.
I glanced up at Elijah again, asking him with my eyes to put a stop to this, but he shook his head and leaned down to kiss my cheek.
“I’ve been around your group long enough to know that they love you and they’re concerned. You should talk to them.”
“Aren’t you concerned they’ll try to talk me out of seeing you now?”
“You’re intelligent and strong, Gigi. You don’t do anything you don’t want to do. No matter what anyone says.”
Shit. That was the perfect answer because the compliment gave me butterflies and there was no way to argue against it.
“Not fair,” I mumbled.
“What’s not fair?” he asked.
“That was a really nice thing to say, but I can’t keep arguing with you about it since that would also mean I might cave if they pressured me.”
He chuckled. “No, it doesn’t. But I also know that your friends love you and that you need someone to talk to about what happens between us. Everyone needs someone like that.”
“Who’s that person for you?” I asked.
“Marcus. He’s the one who told me to get my head out of my ass about you, remember? That no one I dated before or would date in the future would measure up to you.”
“So, he convinced you?”
“Not exactly. More like hearing him say that was the permission I needed to do what I really wanted to do.”
I didn’t have a chance to respond because Lucy reappeared behind Elijah.
“All right, Gigi,” she said. “Davide said he’ll see you tomorrow morning.”
Great, Lucy just let my nickname from Elijah out of the bag. I knew the girls were going to run with it, because that’s what they always did.
“What?”
“He said that you can leave to go have dinner with us, and he’ll take care of shutting down the gallery.”
“Thanks so much for talking to my boss about my job responsibilities,” I drawled.
She ignored my sarcasm and rounded the desk. “Come on.”
I knew from experience she wasn’t going to budge, so I sighed and started the process of shutting down my computer. Once I finished that, I got up and gathered my jacket and purse.
Ignoring the four pairs of eyes staring at us both, I sidled up to Eli. “Last chance to have me to yourself tonight.”
He grinned at me. “Have fun, and call me when you get home.”
I closed my eyes when he leaned down to kiss me. It was short and sweet but still made my belly dip. When his mouth released mine, I lifted my eyelids and stared up at his handsome face.
“I guess I can do that.”
His smile widened as he stepped back and looked at my friends. “She’s all yours, ladies.”
As we walked outside, I asked, “Where are we going?”
“Kosta’s,” Tanya answered before anyone else could say a word. “The baby wants Greek food.” She rubbed her growing baby bump as she said it.
“I’ll ride with Grier,” Chelsea said.
I shot her a sidelong look. She was riding with me to make sure I went to the restaurant and we all knew it. She ignored me and walked to the passenger door of my car.
The drive to the restaurant was quiet, but she seemed relaxed, chatting occasionally about plans for Thanksgiving and wondering about her chances of talking Landen into throwing a Christmas party.
When we arrived at Kosta’s, it was busy, but there was a round table in the corner that seated all five of us. It started like any other dinner with our group. We ordered drinks and appetizers, chatting about the food we wanted to try or whether we wanted to split a bottle of wine.
It wasn’t until the server walked away that the part of the evening I dreaded started.
Yancy fixed her stare on me, leaning her elbows on the table. “Why didn’t you tell us about Elijah?”
I knew the question was coming, and even though I expected it, I hesitated before I answered.
Finally, I said, “At first, it was just supposed to be one night. Then, when it happened again and again, I wasn’t sure how things were going to progress. We didn’t really talk about what our expectations were.”
I paused when the waiter returned with four wine glasses and a bottle of red wine. He opened it and poured each of us, except for Tanya, a wine glass. She was sticking with water, though she did stare longingly at our glasses as the waiter poured our wine.
Once he left again, I continued without waiting for anyone to speak, “I wasn’t sure I wanted to know because I really liked him.
I was afraid to hear an honest answer. I guess I knew he wasn’t serious at first and I didn’t want things to be awkward when they ended.
” I laughed. “I mean, this isn’t awkward or anything. ”
None of them laughed.
“That’s not what I’m talking about,” Yancy said.
It was my turn to ask a question. “Then, what did you mean?”
It was Tanya who answered this time. “Any time one of us needs help, advice, or just someone to vent to, you are the first one to step up. You always listen to us, and we all know you would do anything for us. Why won’t you let us do the same for you?”
Her question took me aback. “I…”
I honestly had no answer.
“Why won’t you let us help you?” Lucy asked. “We ask you for help all the time. Why won’t you ask us?”
I stared at all of them and realized that this was the real reason they were hurt by my secrecy. It wasn’t because I was dating someone without talking about. It was because I didn’t trust them the way they trusted me.
My eyes stung as tears filled them, and I blinked rapidly to keep them from falling. It didn’t work, but I tried.
“Don’t cry, Gigi,” Chelsea said, patting my arm. “We love you, and we know you love us. We just want to give you what you give us.”
There was no stemming the tears then. I sniffled as they trickled down my cheek and reached for my napkin. I didn’t even have it in me to bicker with them about using one of the nicknames Elijah gave me.
“I know,” I murmured. “You guys are awesome. I just…” I dabbed the tears from my face. “I just don’t know how to ask for help. Until you four, I never had anyone I could ask before.”
That was another thing to discuss with my therapist at our next session.
I usually did a virtual session once a month, but maybe it was time to go back to every other week.
I tended to be hyperindependent because I’d spent most of my childhood either being neglected by my mother or trying my hardest to be less of a burden to my grandparents and foster parents so they wouldn’t get rid of me.
I knew it, and I thought I was doing a better job, but clearly, I had fallen back into old habits.
“All you have to do is talk to us,” Lucy said. “If you don’t want to tell us the name of the guy you’re dating, tell us that. We won’t ask too many questions then.”
I knew my answering look was disbelieving, which made her laugh.
“Okay, so we will ask questions, but we’ll understand if you don’t answer.”
“So, back to my original question,” Yancy said. “Why didn’t you tell us about Elijah?”
I blew out a breath and took a deep drink of my wine before I answered, “Because I knew I was being stupid. I knew I should talk to him about how I was feeling. But I was so afraid of what his answer would be that it was easier just not to ask. I did everything I tell y’all not to do when you ask me for advice. ”
Chelsea shrugged. “You’re human, Grier. You’re going to make mistakes just like we do. We just want to be a safe place for you the way you’re a safe place for us.”
“I love y’all,” I said. “And I promise I’ll try to do better.”
“Don’t worry. We’ll remind you,” Chelsea said.
Everyone laughed, even me.
“I guess that’s fair,” I agreed.
Chelsea leaned over and hugged me. When she released me, Lucy, who was on my other side, did the same.
“Tell us what’s going on now,” Tanya said. Her eyes gleamed with curiosity. “Clearly he’s interested in more than just a fling.”
I shot Lucy a look. “Did you tell them everything?”
“Of course I did.”
I couldn’t even be upset with her. I hadn’t told her to keep it between us, and I really hadn’t expected her to.
Though they surprised me with their ambush this evening, I knew it was only a matter of time before something like this happened.
We were all good friends and most of them had no respect for boundaries.
Tanya and Yancy tried, but Lucy and Chelsea were wild cards.
Our appetizers arrived in the middle of my story.
I stopped talking for a bit so we could all eat, but I finished explaining everything that had happened around the same time our entrees arrived.
The girls listened and occasionally asked a question or said something, but, for the most part, they let me talk and just listened.
As everything came tumbling out, I felt lighter and lighter.
I realized how much weight I’d been carrying around by not talking to someone about what was going on in my life and in my head.
How much it dragged me down. And how much I needed someone to just listen to me and tell me I wasn’t being too anxious or needy.
“I always liked Elijah,” Chelsea said. “I’m still kinda mad at him for hurting you, but I also have to admit that he’s got rizz.”
“Rizz?” Tanya asked, her brows shooting up to her hairline.