Chapter 47
“Okay, I know. I know—I’m sitting on the floor, and you don’t like it . . .
“Stevie.
“Stevie.
“Hey. Calm down.
“Calm down.
“Okay, sniff me. Yep. See, I’m okay. I’m just trying to talk to you . . .
“Stevie, down. Down. Off.
“You don’t listen when I say it, do you?
“Do you want a treat? Steven, sit. Sit.
“Good girl. That’s better. Yeah, that’s better. Look at you. So pretty. So nice.
“Just let me say this, okay?
“Yeah, eat your treat. There you go.
“Here’s the thing, Stevie . . . Are you listening?
“Hey, I’m talking to you—listen.
“I want you to know that I love you.
“Do you understand that? I love you.
“But I think Tom will do a better job of loving you. I can’t just keep you because I want to cry into your fur every day. Do you see what I’m saying?
“No, no more treats. No more, see? Look at my hands. They’re empty.
“I don’t even think you’ll miss me, Stevie. I don’t think your memory has much permanence, if I’m being honest—I think you’d go home with the mailman and never look back.
“But I’ll miss you. I’ll really miss you.
“I know, you don’t like it when I cry. I know.
“I’m okay. Yep. Look, I’m okay. Look at me. Stevie. This is all I’m good for. Crying on you.
“I don’t want to take you for walks. I actually hate taking you for walks. And I hate cleaning out your ears—yeah, your floppy ears—even though I know they’re prone to yeast
infections.
“I know. Yeah, I know. You want me to shake your hand? Okay. We’re shaking. Yep. Look at you. You’re so civilized. You’re
so tender.
“You know what else I hate?
“Okay, we can shake again.
“I hate that you’re only going to live eight to twelve years. I don’t think I can handle watching you fade so soon. What sort
of person does that make me?
“That’s right, look at me. Are you trying to figure it out?
“You’ll be happier with him, Stevie.
“I was happier with him.
“I know, I know. You don’t like crying. I know. Okay shake—yep, shake. Good girl. What a good girl.
“I just wanted you to understand my rationale, Stevie. Do you understand?
“Will you miss me?
“No. I know you won’t.
“I know, I know.”