Chapter 4
Chapter Four
Armando
“It’s not a big apartment,” Marco says as he puts the keys into the door and opens it. “But it’s down the hall from me, and the building is centrally located.”
I take a look around the small apartment.
It’s simple and cozy, but there are no decorations or any other personal touches.
The bedroom is furnished with just a bed, dresser, and a small nightstand.
There’s a black, leather couch in the living room and a kitchen table in the corner of the room.
The only window is in the living room, but there’s a balcony outside with a great view of the Chicago skyline.
“You can decorate it however you want, put up whatever pictures you want,” Marco says, gesturing to the blank walls. “The landlord is cool here. Also, my lady friend says that she knows a few people who can do interior design for you if you want. I can hook you up with them if you’re interested.”
I look around the apartment, feeling a bit overwhelmed. I’ve been in jail with a cellmate for long enough that the idea of actually being alone for a night is bizarre.
“I know it’s not much, but it’s a start,” Marco says, apparently trying to be encouraging. “Soon you’ll be back on your feet, and you can do whatever the fuck you want.”
I nod and take a deep breath. “Thanks, Marco.” I should show more enthusiasm, but I can’t muster it.
Luckily, Leo enters the apartment, his dominance filling the room.
During my time in prison, my cousin has grown.
He’s no longer the scrawny, young, arrogant kid trying to prove himself to the Outfit.
He’s nearly tripled in size and reminds me of a brick wall.
Nothing but brawn strides into the room.
I don’t think Marco and I combined could take this man down if we tried.
His eyes dart to the balcony. “What the fuck? A balcony? A ladder escape? Are you just inviting someone to come up here and jump him?”
“He’s laying low right now,” Marco retorts. “It’s not like there’s a hit on him or anything. Let the man enjoy a view and some fresh air after having gone so long without it.”
Leo grunts in hesitant approval, his eyes still scanning the apartment for any threats.
He finally turns to me. “Welcome back, cuz. I’ve missed you.
” He claps me on the shoulder, his grip strong and comforting.
He then narrows his eyes at his brother.
“Balconies only bring pigeons. Pigeons bring shit.”
“I put beer in the fridge,” Marco says as he walks toward the kitchen with an eye roll. “Anyone?”
“Yeah.” I need one. I feel completely out of place in what is supposed to be my home.
Leo takes a beer from Marco and tips it toward me. “Cheers, cuz. To a new start.”
I take the beer, wanting to savor the taste of freedom, but it tastes as flat as my emotions. Is this freedom?
It’s all so strange. I’m out of prison, but I’m not really free. I’m living a life dependent on the generosity and connections of others.
Leo sits on the couch and stretches his legs. “So, Mando,” he begins. “You cool with Grace and Emilio? Truly cool?”
“Fuck no.” I can actually be honest with my cousins.
Marco grunts his agreement.
“The don says to be cool, so I’m cool. But truth between us, the situation is fucked.” I cross over to an armchair next to the couch and sit with my beer as I take a long swig.
“I never liked Grace,” Marco offers, leaning up against the kitchen counter. “I wasn’t surprised when she went searching for her next meal ticket.”
“I don’t give a fuck about Grace.” Or at least not anymore. “It’s fucked that what was mine wasn’t protected while I was inside. Emilio stepped in when he should have been watching out. He broke the fucking code, man.”
“Yeah, it’s bullshit,” Leo agrees. “He broke the code for sure. No way to defend that.”
“I didn’t see it coming,” Marco says. “I would have squashed that shit fast if I had.”
“Same.” Leo's jaw tightens. “Emilio kept that under lock and key. By the time word got out, the don was aware and seemed to give his approval. So…”
“If the don says no retribution…” Marco begins.
“There won’t be retribution,” I finish.
But that doesn’t mean I have to like it. That doesn’t mean I have to forget. I take another swig of beer and shake my head.
“Besides. Grace always took me as a lazy fuck. I can’t see her giving good head.” Marco smirks, clearly trying to lighten the mood.
Personally I don't agree with knocking a guy's ex because you're basically insulting his taste in the first place, but whatever.
“Yeah, you definitely need to find yourself someone who can meet your sexual appetite. Because after your drought… you gotta be one ravenous motherfucker,” Leo adds.
I remember when I used to see men come out of prison and think the same thing. Like the worst thing in the world for these ex-convicts was how long they’d have to go without sex. I’m sure I'd think the same thing as Marco and Leo. Sex is the first priority because how could it not be?
But, shit… I’m not even sure how to start. My entire body feels fucking numb. Including my dick.
“The don gave me some bullshit construction job. It’s just for appearances,” I tell them. “I show up and collect a check.”
"Yeah, I heard that," Marco says.
“Not a bad gig.” Leo finishes his beer in one last swig and then motions for Marco to pass him another one.
“It feels as if I’ve been put to pasture,” I admit. “I was in my prime before all this shit. Now, I’m practically retired.”
“Temporarily, right?” Marco asks. "Until parole is over?"
I shrug. “My entire life feels temporary. A big fucking pause button was hit when I got pinched. Now what?”
“You need money?” Leo asks.
"Nah." I shake my head. “The don took care of that. And this job puts me in a good spot. But thanks.”
The last thing I’d do is take money from my cousins. I feel like a burden as it is.
“You did your time. You didn’t snitch. And now you’re back. You’ve earned some retirement life. Enjoy it while you can. I’m sure that once parole is over, the don will have you working full time, earning again.”
“We’ll get your life back in order,” Marco adds. “It will take some time, but you’ll rise from the fucking ashes. I promise.”