Chapter 31
Their position in the now straggling line of horses was slightly behind the centre. Ainsel didnae care; the ground was still damp frae the storm so that she and Gilda werenae o’er much bothered by dust. Ghillie said they nae longer trusted women to ride at the rear since Maggie McArthur wandered off the path on the way home to Cragenlaw. “She did find herself a husband, though,” he told them with obvious enjoyment. “Robertson of Sgian, and that after her turning up her nose at every other man the McArthur paraded afore her, so I suppose he couldnae complain. That’s him at the rear with Jamie Ruthven. I was surprised Maggie didnae come with the others, but when I mentioned it my father made one of those faces men adopt when talking of some women’s problems. As if being with child made her sick. My father is slightly auld fashioned.”
Ainsel and Gilda smiled at each other. Nae matter how Ghillie spoke, he wasnae very auld compared to the rest of them travelling to Dun Bhuird. As her grandfather had been wont to say, ‘an auld head on young shoulders’.
“But yerself, Ghillie, ye have nae such qualms,” Ainsel teased.
“I don’t. I like to know at least a wee bit about most things. How can I understand what the gods want of us otherwise?” he told them as if it were the most normal thing in the world, and she supposed that to him it was.
Ainsel wondered what the gods thought about her and Rory, and with that thought in mind, she looked up and saw him riding against the flow towards them. Against all reason, her heart lifted at the sight of him and thrilled to an emotion only Rory could wring out of her—not love but hope, which flared for nae reason she could put a name to. If only the expression on his face could be described as aught but dour.
“I’d like a word with Ainsel if ye dinnae mind.” His gaze took in the other two for a moment then turned on her. “Come with me to the end of the line.”
She held back, refused to give sway to the tiny flicker of excitement dancing in her belly, and answered with the barest dip of her chin. As for Ghillie, she found the glint in his eye harder to push aside as she turned her mount and followed Rory past the ones riding behind her.
“We need to talk.”
“Agreed.”
Then they did aught but talk for at least a league.
“I regret the way I acted towards ye. It was uncalled for and not the act of an … an honourable man.” Rory’s speech was stilted, forced, reluctant.
His almost-apology deserved a reply and for all the thoughts that had buzzed through her since the moment he’d said ‘We need to talk’, all she could bring to mind was, “There are faults on both sides.”
“Will ye tell me about the lad? Ye cannae know how much I wish I had paid him more heed yon few times I saw him; however, I admit it was his mother that held my gaze and, though I thought him a guid, sturdy lad. Except for when I tried to cozen ye into returning to Dun Bhuird with me, I didnae spare him any more thought than to wonder if he would be able to travel safely with us. My stomach churns when I realize I missed even yon wee moments of his life.” His head dipped as he spared her a glance out the side of his eye and waited.
She turned in the saddle to face him, though his horse was almost two hands taller than her own, and her eyes sought out the truth in his. Satisfied, she asked, “What do ye want to know?”
“Everything. What about when he was born? Did ye have a hard time? Rob’s wife, Melinda, had twin lads and almost died. They ne’er had any more.”
It would seem that it wasnae only lasses whau spoke of horrific births to frighten new mothers. “Axel’s wasnae an easy birth nor was it life-threatening. He was more long-limbed than fat: arms, legs, I wondered how he managed to fold himself up inside my womb, and even afore he was born he could kick.”
His lips twisted as if in pain. “I wish I had known, been there to see ye big with my bairn.”
“Aaah,” she sighed, remembering. “Ye see, I had a man whau thought he was the father. Proud as a wee linty he was. He even stopped hitting me for a wee while. It didnae last. Ye see, the habit was ingrained in him.” She paused a moment to gather up her words. “Since we met his true wife on Orkney, it came to me that he was the one at fault, for he never had a child with her either, though he hit me often enough when my flux arrived, said I was barren. The fault must have been his,” she smirked, “for only one night of lying with ye, Rory Farquharson and yer seed took root.”
“And so she went on, telling Rory in detail how it had been when she gave birth to Axel, because he truly wanted to know.
The sky darkened as they straggled at the end of the group. Up ahead, she could see someone had lit a fire at the place they would camp for the night and, just afore they came upon them, she finished her tale of Axel’s birth. “As soon as they lifted the bairn frae betwixt my thighs, I knew he wasnae Nils’s because his hair clung to his scalp in soft dark waves. Ye saw Nils for yerself, his hair was lint white; that’s how I knew he wasnae Nils’s, and I thanked the gods for their generous gift.” She smiled, thinking of the day Olaf saw her son. “As soon as Grandfather saw the bairn, he immediately came out with a story how he knew Nils had a cousin with dark hair. Nae one questioned his veracity, and Grandfather was smiling. It was he whau named him and discovered the birthmark on one side of Axel’s neck.”
With a lift of one hand Rory rubbed his neck, “I have a birthmark there as well, as does Gavyn. God’s teeth,” he cursed under his breath. “My mother must have seen it and known. That must be why she had nae hesitation o’er taking Axel back to Dun Bhuird with her.”
“But will she give him back?”