12. Bram
12
brAM
A fter our bath, I wrapped Sophie in one of my robes and carried her back to bed. Despite her insistence that she wasn’t tired, she was snoring quietly within minutes, curled beneath my duvet, damp hair spread over my pillow.
It takes a lot for me to pull myself away, and even then, I stand at the edge of the bed gazing down at her, my heart in my throat. Against all odds, I got the girl. Now, I just need to figure out how to keep her. She doesn’t have the same certainty about this that I do, but I’m determined to get us on more solid ground before this storm is over.
We’re making progress, though the phone call I got this morning certainly created a few pitfalls. Starting off our relationship with any kind of subterfuge seems like a recipe for disaster. Right now, Sophie is looking for any reason to run for the hills, and while I don’t want to keep things from her, this wasn’t my secret to tell.
Padding downstairs, my stomach twists uncomfortably as I lift my phone from my pocket and hit Honor’s contact. I told her I would call her soon, but knowing I have to hide something from Sophie, again, has my anxiety level rising with each ring.
By the time Honor picks up with a subdued, “Hey, Dad,” it’s difficult to breathe beneath the weight pressing on my ribcage.
“Hey, kid.” I stare out at the falling snow, one finger drumming on the edge of the phone. “Just wanted to check in.”
Honor is silent for a moment, and when she responds, her voice is weary. “I’m okay.”
I sigh. “That doesn’t sound okay. Have you talked to Riley?”
“Yup,” she scoffs bitterly. “She denies everything, of course, but she can’t explain how pictures of her boobs ended up in that girl’s DMs. It’s over. I’m getting on the first flight home once the storm is clear.”
Privately, I think she dodged a bullet. Every interaction I’ve had with my daughter’s now ex-girlfriend over the last few years solidified the impression she was a spoiled, entitled rich kid whose primary concern was where she’ll spend her next vacation. By contrast, my daughter is diligent and hardworking, determined to make her own way in the world without help from me or her mother. I’m sorry she hurt her and that it ended this way, but I’m not sorry to see the back of Riley.
Through the phone, I hear the indistinct rumble of a deep male voice, and I frown. “Who’s there with you?”
Another pause. “Oh! Um. All the hotels were booked for the holiday, so Riley’s dad took me in.” There’s something in her voice I’m not sure I’ve heard there before, and I’m instantly on alert.
“Are you comfortable with that? I can?—”
“Yes!” Honor rushes to assure me. “Oh my gosh, yes. He’s been great. I just feel bad for ruining his Christmas with all this.”
The man’s voice sounds again, though I can’t make out what he’s saying, and Honor sighs. “How’s everything there? I hope you’re not too lonely without us.”
“I’m not,” I assure her distractedly, thinking of Sophie sleeping in my bed, just upstairs. “Want me to ruin her life? I’m sure I can pay people to do that.”
My daughter lets out a reluctant giggle. “No. It sucks, but to be honest, I think it’s been over for a while. We never really made each other happy, but I might have a bit of a hard time quitting.”
I bite back a smile, remembering the summer she sent a letter every single day to her favorite boy band until they responded. “Yeah, you might. Don’t let one mistake make you feel like that’s a bad thing, though.”
A sniff greets my words. “I won’t. Thanks, Dad.”
“Have you told Sophie and your sister what happened?” It would really help my current position if I wasn’t forced to keep something this big from Sophie. It’s not my place to tell her, though, and that’s a line I won’t cross, especially with Honor still oblivious to our new relationship.
“No. Don’t say anything to Leni. It’s Christmas Eve, they don’t need to be caught up in all my drama. Besides, neither of them were big on Riley, and I don’t have the stomach for an I told you so right now.”
Outside the house, the wind picks up, creating dunes of snow across the backyard. With difficulty, I swallow. “I don’t think either of them would do that.”
“No,” agrees Honor with a weary sigh. “They’d be all supportive and sweet, but I would know they were secretly happy. I’ll tell them, I swear, I just want to sit with it for a few days. Once we’re through the holiday I’ll come home to face the music. ”
“I understand,” I tell her, and I do. It puts me in a difficult position, but I won’t betray my daughter’s trust any more than I already have. With any luck, Sophie and I will have come to an understanding by then, and she’ll have stopped looking for reasons to end this before it’s really begun. “Call me in the morning?”
“Of course.”
We say goodbye, and I let the hand holding my phone fall back to my side, uneasiness brewing. There is already so much shit against Sophie and I, but the largest obstacle is her fear of losing Honor. Now, I understand why. Her own family didn’t love her for who she was, it’s natural she would cling to the first person who did.
If the last day has taught me anything, though, it’s that I’m not willing to walk away from this. Making sure Sophie never feels that kind of rejection again just became my life’s work, and it’s beyond frustrating how much of this situation is out of my control. For now, all I can do is show her how much she means to me.
Troubled, I stare out at the deepening snow for a while longer, lost in thought, before turning back toward the stairs. Sophie is where I left her, but when I pull off my shirt and get into bed, she mumbles indistinctly, turning into my embrace.
I kiss her hair, and warmth spreads through me at the sound of her happy sigh. “You smell like my boss,” she mumbles without opening her eyes, fingers playing absently with the hair on my chest.
Chuckling, I press my lips to her temple as I allow the comfort of holding her to chase away my worries of a few moments ago. “Have you been smelling your boss? I thought he had a fondness for that garlic dish.”
“He has a supersonic toothbrush in his office, so it’s fine.”
I stare at the wall behind her, my cheeks aching from how much she’s had me smiling. “Will you ever get bored of teasing me?”
Sophie stretches luxuriously, cracking open one eye with a lazy smile. “Probably not. Does it bother you?”
I snort, brushing strands of caramel hair off her face so I can see her properly. “If it bothered me, I don’t think we would be here right now, sweetheart.”
This must be the correct answer, because her smile widens, and she looks so beautiful in the wintery light, framed by tangled curls and my white sheets… I’m not sure my breath has ever been taken away just by looking at someone before, but it is now.
“I like the way you give me shit.” I catch her hand with mine and lift it to brush my lips over the inside of her wrist, the shadow of a kiss. “But we’ll need to work on you using it as a defense mechanism.”
Sophie groans. “Damn. I do that, don’t I?”
“Yes.” Another soft kiss, and I let her hand fall back to my chest. “You don’t need to with me. I want your smiles and your tears. Do you understand?”
If we were standing, I’m not sure I could keep myself from falling flat on my back at the sweet, vulnerable look she gives me as she says, “I think I’m starting to.”
One hand weaves carefully through the hair at the base of her skull, guiding her lips to mine so I can kiss her with one singular purpose.
Fall in love with me, Sophie.
Any other day, I would be inside her by now, but she’s had a rough few days, and I’m determined to keep my hands off her, at least for now. With reluctance, I break the kiss, gazing down at her as I drag my thumb back and forth over her hip.
“I’ve been thinking,” I begin, a bit concerned I’m pushing my luck and this is too much, too fast, “we should start some new holiday traditions. ”
My worries were for nothing, however, because Sophie is glowing. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” I roll to the edge of the bed and stand, turning back to pull her up with me.
“What are we going to do?”
“Something we’re both very good at.”
“This isn’t doing what it should.” I tilt my head, watching as the small cracker and frosting house before me slumps onto the plate for the fifth time in a row.
Across the table, Sophie isn’t having much luck, either. Not having gingerbread, or any of the ingredients to make traditional gingerbread houses, we raided the pantry and ended up with a jar of frosting, two boxes of crackers, and raisins for decoration.
“You are a literal architect, and I am a literal engineer. What the actual shit. Children do this,” she hisses, scrunching up her nose in impatience.
“I think we’re working with poor materials.” I cast a look around at the assembled supplies, annoyed. “What if we cut slots in the crackers and fit them together?”
Sophie brightens at this suggestion and dives for one of the butter knives I took out for frosting application. The cracker breaks apart instantly and she drops it with a disgruntled huff, casting a look up at me. “Maybe this is the universe telling us to seek new career paths.”
With a sigh, I get up to stretch, peering around the room as if some other potential holiday tradition will make itself known. To my surprise, a pair of slim female arms loop around my middle, hugging me from behind. My heart leaps as Sophie kisses my back and says gently, “Next year, we’ll do better. ”
Next year.
I laugh quietly, turning in her arms to face her as hope swells inside me. “Next year, huh?”
One corner of her mouth lifts in a shy, half-smile. “If you still want me by then. And if Honor hasn’t murdered me in my sleep.”
“I will, and she won’t.” I lean down to kiss the corner of her lips and can tell by the way she arches closer to me, that there’s something else on my greedy girl’s mind.
Without explanation, I draw away and take her hand, leading the way over to the couch. Sophie watches as I sit back, her teeth finding her bottom lip as, holding her gaze, I undo the button of my pants and pull them down, freeing my erection.
“Suck my cock, Sophie.”