Chapter 15
Above all else, a knight is to be chivalrous.
Iwake up completely tangled in Sanders’ arms. Just like I have for the past week. Only, today is different because it’s the last time I’ll wake up like this.
It’s winter solstice. The day I’ve been dreading.
We kept our promise of spending our last few days together in bed, only getting up for the necessities. But now our blissful, delusional bubble is about to pop.
“Your thoughts are extremely loud this morning, Penelope.” Sanders’ voice is sleepy and sultry right up against my ear, sending goosebumps across my body.
Wait. “Can you actually hear my thoughts?”
He laughs. “No, my love. It is one of the expressions you taught me, remember?”
Thank gods. I would be mortified if he knew exactly how many times a day his fit body crosses my mind.
“Tonight is the night…”
“Yes, it is,” he replies. “How are you feeling?”
“Fine,” I lie. Though I know it’s useless because he can feel that I’m not fine.
“Hmm. Convincing.”
“How are you?” I ask, turning the question on him.
He pulls back to look at me, taking a lock of my hair between his fingers and twisting it. “I am conflicted.”
Oof.
“About?”
He studies my face. “I want to make sure I am making the right decision for the both of us. You did not ask for me to invade your life like this. I would not want to do anything you are not one-hundred percent comfortable with.”
“How chivalrous,” I joke.
“I took an oath, Lady Penelope.” He smiles.
“For what it’s worth, you are not invading my life. Ironically, I have never felt quite as alive as I do with you.”
His lips meet mine in a deep, passionate kiss. “I feel the same,” he says. “I was not really living under my curse. I was wandering through the decades, aimless. You have given me purpose.”
“I feel the same way.” I sigh. “Any last items you want to add to your list today?”
“No. I want to spend the day with you.”
I smile. “I can make that happen. Shall we start with a shower?”
He snuggles in closer, planting a kiss along the column of my neck. “Excellent idea.”
We stay in the shower until the water gets cold, and then we use our body heat to warm each other back up. We don’t bother getting dressed until the sun has long since set and we prepare to head to the cemetery.
Ready or not, here we come.
It’s near midnight when we arrive at the cemetery. There’s an eerie silence and a thick layer of fog surrounding the headstone where Sanders first appeared.
“Ominous.”
Sanders squeezes my hand in reassurance. “It looks the same as it does when I have arrived before. That is a promising sign.”
“Mhmm.” Super promising. Love that for me. “So what do we do now?”
“Typically I stand by the gravesite where I arrived and then… nothingness until the next time I open my eyes.”
“So you are going to go? You don’t want to stay?” I hate how vulnerable I sound, but the closer we get to his departure, the more desperately I want to prevent it.
He tugs me close to him, cupping my face. “Of course I want to stay, Penelope. I… I have a feeling that if I do, though, I will remain cursed. I must try to cross and find peace once and for all.”
As soon as he says it, I realize he’s right. If he stays, there’s no telling what might happen. Technically he hasn’t broken the curse yet and curses are volatile magic. He could put himself in great danger if he stays.
A tear falls from the corner of my eye, and then another. And another. Until I’m damn near sobbing.
Sanders pulls me into him, rocking me back and forth in soothing motions. “Shh, it is okay, my love. You will be okay.”
I don’t know if I will, though. My heart feels like it’s cleaving in two. Like Sanders has reached into my chest and pulled it out, preparing to take it with him beyond the veil.
“I love you, Penelope.” He strokes the back of my head, planting a kiss on my temple. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” I sob.
He presses one last kiss to my lips, deepening it as the internal clock ticks on in both of our heads.
At 11:59, he pulls back, stepping into the fog. “I love you. You will be okay,” he repeats.
Holding my hands up, I refuse to close my eyes as I push magic toward him, unsure if this will work. I focus on his peace, his happiness, and my love for him. I watch and wait… thirty seconds, forty-five. I’m about to give up?—
And then he disappears.