Chapter 3 #3
Then what is the point?
Maybe it’s this: If she can’t support herself, she has to prove she’s worth existing some other way.
Before she can solidify the point, Tommy scoffs. “You had nothing like we do now. I’ll order you a VR headset. You’ll see. Maybe you can even have an m-volt implanted when you come to the lab. It makes the experience so immersive, and there are programs for anything you can imagine.”
“Ugh. I don’t want a fake blast of endorphins or to get lost down some online rabbit hole.” She studies him for a moment, assessing whether he might understand what she’s saying.
“What do you want then, Electra? Try to explain it if you can.” His lips purse like he’s losing patience.
Closing her eyes, she envisions what might make her feel good in this moment.
Or if not good, give her a little relief from this ache in her chest and the fear of what will become of her.
“I want to go to the park with a friend, sit on a bench and feel the sun on my skin. I need to vent or talk about the people I miss desperately. I need a friend to tell me they’re on my side and that everything’s going to be okay.
Or at least make me laugh with some quirky observation about the irony of my situation. ”
“Let me talk to Res6 and see if we can find some vents for you. In the meantime. . .” He takes the tablet and begins furiously tapping the screen.
A few minutes later, he moves to sit beside her so they can both see.
“See this app here?” He taps the icon of a dancing monkey.
“I’ve added several videos to your queue that will explain how the world works now.
Shortly after conception, citizens get a certain base knowledge implanted into their DNA along with a few language models, just like manupartners, so this is the best place for you to start.
” Implanted? Electra blinks, nods for Tommy to continue.
“It will all be explained in more detail in the videos.”
The next icon he clicks on shows a stylized, angry-looking frog’s head.
There is a feed in the center and dozens of categories to choose from on the left-hand side, like a combination of some of the more popular chatroom platforms from her time.
“This app, FrogBlog, will give you an opportunity to connect with others in our municipality.”
“What about books?” Surely people still read. If she sees what's trending, maybe she'll discover where she belongs.
“Physical books aren’t really a thing anymore, a consequence of The Great Warming, which will be explained in video four, I believe.
” Before she can deflate completely, Tommy continues as he taps the screen, opening a new app.
“Most people prefer to listen to books via the Intella-VoiceActs program because physical words can be so tedious, but I do occasionally derive entertainment from the Books app library. Of course, anyone can upload content, so you have to sift through it to find just what you’re looking for.
There are lots of short-form publications to consume as well. ”
Her cheeks burn with a smile she can’t repress.
Would this little tablet tour have been so difficult for Res6?
It’s amazing how such a little sprinkle of human decency can make all the difference.
The loneliness she felt before Tommy arrived threatens to bubble up, but her buzzing excitement overrules it.
Maybe she can immerse herself in a book or find an online book club.
Surely there are people now who have similar interests.
Tommy huffs. “You seem to be in better spirits. Time for a shower,” he announces.
He doesn’t hesitate to grab her hand and drag her off the bed, giving her a not-so-gentle nudge into the bathroom.
A second later he’s in there with her, pressing buttons, and the room fills with steam.
“Just set the rumpled shirt outside the door so I can burn it!” he chirps, seeming pleased with his accomplishment of herding her into the shower.
“I’ll put the fresh clothes I brought right outside. ”
The door clicks shut, and Electra is alone again with her thoughts.
She catches her reflection in the mirror, first noticing the tangled mess of her dark hair.
God, she looks awful. Fine, she’ll shower.
As she pulls Res6’s shirt over her head, the woodsy citrus aroma is decidedly overpowered by her own body odor that is now mixing with the steam and threatening to gag her.
She steps into the pleasantly warm water, cheeks heating.
No wonder they were so insistent on her bathing.
Hope kindles in her chest as she washes away the stench of wallowing in her own self-pity for a week. It’s crazy how being alone made her so depressed. All it took was a single visit from a kind-ish human being to lift her spirits—granted, at the behest of his employer. Still.
Tommy urged her to understand how the world is now and how devoid-of-personality manupartners make people happy. But there’s no way that can be true. Not with what she’s experienced time and time again. People need people. Maybe even people like prickly, compassionless Res6.
She holds her hand beneath a spout labeled Hair Wash and waits patiently as a thimble-sized dollop drops onto her palm.
Considering the bird’s nest she’s currently sporting, one dollop won’t be enough.
She waves her hand under the spout several more times.
When she is satisfied with the glob in her palm, she massages the luxurious-smelling product into her hair.
It feels like she’s lived a lifetime in the last week, and she almost forgot herself. Because there is one truth she always comes back to. The universe may have dealt her a shit hand, but that’s never stopped her from picking up the pieces—no matter how shattered they are.
With the resources that Tommy shared with her, she now has so many possibilities.
So many ways for her to find a niche and start over.
She can write another book and try to find a publisher.
Or if that isn’t a thing anymore, publish it herself through the Books platform.
Maybe if she builds up a big enough audience, she can see what it takes to hire a human narrator.
Excitement zings through her as she towels off. She slips into the baggy gray jumpsuit Tommy left for her and rifles through the drawers until she finds a comb for her hair.
It takes a bit of time to make herself look presentable.
She can only use getting freshened up as an excuse to avoid Res6 for so long.
Especially now that Tommy has likely shared his triumph about getting her in the shower.
She’s going to have to face Res6, which means she is going to have to admit, at least to herself, how awful she was to him about his company.
Granted, she didn’t know it was his company when she said those things.
It’s not like she feels any different about it, does she?
No. If people are masking their isolation with glorified sex clones, it is sad. No human should have to live like that. If only she could show people.
Throwing her hair in a quick braid and securing it with a piece of cloth she tore from Res6’s soon-to-be-discarded shirt, she gives herself a once-over in the mirror. Much better.
An idea hits her. Tommy said he believed his non-deities were resurrecting people like her to shake things up. Maybe that’s exactly what she’ll do. Shaking things up will be her mission. A mission whose success will finally, once and for all, give you the right to exist.
Argh, why does her inner narrator do that? She knows her worth, right? She pictures her stepmother, San Francisco’s own Ask Doctor Janet, frowning. Electra, dear, you are worthy of good things exactly as you are. No amount of money or accomplishment is going to change that.
Sadly, she remembers thinking it isn’t that simple. If she were truly worthy, why did bad things keep happening to her?