35. Hell Motel
HELL MOTEL
CUTTER
The rest of the drive, Kit allows me to keep her hand in mine, and for the first time since Claire uttered the words “we’re pregnant,” the vice grip on my lungs loosens, though the truth about Rocco still sits heavy in my head.
Callan and Claire are the only ones who know I’m not Rocco’s biological dad, but I don’t want secrets between Kitty and me.
I’m going to tell her the truth. But then I’ll lock this information in an impenetrable box and throw it in the ocean. Michael will never know.
Claire’s a conniving bitch, but she loves our son and would do anything to keep him safe.
We scared her today with the reality of what the Carnells would do, and it’s enough to make her carry the secret to her grave.
She agreed to take some time away to visit her aunt out of town until news of the baby blows over and I’ve had a chance to speak to Pres about Kitty and me.
If Pres knew the truth about Claire, fuck knows what he would do about it.
“We’re here,” Monster announces, pulling into the parking lot of a motel.
“Thank fuck,” I grumble, needing to stretch my legs. We’ve been driving nonstop for over three hours.
“Where the fuck are we?” Pushing open the door, I step out into the brisk night air, then offer my hand to help Kitty out, darkness extending out like the ocean around us.
The motel is one story with a reception sign leading to a small glass box and a row of rooms with blue doors numbered one to five. The flashing light glows with the name Hello Motel with the “o” in “hello” blacked out.
That has to be deliberate. Whoever owns or runs this place has a sick sense of humor. We’re going to fit right in.
“Should we be worried?” Kitty asks, shoving her hands in the back pockets of her jeans.
“Depends. Who picked the place, Monster or Rogue?” I tease, gripping Kitty’s shirt and tugging her toward me.
Her arms wrap around my waist, and she rests her head against my chest, enveloping me in her scent.
Damn, hours apart have felt like months.
I don’t know how I’ve been living with small stolen moments until now. I’m never letting her go again.
Monster’s feet crunch over the gravel toward reception, returning a couple of minutes later with two keys.
“Only two rooms available.” He raises a brow, holding the keys from his fingertips.
Snatching one out of his hand with the number four etched into it, I say, “Bagsy,” and drag Kitty toward the room.
“That’s bullshit, and I hate you,” Rogue calls out to my back.
“You know I’ll have to share with Rogue.” Kit chuckles, but she doesn’t pull away. Instead, she shoves me through the door.
“I want privacy to talk first.” And fuck.
“Just talk?” Kitty teases, reading my damn mind.
I palm her ass, my cock throbbing at the look she’s giving me. Her eyes glass over, simmering with lust, and her skin blushes a beautiful deep pink.
Closing the door, I flick on the light and stare at the tiny room. There’s a bed, a bathtub, and a toilet all out in the open, not separated by a wall or anything else, with about four feet of space between the front door and the edge of the bathtub.
“What are we doing here again?” I ask.
“Picking up something for the wedding.” Kitty shrugs, hooking her fingers into the waistband of my jeans. “I can’t believe we’re standing here together right now,” she muses, a flash of pain eclipsing the lust from moments before.
“I’m so sorry about what happened. She didn’t take the news of us splitting well.” I stroke the back of my fingers down her cheek. Hating the tears she’s shed there because of all this shit.
“I can understand that much.” She drops her eyes to her boots.
I brace my hands on her shoulders and dip my knees, trying to draw her eyes. “It’s so fucking different between me and you, Kit,” I breathe. “I have so much I need to explain.”
Raising her eyes to mine she says, “In the car, you said you haven’t slept with her to get her pregnant two months ago. How long has it been?”
This is going to blow her mind.
“You’re going to want to sit down,” I tell her, guiding her a few feet to the bed covered in a yellow, flowery duvet.
The space is small, but it smells and looks clean.
The floor has a beige carpet that divides into cream tiles for the bathroom section.
It’s not the perfect place for this discussion, but at least we have some privacy and reprieve.
“You’re making me nervous, Cutter. I don’t think I can take any more surprises.” She nibbles on a hangnail.
“I told you about what happened with Nicolas and Claire and then Claire witnessing me killing him. Well, what I didn’t tell you is Pres was ready to get rid of Claire.”
She bites her lip, nodding. “It’s horrible but doesn’t shock me.”
Of course it doesn’t. Kit knows our life. She lives it.
“Well before he could make a decision, she told him she was pregnant with my kid.”
“So, you saved her twice without knowing it.” Her body jerks like the thought causes physical pain.
“That’s the thing, though, Kit. I’d never been near her, but she’d been so desperate, I lied for her.”
“Wait—” she stutters, getting to her feet almost knocking me on my ass. “What do you mean you were never with her? As in, never fucked her?” A million expressions filter over her face.
“No, I’ve never fucked her in my life.” There it is. The truth at last.
“I don’t understand.” She moves around the bed and puts her back against the wall farthest away from me, her hands outstretched in front of her, forcing space between us. “What are you saying?”
That’s pain in her voice again.
“I was madly in love with you, Kit, but I couldn’t see a way for us to be together. Your dad didn’t want you with me or any brother, and Callan has always made it clear he didn’t want you with a brother.”
The air crackles around us. Her eyes open and close several times while she processes the information.
“So, you married Claire to keep us apart?” she barks, her body bristling with fury.
“No, not just that. Pres pushed my hand with Claire to keep her under control, and I think it was to punish me for him believing I slept with her and knocked her up.”
“And you never thought to tell me the fucking truth? It nearly killed me when you married her!” she screams, smacking a hand to her chest. “It took me forever to come to terms with you betraying me!”
“I’m so fucking sorry, Kit. I didn’t think I could give you the life you deserved.” I step towards her but halt my approach when she glares at me.
“Why does everyone think they get a say in my choices and what’s best for me or what I deserve? I don’t fucking believe this.”
Breathing heavily, she braces her hands on her knees and dips her head. “What about Rocco? He’s not yours?”
“He is mine, just not biologically.”
“Oh my fucking god.” She wheezes, almost hyperventilating.
“I can’t have kids, Kit,” I blurt, admitting to one of the things that has always burdened me when it comes to her. My heart stampedes at the confession.
Looking up at me through thick, wet lashes, she says, “You don’t want them or can’t physically have them?”
Boom. Boom. Boom. I rub at my chest to stop my heart bursting through it.
“I shoot blanks.” I wince. “Have you never wondered why I never use a condom with us?”
Shaking her head she blinks, “I thought you knew I was on the pill,” she says, rising to her full height and leaning against the wall once more.
“I can’t give you a family,” I say, making it clear.
“I hate kids.” She lifts a shoulder. “I’ve never wanted my own, and if I do happen to want them later down the line, we can adopt one that’s out of the shitting themselves stage. I don’t get why this is a big deal.” She kicks off the wall, coming to where I’m frozen to the ground.
Cupping my face, she looks pained and confused. “Did you really think I wouldn’t want you because of something out of your control?”
Well fuck.
“Family is important,” I choke out, placing my hands over hers and resting my head against her forehead.
“We’re a family, Cutter. Me and you. You’re all I’ve ever wanted. Just you.”
Fuck, my chest is going to crack with how intense my heart is thundering. I can’t believe she’s mine—that a woman like her can love a man like me. We found love where it wasn’t supposed to be. Right in front of us. I wasted so many years in fear and self-loathing. I’m not wasting a minute more.
Capturing her lips with mine, I consume everything she is. “I love you,” I say desperately.
“I love you too,” she cries, her hands everywhere, gripping and tugging greedily.
Our need for one another is unquenchable.
“I need to taste you,” she confesses, lowering to her knees.
Nimble fingers tug open my jeans, and my cock springs free, almost hitting her in the face, making her grin like crazy.
I rub the liquid building on the tip with the pad of my thumb and smear it over her bottom lip, mesmerized by her. How the fuck did I get this lucky?
Sucking her lip into her mouth to taste me, she pushes my hand away and wraps her small fingers around my girth.
Flattening her tongue against my head, she licks down the seam in a slow, deliberate tease, then smiles up at me, her eyes dark, expressive.
She rips her shirt over her head and grips her tits, squeezing them against my hard length, encasing it between them and stroking up my shaft.
Her fat, plump lips close over my head as she flicks her tongue wildly.
Pleasure rocks through me as she sucks, slurps, and devours, all the while rubbing her tits over me. Gathering her hair into my fist, I feed her my cock, and she takes it like a good girl, gaining momentum.
My balls draw in tight as heat rises up my spine before my cock pulses its release down her throat and over her lips. She looks up at me through her dark, thick lashes, lapping me up like she can’t get enough.