41. Santiago
Chapter forty-one
Santiago
M y body is weighed down by something and my head is full of cotton. I lick my lips, trying to wet them but my tongue doesn't obey. I feel simultaneously the most drunk and hungover I've ever been. But something in the back of my sluggish brain is telling me something is wrong. It's anxious, scared, and confused. I will my brain to work.
What's the last thing I remember?
I was at Hannah's house...and then I wasn't.
I breathe in through my nose, but smell something sterile - I'm definitely not at Hannah's house anymore. She always burns those scented candles - a different one for each season. Winter is sugar cookies and pine.
Fuck!
I will my heavy eyelids to open and am blinded by painfully bright lights. I will my body to cooperate. If I'm here, something's wrong. Something is very, very wrong.
Suddenly, Matty's blurry face blocks the light, and I struggle to get my eyes to focus.
"Sup, fucker?" Matty greets me, but his smile doesn't reach his eyes.
I try to sit up but my body's not cooperating, I try to turn onto my side to sit up but can't make it all the way.
Matty holds my shoulders to the bed and that's when the pain registers. It's dull, but strong - in my left shoulder and right abs.
"Chill out or they'll drug you again and we need you." Matty whispers, an edge of something in his voice.
My eyes beg him to explain.
He sighs. "You were shot, and Hannah was taken. You managed to save your own life, again, by plugging the bullet holes with tampons - smart move by the way. But you lost a lot of blood and you're in no shape to be fighting anyone or anything."
I die a little on the inside waiting for him to explain more.
He lowers his gaze, and bile rises in my throat. No. No! If they shot me, and took her...
"Rico went to go get her but Santi..."
I swallow.
I know.
The likelihood that either one of them makes it out alive are...not good.
I slam my head back against the pillow and cry. For the first time in my entire adult life, I cry.
The love of my life, the only woman to ever see me for a man, my only hope at a happily-ever-after will die today, if she's not already gone.
I check my heart, and while it's aching, it's not stopped beating, which means she must still be alive. Her and my hearts are so intertwined. mine will surely stop when hers does. Suddenly, the idea of what she'll have to endure before she dies has me bolting upright and vomiting all over the floor.
Matty simply rubs my shoulder before hitting the call button on the bed.
"I know, man. I know." He whispers .
Suddenly, I look up at him with alarm.
"I went and got the kids from school. They're safe at Diego's, thinking they're just having a fun sleepover."
I wipe the back of my mouth before laying my head back down.
The nurse comes in, mumbling something about anesthesia making some patients sick, hands Matty a sick bag for next time and leaves. Of course, she has no idea the love of my life might be getting raped or beaten right now.
I've prayed twice in my entire life. The day my mother tried to end me and now.
I pray that He keeps her safe. I pray He doesn't take her from me. I pray He doesn't make me live in a world that Hannah's no longer a part of. I pray he doesn't orphan three of the best little people I've ever known.
I close my eyes and let the tears simply fall down my temples.
Matty's right. I can barely sit up, let alone leave to find her.
So I cry, and I pray, and I wait for my heart to finally stop beating.