45. Santiago
Chapter forty-five
Santiago
W hen I came to after surgery, Matty's ugly mug was the first thing to grace my blurry vision. I instantly popped up and went to pull the IV from my arm, but Matty stopped me.
"She's alright. We got her."
And with five words I collapsed against the bed, the fight completely gone. I knew there had to be more to the story, but she was safe. I'd figure everything else out after.
Matty brought me my phone so I could talk to him, but I let myself wake up a little more. When they shot me and took her all I felt was a cold panic washing over me at what they would do to her. Vitale's a sick fuck, and he wanted our territory. The scenarios that played over and over in my head as I stuffed my bullet wounds and stumbled out into the street made my stomach churn.
Would he use her as ransom? Sell her in his fucking sex trafficking ring? Kill her just to fuck with Rico?
Now as I sit here the regret and self-loathing set in. I failed to protect her from her husband. I failed to protect her from Vitale. And lord knows the twisted fucked up shit he did to her before they got her.
Would I ever stop failing the woman I love? Would I ever do right by her?
A tear escapes my pinched eyes and slides down my temple. My hand shakes wrapped around my phone, but Matty seems to understand .
"They took her to Vitale. He called Rico to organize an exchange, but he was likely just going to kill them both. He attacked her, but she ended up stabbing him in the neck and getting away. Johnson picked her up and took her to the farm. Rico met them there."
"The kids?" I text out.
"I picked them up from school and took them to the farm. They're all alright."
"I failed her."
I look at Matty through watery eyes. I don't care that he sees my vulnerability. I don't care that he's seeing me cry. My heart feels flayed open. Knowing I failed Hannah hurt worse than my own mother's betrayal. At least then I could blame her for her actions. Right now, I can only blame myself.
"You took out two before taking two bullets for her. Do you really see that as failing her?"
I don't respond.
"All three of us had the responsibility to keep her safe. We underestimated Vitale."
"Are you worried she'll think you failed her?"
I close my eyes as more tears leak out of them. Am I worried she won't want me anymore? That she'll finally see all the ways I'm lacking?
Honestly, no. She loves me. If I had to guess she'd be worried about me. Seeing me take those bullets probably was traumatizing for her.
"They're on their way to the hospital now. Did you really think she'd be able to sleep tonight, not knowing you were okay? Not coming to see you?"
A little sliver of hope pierces my heart. Because if I'm honest with myself, a life without Hannah? A life without her kids in it, isn't one worth living. I fought to survive at sixteen. I fought to survive today. But I can't imagine my life without them in it. I don't want to.
A tissue box appears in front of me and I look up gratefully to Matty.
"Better clean up before she gets here."
A few minutes later the door to my room bursts open, and the love of my life walks through.