Chapter Seven #2
“Let’s race and see who can pick up the most things. Steven, you get the black basket, and I’ll take the white one.”
“I’ll help.” Ruby deposits her items onto the table by the door and snatches up the white basket by my feet. “Let’s make a game of it. I’ll set both baskets on the coffee table, and whoever gets the most toys in their basket wins.”
“Yes!” Steven jumps up and down, pumping his fist into the air. “I win!”
“You haven’t even started yet.” I can’t help but smile at his antics.
“Say go.” His eyes dance with excitement.
“Go!”
As they race around the room, snatching up teddy bears, cars, and blocks, I fold the blanket we used for our picnic and take our empty plates to the kitchen while they speed through, tossing things at the baskets. It’s rare when one of them makes it on the first try.
Steven is a lot of work, but he makes my quiet everyday life a lot more interesting. When he leaves in the morning, the apartment will be lifeless and boring. Someday, I’ll have a husband and children. A place to call my own rather than an apartment. Warmth. Fun. Partnership. Us against the world.
Maybe. What if it doesn’t happen? What if I never meet anyone that I want to spend the rest of my life with? A hollow ache gnaws its way into my stomach.
Should I get a puppy? I frown. A kitten?
Steven stands in front of the black basket, grinning. “I win.”
“Yes, buddy, you win.” I stride across the room, lift him up until his legs wrap around my waist, and blow a raspberry on his neck. He smells like sweat, shampoo, and peanut butter.
“You cheated.” Ruby braces her hands on her hips and gives Steven an exasperated look.
“Did not.” Steven laughs as Ruby rolls her eyes.
“Let’s get you some of that ice cream that Ruby brought before it’s time for–” Shit. Don’t say bed. Sleeping is not one of his favorite things. If I had to guess, he spent too much time alone, aching for someone to come along and put him to sleep.
Forty-five minutes later, Steven snuggles his face into my neck as I inhale the scent of baby shampoo mixed with toothpaste and lotion. The combination eases the tension from the day.
As much work as this rambunctious kid is, his snuggles make up for it.
He sighs as his weight shifts into me. The poor boy has been through a lot, and I hope living with Josephine soothes his restless soul.
In the past year, he’s already come a long way from the child who threw and broke everything he was given and kicked and screamed while stomping when told no.
I rub his back in circles as I rock in the recliner. If Ruby wasn’t there, I’d sing to him, but I only sing in front of people during karaoke. After drinking. And then, it’s still bad.
“Is he asleep?” Ruby waltzes from the kitchen with a plate of triple chocolate cake in one hand and a glass of milk in the other.
“Oh, my God.” Tears sting my eyes. “You should’ve told me sooner that you had Jolie’s Triple Chocolate Cake. I was moments away from getting a piece when we got a call. I’ll put him down.”
Steven stirs as I stand but instantly eases back into me. The first time I watched him, I had to rock him for three hours before he went to sleep. I almost pulled my hair out in frustration. Tonight, it was less than twenty minutes.
Once he’s settled into the toddler bed with the monster truck blanket tucked up to his neck, I return to the living room to find Ruby seated sideways on the sofa with one leg bent and tucked under the other and a plate in her hand.
She slides a fork out of her mouth and grins. “This stuff is heavenly.” She licks her lips while juggling the second plate of cake, topped off with a scoop of ice cream, and hands it to me.
I drop onto the sofa while being careful not to toss the contents of my plate onto the cushions. “Thank you for coming over. Between work, dealing with mom’s anxiety for her upcoming surgery, and Steven, I’ve barely had time to go to the bathroom.”
“How’s your mom doing?”
I inhale the scent of cocoa powder, vanilla, and chocolate while closing my eyes.
Delicious. My mouth waters as I slice the fork through the frosting and down through the cake, more frosting, and the final layer of cake.
“You know my mom. She’s going crazy at the idea of not being able to cook, clean, and tidy up for three weeks. ”
“That sounds like your mom.”
The second the cake is on my tongue, I moan, “You’re a lifesaver.”
“I don’t know how women do it.” Ruby shakes her head and sets down the half-eaten slice of cake. “Work a full-time job, raise kids, take care of everyone, and still find time to do their hair.”
I laugh and point at my head. “They don’t. I don’t want to guess what’s stuck in my hair from when Steven patted my head earlier. It could be anything from peanut butter to a squished banana.”
“He’s a good kid. I can’t believe how much progress he’s made.
” Her eyes grow serious. “I’m proud of you.
I know Bella and I questioned what you were thinking when you said you were going to get your fostering license.
You work crazy hours, you’re always volunteering to help someone out, and it’s not like your schedule is conducive to dating as it is, but you’re a natural caretaker. ”
“Thank you.” I shrug and slide my fork through the slice of cake, already drooling for another bite.
“It’s a natural extension of what I do at work, and it’s only to help parents who need a break.
Like you said, with a full-time job and living on my own, it’s impossible to take on a full-time placement.
Especially with not being able to find a daycare that would work with me. ”
“We could help. You know that, right?”
“I can’t ask you or Bella to do that.” I shake my head, nixing the idea before she goes on. The last thing I want to do is put someone else out at my expense. “You guys have your own lives to live.”
For several seconds, we eat in a silence that’s only interrupted by the sounds of forks scraping on plates and muffled moans of appreciation.
Ruby wipes her mouth with the back of her hand and licks her teeth. “Am I good?”
“Yep. Perfect.” I wink at her as we both settle into the euphoria of a sugar rush.
“So…. Have you seen him yet?”
I don’t have to ask who she’s talking about. Ruby and Bella have been waiting for this moment since Bella saw Jake and shared the news that he was back for more than a fleeting visit. I’d held out hope that it was a bad dream.
“Yes. Today at the park. He was the officer on call.” I don’t say more because it’s Brookhaven. She’ll know what I’m talking about.
“I’m sorry. For your sake, I wish he’d have stayed away.” Ruby leans forward. “How’s that boy anyway? Mom said he ended up going to the hospital.”
“He’s fine. Mild concussion and a broken arm. His daredevil days are over for a couple of weeks.” I’m not going to pretend he’ll wait until the cast is off to restart climbing on the jungle gym again.
I was there when Jake broke his arm, falling out of the tree in our backyard. He was back in that same tree three weeks later with a signed cast on his arm. My guess is that he lied to Clint in hopes that the kid wouldn’t follow in his reckless footsteps.
Jake even let me add my initials. My brother refused to let me write my entire name. He’d said I’d add a stupid heart above the ‘I’ and make Jake look like a sissy.
“That’s good.” She leans back into the cushions. “I’ve seen Rebecca at the shops in town and spoken to her a few times. She’s quiet.”
“She had plenty to say to Jake today.” I cross my arms over my chest. Shit. I straighten my shoulders and uncross my arms. “Forget I said that.”
“Em, it’s fine. You don’t have to pretend with me.” Her eyes are soft as she pats my arm. “I know you don’t want to have feelings for Jake. I’ve been in your shoes with Xavier, but sometimes, we want things we can’t have.”
“You’re right.” I rest my arm on the back of the sofa and lay my head in my hand.
She waggles her eyebrows. “I still can’t believe he was there to watch you make out with Spencer.” She grins with twinkling eyes. “The friend he brought to town. That’s poetic justice.”
What justice was there? None. He never had feelings for me, so there were no repercussions on his end.
“We didn’t make out. I kissed him because Jake was treating me like a child. Spencer took me home, and that was the end of it.” I shrug one shoulder. Not that the kiss was bad. It just didn’t compare with what Jake did the night prior with Amanda. “And I never saw the guy again.”
I wanted Jake to be all my firsts. But instead, my firsts were all with a bunch of random guys who meant nothing to me.
Well, except orgasms. Those firsts and onlys have been with vibrators.
“I’m sorry you’re going to have to see him all the time. It’s going to make things awkward.”
“It’s fine. I’ll ignore him the best I can, and eventually, seeing him won’t impact me. I’ll treat it like an allergy, where you give yourself small doses of what you’re allergic to until you build up a tolerance, and then it doesn’t bother you anymore. It’s simple.”
“Tell me how that works out because Xavier is at the gym every day that I’m on the schedule, and the little doses of seeing him are not cutting it.”
“It probably doesn’t help that he’s shirtless, sweating, and covered in sexy black ink.”
“Yeah….,” she sighs, “It doesn’t help.”