Chapter Fifty-Three
Jake
What in the fuck is wrong with you? She said she wanted to have sex with you, and you said no. What man in his right mind would turn down that opportunity?
This one. I want something so much more than a quick fuck and to go back to this hot and cold routine.
“I’d love to say I’m only going to say this once.
” I cup her face, inhaling her jasmine and vanilla scent.
It calms me down along with the wary expression on her face.
If she didn’t care, she wouldn’t look like the world was about to end.
“But that’s a lie. If you run, I’ll hunt you down and tell you again.
I’m tired of this back-and-forth game we’re playing. ”
She bites her lips together but doesn’t make a move to throw my hands off and shove me out the door. There’s one point in my favor.
“I’ve missed you every day for over four years. When I stayed with Kaleb that Christmas break, I realized I had feelings for you. That I’d had feelings for you for some time.”
“You told me to leave my own kitchen.” Her eyes flash with anger.
“Because if I didn’t, I’d have had those impossibly tiny shorts ripped off you and your face smashed into your mom’s kitchen island as I grabbed your sweet ass and feasted on your tight little holes until you screamed with never-ending pleasure.
” Her nostrils flare as heat fills her eyes.
There’s point number two. This woman is worth laying it all on the line for. “And Spencer was on his way upstairs.”
“I….” She shakes her head. “That can’t be true. You told me to leave, like you were embarrassed to be seen with me.” A flash of pain crosses her face. “And I listened to your conversation from the stairs.”
My chest aches knowing that I put that expression there.
“I don’t remember what I said, but whatever it was, it was to get Spencer to stop following you around like he was a heat seeking missile and you were his target.
And your brother would’ve lost his shit if I’d chosen to spend the weekend hanging out with you instead of him. ”
“You said I was plain, boring, and a child. That I was going around with my ass hanging out like that’s all it takes to get a guy’s attention.” Her bottom lip quivers. “You said I was pathetic.”
“Baby, that’s never been true.” Jesus, I was a fucking asshole. Bile churns in my gut. How will I ever be able to make this up to her? No wonder she hated my guts.
I stroke her cheekbones with shaking thumbs and inhale. Somehow, I’ll make this right. “I wanted Spencer to stop seeing you as a potential hook up, and I needed time to figure out what I was going to do about Kaleb. I knew he wouldn’t be happy about us being together.”
She places her hand on my chest. “I–”
“Let me finish.”
“Okay.” Her eyes are solemn, but some of the wariness has eased from them.
“I was also afraid if I told you how I felt, you might agree, but it would end as soon as I went back to college. That you’d forget about me. Or even worse, that you’d cheat on me like Amanda did.”
Her eyes flash with renewed anger as she shoves my chest with both hands, knocking me backward. “So, you hooked up with her instead? That’s a bunch of bullshit. You didn’t want me to turn into her, but you went and screwed her? I don’t believe a word you’re saying.”
“You’re the one that chose Spencer after barely knowing him for a few hours.” I bite out the words as my hands ball into fists.
In the haze of my mounting frustration, her words swirl in my head. Hooked up with her? Who? Amanda? What’s she even talking about?
“Whoa….” She slaps her hands on her hips. “Let me get this straight. You spouted mean shit about me, hooked up with Amanda–”
“I didn’t see Amanda that night, and I haven’t been with her since we broke up back in high school.”
She ignores my statement and continues like I didn’t interrupt her. “And then had the nerve to get fucking pissed off because Spencer took me out to eat? I was heartbroken over you choosing Amanda, and he felt sorry for me. And now, you’re going to get pissed off again?”
My head aches from tension as I jerk my hand through my hair. I should be begging for her forgiveness, yet my mouth keeps running. “Yes, you chose Spencer over me, so I have the right to be angry.”
If she hadn’t taken off with Spencer, I might’ve felt vindication over her being heartbroken. But she chose him.
“No, dumbass. I did not. I was hurt, angry, and wanted to punch you in the face. Yes, I kissed him, but that was it. I wanted to throw it in your face that someone found me attractive, but we didn’t hook up.
” She waves her hand in the air dismissively as if she’s done with me.
“It’s not like it made any difference to you. ”
“It didn’t make any difference?” I grab her and haul her against my chest, smashing my lips against hers. Every ounce of my anger and hurt goes into that kiss. Her arms fling around my shoulders as she arches into me and meets me lunge for lunge.
As her hands burrow into my hair, mine rove up and down her back and ass as I try to imprint every curve of her body into memory. It’s pointless to try. She’s already infused into my soul like she’s a living, breathing part of me.
When her leg hooks around me and she grinds on my thigh, what little restraint I had remaining snaps. I walk her backward to the sofa and fall on top of her.
I savor every gasp and moan as they come out of her mouth while cupping her breast. My blood thrums in my veins. More. I need more. I slide my hand under her shirt and skim along her flesh.
Shit. What am I doing? We’re still at the exact same place we were. I pull up and stare into her desire filled eyes. Her chest heaves as I take in the pink of her cheeks and the plump perfection of her lips. Every inch of her is molded perfectly against me.
“I didn’t go see Amanda that night. I know I never said I was going to see her because I’d already turned her down.
If Spencer or Kaleb said it, I don’t remember, but I know I didn’t say it.
I went to my mom’s house that night and we talked for hours about you, and how things would change if I asked you out. ”
She licks her lips. “Your mom hates me.”
“No. She hates that you chose Spencer over me when I finally got up the nerve to go tell you how I felt. And the only reason I was there to see it was because I stopped to get your favorite cake as a peace offering.”
“I didn’t choose Spencer over you.” She swats my side. “I’d never choose him over you. He took me home, went downstairs to hang out with Kaleb, and I never talked to him again.”
I rest my elbow on the cushion beside her and stroke my hand down her face.
“And I’d never choose Amanda over you. Or anyone else.
I’m not going to say I was celibate after I went back to college.
I was angry, so there were several months of pointless hook ups, and then I woke up and realized I wasn’t going to find what I was looking for with meaningless sex.
So, I stopped. I told you the truth when I said I haven’t been with anyone in nearly three years. I haven’t.”
She runs her hand over the stubble on my cheek. I lean into her touch as a part of the hurt from the past shatters and falls away.
It all finally makes sense. The full version of the night in the kitchen pushes forward, past all the anger and feelings of betrayal I experienced.
She was looking at me like I hung the moon, and my ability to resist her was gone.
Just like this moment. Right now. But I couldn’t see straight because my stupid pride was in the way.
Fuck. I’ve wasted so much time. I stare into her eyes, relishing the warmth in them. The acceptance and forgiveness mixed with desire. “I’m sorry I pushed you away that night, but in that second, I was afraid of what I’d do.”
“You really bought me cake?”
“Yes, your favorite kind. Triple chocolate cake.”
Her eyes blaze as she remembers the second time I bought her cake. And the delicious way I served it to her.
When her leg brushes along mine, she arches into me and smiles. “Exactly what did you want to do to me that night?”
“Do you think your mom would mind if we snuck over to her house and I showed you?”
Her laughter eases the last coil of anger in my gut. “Probably.” She winks saucily. “Luckily, I have an island.” Her face grows serious. “I’m sorry I kissed Spencer. You were the one I wanted to be with. Not him. I’m sorry I–”
“Let’s not dwell in what could’ve been.” I place my finger against her lips. “But I don’t want to have sex with you.”
“Come again?” Her eyes narrow into slits, causing me to smile. I love her feisty side.
Oh, I plan to come again. I rock into her, giving her a faint hint of what’s to come but not until everything is out in the open.
After I give her lips a quick kiss, I cock my head sideways. “I want to fuck you like a broken screen door, but I want so much more than that from you. I want to date you. I want a relationship with you. I want you to spend every night in my arms.”
“Shit.” She scrambles upright and out from under me, knocking over the bag that’s beside her head.
One of those newborn outfits with the snaps in the crotch falls into the sofa beside her. My heart drops to my feet. The entire end of the sofa is littered with baby stuff.
A cold sweat breaks out on my forehead. She said she hadn’t been with anyone in years. I fling upright to a seated position. There’s no way she could know she’s pregnant already. Is there?
A father? Holy hell. I swipe my hands on my jeans as she rubs the back of her neck. “Um…. Is there something you’re not telling me?”