Chapter Sixteen
Spencer
All fucking day I’ve had wall to wall pointless meetings. Nothing seems to have gone the way I want ever since I left home on Monday morning.
I’m in Dubai again, tying up the loose ends of the deal I negotiated last week.
At least, my marriage is looking a little brighter. I’m well aware that we have a long road to travel, but my rushed confession the other day seems to have helped take an immense weight off my shoulders.
Carlo told me repeatedly for weeks to speak to Sophie about Kalie. My life was spiraling out of control; it hasn’t stopped spinning, but hopefully the pace has decreased a little.
Now somehow, I just need to learn to accept who I am, and what I need, because it seems the people who love me the most accepted it years ago.
I’ve had to cancel my appointment with Dr. Klein this week, delaying it until next Tuesday. It’s not ideal, but this deal is too lucrative to lose.
I crawl into bed, having drunk far more than I usually would. At least I’m alone.
After my dinner meeting, I sloped into the bar rather than returning to my room, to celebrate securing the biggest deal in my life. The acquisition of another hotel chain, but this one has hotels all around the world.
Tomorrow morning, I’ll regret my drinking binge, but before going to bed tonight I was certain I wouldn’t get to sleep without some chemical assistance.
My phone rings with Carlo’s ringtone. It’s set to ‘Do not Disturb’, but both Carlo and Sophie are always exceptions to that rule.
“Hey, what’s up?”
My voice is unusually deep, probably because of the booze.
“Sorry, Compagno, I didn’t realize you’d be sleeping. We can speak tomorrow if you’d prefer.”
“No, it’s fine. I’m awake. I just got into bed.”
“Sophie said you were in Dubai.”
His mentioning my wife’s name makes me sit up.
“You’ve been speaking to Sophie?” I demand, desperate to ask if she’s okay.
“Yeah. I’m at your house. I hope you don’t mind.
After I left Sunday night, I was called to sort something out at the London hotel.
After that, I thought I’d extend my stay.
It’s been a long time since I’ve spent quality time with Lily and Sophie, and after everything that’s happened recently, I thought it best Sophie had backup. ”
My heart sinks thinking about the sadness I’ve brought into what should be a happy home. Overwhelmed with grief, my chest contracts, making it difficult to inhale a complete breath.
Carlo often used to stay with Sophie when I went away, but that was before. When we were all in a relationship together.
Since Lily’s birth, as far as I’m aware, their relationship has been more distant. I’m aware they chat through social media, and Sophie often sends Carlo cute photos of our daughter, but I don’t think they speak regularly. Carlo hasn’t visited the house unless I’m there.
Our conversation on Friday echoes through my mind. He was very forceful in his belief that I should speak to Sophie, insistent that I tell her what had been going on.
“You fucking two-faced bastard!” I growl. “What have you told her?”
“Don’t you dare accuse me; you’re an arrogant asshole. I didn’t tell Sophie anything. And I’m insulted that you’re even suggesting it.”
The venom in his tone stings. I slam my eyes shut, trying to stop them from burning with emotion.
“We talked, but it was hard this weekend with you and Lily there. Then, this morning, I had to leave for my flight at four. When I get back, I’m planning to take some time off, or maybe I’ll work from home to spend quality time with her.”
“Halleluiah!” he snaps, no doubt still stinging from my earlier comment.
“You’ve never been so close to losing everything you love, Spence.
That woman adores you. She puts up with all your shit and has done for years.
You’ll be a fucking fool to lose her and Lily, but I’ve warned you and warned you, I can’t do this anymore. ”
A tear escapes from my eye, and drips down onto my pillow. I hate arguing with Carlo.
“Can I speak to her?” I ask, my voice weak.
“No, she’s gone to bed.” His words clipped. “Sort yourself out, Spencer. If you can’t stop what you’re doing in that fucking club, let her go. Let Sophie find someone who’ll love her and give her the life she deserves.”
A spark of anger flares through me.
“Like you, you mean?” The drink is fueling my resentment. “Sophie pushed you away the minute she found out she was pregnant. I don’t understand why you’re being so forgiving.”
“She had her reasons.”
I’m just about to say something else, but I can tell from the tone of his voice he hasn’t finished, so I wait for him to continue.
“She didn’t know which of us was Lily’s father, Spence,” he hisses through gritted teeth.
That revelation steals the breath from my lungs. The booze I’ve consumed tonight fogs my logical thoughts.
“Lily could be yours?” I ask, my whole world crumbling.
“For fuck’s sake, Spencer, how much have you had to drink?”
Aware his question is rhetorical; I let him finish.
“Have you looked at your daughter recently? She’s the perfect blend of you and Sophie. The point is, Sophie wasn’t certain for several weeks during her pregnancy. She didn’t want to tell you because she knew it would break you.”
I lean back on the headrest, my mind buzzing with noise.
Fuck. I didn’t think it was possible to hate myself more for what I’d done to her.
After my night-time call with Carlo, it was impossible for me to stay in Dubai as I’d intended.
Before seeing Sophie again, I need to make inroads in resolving some of these issues in my life, so that I can go home with some positive progress. Once I’ve cut out the shit, I’ll be able to commit to her entirely.
With my flight booked, I call Carlo to apologize for the way I spoke to him. When he answers, I can tell he’s speaking through clenched teeth.
“I realize I’m not in the best position to do this, but I need to ask you a favor.”
“What?” he demands, the tightness in his tone screaming how furious he is with me.
“Well, actually, two favors.”
“You’re pushing your fucking luck, Spence.”
“Will you take care of her for me for a while? Whatever way she needs, I know you love her; just don’t let her leave. I’ll sort all this shit out, but it’s going to take some time to get my head straight,” I admit.
“That’s a given. Why do you think I came back here? She’s devastated and needs some support. She’s been feeling isolated.”
Another shot to the heart; she shouldn’t need any of these things from him. I’m her husband. I want her to rely on me. That she can’t even ask me hurts like hell.
He continues, “I’ll do my best, Spence, but I’m unsure how long I can hold this together.”
“Tell her I love her every day. Show her you love her.”
“Are you asking me to have sex with her?” he demands.
Jealousy grips the muscles in my stomach. No, not unless I’m there, but I’m astute enough to be sure now wasn’t the time for my selfishness. I repeat my former mantra, ‘Carlo will never hurt her.’
“If that’s what you both want,” I choke out.
“Would you like me to remind her what a real man feels like?”
I roll my eyes at his cocky response and swallow down my defensive reply.
That was easier than I expected, but my next question won’t be. No matter how I look at this, the same answers keep popping into my mind; I need to reduce my temptations.
The simplest route to that is selling my shares in Locked. Travis is going to be seriously pissed at me, and he can’t afford to buy me out. However, last night, after our phone call, I had an epiphany: convince Carlo to take over the club.
Money isn’t an issue. Carlo’s loaded. His father, Alonso, is forever stuffing more money into an offshore account for him; Alonso never seems to get the message that money won’t buy his son’s affections.
If I can convince him to invest, my next goal will be to persuade him to move back to the UK permanently.
Travis went to school with Carlo and me; hence, they know each other well. Plus, with Carlo’s experience in hospitality, he’ll be the perfect partner for Travis; who needs someone steady to keep him grounded.
“I’ve got a business proposition for you.”
“Hmm, don’t tell me. Let me guess . . .” He pauses for a few seconds while my heart pounds a tattoo into my chest. “You’re hoping I’ll buy you out of Locked?”
“How well you know me,” I say sarcastically.
“You’re not as complex as you think, Compagno,” he says in his familiar flippant manner.
“Well?”
His knowing sigh suggests he’s already hooked.
“I’ve been trying to convince myself to make the offer since Friday night.
That place is fucking kryptonite to you.
” Hope warms my heart. “The thing is, if Travis and I still own it, isn’t it still too close?
Wouldn’t it make more sense to sell to this Italian who keeps tapping you guys up?
Make a tidy profit and get out altogether. ”
I cast my eyes around my luxurious hotel room. Carlo’s got a point, but my solution would be quicker.
“Travis would never go for it. Besides, I have some self-control.”
He laughs darkly. “You’ve certainly done a good job of staying away from me for the last few years.”
My throat is constricted.
“You know why,” I huff.
“No, I don’t,” he whispers. “I miss you. Friday night showed how perfect we are together.”
“Carlo, don’t do this to me. I can’t—” I rub my hand over the tension in my neck that seems to be my constant companion. “You know Sophie’s opinion on it.”
“She isn’t against our relationship. Stop with the fucking smokescreens and talk to your wife.”
“For her to have said what she said, she must have thought it.”
“Really, after three and a half years you’re still bringing this up? Is this not more likely to be about the fact that you’re missing us?”
“Full of yourself much?” I spit.
“We’ve gone over this. Don’t give me your shit, Spencer,” he hisses.
I slump back, stunned.
“Sorry to break it to you, sweetheart,” my tone drips with sarcasm, “but you have nothing to do with this.”
“Really?” he challenges me. “You’ll be up for a night out again when you’re back then. Just the two of us.”
“You’re supposed to be helping me sort out my marriage—”
“I am,” he states with adamant determination. Then his voice drops, softening. “You get restless when we haven’t been together for a long time, don’t you?”
I hum.
“Feel an itch that you can’t scratch?”
I swallow, refusing to make a sound.
“If you want me to do this, that is my price. One more night, and if you genuinely don’t feel better afterward, I’ll never mention it again.”
“I have little choice, do I?”
“You always have a choice. I love you, Compagno. I’d never ask you to do anything you weren’t comfortable with, but . . .” His tone is like treacle. “I’ve seen the way you watch my cock sinking into the women we fuck. I know you want it, just like I want you.”
My dick hardens with the visual he creates.
“You’re hard now, aren’t you? I bet you wish I were there to suck your fat cock.”
“You’re a bastard,” I whisper.
“A bastard who has a cock as hard as rock and who is alone in a house with your horny as fuck wife,” he drawls.
“What are you going to do?” I murmur, squeezing my dick through my trousers.
“First, I’m going to lick her clean, and then make her dirty. I’m going to fill every hole with my cum, and by the time we pick up Lily from school, she’ll be so fucking sore.”
His smug grin beams down the phone line.
“I hate you,” I spit, but he knows it’s only hot air.
I tap the red button, to cancel our call, my cock is throbbing in my trousers. I glance at my watch. I’ve got fifteen minutes before I need to leave.
This needs to be quick. I yank off my clothes and stride to the bathroom, my heavy dick desperate for attention.