Chapter 62 Daisy
My moods had been all over the place since Jim left, but they were uncontrollable now.
I was actually crying at the drop of a hat.
I couldn’t mentally or physically control myself anymore.
I had put it down to missing Jim, until the nausea started.
The pregnancy test two days ago confirmed it.
Now, I was driving down the highway, trying not to be pessimistic.
Time was running out on this divorce, the first hearing in just two weeks, and life had thrown a whole bag full of wrenches in the works.
I didn’t have a plan for when I saw Jim. I had a bag of clothes, and hope. Hope that Jim would stay true to his words, that he was mine. I was definitely his and more now.
I pulled into the clubhouse parking lot, and paused, gathering my courage. I looked at the array of bikes parked in front of the doors. I recognized Jim’s grandfather’s bike, and Blaze’s, and Tinker’s on the far left with a cover over it, to protect it like the baby it was to him.
I sucked in a deep breath to brace myself, before opening the door and stepping out of the car.
A wave of nausea hit me and I had to bend over and vomit near the back wheel.
I grimaced as I saw the residue on the tire, and leaned back against the door of my car.
Fuck, I was scared shitless. I kept comparing my pregnancies and praying for differences.
I didn’t want to lose this one like I had Baby James.
My hand curled protectively across my belly. At this early stage, I knew I wasn’t showing…But the fear was there. I huffed out a breath and wiped my mouth.
“Strength, courage. He calls you his queen, so act like it,” I muttered to motivate myself to take that first step towards the clubhouse. Then the next step. Soon, I had walked all the way to the clubhouse door, with only one pit stop to empty my stomach out again.
I paused before the door and listened to the commotion inside, then I creaked it open and tried to sneak inside.
My eyes found Jim immediately. He was perched on the edge of the table, beer in hand, chatting to the people around him.
His grey eyes snapped to me, and I watched his face gleam with joy, then his eyes squint with concern and suspicion.
He slowly stood up, maintaining eye contact with me.
I felt my nausea rising again, along with my heartbeat.
My pulse pounded in my ears. Anger darkened his face, and I had to slap my hand across my mouth before I vomited again.
I shouldn’t have come. He was a brother first, and I was going to be one of those girls who ripped apart a family because I couldn’t keep my legs together.
I could hear my mother…my former mother’s voice in my head, screeching about patch-chasers, women who baby-trapped their men into a kutte.
I took a step back and scrambled with my fingers for the door.
“Daisy!” A big grin underneath a pair of yellow eyes blocked my view of Jim. I couldn’t stop it. I vomited on Blaze.
The look on his face was priceless. He looked down at his vomit-covered chest in horror.
“What the fuck, Daiz?” He finally looked at me. “What’s going on?”
I looked over his shoulder at Jim storming up, flanked by Bull and Bear, Jim’s hands clenched by his sides.
Here goes nothing. “I’m pregnant,” I blurted out the announcement.
Jim’s face stiffened in shock, and my heart dropped, feeling like it was turning into lead.
Then his eyes started to crinkle at the edges, and they softened.
His lips curled up slightly as his mouth opened, and his whole face started to glow.
I watched his mouth form words as he glanced at the ground, and then back to me, his eyes reflecting the hope that I was clinging onto.
“Daisy!” Blaze grabbed my arm. “Are you listening to me?”
I shook my head slightly and turned my attention to him.
“What?” I asked weakly.
He huffed and dropped his hand, then took a step away from me, rubbing his hair in frustration.
“Fuck, Fuck!” He glared at me. “This is payback, isn’t it? I had a kid with someone else, so you’re going to do the same!”
“Blaze,” Bull’s voice rumbled in warning. My eyes kept returning to Jim and his soft smile. His eyes were twinkling now. Blaze’s voice was ranting in the background.
I leaned myself against the doorframe and held Jim’s gaze. His smile grew. I smiled back. He grinned.
“What the fuck are you smiling about? You think it’s funny bringing an illegitimate child into our marriage?” Blaze erupted.
My eyes snapped to him. “What marriage? I’ve filed for divorce. Our hearing is in two weeks. Didn’t you get the summons?” I couldn’t believe he was still in denial, but he was. “We’re getting divorced,” I stated. It was inevitable. He couldn’t stop it, no matter what he did, or even didn’t do.
“Then why the hell did you come and tell me you were pregnant?” Blaze roared.
I looked at him and laughed. “I didn’t. I came to tell Jim…Midwife.”
Blaze frowned, stunned into stopping his tantrum. “Why?” he breathed the word that looked to be on everyone’s lips.
Jim whooped and jumped forward to grab me. His lips met mine in a fierce, triumphant kiss. Then he held my head as he asked the question he wanted to know.
“Really?”
I nodded, my eyes welling up with happy tears. His grin lit up his face. He burst into laughter and rushed to pick me up, holding me tight to his chest.
“Oh, My Queen.” Jim was ecstatic. I don’t know why I was so worried. He wanted the baby. “I’m going to be a Dad!” he roared, taking steps away from the door, and then spinning me around. I laughed as well, feeding off his excitement.
There was a wall of noise surrounding us. Cheers, and hoots. It was happily overwhelming. Jim stopped spinning and let my feet touch the floor. He still kept a firm grip on me, and bent over to rest his forehead on mine, creating a little vibe of serenity in the chaos.
“How are you feeling?” he purred.
“Better, much better now that I’m with you.” I realized as I said the words that they were absolutely true. I didn’t feel nauseous anymore. I just felt elated.
“Stay down!” Bull roared at someone. “You had your chance with her, and you fucked it up. She’s chosen him.”
“How long have you known?” Jim asked me, his breath brushing over my chin. I closed my eyes and tilted my head up to meet his lips.
“Yesterday,” I murmured. “I came straight down.” I felt his lips curve into another smile.
His body shook from a clap on his back. He steadied with the movement, not letting it knock him or me off our feet.
“A Toast!!” Crackers’ voice cut through the roar. Jim lifted his head and tucked me under his arm as he looked to where the old chef was standing on his bar counter. Crackers held a beer high, his crazy eyes gleaming.
“To Daisy and Midwife. Welcome back, and congratulations! At least this Fucker doesn’t fuck around.” The silence that followed his first words ended in a wall of sound. Jim bent down to kiss me again.
Crackers climbed down from his bar and walked his way over to put an arm around my shoulders. “I’m proud of you, little girl. You done good.” He paused, then hesitantly asked, “You coming back for good?”
I looked up at Jim and replied quietly, “I think I’ll have to. Jim is settled here, and I’ve never really been settled up there. Besides, my family is here.”
A flash of something crossed his face, sadness, resignation. I wasn’t sure because I was distracted.
My egg donor was fighting her way through the crowd of people around us.
People seemed to be getting in her way, but she was determined to get to me.
I dodged behind Jim as she got closer. Jim must have glanced over and realized the situation, so he grew bigger, if it were at all possible.
He stood taller and just flexed. My mouth filled with desire.
“Molly, stop,” he ordered. “What are you doing here?”
“My baby is having a baby.” She smiled slyly up at Jim.
I was a little surprised at how nice she was being.
I thought she might rage and demand that I patch things up with Blaze now that we’d be ‘even.’ I guessed she’d done the calculations and worked out that Jim was a step up in the club hierarchy. She was trying to schmooze.
Jim’s muscles tensed even further. “You’re not her mother,” he spat out. Her eyes widened in surprise. “A mother doesn’t accuse her daughter of killing her own baby.” Jim’s voice was full of venom.
“I-I never,” Molly spluttered.
I stepped out from behind my man. “You couldn’t keep your son alive,” I droned. “That’s what you told me after Dad’s funeral.”
“I didn’t mean it like that!”
“How did you mean it then?”
Everyone was watching Molly. The silence was so profound that you could almost hear people’s heartbeats. Her eyes dropped to the ground.
I crept around to stand in front of Jim. “Are you proud of me?” I asked.
Molly’s head jerked up. The question probably came out of nowhere for her, but it was a lifeline, something that mothers did.
“Of course!” she said with fake brightness.
“What for?”
She looked shocked at my follow-up question. Jim tightened his arms around my middle.
“What, in particular, are you proud of me for?” I asked.
Molly cast her eyes around for a lifeline from anyone.
Horse gave a low chuckle. It sounded evil. “You have no idea what your own daughter has done in the past four years, do you?” He shifted in his seat, glowering at Molly.
“You’re not my mother anymore, Molly. You’re just the woman who gave birth to me,” I told her clearly. “Leave me alone.”
Jim made a sound that was almost a purr. It traveled from his chest, into my back. I felt his breath against my ear.
“C’mon Baby, let’s find some space for ourselves.”