Chapter Ten - Rachel
CHAPTER TEN
Rachel
“I’m going to kill him,” Elli practically shouts from the other end of the phone, and I turn down the volume so the people shopping around me can’t hear her.
“I swear he treats me like a child sometimes. He acts like it wasn’t his idea to make me a capo in the first place, then gets all overprotective and doesn’t let me do anything.
Ryder never would’ve let Joshua act like this if he were here. ”
Elise Consoli and I became fast friends, but I guess that’s to be expected when we’re the only women associated with the Moreno family’s boss and—former—underboss.
We call each other every few days, and most of those calls—if not all—feature a rant in which Elli relates her latest fight with Moreno.
If I hadn’t watched them together myself and seen what an undeniably perfect match they are, I’d tell her to drop him.
I lived with Moreno for most of my pregnancy, and though seeing him was a rarity, it was more than enough time to grasp that he’s not an easygoing person.
He’s controlling, hard-headed, and ruthless.
I never imagined he’d find someone willing to put up with his crap, but it turns out he just needed someone to call him on it.
Enter Elise.
“It’s embarrassing, too, especially since Damon moved in with us.”
“That’s one of your brothers, right?” I don’t know the Consoli brothers very well, though I technically met all three in Los Angeles a few weeks ago.
Elli makes an affirmative sound. “He’s the oldest. He just finished rehab and wanted to take some time away from the business, so I offered to have him stay with Joshua and me.”
“I’ll bet Moreno just loved that.”
“Shockingly enough, they actually get along. He’d kill me if he heard me say this, but I think he needs a friend since… well, you know.”
Since Ryder was banished.
Right.
I backtrack to avoid that uncomfortable topic.
“Well, you can’t blame him for being protective, especially after everything that’s happened. You’re only a few weeks into the job. Give it some time, and I’m sure he’ll loosen up.”
“You’re right. Though…” There’s a thoughtful pause. “I’ll bet I could speed up the loosening process.”
“Keep it to yourself, Elli,” I chastise through my laugh.
“Speaking of loosening up, how are you settling into the new place with Ryder?”
I stroll along an aisle of the grocery store, getting halfway down it before realizing I don’t need anything in this section. When did I even get to this side of the store?
I have no idea if the nervous energy comes from the dinner plans with my parents tonight or the fact that said dinner will force me to be in close proximity to Ryder—who I’ve avoided fairly well since he moved in.
Is avoiding my daughter’s father the most mature way of dealing with the current situation?
No. But it’s the best I can do to ensure I keep my sanity—and heart—intact.
“They’re going… okay, I guess.”
“So, not well?”
“It isn’t that, though you were right about his reaction to the pool house. He wasn’t happy, but he’s not pushing it. I think he realizes it’s best for Lyla.”
“Are you sure Lyla’s the only reason?”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know,” she drawls. “Maybe the fact that you want each other?”
The can of green beans slips from my hands, and I barely catch it before it smashes my foot. “It’s not like that,” I say, and realize too late how defensive it sounded. “It’s complicated.”
“How could it be complicated? You want him. He wants you. You’re living together indefinitely and have a child together. Am I missing something? I don’t see why you haven’t jumped each other’s bones yet.”
Suddenly, I’m hit with memories of when we did just that.
It’s been years, but I can imagine it as vividly as if it were happening now.
His warm, minty breath caresses my skin.
His big hands grip my hips with a possessiveness that makes my knees weak.
His dark eyes roam my body with enough intensity to make me go up in flames.
No, no, no. I’m not doing this right now.
“You said it yourself. He’s here indefinitely, not permanently.”
That seems to have stumped her, so she goes for a new tactic. “Well, you could always move to LA when he comes back.”
“That’s not happening. My family is here, my life is here, and my daughter’s life is here. She needs consistency more than anything. I can’t just pick up and move her with the hope that things work out with her father and me.”
“But you admit that you hope things work out?”
“You’re incorrigible,” I say, scanning the items in my cart to ensure I have everything before heading to checkout.
“I just care about you both and want you to be happy.”
“I am happy. Things are fine as they are. Ryder and I aren’t meant for anything more than co-parenting.”
“Hmm. We’ll just have to agree to disagree.”
We hang up after she tells me about how Moreno and Damon ganged up on her in a game called Kemps, and I’m walking out of the store when the same sickening sense of anxiety that I felt after Lyla’s appointment hits me again.
It doesn’t shudder down my spine this time, but rather, it sits like a ball of dread in the very pit of my stomach.
I release the cart that I’m pushing to grab my phone and clutch the heart-shaped charm around my neck.
They’re coming for you, that cruel voice hisses, and they won’t let you go this time.
My heart pounds like it can bust my chest open, and I scan my surroundings with vigilant eyes.
I feel only marginally better by the fact that this is a busy parking lot.
No one could attack me in broad daylight without a half-dozen people noticing, but that logic doesn’t make the feeling go away.
If anything, it grows more intense when I find no source for such a strong reaction.
I clutch my phone tighter and wonder who I would even call if something went wrong.
I could call my parents or Meredith, but I get the feeling that only one person would really be able to do something if I was attacked.
And that thought gives me pause.
Is Ryder having me followed?
It wouldn’t be the craziest thing he’s ever done, but doing it without telling me would be infuriating. He knows I’d hate having some shadow following my every move, which could be why he’s kept it a secret from me.
With that all-too-likely thought, I slip my phone back into my pocket and load up my groceries.
Bill and Lynette are the most supportive parents on the planet. This was great when I came home pregnant from a man I barely knew at twenty-two years old and when I decided to move to LA with that man.
This was less great, however, when they fell in love with Ryder to the point of deciding that I was an idiot for not, in their words, taking what was being handed to me.
Any wariness my parents might’ve harbored for the stranger fathering their grandchild was wiped away when they discovered the level of luxury Ryder lived in and could provide for Lyla and me.
It also helped that, for Christmas two years ago, he bought them a house in a neighborhood they could’ve only dreamed of living in before.
I also suspect—though he’s never admitted to it—that Ryder was responsible for the mysterious buyer that bought out their landscaping company.
The buyer requested that they still run it and gave them the means to hire enough employees to have a manageable schedule and a hope of developing a relationship with their only grandchild.
They don’t understand why I won’t marry him, and since I can’t tell them the real reason, I figure it’s better for them to make me the bad guy than to worry that Lyla’s father is.
Because Ryder isn’t a bad guy or even a bad father—he’s just bad for me.
Regardless, my parents love him like he’s their own. I realize this is a better alternative to them hating him, but it still gets annoying.
Like now, when Lyla, Ryder, and I walk into their house, they hug the former two before even looking in my direction.
“Ryder! You’re looking healthy! What’s your diet like these days?” my mother coos after placing a kiss on both of his cheeks.
“Complete garbage compared to one of your home-cooked meals,” he answers with a charming grin that makes me want to gag.
Kiss ass.
My father pulls Ryder in for a hug next. “How’s the real estate business, son?”
Oh, yes, real estate. The cover for Ryder’s criminal activity.
“It’s going great. Our company recently acquired some land in Texas that has shown a lot of promise.”
“That’s my boy,” my dad says, and I wonder if he’d sound so proud if he knew that land was actually going to be another base for a mafia empire.
“Nice to see you, too,” I mutter when my parents finally look my way.
Mom picks Lyla up and places several kisses on her cheek. “Of course, it’s great to see you, sweetie,” she says to me. “But it’s not often that we get to see Ryder. How long has it been since we last saw you?”
“Easter,” Ryder answers, a wide, pleasant smile plastered to his face. “You’ll have to forgive me for not visiting sooner. Things at work have been particularly crazy the last few months.”
Dad claps him on the back. “You know we’re always happy to have you.”
My parents take Lyla into the living room, and Ryder and I trail behind.
Ryder gestures to my face as his eyebrows pull together. “You okay? You’re looking a little green.”
I shove him with my shoulder, though it’s more like hitting a brick wall.
He laughs as I push my way in front of him to help Mom in the kitchen.
Over dinner, my father asks Lyla questions about what she’s been up to lately, but she starts to get shy and quiet—a sign that we all understand means she’s getting overwhelmed—so he turns his questions to Ryder.
Dad tries to impress Ryder with whatever recent articles he’s read on the real estate business—mixing in his own expertise with landscaping—and Ryder does a fairly good job keeping up with him despite the fact that we both know he has absolutely no knowledge on the topic.