Chapter Three
Mason
A lot is on my mind as I walk from my office. It’s been an exceptionally long day, but all of my work days go long into the night. I like it this way. I’m not in the best mood; I had to endure a two-minute call from a two-week-long affair. I gave her the courtesy of yelling at me for a full minute — fifty seconds longer than I’d allow most. She pleased me in bed. I can give her a full minute.
I’ll never claim to be a perfect man. Who of us can? I wouldn’t think too many. It’s easy to paint a picture in black and white, but life’s full of color. Just because we all do things differently, doesn’t make those actions right or wrong. It makes us unique, it makes us human.
I try not to judge others. I’m imperfect though, so I fail at this task often. I want to be a person with more empathy, compassion, selflessness. I’m not. I’ve also changed a lot in my thirty-five years. I think I’ve actually come full circle if I’m being honest, which I take pride in being. There was a time I thought the moon rose and fell on me... then life had a way of humbling me.
Even as I have this thought I can’t help but smile. Humility is overrated. I much prefer to know who I am, and in my mind, there’s no doubt this world is a better place with me in it. That might make you think I’m arrogant. No, it’s simply a reality. The world’s full of winners and losers. I might have thought for a time I was in the second category. That might be the reason why my life went in a direction I wasn’t prepared to take it. At the end of the day it’s my life, though, and I’ll live it how I want.
In the real world lives get broken even when that’s not what we want. The bottom line is we have to be able to crawl into bed at night, close our eyes, then want to open them again. If we can do that, we can successfully say we’re living our lives the best way we can. Most of us only briefly open our blinds to give others a glimpse of ourselves, then shut them again before they get the full picture. That’s part of the mystique, that’s what makes the world spin on its axis.
I’ll give you a brief glimpse of me, but only a peek. I’ve dealt with demons for a very long time. Because of this, I no longer see women like I once did. They fill a need for me, and nothing more. I don’t think this makes me a bad man. I’m honest with my flings. I’m demanding, and I’m hungry, and it takes a lot to quell the beast within me. I know something is broken inside me... but I have no desire to fix it.
Everybody has demons. That’s an undeniable truth. We also all lie... and commit many sins. Are your sins any better or worse than mine? I doubt it. Let’s step through the looking glass and find out...
The door to the elevator is closing, and I step forward, holding out my hand, knowing my life’s about to become a hell of a lot better. Why? Because I’m the master of my own domain. I’m the one who controls the outcomes of what’s about to happen. And I always get what I want.