CHAPTER 35
Silas’s words played on repeat in my head.
I was nothing to him, after everything he still thought so little of me, of my kind.
How his hatred for what I am can override the mate bond is unfathomable to me.
After everything he has done, I found a way to forgive him, to try and see from his point of view.
Yet he couldn’t do the same, everything felt one sided.
I won’t stand in the corner and look pretty.
What am I, an arm ornament? I think not.
I am capable of so much more and I know that now.
After everything, he can’t break me and my will to live now is not just my own, it is for our people.
There is something extremely dangerous when you finally figure out what you’re capable of, what you expect.
There is a truly clear line drawn now for me.
The mate bond made me believe I couldn’t live without them, that they were an attachment to my soul, and they are.
But there is a difference between want and need.
I didn’t need them, I wanted them, but I didn’t need them.
I survived this city for twenty-one years without them, and I know I could live forever without them.
Leaving two options now, they either need to step up or step out.
None of this in between shit, I am not a yoyo to be played with and for once I see clearly, my mind clear for the first time in ages.
This is only the beginning of something that is far bigger than me and I can feel it with every fiber of my being.
Something greater than I ever envisioned my life to become.
Silas is still convinced I need them and will fall in line like a good little submissive mate.
He still believes the bond will force me to comply.
Little did he know, I found myself, found a part of me I was excited to explore.
Like I said, clarity was dangerous, knowing your self-worth was dangerous because now it put an expectation to be met and I wouldn’t let him bring me down, not like he already did.
It is dangerous because you no longer feel the ties that bind you once you realize you don’t need anyone, that you can go it alone.
It is empowering when you realize you don’t need someone to have your back because you have your own.
He showed me what he was capable of, the mate he was capable of being, the King he could be and now I expect nothing less.
So, it makes my next decision easy. I am not going to wait around for him to figure that out anymore.
I am done waiting for people, done letting people decide what I am capable of.
My magic feels stronger than ever, stronger than them.
My ancestors’ voices are now audible, guiding and encouraging me.
But the most important voice of all, one I hear louder than ever now, is my own.
For once I have a voice, and I intend it to be heard at any cost. My mind has never felt so crystal clear, and now, it is telling me to override everything, telling me to give into them.
I am done bowing down, either they let me in to walk alongside them or I walk alone.
“What are you thinking?” Matitus asks, as he walks in while I am getting changed for bed. Turning to look at him he is regarding me carefully.
“What makes you think I am thinking anything?” I ask.
“I don’t know, you keep blocking us out, I feel weird not knowing what you are thinking. You seem different, stronger.”
“That’s because I am Matitus.”
He nods in agreement when Dragus walks in but no Silas. I don’t care, his presence would’ve infuriated me anyway.
Dragus steps past Matitus, his hands instantly going to my hips.
I can’t help the smile that spreads onto my face, his emotions flooding into me, and I welcome them.
They are mine; I was never theirs, yet I am willing to be theirs.
But not unconditionally. I know they will follow me blindly, but if I couldn’t have them all, then they couldn’t have me.
But at this moment, I will let them have that I wanted the same thing, so yes, I would let them have this moment before it goes, and along with it, I would go too.
Turning around, I wrap my arms around his neck, a smile on his lips as I move my face closer to his. I kiss his lips softly. His hand goes to the back of my neck, deepening the kiss. I can feel his fingers moving through my hair as he pulls me flush against him, his need presses against my belly.
Matitus steps closer, his lips going to my neck and down my shoulder.
His hands travel over my skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake.
Dragus groans against my lips and I tug at his shirt, removing it, my fingers moving over the tight muscle of his chest and abdomen.
I love the way his warm skin feels beneath my fingers, love the way I affect them as they do me.
Placing my hand on his chest I push him toward the bed.
His knees hitting the bed making him fall back as I reach for his belt buckle undoing it, and I feel Matitus lifting the silk slip I am wearing.
I lift my arms, letting Matitus peel off my slip. Dragus removes his pants, and I crawl up him. His erection stands tall.
My lips go to his chest as I nip and suck on his skin, trailing down his abdomen.
I reach between his legs, grasping him tightly in my hand.
His hips jerk against me as I run my tongue around the head of his cock, tasting him.
I take his large size in my mouth, loving the control I have over him in this moment—the way his hands tangle in my hair, the sound of his moans as I run my tongue along his shaft, finding my rhythm and taking him deeper.
I love the feeling of his body shuddering underneath me.
Matitus’s hand runs across my ass, his fingers finding their way to my slit, teasing.
His fingers move inside me skillfully, and I moan around Dragus, his grip on my hair tightening as I work his length inside my mouth.
Dragus thrusts into my mouth once, ripping me up his body and bringing my lips to his.
I moan into his mouth as I sink my wet heat down on him, his length filling me.
Matitus’s hands move to my breasts as he moves behind me, one hand on my hip as I sit up slightly, moving my hips and building up the friction. Dragus’s cock hits that sweet spot inside me, my hips moving against him.
Matitus’s length presses against my ass, and I wiggle my hips against it.
Matitus groans, his lips going to my neck as he sucks on my mark, making me moan loudly.
I would miss this, miss the feelings only the bond can make me feel, what only they can make me feel.
My body wants them, calling out to them as I feel my orgasm building.
I’m close, so close and brought to the brink of my climax as Matitus pushes inside me, one arm wrapped around my waist pulling me flush against him, his hand around my throat as he sucks and nips at my skin.
The feeling inside me builds higher, climbing higher than ever as I move my hips against them.
Matitus lets me go, my hands going to Dragus’s chest as I let them fuck me, let the sensation build, leaving me a moaning mess.
I teeter on the edge as I bring my lips to Dragus’s neck, sucking on his skin.
He shudders beneath me as my teeth sink into his neck.
His blood rushing into my mouth as I mark him, and my orgasm washes over me, I move my hips riding it out.
His grip on my hips tightens and he stills.
So does Matitus as we all reach our release.
I slump against Dragus, his fingers running up my spine and I can see he is fighting to stay awake.
Matitus pulls out of me, dropping on the bed beside us, pulling me on his chest.
I rest for a bit, knowing I will miss being like this with them, but I am no longer thinking for myself, I have to think for my people and until Silas sorts out his own problems, I won’t be back.
I know there must be something beyond those borders, something marvellous.
I can feel it and I am going to find it.