Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
Instead of moving toward shore, Iris found herself relaxing in his arms. The water was actually pleasant once she got used to it, and there was something peaceful about this hidden spot. Despite everything between them, she felt safe here.
A small smile tugged at her lips. “It’s beautiful here.”
“Aye.” But he wasn’t looking at the scenery. His eyes were fixed on her face. “Ye have a lovely smile, lass. Ye should use it more often.”
The compliment caught her off guard, warming her more than it should have. “Me entire life, I havenae had much reason to smile. Especially, lately.”
“Nay, I suppose ye havenae.” His expression grew thoughtful. “I’m sorry for that.”
She blinked in surprise. “Are ye apologizin’ to me?”
“Daenae sound so shocked. I’m nae completely without manners.”
“Could have fooled me,” she said, but there was no real bite in it. The afternoon had mellowed her anger, replacing it with something more complicated.
Iris thought once again about how devastatingly handsome he was.
It was hard not to think about it when he was holding her like this, when the setting sun was turning his skin golden and making his eyes warm instead of cold.
She tried to take a step back, to put some distance between them, but her foot slipped on the river stones, and she started to fall backward.
With a small cry, she started to go under, the current immediately pulling her downstream.
Elijah’s arms tightened immediately, hauling her back against his chest before she could go under. “Careful, lass.”
“I wouldnae be in this situation if it wasnae for ye,” she shot back, breathless from the near fall and the feel of his hands spanning her waist.
“What situation is that?”
“Standin’ in a river in me undergarments like some sort of... what is that word again?”
“Water nymph?” he suggested, his mouth quirking upward.
“I think that can work.”
“Ye look nothin’ like a water nymph.” His voice had gone rough again, his gaze traveling over her face. “Trust me on that.”
“Then what do I look like?”
Why did I ask that?
“Temptin’,” he said simply. “Ye look temptin’ as sin, and ye ken it.”
Heat flooded her cheeks. “I daenae ken anythin’ of the sort.”
“Is that so?” His thumb traced along her jaw, making her shiver. “The way ye’re lookin’ at me right now suggests otherwise.”
“How am I lookin’ at ye?”
“Like ye want me to kiss ye.”
The answer was yes, but admitting that felt like giving him a weapon to use against her.
“Ye’re imaginin’ things,” she said, but her voice came out breathy and unconvincing.
“Am I?” He leaned closer, his mouth barely an inch from hers. “Tell me ye daenae want this, Iris. Tell me ye’re nae feelin’ the same pull I am.”
She opened her mouth to deny it, to lie, but the words wouldn’t come because she was feeling it, too. This magnetic draw that seemed to pull her toward him despite every rational thought in her head.
“I ken ye’re enjoyin’ this,” he murmured against her ear. “Bein’ close to me, feelin’ me hands on ye.”
“I am nae,” she protested weakly.
“Nae?” His hand slipped lower, settling on the curve of her hip. “Then why havenae ye pulled away?”
Good question.
Why hadn’t she? She had every reason to push him away, to maintain the distance between them. Instead, she was practically melting into his touch.
“Because...” She searched for an excuse that didn’t make her sound completely lustful. “Because I’ll fall if I move.”
“I willnae let ye fall.”
There was something in his voice, a certainty that made her believe him completely, and the realization hit her harder than any flowery declaration might have.
“Elijah.”
“Ye’re dangerous, ye ken that?” His forehead dropped to rest against hers. “Standin’ there lookin’ like that, sayin’ me name like that.”
“I’m nae doin’ anythin’.”
“Aye, ye are. Ye’re temptin’ me to forget every reason why this is a bad idea.”
“Ye’re nae makin’ this easy,” she said softly.
“Makin’ what easy?”
“Hatin’ ye.”
His laugh was rueful. “I’m nae findin’ it easy to keep me distance either.”
“Then why are ye tryin’?”
“Because...” He pulled back to look at her, his expression serious. “Because ye deserve better than to be trapped with a man like me.”
“What if I dinnae want better? What if I want ye?”
The words escaped before she could stop them, bold and honest and completely terrifying. His eyes went dark, his hands tightening on her waist.
“Daenae say things like that.”
“Why nae?”
“Because if ye keep temptin’ me like this, I willnae be responsible for what happens.”
“What would happen?”
Instead of answering, his gaze dropped to her lips then lower. That’s when she saw surprise flicker across his features, followed by something much hotter.
“Elijah?” She followed his gaze downward and gasped.
Her chemise, soaked through from the river, had become completely transparent. She might as well have been naked for all the coverage it provided. Every curve, every detail of her body was clearly visible through the clinging fabric.
“Oh God.” Her hands flew to cover her body, even as her face flamed with embarrassment.
“Daenae.” His voice was rough, commanding.
“Daenae what?”
“Dinnae cover yerself. Ye’re beautiful.”
“I’m indecent!”
“Ye’re perfect.” Before she could protest further, his mouth was on hers, hot and demanding and completely overwhelming.
The kiss was nothing like their wedding kiss.
His hands tangled in her wet hair, holding her still while his mouth claimed hers.
She kissed him back just as fiercely, her body pressing against his of its own accord.
This is madness, she thought dimly. Complete and utter madness.
But she couldn’t bring herself to care, not when he was kissing her like she was the air he needed to breathe, like he’d been starving for the taste of her mouth. Then he broke away, leaving her swaying, breathless, with his face now unreadable.
“That was...” she started.
This is a business arrangement. Nothing more.
“A mistake,” he finished.
“A terrible mistake,” she agreed, even as her body screamed in protest.
“Cannae happen again.”
“Elijah?”
“We need to go back.” His voice was clipped, businesslike.
“What? Why?”
“Because this is exactly what I cannae afford to happen.” He was already moving toward shore, leaving her standing alone in the water.
“I daenae understand.”
“Ye’re a distraction, Iris.” He grabbed his shirt from where he’d left it. “And I cannae afford distractions.”
If Elijah had slapped her, it would not have hit harder. One moment, he’d been kissing her like his life depended on it, touching her like he would never let go, and the next, he was dismissing her as inconvenient.
“A distraction,” she repeated, her voice flat.
“Aye.” He gestured between them. “Whatever just happened, it cannae repeat itself.”
“Why? Because it might interfere with yer precious work?”
“Because it’s nae what either of us signed up for.” He pulled his shirt over his head, not meeting her eyes. “This marriage is an arrangement. It serves a purpose. That’s all.”
“And if I daenae agree?”
“Then ye’ll have to learn to live with disappointment.” His tone was cold now, all warmth gone. “Get dressed. We’re goin’ back.”
Iris stared at him, hurt and confused and angry all at once. A few minutes ago, he’d been looking at her like she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Now, he was treating her like a mistake to be corrected.
Fine. If that’s how ye want to play this.
She waded toward shore with as much dignity as she could muster, which wasn’t much given that she was soaking wet and practically naked. But she kept her chin up and her expression neutral even as her heart hammered from the blow of rejection on her lingering desire.
“Ye’re right,” she said as she reached for her dress. “This was a mistake. It willnae happen again.”
Regret flickered in his expression, quickly followed by disappointment, but it was gone so quickly she might have imagined it.
“Good,” he said. “We understand each other then.”
“Perfectly.”
But as they dressed in tense silence and prepared to ride back to the castle, Iris couldn’t help but wonder if he was trying to convince her that this was just an arrangement or if he was trying to convince himself.
The ride back to the castle was torture.
Iris sat stiffly in front of Elijah, every muscle tense as she tried to avoid any unnecessary contact, but it was impossible.
Every step of the horse pressed her back against his chest and reminded her of how it had felt when his arms were around her in the river, when his mouth had claimed hers with such desperate hunger.
It meant nothing. He made that perfectly clear.
“We’re here,” Elijah said as they entered the courtyard, his voice carefully neutral.
The moment the horse stopped, Iris practically threw herself from the saddle, not waiting for his help. “Thank ye for the... swimmin’ lesson,” she said stiffly, not meeting his eyes.
“Iris—”
“I should go. I have duties to attend to.” She hurried toward the castle before he could say whatever he’d been about to say.
Yes, focus on duties.
The next morning, Iris woke up to find Elijah already gone from their room.
Not wanting to think about him, she quickly got dressed and threw herself into learning what it meant to be Lady McMurphy.
She started in the kitchens where Cook, a round, cheerful woman named Morag, was delighted to finally have a lady who wanted to discuss household management.
“The previous lady, God rest her soul, never came down here,” Morag explained as they reviewed the weekly menus. “Sweet thing, but she dinnae seem to ken much about runnin’ a household.”
“Well, I’m here now,” Iris said firmly. “What do ye need from me?”
They spent an hour going over supplies, discussing the upcoming harvest feast, and reviewing the servants’ needs. Iris found herself genuinely interested. This was work that mattered, that affected real people’s lives.
“Me lady?” A young serving girl appeared at the kitchen door, wringing her hands nervously. “Could I... might I have a word?”
“Of course. What’s troublin’ ye?”
“It’s Fenella, me lady, the head housemaid. She’s been... well, she’s been takin’ things. Food from the pantry, candles from the stores. And when I tried to speak to her about it, she said I was lyin’.”
Iris looked at Morag, who nodded grimly. “How long has this been goin’ on?”
“It’s been goin’ on for weeks, me lady. We dinnae ken who to tell. The Laird would nae tolerate such dishonesty.”
Margaret wouldnae have kent how to handle this, Iris realized. But I do.
“Take me to her quarters.”
One hour later, Iris sat in the small parlor off the great hall, facing a defiant-looking woman with graying hair and hard eyes. Fenella stood with her arms crossed, her expression challenging.
“I daenae ken what lies ye’ve been told,” Fenella began, “but I ken nothin’.”
“Sit down,” Iris said quietly.
Something in her tone made the woman comply, though reluctantly.
“How long have ye worked here, Fenella?”
“Fifteen years, me lady.”
“That’s a long time. Ye must care about this castle, these people.”
“I do.”
“Then why are ye stealin’ from them?”
The woman’s face flushed. “I’m nae.”
Iria took the bag she had placed beside her. She emptied it of its contents, watching as Fenella’s face paled.
“These candles should nae have been in yer room nor the dried meat, and the silver spoon belongs in the dinin’ hall.” Iris leaned forward. “Why?”
Fenella’s defiance cracked, and she fell to her knees, tears streaming down her cheeks. “It’s me daughter, me lady,” she said quietly. “She’s with child, and her husband... he doesnae provide well. I just thought... a few small things...”
Ah.
Iris felt her anger soften into understanding. “Why dinnae ye come to the Laird? Ye ken he would understand if yer family needs help.”
“And admit I couldnae take care of me own? Let everyone ken me daughter married a worthless man?” Fenella’s pride was evident in every word.
Iris was quiet for a moment, thinking. “Here’s what we’re goin’ to do. Ye’ll return everythin’ ye’ve taken—all of it. And ye’ll apologize to Cook because she asked ye, and ye denied it. Ye forced her to speak to me, so she wouldnae be suspected.”
Fenella nodded miserably.
“But,” Iris continued, “I’m also goin’ to arrange for extra supplies to be sent to yer daughter, officially. From the Laird’s stores as a gift to celebrate the comin’ child.”
The woman’s eyes filled with tears. “Me lady. I daenae ken what to say.”
“Then daenae say anythin’. That’s what family does,” Iris said simply. “And we’re all family here, arenae we?”
Iris almost teared up when Fenella jumped to her feet and kissed the back of her hand.
Later, as Iris walked through the castle, she felt a strong sense of satisfaction.
This was work that mattered, problems she could actually solve.
She couldn’t help reflecting back to how different life was for her than it had been back at her parents’ castle.
With the thought came the worry for Lydia.
How was she? When would she send her word of her welfare?
“The clan’s talkin’,” Aliana said with a smile as she curtsied and joined her, forcing Iris’ thoughts back to the present. “About how ye handled Fenella and about how ye spent the mornin’ in the kitchens. They’re sayin’ ye might be exactly what this place needs.”
“Are they?”
“Aye, and me lady?” Aliana’s eyes twinkled. “They’re also sayin’ the Laird came back from yesterday’s ride lookin’ like a man who’d been struck by lightnin’.”
Heat flooded Iris’s cheeks. “I daenae ken what ye mean.”
“Daenae ye?” Aliana laughed. “Half the castle saw him standin’ in the courtyard after ye left, starin’ after ye like he’d never seen a woman before.”
He called me a distraction, Iris remembered. Said this couldn’t happen again.
But maybe, just maybe, he was having as much trouble forgetting that kiss as she was.