Chapter 15
Haylee
Haylee held the ivory-tinted enveloped in her hands, staring at her name in all caps for what had to be the hundredth time since Logan delivered the letter a little more than a week ago.
The bustle of conversation traveled down the hall from the basement family room.
Now that the official Christmas Eve dinner meal was finished, the dishes washed, and dessert being prepared, everyone was gathering for the annual watching of A Christmas Story.
There were mixed feelings, even among the siblings, about the movie.
But everyone watched it together nonetheless.
She’d end up sitting on the floor, but she didn’t mind.
Deep in her gut, she knew this was the right time.
She pried her thumb beneath the seal, breaking it at last.
A single sheet of lined notebook paper was folded neatly inside—and of course perfectly symmetrically because that was Dylan’s way.
Haylee glanced toward the closed door, debating whether to call for Logan. Even if she read this letter to herself, the quiet support might be nice. But this was something she had to do on her own.
She unfolded the letter and read.
Haylee,
If you’re reading this, I might be dead.
“Charming as ever, Dylan.”
I hope that’s not the case, although I did tell Logan to deliver this only upon my death.
I even told him to wait a year, just to be dramatic.
But the truth is, you deserved this letter a long time ago.
So, when I get back stateside, I’m tricking my best friend into bringing it to you.
I want you to meet him, and well, this is the only way I know how to make that happen.
Haylee paused, looking around the room. As though Dylan’s ghost might appear and help clarify this first paragraph.
Because it couldn’t possibly mean what she thought it meant.
Was sending Logan to her . . . a setup? That made no sense.
For all Dylan knew, she was married with twins.
And yet, he had every intention of this letter finding her, even if he’d made it home.
Why would he send Logan to her like some white knight?
To say she was annoyed was an understatement.
But before I get to any of the good stuff, you deserve a long-overdue apology. The way I broke things off was insensitive of me. I never meant to hurt you. You were always so good to me—too good. I know it’s cliché to say I didn’t deserve you, but it’s true.
I wanted to deserve you.
That’s why I came to Sunset Ridge to surprise you.
“What?” Haylee gasped, clutching her chest. The letter fell from her hand, fluttering to the floor, but she quickly recovered it. She reread the last sentence, to be certain she hadn’t misread it.
You were home visiting your family, a week before the Christmas carnival. I always did hate crowds. But I thought maybe if I surprised you—I know what you’re thinking. I don’t do surprises. And you’re right. I loathe them.
“You would use the word loathe,” Haylee mumbled on a laugh.
I thought if I surprised you, you’d let me off the hook the following week. It was selfishness that drove me to come. I know that now.
You told me you’d be at Warren’s Sea Shack with your family, celebrating your dad’s birthday.
I went there with every intention of walking up to the table, right to your chair.
But when I saw how happy you were with your family, I couldn’t go through with it.
Not just meeting your family, but taking you away from them.
I knew you’d be the perfect military spouse. I knew you’d go anywhere with me, and do anything I asked of you. I knew you’d raise our two-point-five kids while I focused on my career, and that you’d make the most amazing mother.
Yes, I lied about that too.
Tears streamed down Haylee’s cheeks, so many emotions warring for the top spot: shock, grief, despair, confusion, outright anger.
Dylan wanted kids.
The insensitive jerk lied about wanting kids, and now she had to shoulder the guilt she’d worked so hard to overcome. It took all her willpower not to set the letter on fire without reading the rest.
But curiosity got the better of her, and she pressed on.
I wanted to be that selfish.
But it wasn’t fair to you.
You deserved to be happy, and that day, it was clear to me you were happiest in your hometown, surrounded by people who loved you unconditionally.
I would have loved you the best I could, but it never would have been enough.
I don’t regret breaking up with you. It had to be done.
This letter isn’t some plea to win you back. I know now we’re not compatible. Not really.
“Gee, figured that out with all the time you had on your hands?” Haylee mumbled.
You should never have had to sacrifice the things that bring you joy just because they caused me stress and anxiety. You always put me first, and I knew you would have continued doing that, to your own detriment.
When I saw you so happy with your family, it was as though an epiphany struck me. I wanted to be a better man. And that started with letting you go so you could find someone who truly deserved you.
This is where we get to the good stuff.
My buddy Logan is like a brother to me. He’s also a fan of things like Christmas carnivals—
“No!” Haylee flung the letter away, as though its words were flames licking her hand. “No, you did not, Dylan.”
Her heart rate spiked. The room temperature rose to what felt like a thousand degrees. Her breath was almost impossible to catch as tears streamed down her cheeks. A panic attack was in full swing, and she desperately needed air. She needed to get out of here—now.
She yanked open the door, the gentle hum of conversation suddenly loud and clamorous. She flinched back into the room. The noise hurt her ears, making it impossible to think.
Which was why, once again, she bolted for the nearest exit without a coat, and just ran.
The crisp winter air didn’t grant her the relief she sought. The cold felt like icy daggers piercing her skin.
“Haylee?” Logan’s voice rang out as he came after her. “Haylee, what’s wrong?”
She hadn’t told anyone—Logan included—that she was sneaking away to read Dylan’s letter.
When she made the decision to open it, it seemed pointless to mention it to anyone.
After everything that happened these past several days, reading the letter seemed harmless.
It was merely a task left on her to-do list that needed checking, and the sooner it was done, the sooner she could move on from it.
It wasn’t supposed to blindside her.
“You have to stop running outside without a coat,” Logan said, his tone more scolding than playful as he draped his leather jacket over her shoulders. “It’s twenty-five below zero.”
That explained the icy dagger sensation.
“Can we please go back inside so you can tell me what’s going on?”
“Did you know?”
“Did I know what?”
“Oh my— Were you in on it?” she snapped.
“What are you talking about?”
“Dylan sent you here. To meet me. Did you know that?”
“What? Of course I didn’t know that. Haylee, this isn’t like you. Can we please go back inside? You’re out here in socks, for crying out loud. You’re going to get frostbite.”
She looked down at her feet, as though only now registering how impulsive—and stupid—running outside without boots or a coat had been.
“Please, Haylee? Come inside.”
Logan, dressed in a thin long-sleeved shirt, was shivering. He too was wearing only socks. Probably because he’d come straight for her. Which only made Dylan’s letter all that more confusing.
Logan draped his arm protectively around her shoulders. The fight went out of her, and she allowed him to guide her back to her old bedroom. He closed the door behind them, locking it as she collected the letter from the floor.
“Did you know?” she asked, her question a weak plea this time. “Please, tell me you didn’t know.”
“I’ve never read that letter, Haylee. I swear I have no idea what Dylan wrote in it.”
She wanted to be angry about the matchmaking scheme.
It was easier to be mad about that part of the letter.
Easier to direct her anger at Dylan’s audacity to weave an apology into some weird setup attempt.
As though that good deed somehow absolved him of the crappy way he’d broken up with her all those years ago.
But it was the confession about him wanting kids—about him lying to her about that—that truly broke her. It was so unfair of him to put that on her, and she couldn’t even yell at him for it.
Logan reached for her, and oh, how she wanted to fall into the safety of his embrace. She wanted it more than anything.
But that stupid letter had her so scrambled in the head that she didn’t trust herself to make rational decisions. She most certainly did not trust herself around the man she was quickly falling in love with.
She held out her palm, pushing him away.
“I need you to go,” she said, refusing to meet his gaze as she wiped away the moisture heavy on her cheeks.
“Haylee—”
“I can’t do this, Logan. I’m sorry. I need you to go.”
Logan cupped her cheek, brushing away fresh tears with this thumb. He waited patiently until her gaze lifted to his.
“If you need space, I’ll give you space. But know this, Haylee Evans: I’m not going anywhere. When you’re ready to talk, I’ll be here.” The lingering kiss he pressed to her forehead nearly broke her.
And then he did exactly as she asked. He left.