Chapter 20
CHAPTER 20
‘ K atie, it’s after seven,’ Mum’s voice called from behind the closed door.
‘I’ll be right out.’ My head hurt. I vaguely remembered arriving home. It was after…
‘Okay, love?’ Mum opened my bedroom door a little. ‘I’ve brought you a cup of tea. Lexi’s much better, but?—’
‘But what? What’s up with Lexi?’
‘I thought it was harmless. How was I to know they were adding vodka to their orange juice?’
‘What?’ I was developing a migraine behind my right eye.
‘I told you last night. Lexi, the vodka… her friends… vomiting on the carpet.’
I had to think for a moment. Was I the one who vomited on the carpet or was Mum talking about Lexi?
‘And the chillies! Why on earth Susie fed Lexi chillies, I’ll never know.’
I was confused, with a very dry mouth, and had lost several hours. ‘Hang on. Back up a minute. What chillies?’
‘And, Katie, I kept calling your mobile, but you didn’t answer. I didn’t want to bother Matthew… ’
I stared ahead vacantly. ‘You didn’t call Matt, did you?’ Focus was problematic, difficult given my head was split in shattered shards.
‘No, silly, I told you. I made Lexi drink lots of water, threw her in the shower, made her drink more water and finally put her to bed… just before you came home in the wee hours.’
‘What about her friends?’ I had visions of her friends arriving at their respective homes drunk.
‘Luckily, they didn’t drink it. They certainly didn’t seem intoxicated. Apparently, Lexi was the only one brave enough to gulp the glass in one go.’
‘Brave or incredibly stupid?’
‘I think she might have learned her lesson. She was very ill.’
‘She’s thirteen!’ I rested my aching head in my hands.
‘And you’re forty. You look sicker than a three-legged dog at a rubbish tip.’
‘Thanks,’ I groaned.
‘What happened?’
‘Nothing. A few birthday drinks.’
‘A few?’
‘Mother, I’m fine.’ I sounded superior, but guilty, exactly how Lexi did when she’d done something wrong.
‘If fine is looking half dead, puffy and flushed. You were so worried about not driving your car home. But if you’re sure everything’s okay…’ She trailed off and walked out of the room.
I slowly drank my tea and seriously contemplated not going into work. How much longer was my contract? I’d only been there a week. Whatever, it was too long. I showered, dressed and staggered downstairs.
Lexi had her head bowed when I entered the kitchen.
‘You look awful.’
She looked up. ‘Where were you last night? I needed you.’
I swallowed the urge to cry. Lexi finally needed me, and I wasn’t home for her. Okay, I wouldn’t have been much use, in fact it would have been disastrous had she woken when I’d arrived home. But I’d missed an opportunity to be with my girl. I’d failed her.
‘I’m sorry, Lex.’ I rubbed her back. ‘I shouldn’t have gone out after work.’
‘Maybe I wouldn’t have done something so dumb if you’d been here.’
I attempted a smile. ‘When has that ever stopped you?’
‘I was really scared. And when Susie gave me chillies, I thought I was dead… and then I puked?—’
‘Yes, I get the picture, Lexi.’ I clutched my forehead. I’d been out drinking while my thirteen-year-old daughter was at home doing the same thing. Clearly, my mothering skills left a lot to be desired.
‘You gonna tell Dad?’
‘You’ve done a very silly thing to yourself, not to mention what you’ve put Nanna through?—’
Lexi started to cry.
‘It’s all right. We can handle this together… can’t we?’ I bent down and put my arms around her. ‘But I don’t ever want to hear about you spiking your orange juice again. Ever. Even when you’re twenty-five!’
Lexi dried her eyes, shrugged, and with a mouthful of egg said, ‘Yeah.’
I watched as she ate the remainder of her breakfast. At least she didn’t appear to be suffering any after-effects. I leaned against the kitchen bench in a daze, my legs barely able to support me, until Lexi swished out of the room.
‘Mum, how do you spell ignoramus ?’ Angus was beside me with an open exercise book in his hand.
My mind was blank.
‘For school,’ he prompted .
I closed my eyes and confidently rattled off the letters, baffled at my ability, given my mind was mush. I was thinking about Lexi, my car, Graeme and my acute embarrassment. I’d kissed Graeme. How could I have, especially when my little girl was at home being force-fed chillies in a foolish attempt to sober her up? And what about Matthew?
‘I guess I need to order a cab.’
‘I can drive you, Kate,’ Mum said.
Lexi had strolled back into the kitchen at the same time as Mum. ‘Where’s your car?’
‘At work. Engine trouble,’ I lied. ‘Have you apologised to Nanna?’
‘Sorry, Nan.’
Mum kissed Lexi softly on her forehead. ‘I know you are, sweetie. You had me worried, that’s all.’
That’s all! If I’d have done that, I’d have been whipped off to boarding school, quick smart. Was this the same woman who’d grounded me for a month when I was fourteen because I drank half a glass of spumante at a cousin’s wedding?
After Lexi left the room, I said to Mum, ‘Thanks for the offer of a lift, but I’ll catch a cab if you can take the kids to school. And thanks for being here these last few days. I’ll pick Angus up from soccer this afternoon.’
Mum opened the dishwasher and began filling it with used breakfast plates. ‘Remember, you’ve got Robyn’s antenatal class tonight.’
I stopped wiping the kitchen bench. ‘Do I?’ I vaguely remembered her having to reschedule but my recollection was hazy.
‘I can take her if you’re not up for it.’
I touched Mum’s hand. ‘Thanks, but I’ll be fine.’ Except I wasn’t. I felt like crying. I didn’t want to work in a business surrounded by people all day, every day. It was hard always thinking about what to say next. Making sure you sounded intelligent, knowledgeable.
Being on your best behaviour at all times.
Being careful not to offend anyone, ever.
Toeing the company line, no exceptions.
Saying no to after-work drinks, not getting drunk or kissing your boss.
I wasn’t cut out for it. My head was spinning. I was hungover, embarrassed. But the sooner I saw Graeme and cleared the air, the sooner I’d feel better.
Better was probably not the right word… less wretched.