Chapter 18
CHAPTER 18
S he couldn’t do this. This… whatever it was. She’d thought it was nothing more than one of life’s sweet little moments, a candy-floss fantasy. Until yesterday. All through the evening, and half the night, she’d thought about little else but Clayton. He’d claimed such a huge part of her mind that she’d even forgotten to phone Spencer, as she’d intended. He hadn’t phoned her either, which might mean something, or it might not; she’d given up trying to work him out. That, too, of course, was a sign that she’d wandered off track. Well, it wasn’t good enough.
By the time she’d delivered Wilf back to Cloud Cottage first thing this morning, settled him down to await Emily’s return, and begun the journey to school, Laura had made a new resolution – a stronger one this time – to keep her distance from Clayton Masters, as far as practically possible. When their paths did cross, she’d remind herself he was her gardener and a casual friend, and treat him accordingly. Then, hopefully, Clayton would understand, and take his cue from her. What he had made of her bolting out of his house like a frightened rabbit she couldn’t imagine, but it was best not to try. The thought of him being alone at Christmas, shutting himself away in Mistletoe Cottage until it was all over, still made her sad, but that was because she cared, when really she had no right to.
As for Spencer, she’d make a much greater effort not to take his hot-and-cold moods personally. He’d told her he didn’t have any work problems, but Laura wasn’t sure she believed him. More than likely, he was too proud to admit to them, but there were bound to be glitches. He had a lot of responsibility with the massive projects he always seemed to have on the go. No wonder he seemed stressed out, and got irritated with her when she came out of her corner fighting all the time.
It wasn’t all the time, though, was it? It was only over the Clayton thing, because, stupidly, she’d felt the need to defend him when it was Spencer she should be siding with. Why there had to be sides in the first place remained a mystery, and looked as if it would remain as such. Spencer had made it perfectly clear that any quizzing by her would be distinctly unwelcome and, frustrating though it was, she must respect that. She’d definitely ring him this evening and ask him over for dinner this week. They’d have a pleasant, relaxing evening and it would all be fine. At least, she hoped it would.
The Monday morning chaos was a welcome distraction today. Once the raggle-taggle line of children had filed into the classroom and swarmed around her, competing for her attention with their stories and endless questions, the rest of the world, necessarily, took a back seat, Spencer and Clayton included. Term would be over tomorrow and Laura was looking forward to the break. But first there was the pageant to get through, tomorrow afternoon. Some of the parents had waylaid Laura in the playground this morning with worries about costumes and timings and behaviour, and she’d reassured them that everything was under control, and all they had to do was sit in the audience and enjoy it. She’d had her fingers firmly crossed inside her pocket, of course.
A busy day, a frustrating journey home – part of the Charnley Acre road was closed due to a burst water main, meaning a detour – and Laura arrived home wanting nothing more than a cup of tea in front of the fire. She was late; Green and Fragrant would have left by now, which could only be a good thing. They hadn’t. As soon as she swung into the entrance to Spindlewood there was the van in its accustomed place, and there was Clayton, attending to something under the tarpaulin. Saul was sitting in the van, his attention fixed on his phone.
Clayton’s head snapped up as she approached. No chance of driving past and pretending she hadn’t seen him then. She brought the car to a standstill, leaving the engine running, and let the window down as Clayton stepped up beside it.
‘Hello, Laura. Do you want to come and pick your tree? I can bring it up to the house before I go then.’
‘It’ll be dark in a minute.’
‘I think I can find my way up the drive in the dark, just about.’ He smiled. Brown eyes flashed into hers.
Oh God . She wished he wouldn’t do that, especially after yesterday. He must have known full well why she’d been in such a hurry to leave Mistletoe Cottage, and was choosing to ignore it. Clearly her plan to relegate Clayton to semi-formal status was doomed to failure from the start. Even so, she had to make the effort.
‘That’s very kind of you, Clayton, but I’ve got some things to do as soon as I get in. Look, why don’t you pick me a tree, a nice big one, a Noble fir, maybe? Then Saul can bring it up tomorrow. If he leaves it in the porch that’ll be fine.’
Clayton heeled his hands against the roof of the car. ‘Laura, is everything okay?’
Well, what do you think ?
‘Yes, of course. Must go.’
She put the car into gear and drove off.
Resisting the urge to go up to the turret room to watch Clayton leave, Laura put a match to the ready-laid fire in the living room and sat down with her phone. Her first call was to Spencer.
He picked up in seconds. ‘Hello, my lovely.’
‘Gosh, you sound cheerful.’
He laughed. ‘Don’t I always?’
Best not to answer that, Laura thought. ‘What’s happening this week? Are you free for dinner at mine? I want to try out some recipes for stuff I might make for my party.’
‘I’ll be your guinea pig any time you like. Your cooking’s tip-top.’
Laura’s turn to laugh. ‘Tip-top? There’s an old-fashioned expression.’
She sensed Spencer’s smile. ‘It’s a compliment. Take it or leave it.’
‘I’ll take it, because it happens to be true. When, then?’
‘Not for a few days, I’m afraid. I’ve got late meetings. It’s nigh on impossible to get the key people together within reasonable hours and there are decisions to be made over the village site before ruddy Christmas brings everything to a halt… never mind about that. I could do Thursday?’
Laura pushed from her mind Spencer’s mention of the village site. Time to concentrate on the positives in her relationship. It was book group on Thursday – they were due to meet at Veronica’s cottage in Mill Street – but she’d rather see Spencer. She hadn’t read much of the book anyway. She told him Thursday was fine.
‘Actually,’ Spencer said, ‘there is something I want to talk to you about, when I see you.’
‘Oh?’ Laura felt a twinge of anxiety. If Spencer was going to start on about Clayton again, she wasn’t sure she could handle it.
‘Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad. The opposite, in fact. But you’ll have to wait till Thursday.’
Again, she sensed a smile as Spencer’s confidence beamed across the radio waves. Strangely enough, Laura’s own confidence took a dive in response. Spencer should at least have given her a clue; he knew she didn’t like surprises. Or perhaps he’d forgotten that, which was equally depressing.
As the call to Spencer ended, so Emily’s came through. Bang on cue, Laura thought, her darker thoughts dispelling immediately. She was smiling as she picked up the call.
‘I think I’m in love,’ Emily said.
Laura laughed. ‘You only think ? Blimey, that’s a first.’
‘There’s a drawback.’
‘Isn’t there always?’
‘I don’t do compromise. And neither should you, come to think of it.’
‘We weren’t talking about me. Hang on, what’s that supposed to mean? Who’s a compromise? Spencer?’
A silence, and a sigh, until Emily said, ‘No, not really. That came out wrong. I’ve just been getting this feeling he isn’t right for you. But what do I know? If you’re happy to tag along being Mr Perfect’s arm candy at all those bloody functions, you go for it, girl.’
‘You’re not making any sense. Spencer and me, we’re solid. It’s give and take, in any relationship. You should know that.’
Laura sighed. This random conversation wasn’t helping her confusion over her feelings for Spencer one bit. The sound she’d heard coming from outside wasn’t helping either: heavy footsteps on the gravel, a swishing sound, followed by a whump . She stood up and crept out into the hall, still holding the phone to her ear. Sure enough, a thick dark shadow, narrowing at the top, had formed across the stained-glass panels in the top half of the door – her Christmas tree had arrived. If she hadn’t been talking to Emily, she’d have opened the door and called out her thanks, but more footsteps, lighter, told her Clayton had already left – somehow she knew it had been Clayton, not Saul.
‘Laura? You there?’
‘Yes, yes. Sorry. Someone at the door.’
‘Well, go and…’
‘It’s all right, they’ve gone now.’ Laura returned smartly to the living room and sat down again. ‘Look, never mind about my love life – I don’t even know how we got on to that. What’s the drawback with… what’s his name?’
‘Alfie.’
‘Trendy name.’
‘Trendy guy. Maybe a bit too trendy.’
Laura’s brain made a rapid interpretation. ‘Younger than you?’
‘Couple of years, yes.’
This could mean anything. Clearly it was more than a couple of years, otherwise Emily would have said.
‘And that’s the drawback?’
Really, Emily was getting far too fussy. A younger guy? Was she not thinking of the benefits? Although, no doubt she’d already sampled those.
‘Of course it’s not. He’s allergic to dogs.’
‘Ah. Isn’t there a pill for that, or a spray or something?’
‘Nope. His eyes even started watering when he got near my scarf, the one Wilf had been lying on in his bed.’
Laura raised her eyes, as if Emily could see. Only she could go on a date wearing a scarf she’d rescued from the dog’s bed.
‘So it’s Alfie or Wilf? One of them has to go?’
‘Yep, and it’s not going to be Wilf.’
‘I can remember a time,’ Laura said, somewhat abstractedly, ‘when you said you’d sacrifice anything for love.’
‘Yes, well, you live and learn. When do you want me to come and help put your outside lights up?’
‘School breaks up tomorrow, so Wednesday, if you’re free? You can help me get the tree up as well.’
‘I’ll make sure I’m free. I’ll message when I’m on the way.’
As he crunched back down Laura’s drive, Clayton’s heart was as heavy as the tree he’d just delivered. She’d suggested Saul bring it tomorrow – Saul! – but he’d seen no point in waiting, nor for anyone to do the job other than himself. He’d meant to schmooze up to the house and quietly leave the tree he’d chosen for her in the porch but, stupidly, he’d underestimated its weight and by the time he’d lugged it up the drive, there’d been no schmoozing about it. He could have put it in the back of the van and driven it up, but then Saul might have been the one to transfer it to the porch. If she should have happened to look out, or come to the door, he’d wanted it to be him she saw, not Saul. Like he needed to make a point.
But she hadn’t looked out, as far as he could tell, and even if she had, he doubted she’d have thought anything of it. As for ringing the bell and offering to take the tree indoors, that had never been an option. She’d made her wishes perfectly clear; he’d do himself no favours by ignoring them.
He hadn’t felt like this about a woman in ages, not since Annalise, whom he’d broken up with just before his sister came to live with him, although that was so long ago he couldn’t remember how he’d felt about her. There had been girlfriends since – perfectly nice, eligible women – but when he wasn’t with them he hadn’t wondered constantly what they were doing at that precise moment, who they were talking to, what they were wearing, eating, watching on telly. Not like he did with Laura. Every time he saw her, he felt wired for ages afterwards.
Yesterday, after she’d left his house in such a hurry, he’d thrown on his coat and set off at a fast walking pace, in the opposite direction from the one she’d taken. Sitting still, even staying inside, hadn’t felt like an option. He’d completed a circuit of the village, fruitlessly taking in the bottom of Charnley Hill in the process, before he strode back to Squirrel Lane. It had been icy cold and pitch black by the time he’d reached home again.
Laura must realise he had feelings for her, and he knew that in some way they were reciprocated. He’d had that confirmed yesterday; the look she’d given him as their hands touched had been one of pure honesty. And then she’d got scared and run away. Well, he’d just have to coax her back. He’d been around for long enough to know that the kind of connection they had didn’t come along very often, if at all. It would be a travesty to ignore it, and Laura would see that too, eventually. If she’d been involved with anyone other than Spencer, Clayton might have hidden his feelings away and left her alone. As it was, her being with that man gave him more reason to do the opposite.
Reaching the bottom of Laura’s drive now, he jumped into the van, slammed the door shut and revved up unnecessarily loudly. He hoped she could hear, and was thinking about him. Glancing in the mirror, he saw he had a ridiculous grin on his face. Saul was still submerged in his virtual world as the van lurched through the gates. Suddenly he looked up, like he’d only just realised they were moving, and shoved the phone into the top pocket of his jacket as if he wanted rid of it.
‘Holly?’ Clayton ventured.
‘Nope. I heard from her at the weekend. Probably won’t hear again now till she’s home at the end of the week.’
‘But you hoped you might.’
‘No reason to get in touch, has she? Not before.’
Saul folded his arms, gazing straight in front of him. Glancing at his tight expression, Clayton could almost see his brain racing around in circles, rationalising Holly’s behaviour and forcing it into an acceptable shape to fit in with his own hopes and desires. As you did.
‘What about you, then?’ Saul said, his eyes still on the road ahead.
‘What about me?’
Saul gave a little laugh. ‘You know what. You and the famous Mrs Engleby.’
‘Laura? Ah, well, she is actually spoken for, if you hadn’t noticed.’
‘Only by that smooth bastard, Jennings.’
Clayton laughed. ‘You don’t think he’s competition, then?’
They were at the bus stop, Saul’s drop-off point. Clayton pulled the van in to the side. Saul undid his seat belt, flung back the door and slithered down.
‘Course not. The man’s a tool.’