Chapter 2 #2
They came to a halt, a mere fifteen minutes away, at a woodland car park set on a hillside, which gave a gorgeous viewpoint across the valley.
Gently rolling farmland surrounded them.
The last of the circular golden-straw bales waiting to be collected after the late harvest. And farther along the valley, fields of green with cattle and sheep calmly grazing.
Despite it being near to the village, it wasn’t a spot she had discovered as yet.
‘Well, here we are.’
‘It’s lovely. So scenic. And look, you can see the whole valley.
’ She smiled at Will. Northumberland was still delighting her with its many treasures.
As she opened the car door, she heard the hoot of a cock pheasant, and the distant hum of a tractor at work.
So different from the city sounds she’d grown up with and got used to over all those suburban years.
The track from the car park led them into a canopy of trees, surrounding them with a blaze of colour: golds and browns, russet reds of the wild cherry, the burnt bronze of the beech, and the bold berry clusters and fern-like leaves of the rowan.
Birdsong filled the air with a mass of twittering, accompanied by a dashing display of darting wings and tails – blue tits, coal tits and finches.
Initially, she and Will seemed cautious of each other, strolling about a metre apart with the first of the falling leaves crunching crisply underfoot.
A shaft of sunlight came through the overhead branches, warming their way.
There was something enchanting about woodland at any time, but Cath felt this was its most glorious season – the striking melting-hot colours of autumn, a final joyous fling as summer faded.
Oh, could this be their chance for a final fling? She and Will? Perhaps even something more meaningful to tide them through the autumn of their lives? Life was short. Would it be so bad to let these feelings unfurl?
‘It’s beautiful,’ she commented with a smile, turning towards a thoughtful-looking Will as they strolled.
‘Yeah, I love it. I often come out this way on my bike.’ Will was super-fit. He found cycling an escape, and a means to help keep his mind off recent heart-wrenching events.
‘Must be great. The views are amazing.’ She could appreciate the sentiment and the scenery, even though cycling wasn’t really her thing. She much preferred staying on her own two feet.
There were no other cars parked when they’d arrived, so for now, it was just the two of them, the birds, and the gentle whisper of the breeze through the leaves.
Will paused, turning to look at her, his lips lifting into a warm smile, and as they walked side by side, he reached his arm into the space between them.
Aw, he was still keen to be close. For a second, she wasn’t quite sure if she was relieved or scared.
She took a steadying breath as she slipped her hand into his, interlacing fingers, as they strolled together.
The gesture so much more than friends. She felt all warm and tingly.
Last night’s kiss wasn’t some kind of fluke or faux pas.
She sneaked a sideways glance at his handsome face, his conker-coloured hair, likely in need of a cut, but it kind of suited him slightly ruffled.
His skin, like hers, was ageing of course, light wrinkles on his brow and the etched lines of both laughter and sorrow by his eyes – a sign of a life well lived, the marks of experience, and grief.
She took in the curve of his lips, which she had now relearned.
He caught her staring. ‘Everything okay?’
‘Ah, yes … all fine, good thanks. This is nice … walking …’ She was lost for words, remembering his sensual kiss from last night.
Would there be a repeat performance? Cath very much hoped so.
But things felt far more hesitant and polite between them today, even if they were holding hands.
It was a fine balance, getting this right.
After everything he’d been through, and he’d already admitted he wanted to take things slowly; she had to respect that.
‘Yeah, it is.’ His voice was steady, calm. He quirked an eyebrow.
A penny for your thoughts, as her nanna used to say, came to mind.
They walked on, fingers still laced tinglingly together, taking the track that made a circular trail through the forest. Bracken and brambles tumbled and tangled each side of the path, along with twisting tendrils of honeysuckle – the blooms now spent.
Cath saw sycamores with their swirling keys, ancient oaks with little acorn hats, and the fluttering leaves of the rusty beech, and then higher again, the tall, thin trunks of the towering firs. Layers of nature doing its thing.
‘Hey, how’s your son getting on?’ Will asked, his tone full of kindness. They had talked recently about Adam’s recent mental health issues.
‘Ah, he’s doing okay, definitely on the up.
Thanks for asking.’ Adam had had a real down patch just a few weeks prior.
He’d come back from travelling around Southeast Asia after university, to the lingering mess of his parents’ failed marriage, and the Leeds-based family home they’d shared for most of his childhood sold.
On top of that, the job market for fresh graduates was proving to be a dog-eat-dog world.
And zoology, though he’d loved his degree, wasn’t the easiest to link with job hunting whilst living in a city.
It was no wonder he was having problems and had lost his way.
It was still a big worry for Cath. ‘I went down to visit him last week. To see how he was coping …’ she continued.
‘It’s so hard to tell over a phone. Anyone can put on a cheery tone and cover things up.
He seemed in good form. And his flat looked much cleaner than when I was last there, thank God.
I purposely didn’t give him much notice before I popped in. ’
It was almost a three-hour drive each way for a ‘pop-in’, but that was fine.
Cath had wanted to see that he was all right in person.
Whilst she knew he needed his independence and to find his own way, she wanted to show that she was there for him, to be his support come what may.
You didn’t stop worrying about your kids, whether they were two, twelve or twenty-two, perhaps even fifty-two if her parents had still been alive.
‘And he’s promised me he’s off the drink for now, thank heavens. That wasn’t helping things at all.’
Will gently nodded, giving her the space to talk.
‘Trev’s been keeping an eye on him, too. My ex has actually stepped up. They’re in the same city, so he’s been seeing him regularly and keeping me posted, which has been good.’
‘Well, that must be reassuring.’
Their joint love of their son was at least making them work together for his wellbeing.
Perhaps Trev’s guilt at being the catalyst of the whole sorry split was finally kicking in.
Although this past year or two had been bloody tough, with the bruising crush of Trevor’s affair to deal with, Cath was trying her best not to be bitter.
In the last couple of months, in fact, it felt like things between the pair of them were finally moving on.
‘And I’m so glad Adam’s picked up. That must be a real relief. It’s such a worry when your kids aren’t happy.’ Will had two grown-up daughters, Maddie, a nurse, and Sophie, a student.
‘So, how about your girls?’
‘Ahm, they’re great.’ He paused, as though pondering how much to reveal. ‘Ah, Maddie’s just heard she’s getting a promotion in the hospital, moving up to a Band 6; that’s a junior sister role. She’s delighted, and I’m so proud of her. We’ve all had so much to deal with of late.’ He gave a sigh.
‘Wow, sounds like she’s done really well.’
‘Yeah.’ He gave a proud dad smile. ‘And Sophie’s now just started her third year at uni. Doing a law degree, so it’s pretty full-on for her. She has the right attitude, realises she needs to study hard and put the work in.’
‘Hah, it wasn’t ’til the last few months of his final year that Adam got that memo.
’ Cath had to smile. ‘He made it through, and did well in the end, though. Zoology. He’s been crazy about animals since he was a little lad.
I’d discover all sorts in his room … shoeboxes with mice in, crickets jumping about, worm farms, spider collections. ’
‘That sounds fun.’
‘Not when you find half of them hopping around in his bed.’
Will gave a chuckle. ‘Parenthood, hey. They’re good girls, my two. I miss them being around …’ He paused, seeming thoughtful. ‘The house seems very quiet now.’ His voice dipped.
She gave his hand, which was still laced with hers, a squeeze.
They stopped walking and took a few moments, looking towards the canopy of trees and through to an azure sky. Feeling the warmth of the sun’s rays on their cheeks, hearing birdsong, and knowing that life was still going on. In spite of everything – the hurt, the loss – the world was still turning.
It was so nice, just being together. That silent strand of communication. It reinforced Cath’s feeling that there really was something there between them. A bond.
They ambled on, the conversation tailing off for a while, and that was fine.
Cath felt comfortable in his company, here.
They came to a break in the tall firs, which opened to a vista of the Cheviot hills on the skyline.
They paused to take in the scene. Cath was aware of Will’s closeness – shoulders brushing, hips touching – as they stood side by side.
The kiss from last night, and how things might have changed for them, from friends to something much more, suddenly felt like the elephant in the room … well, the woods.
‘Ahm, I enjoyed last night.’ Cath felt like she needed to put it out there.
‘Hey, those supper club meddlers …’ He was smiling. ‘What are they like?’
‘I still can’t believe how they schemed it all.’
The two of them shook their heads, smiling at their group’s antics.
‘Ah, about last night …’ Will suddenly sounded serious. He faced her, and as he did, his hand loosened around hers.
Cath felt a shift. Like a cloud had appeared, casting a shadow over them.
Will continued, ‘This is lovely … coming for a walk, having your company. And I really do like you, Cath, but I’m finding all this so hard.’
Cath stayed quiet, letting him try and find the words he needed, whilst a flutter of panic filled her. Was it all about to end before anything had had time to start?
‘It’s going to take time, I think, is what I’m trying to say.’ His dark eyes looked caring, if showing signs of confusion.
She held his gaze. He looked fragile, wary.
‘It’s okay, Will. You’ve been through such a tough time.
I can’t begin to understand that level of grief.
But I do know how it feels to hurt, to feel vulnerable.
I’ve been in a pretty dark place too, lately.
Honestly, there’s no rush.’ Yet even as she said the words, she couldn’t help but feel a dip of disappointment.
One day at a time – that’s all they needed to think about. And yes, though she’d felt giddy and part of her could have rushed on in with this relationship, another part knew that slow steps forward had to be the best way for both of them.
He looked at her with affection. ‘Thanks. Hey …’ He opened his arms, in an offer of embrace. And it felt so natural to step forward into that hug.
Wrapped in his strong, warm arms, she found the tenderness of the moment soothing.
Cath’s breathing slowed to match Will’s own steady beat.
There was no rush … There was already this bond between them that went way, way back to their youth.
As well as the simple joy of now, and the hopes of things yet to come.
She let her head nestle against Will’s shoulder, heard the twitter of the birds around them, felt the warmth of the October sun that filtered through the gaps in the firs, with their pine-fresh scent.
She also breathed in the scent of Will, as she pressed her cheek against his chest, all fresh and citrus-woody.
It wasn’t a kiss, this moment, this time, but it felt like so much more.
It was a hug that was healing. Like their beaten-up hearts were trying to mend.