Chapter 24 #2
They strolled on, still leaning in close, and decided to turn around before the arches of the stone bridge.
The grey dusk was creeping in. And to be honest, that walk had probably been enough for Cath today.
Blimey, she’d be needing to get her batteries charged up again, and quick. So much to do, so little time.
‘You know, I really feel like I should be making more of an effort to make it Christmassy for the girls this year,’ Will said. ‘It looked so lovely and festive at the care home last week. The past two Christmases have been pretty dire, to be honest – both a bit of a write-off.’
‘Well, that’s only natural.’
‘But I can’t go on acting like The Grinch forever.’
Cath raised her eyebrows at that, giving an empathetic smile as she remembered the grumpy chap she’d met and reversed into in the supermarket car park all those months before, when she’d first arrived in the village.
‘I feel like I’ve been making them miserable, too,’ he confessed. ‘We need a little sparkle back in our lives.’
Cath nodded, listening to Will speak, as they strolled on.
They were still walking hand in hand, she noted, even though the ground was steadier here.
This was Will’s call, which steps he wanted to take with his girls, and his life, as he pondered how he might be able to once more discover some Christmas magic.
Cath walked, nodding, smiling softly as he continued.
Listening was as important as talking at times.
‘Hmm, the Christmas tree must be still up in the loft. Jane bought a big John Lewis one, a few years back. It was a fake but a really good one. Looked real enough, and not a needle to have to hoover up.’ He paused, remembering.
‘That was always Jane’s job – getting it all decorated.
I’d probably go and make a right pig’s ear of it, even if I did put it up. ’
‘Might provide some humour for the girls? The new-look Will-style tree …’ Cath commented, with a gentle smile.
‘Yeah, with some hanging bicycle parts: clips, a pedal or two? Inner tube for tinsel. But nah, seriously, I do want to do it right. I’d love the house to look festive when they walk in.’
‘Okay, well, whenever you’re thinking of doing it, let me know, and I can pop by and help you to decorate it. I love a bauble or two.’
‘That’d be great, honestly. You’re a star.’
‘A Christmas star?’
They grinned at the festive puns.
*
‘I’m picking Sophie up from her train, Saturday morning,’ Will explained to Cath on a call on the Friday late morning.
‘She’s going to text me the time once it’s booked.
Maddie’s coming up on Sunday too – a family gathering.
So, let’s do the Christmas tree this evening, so it’s all ready for her and Maddie. If that’s still okay with you?’
‘’Course it is.’ Oh, it was lovely that he wanted her help with this, that he was beginning to share his thoughts with her. This felt like such a breakthrough.
‘I might even open a nice bottle of red, and we can make a chilled night of it.’
‘Sounds perfect.’ Cath was looking forward to it. It was heartwarming to be included in Will’s life, to be doing things together once more. Slowly, but surely.
*
‘I’ve got the tree down. It’s in the lounge.’
‘Oh, have you been up in the loft by yourself?’ Cath was concerned.
‘Yep, it was fine. I kind of slid the tree box down slowly.’
‘You should have waited ’til I got here,’ she scolded, her tone caring.
‘You get used to doing things by yourself. You just have to crack on with it most of the time.’
‘I suppose so.’ And she knew all about that, since starting a single life. The teetering stepladder moments, both physically and emotionally.
‘There’s a box of baubles, and a storage tub filled with all sorts of decorations – bits we’ve gathered over the years.
I found a sack of tinsel up there, too.’ Will led her into the lounge where he’d set it up; the tree on its stand but its branches still mostly upright and box-shaped. ‘I’ll go pour us that wine.’
It seemed like he might need a bit of Dutch courage to start. Christmas, with all its traditions and memories, was such an emotionally loaded time. Cath’s heart went out to him. There’d been a whole host of memories, ready to ambush her, snagging at her heart, when she’d done her own tree.
Setting to work, she busied herself, gently pulling down and tweaking the fir branches from the bottom up to the top to shape the tree.
‘Ah, that looks way better. How have you managed that?’ Will came back in carrying two glasses filled with ruby-red wine.
‘It just needed the branches adjusting. They fold back up to fit in the box.’
‘Ri-ight.’
‘It really wasn’t your domain, was it?’ Cath smiled.
‘Nah.’ And he took a breath, then gave a half-smile back. ‘Lights first, I guess. I found two strands of fairy lights in with the tinsel.’
Cath nodded. ‘Okay, let’s test them out first. Where’s the nearest socket?’
Will took out the tree lights, finding the plugs, and then tried them in turn. Both strands lit straight away. They were a warm white and softly glimmered; very pretty and tasteful.
Will couldn’t stop his hand trembling as he took up a strand of lights. ‘Jane must have done this three years ago, held these lights in her hands. The girls would have been so excited; they always liked to help her. Jeez, none of us had the slightest idea of what lay ahead.’
Cath lay a hand gently on his shaking lower arm. ‘So, let’s do it right for her.’
The words sank in; they were together in this. With the girls, of course. They needed to remember Jane, and do her proud. ‘Here, unravel them slowly, and we can layer the tree.’ Cath was kindly giving instructions, gently helping to pull him back to the present and the task in hand.
‘Okay.’ Will’s voice was thick with emotion.
And they worked together, encasing the tree in even swirls of twinkling light.
Gold and silver baubles, and sparkly hanging stars came out next, and then they were sorting through the tub of all sorts.
Oh, Jane had kept decorations that the girls had made at nursery – a red-painted hanging stocking, a glitter-encrusted pine cone on a string, and a Father Christmas figure that Will recognised, telling Cath with a tear in his eye that Maddie had bought it for them once she was old enough to save some pocket money.
Their family life was here in festive mementos.
Will pulled out a small cone-shaped angel splattered with daubs of white paint with wings made from cardboard, stuck-on white tissue and tinsel. ‘This one was made by Sophie,’ he remembered, his voice somewhat hoarse, as he dangled the doll between his finger and thumb.
‘It’s really sweet.’ Cath looked across at him. ‘Will, are you okay? We can stop here if you like? There’s plenty on the tree already.’
‘It’s okay. I’ll be okay. It’s just, well … Shit. It should be Jane doing this – she and the girls. It seems so cruel that they’ve had so much taken away.’
Cath nodded, her own eyes misting. She rested her hand on his shoulder for a few seconds. Hoping to show how very much she cared for him.
‘Let’s do the job properly.’ Will stood up tall, sounding surer of himself again.
‘Okay. Pass me another then; there’s a nice branch to hang something on here.’
He passed her a hand-crafted glittery snowman.
They were so invested in their task they hadn’t heard the footsteps coming up the front path. There was a brief knock on the door, but before Will had chance to go and answer it, it more or less opened immediately, and soon afterwards so did the lounge door.
‘Hi-i! I’m home.’ A young woman with long blonde hair strode in, the excited smile on her face dropping instantly as she took in the scenario before her.
‘Dad? What’s going on? Who the hell is this?’
Cath stood upright, still dangling the childish decoration before her. ‘Hi,’ was all she could manage, as the situation began to register. This really was not how she’d have wanted to be introduced to one of Will’s daughters.
‘Sophie, love! You’re a day early? Or did I get that wrong?’ Will’s tone was puzzled.
‘I thought I’d surprise you. My afternoon lecture was cancelled, thought I’d jump on the train and get home and keep you company, but, well, you’re obviously not sitting here all lonely.’ Sophie looked about her, taking in the Christmas tree, the decorations.
‘What the hell is going on here, Dad? This was always Mum’s thing.’ Her eyes cast angrily over to Cath. ‘Who is this woman? I suppose it’s your new bit of fluff.’
‘Uhm, Sophie, this is Cath. She’s the woman I mentioned to you the other day, yes.’ He sounded so damn awkward.
‘You said you’d made a new friend, but jeez, Dad, what is this? She has no right to be getting all cosy here and putting up our bloody Christmas tree.’ She sounded close to tears.
‘I just wanted it to look nice for you and Maddie. To have something festive for you to come back home to,’ Will floundered.
‘Are you nuts? It’s the last fucking thing I want to come home to.
Some other woman in our house, doing the things that Mum should be doing.
These are Mum’s things. And mine and Maddie’s.
Nothing to do with her. It’s been two years, Dad.
She’s only been gone two fucking years and you’ve already replaced her.
’ Anger and tears made his daughter’s voice brittle.
‘Sophie, that’s not true. I could never … That’s enough of the language, though. And don’t be so rude to Cath. She’s only helping me out.’
Cath felt like piggy in the middle. Perhaps they’d got this wrong, her and Will. Maybe it was all too soon for the girls anyhow. Father and daughter needed time alone to talk this through. It wasn’t her place to stay. Cath was ready to pop on her shoes and grab her coat.
‘I’m sorry this is upsetting for you, Sophie. I was just trying to give your dad a hand,’ Cath tried to explain, as she gently placed the festive treasure she was still holding on to the arm of the sofa and gathered her things.
‘Yeah, I bet you were.’ His daughter’s tone was razor-sharp.
This was not the time to try and make friendly pleasantries. ‘Look, you two need some time together, to talk things over. I think I’d better go.’
‘Yes, you had,’ Sophie snapped, like a terrier at Cath’s heels.
‘Really, there’s no need, Cath. She’ll calm down in a minute,’ Will intervened.
‘I damn well won’t. I’m not a toddler, Dad.’
‘Well, you’re bloody well behaving like one!’
Cath started making her way towards the door.
It seemed wrong to say, ‘Nice to meet you,’ to Sophie, after the young woman’s outburst, so she didn’t.
Cath could see how walking in on that ‘cosy’ scenario unexpectedly could hurt way too much.
Emotions were riding high all round. So, instead, Cath said, ‘Perhaps we can meet again sometime, Sophie,’ in a calm enough tone to take some of the wind out of the young girl’s sails.
The only reply she got to that was a huff.
She’d dealt with enough teenagers through her teaching and life to know it was time to exit calmly. And this wasn’t just some stroppy, rude girl. This was a young woman struggling with the rawest of grief. It was time to let father and daughter work this out for themselves.
‘I’ll catch you soon, Will.’
‘Bye, Cath. I’ll call you. Thanks for your help.’
‘No worries.’
As she closed the door gently in her wake, she heard, ‘I can’t believe you were that rude. Cath was only helping me out.’
‘And I can’t believe you’ve got some other woman here, doing the tree together like some bloody Christmas romcom, acting as though Mum never existed.’
Cath had a feeling the argument was going to roll on for some time.
Will’s thoughtful gesture of getting the Christmas tree ready as a lovely surprise to cheer his girls had just backfired spectacularly.
But whatever had just gone on, Cath could see the situation for what it was – an explosion of grief.
Dammit, that was not how she’d have wanted meeting one of Will’s girls to have gone at all. Yet, Cath could empathise with them all. She still felt as strongly for Will as ever, and she knew she’d be there for him just the same.
But if navigating the girls’ grief was proving a minefield for Will, then she felt like they’d just stepped on a bloody bomb.