Chapter 34
Lunchtime was approaching. Cath had enjoyed the impromptu roast at the big bash but certainly hadn’t been able to face the thought of cooking another turkey dinner today.
To be quite honest, it seemed far too much effort to sit down and eat a traditional Christmas meal all on her own.
There would be too many ghosts of Christmas pasts lurking about, too.
Her backup plan, other than the many delicious deli bits to snack on, was to heat up a ‘Best of’ fish pie served with some peas, broccoli and a very nice glass of chilled Chablis, which would have been her go-to wine for Christmas Day – some traditions were worth keeping whatever the circumstances!
And sitting at the small kitchen table, looking out at her frosty garden, that was okay.
She still felt a glow within from Adam’s unexpected visit, and touched the beautiful pearl at the base of her neck.
The fish pie was really tasty, and as she hadn’t had to make it herself, it felt like a treat with the delicious wine.
There’d been a few of Lily’s mince pies left over from the festive lunch too, so she warmed a couple of those, and took them through to the cosy sitting room where the log burner was aglow.
A large dollop of cream was melting down the edge of the buttery pastry as she took a hearty bite. Scrumptious.
Her phone then buzzed with a notification.
She’d already heard from Adam that he’d landed safely back in Leeds, and her sister had messaged earlier with a Happy Christmas.
Hope you’re doing good. Chat later x. Even Trev had sent a ‘Merry Christmas.’ So, who might this be?
An old friend perhaps? She took out her mobile and saw ‘Will’ …
Oh. Her heart gave a little, well perhaps large, leap.
Opening the message she read: Merry Christmas, Cath. Hope you’re having a good day. xx So, he was thinking of her.
She had wondered about sending him a Christmas ‘thinking of you’ message earlier too, but hadn’t known quite what to say.
It seemed too tricky, too hard, to be cool and polite, when all she really wanted to say was that she missed him and loved him.
The ‘just friends’ was proving bloody difficult.
Instead, she’d opted for a text to the supper group with a Merry Christmas to all!
x Lots of festive replies had come back in from the gang, finally with a thumbs-up and Father Christmas emoji from Will.
But here he was, messaging her on Christmas Day.
The pair of them sat in their respective homes, floundering in the festivities, and no doubt feeling at odds with life.
Both trying to do the right thing. She wondered if his girls were there with him.
Most likely. Had they roasted a turkey? Tried to do what they had always done in happier years?
Will’s cooking skills would seriously need brushing up to tackle a roast, she mused …
Boy, how she missed their lessons. Were Will and the girls soldiering on, pretending everything was all right, when the world around them had shattered into a million pieces?
Or were they sharing a few tears, over stories of Jane?
Cath’s heart went out to him and his family. It must be even harder to lose someone you loved to illness than betrayal. It all seemed so senseless, such a bloody waste.
Merry Christmas, Will. She typed the words she’d been wanting to say all day.
Her fingertips hovering over the keypad.
What else to say? Did she take a chance on telling him she missed him?
Would that just make things harder for them both, or make him feel uncomfortable?
Hope your day is going well x she added.
And then, bugger it – perhaps it was the Chablis affecting her judgement, or her current romantic fireside setting – she typed Miss you xx.
And before she could change her mind, pressed ‘Send’.
Within seconds a heart emoji came back. Cath was touched … until no other message followed.
Whatever he had said about moving on and merely being friends, she knew he was missing her too. Will was trying to do the right thing for his family, and she had to respect that. But was keeping their distance just hurting them both?
*
Cath was glad she’d been invited over for festive drinks this afternoon with Dan and Andreas.
It would be fun and would help take her mind off Will for a while, and hopefully stop her overanalysing his recent message.
She wrapped herself up in a woolly Fair Isle scarf with a matching bobble hat (the gift from Helen) and navy winter woollen coat, then set off over frosty pavements and past twinkling festive lights, the short distance to the shop.
Andreas’s gorgeous green-and-silver-toned door wreath, with its mini stars, pine cones, cinnamon sticks, dried orange circles and eucalyptus, greeted her at the side door to the stores, which served as the entrance to their flat above.
She pressed the doorbell with an air of expectancy.
It was always good to see Andreas and Dan, and whatever they did, be it a simple drink or full supper soiree, they made you most welcome.
She’d brought a bottle of homemade sloe gin as a gift for them.
Made by herself from the sloe berries she’d picked in early November, after the first frosts, from the hedgerows in the nearby lanes.
There was a particularly good patch she’d noted on her summer walks, and had revisited at just the right time.
‘Hello. Happy Christmas, petal!’ The door swung wide, to reveal Andreas sporting a slightly crumpled red-paper party hat, no doubt from a Christmas cracker.
‘Merry Christmas, gorgeous.’ Dan appeared alongside. ‘Entrée, entrée, come on in from the cold.’
They shared hugs and kisses, then she followed them up to their flat. Shirley, wearing a holly-patterned green festive neckerchief, greeted her on the landing area, with the waggiest of tails and a woof.
‘She’s been spoilt today,’ said Andreas.
‘Isn’t she always?’ Dan added, with a knowing yet tolerant smile. ‘Had her very own portion of turkey dinner, with gravy and stuffing,’ he explained.
‘Loved it. I’m surprised she’s moved from her place on the sofa. You’re honoured. She’s been snoozing soundly since she finished that off.’
‘Actually, I think that was you, Andreas.’ Dan chuckled. ‘You’ve been snoring for the past twenty minutes.’
‘Surely not!’ He looked affronted.
Dan quirked an eyebrow, knowing better. ‘It was the doorbell that woke you up.’
‘Oh, well, that’s all part of the tradition. Eat far too much and then sleep it off, with the telly on as background.’
‘Absolutely,’ Cath agreed with a grin.
‘Anyway, let me fetch you a festive tipple,’ offered Dan. ‘Champagne?’
‘That’d be wonderful, thank you.’ She began unwrapping herself from her thick coat and scarf.
Andreas took her things to hang on the coat rail, then ushered her into the sitting room, whilst Dan whizzed off to the kitchen.
‘How are you, my lovely? And how’s today been for you?’ Andreas asked kindly.
‘I’m doing okay, thanks.’ Cath made light of it.
There was no need to dwell on the tricky parts …
or Will’s message, which had made her stomach swirl like a washing machine.
How did he manage to take her right back to her teenage angst?
‘And in the end, I didn’t spend this morning on my own, after all,’ and Cath began to describe Adam’s surprise visit.
‘Oh, how lovely,’ exclaimed Andreas on hearing the tale, and about Adam’s new job. ‘He’s such a nice lad, and I’m delighted for him and you.’
‘Thank you. It was so wonderful that he turned up to be together for Christmas morning. We’ve never yet had a year apart … Oh, sorry, Andreas. I’m being insensitive. Of course, Maria …’ And their thoughts all turned to Andreas’s marvellous mama.
‘Oh, don’t be worried, petal. It’s lovely to think and talk about her.
I remember Christmases back in London when I was a child,’ Andreas began to reminisce.
‘Mama there, such big family celebrations … Enough food to feed the whole street. Christmas Eve, it was carolling around the neighbours, dinging my little triangle as my sister shook her tambourine. By the end of it, we had pockets crammed with kourabiedes and melomakarona – the most delicious biscuits.’
‘Oh yes, were they the ones you made for the Greek-style supper night?’
‘They were indeed. The little icing-sugar dusted ones, and the cookies with cinnamon, orange, honey and nuts.’
‘They were delicious.’
‘Yeah, the melomakarona are my favourites. I should have made some more for Christmas time, come to think of it. But the time’s just run away with us. What with the shop, and the lunch event, we’ve been so busy.’
‘I know,’ Cath agreed. ‘And the big Christmas lunch took some and organising, didn’t it?’
‘Yes, well worth it, though,’ added Dan, as he came in with a tray of three filled champagne flutes. ‘I loved seeing everyone’s faces. It was so joyful somehow. And the dancing … Reggie doing the hand-jive … it was just fabulous.’
‘Yeah, it was a fantastic day, even if my feet throbbed by the end of it,’ Cath admitted.
‘Oh, and I hope you don’t mind me asking, but I couldn’t help but notice that things seemed rather awkward between you and Will that day. Is everything all right there?’ Andreas observed.
‘Not really, no.’ She might as well be honest about it.
‘We’re not together anymore. Well, I’m not sure we were ever together, but we’re not even trying now.
We’d only just got started.’ She gave a sigh.
‘It’s been really difficult, especially with his family.
I think they are all very much struggling to come to terms with Jane’s death.
’ She didn’t think it fair on Will to go into any more detail.
‘Oh, that’s such a shame. And I’m sorry. That must be so tough on you, too,’ Dan said empathetically, as Andreas reached over to rub her shoulder.