Chapter Nine
'I'm meeting Ian at the pub this evening, love. Why don’t you join us for dinner?' Straightening her back from where she'd just finished loading the last of the bowls into the dishwasher, Elsie wiped her hands-on the tea towel flung over her shoulder.
'Thanks, but it's okay. I'm going to the take a look at the Christmas market at Nick's this evening.' Merri grinned as memories of walking along the beach with Felix eating chips and chatting filtered into her mind.
'Would that happen to be with the lovely Felix?' Elsie raised an eyebrow,
'Haha, it would.' She held her pendant between her thumb and forefinger. 'I still can't believe he got me a new chain.'
'That is really kind of him.' Elsie nodded. 'I'm glad it's back where it belongs, love.'
'Me too.' she grinned.
'When are you meeting Felix?' Placing the tea towel on the table before taking her coat form the hooks by the back door.
Merri glanced at the clock above the shelf at the rear of the kitchen. 'Oops, five minutes ago.'
'Oh, you'd better get going then. Are you taking the van?' Elsie held up the van key.
'No, he's picking me up outside.' Grimacing, Merri checked the time again. How could she be late? She'd got ready straight after the bakery had closed. She'd wanted to be on time, to be ready early for their first official date.
'Get a wriggle on then, love.' Taking Morris coat from the hooks, Elsie passed it across to her. 'Off you go and have a wonderful time.'
'Thanks.' Taking her coat, Merri hurried out of the kitchen and through the empty bakery, the Christmas lights from the street outside illuminating the dark space. Stepping outside, she locked the door behind her before turning and looking up and down the street. Where was he? there wasn’t a car in sight.
Hearing a motorbike rev, she turned to her right, just in time to watch Felix lifting off a helmet. 'Evening.'
'Hi, I was expecting a car. When you said you'd give me a lift, I didn’t think...' She shook her head and laughed. 'I've never been on a motorbike before.'
'I can leave it here and we can get the bus if you'd prefer?' Opening the box at the back of the motorbike, Felix pulled out a red helmet. 'Or if you want to give it a go, I've got a spare helmet. Entirely up to you.'
Shaking her head, Merri laughed. 'Hey, I got my first wreath yesterday, I might as well carry on the wave of firsts.'
'Haha, true.' Chuckling, he stepped forward and helped secure her helmet.
'Is there anything I need to know? Like, do I just hold on or do I need to lean to the side when you turn the corners or anything?' Placing her hands on either side of her helmet, Merri gave it a gentle shake. Nope, that wasn't moving. It was on properly.
'Just hold on. Tight.' Felix put his own helmet back on before straddling the motorbike. twisting, he patted the space behind him. 'Ready?'
'Uh-huh. As ready as I'll ever be anyway.
' Joining him on the bike, she wrapped her arms around his middle, clasping her hands together against his stomach.
She'd always fancied trying her hand at motorbike riding.
As the engine rumbled and they pulled out across the cobbles into the road, Merri tightened her grip.
'WOW, THAT WAS AMAZING!' Pulling her helmet off and passing it to Felix, Merri grinned. She couldn’t remember the last time she'd felt such exhilaration. She wasn’t sure if it was because of the speed they'd been going, the cold wind or the fact she'd literally been gripping hold of Felix to save her life, but she'd enjoyed it.
'Glad you enjoyed it.' Securing both the helmets in the box, Felix ran his fingers through his hair before wrapping an arm around Merri's waist.
'There's you smoothing your hair down even though you didn’t have even one strand out of place, mine must resemble a bird's nest.' She tugged her fingers through her own hair.
Turning to face her, Felix tucked her hair behind her ears before leaning down and kissing her on the lips. 'Nope, you're perfect.'
Scrunching her nose up, Merri shook off the compliment before taking his hand as they made their way through the fir trees towards the sound of Christmas music, chatter and laughter. 'So, what was it you said is going on here today? A Christmas market?'
'Yep. Victorian Christmas market. Nick had one come last year too and although I wasn’t here to see it, he raved about it for weeks afterwards so I'm hoping it'll be good.'
'Sounds good.' Lacing her fingers through his, she looked across at him. 'What were you doing last year if you weren't working here?'
Rubbing his hand across the stubble on his chin, Felix took a deep breath in. 'Last Christmas my dad was in hospital poorly. I had meant to come and help Nick but obviously...'
'I'm sorry.' Merri squeezed his hand.
'It was tough. really tough. He passed away a few weeks later.' he cleared his throat. 'If he hadn’t made me promise to continue making Christmas special, I wouldn’t have come here this year. he loved the festive season. He lived for it. My parents’ house would have the most Christmas lights in the neighbourhood, all the kids would come to look at it, people driving by to admire all the lights. '
'that sounds awesome.'
'It was. It is. My mum's gone to stay with her sister this Christmas but before I came down here me and my brother went ad put all the lights up.
just as normal. Just as my dad had wanted.
' He smiled sadly. 'In a strange way, I feel closer to him here even though he never got to visit, because he'd have loved this.
It would have been his dream to work at a place like this. '
'That’s lovely that your dad wanted you to continue enjoying Christmas.' It seemed their lives had been polar opposites, Felix's dad celebrating Christmas to the max, whilst hers had done everything he could to avoid the festivities.
'Yes. I was reluctant at first. even when I turned up here last month, I warned Nick I might not be able to cope with it.
You know, because he'd loved the tree, the decorations, the lights, the atmosphere of Christmas, I was worried it all might remind me of him and I wouldn’t be able to cope.
' Taking his hand from hers, he wrapped it around her middle again, drawing her closer to him as they carried on walking.
'But it's done the opposite. All I think about when I'm here is all the amazing Christmas memories he gave me.
last Christmas was the toughest of my life, but here I'm surrounded by all the good bits, all the things he so loved and enjoyed, and I get to keep his love of Christmas alive. '
'That’s beautiful. A real honour to his memory.' Threading her arm around his middle too, she leaned her head against his shoulder.
'I hope so. I really do. listen, can you hear that?'
She tilted her head and listened. The Christmas songs had paused and some other music had started up in its place. 'Is it a brass band?'
'Yes, Penworth Bay's finest.' Felix grinned. 'And we're just in time to listen to them.'
She smiled. She loved his enthusiasm for all things Christmassy.
A trait she now knew he got from his dad.
As they rounded the corner, she came to stop.
the courtyard was full of Victorian stalls and old-fashioned fairground rides.
A pale blue and red halter skelter loomed above the huge Christmas tree in the centre of the courtyard, a brightly coloured Ferris wheel stood to the right and a beautiful golden carousel complete with the galloping horses was positioned in front of it.
The stalls she'd seen circling the courtyard yesterday were closed and in front of them coconut shies, candy floss stalls and hook-a-ducks filled the space. "Wow.'
Looking at her, Felix grinned. 'Is to Christmassy enough for you?'
'Just a bit.' She shook her head in awe. She'd never seen anything like it. Yes, she had visited Christmas markets as a teenager and an adult but this was on a whole other level. 'It's as though we've stepped back in time.'
'Haha, it is. Come on, let's have a go on the Ferris wheel.' taking her hand, Felix led them through the crowds to join the queue for the Ferris wheel.
Standing in line, Felix turned to face her, taking her hands in his. 'So, tell me what was Christmas Day like for you as a child? You mentioned about the fact your dad never really came to terms with what happened to your mum. Did you just not celebrate it?'
'No. Not at home anyway. He tried his best to make sure he was working on Christmas Day and when I was young, before my grandparents moved away, I'd go and spend the day with them.
That was nice. They tried their best to make sure I experienced a proper Christmas filled with food, fun and presents.
' She bit down on her bottom lip as she remembered the few occasions she'd gone to stay with them and experienced waking up to the heaviness of a stocking lying at the foot of her bed.
they'd been good times, but she'd always felt a crippling guilt that her dad was alone for the day.
Even as a young child, she'd felt guilty thinking that her dad would be going home to an empty house after a shift at work to reheat a microwave meal whilst she enjoyed a roast with her grandparents.
'When he couldn’t swing it so he was working I chose to stay at home with him and it would just be like any other day. Only worse.'
'Worse?' Felix frowned, deep lines appearing across his forehead.
'Yes, he'd just be... sad all day long. Quiet.
' She shook herself, dislodging the thoughts which were playing in her mind.
'Anyway, this year is different. Now he has his new partner and her children to enjoy it with.
And hopefully he will. Hopefully he'll be able to find the magic in the season again. '
'And you too. I hope.' Leaning forward he kissed her forehead.
'Well, I am so far.'
'We've one more car spare.' The woman manning the Ferris wheel waved them forward. 'Are you game?'
'Oops, I hadn’t even noticed the queue going down.' Merri laughed as she gripped Felix's hand and pulled him forward. 'Yes, we're game.'
'Fantastic. Have a good one.' The woman waited until they were seated before checking the safety bar and starting the ride.
As they slowly made their way upwards, Merri felt Felix tense beside her. Looking at him, she frowned. 'Are you okay?'
'Umm... I should probably have mentioned that I'm not great with heights.'
Raising her eyebrows, she noticed his hands gripping so tightly to the safety bar, his knuckles had turned white and that his eyes were tightly closed. 'Oh. You suggested we go on the Ferris wheel though.'
'I know. A suggestion I; m regretting more and more with every second.' He swallowed.
Placing her hand over his, she interlaced their fingers. 'I'll get the woman's attention when we get down to the bottom again and she'll be able to let us off.'
Felix shook his head forcefully.
'No?' She frowned. Why would he want to stay on here if he was this afraid of heights. It didn’t make sense.
'Nope. I'm doing this. My dad loved Ferris wheels and every time we came to a market like this one, he'd try and get me to go on with him. I always refused. So, this is for my dad.'
Blinking, she tried to stop the tears flowing. that was the sweetest thing she'd ever heard. 'Okay, in that case, I'm right here beside you. you can do this.'
'Thanks.' he gave a short quick smile. 'I probably should have wanted you first, shouldn’t I?'
She laughed. 'Maybe.'
'I just knew if I told you I'd be admitting it to myself and I naively thought if I didn’t make a big fuss over it, I might just be okay.'
'You'll be fine.' As their car rose to the top, the ride slowed to a stop and she glanced over the edge of the car, careful not to make it swing too wildly. 'But there is someone else getting off now so if it gets too much you don’t have to stay on.'
He nodded. 'Is that why we've stopped.'
'Yep, people are swapping over.'
'And we're at the top? the very top?' His voice shook a little.
'Umm...' She grimaced. Did she tell him the truth?
'We are, aren't we?'
'Yes.' she whispered, unsure whether it had been the right thing to say.
Looking around, she grinned. the view was amazing.
She could see right across the farm, fir trees stretching for miles below them before farmland opened up, lit only by the full moon and the stars.
'Honestly the view is absolutely stunning. I didn’t realise the farm was so big. '
'Is it? the view I mean, it is really amazing?'
'It really is. From up here I can see right across the farmland and right to Penworth Bay.
' She squinted. If her eyesight was better she would probably be able to pick out Elsie's bakery.
She turned as she heard a long drawn out 'wow' next to her.
Felix's eyes were open and although his knuckles were still white from his death grip on the bar, his expression had turned from one of pure panic to that of wonder.
She rubbed the top of his hand. 'It's beautiful, isn’t it? '
'It is.' He shook his head. 'I hadn’t known what to expect but I hadn’t expected this.' He slowly turned to face her. 'I can kind of understand why people put themselves through going on something like this.'
'Haha, yep. for the adrenaline rush and the views.' Looking into his eyes, she reached out and ran the pad of her forefinger over his lips, tracing their outline.
Releasing one hand of the death grip, he cupped her cheek and leaned forward. As their lips touched the car lurched as the wheel began to move again and Felix pulled away, gripping the safety bar again. Chuckling, he shook his head. 'For a moment there it felt quite romantic.'
'Until you thought we were going to plunge to our deaths.' Shaking her head, she giggled.
'Yes, that's exactly it.' Closing his eyes again, Felix inched his hand across the bar slowly until he was touching hers.
Watching him, Merri shook her head. How could she feel so much for this man in such a short space of time? Was it real or was she just getting carried away with the magic of Christmas? Whatever it was, she liked it and she was determined to enjoy it for as long as she could.