Chapter four
Zarah
Dropping my bag on the table next to my front door, my keys dropping next to it, I walk over to my cream sofa and remove my thigh high boots. They kill my feet but damn they make my legs and arse look amazing.
Jock comes purring over to me and rubs himself over my legs before jumping up and settling in my lap. His fur is super soft, and white, he is a Scottish Fold and he is my baby, since I got him a year ago.
Tucking my feet under my bum, I pull my phone out of my pocket and send a text, cancelling my date for tonight, giving the excuse that I wasn’t feeling very well, then settle Jock on my lap more, before switching the TV on and flicking to a cheesy Christmas movie.
I mean who doesn’t love a cheesy Christmas movie.
My favourite Christmas films is Gremlins and Love Actually.
My TV is set next my beautiful log fireplace, with a large wooden mantle, that is covered with a beautiful stretched green garland mixed with fairy lights.
I have a large round wreath again with fair lights and some little plastic berries hanging on the wall above the fireplace.
My six-foot tree is between the fireplace and the bay window, so you can see the tree from outside.
I only add lights and ornaments on my tree, I never add tinsel and always red, white with a touch of silver colour scheme.
I have a stunning Christmas rug on the floor that I bought while on a trip to New York last Christmas, which was a gift from Ana, Ace, and Blair. While I was there, I bought a lush fleece blanket there too.
My phone beeps from the arm of the couch and see my sisters name.
Ana: Are you okay?
Always looking after me, hell I have done the same for her, but I backed off when she got serious with Ace, I knew that he would be there for her no matter what.
Me: I’m good.
Ana: Lovely. Are you still going on your date?
Me: No, I called it off. Not feeling very sociable tonight.
Ana: So, what are the plans?
Me: I am having a cheesy Christmas night with junk food.
Ana: Perfect. Love you.
Me: Love you too.
I bet she is going to make Ace have a cheesy Christmas night when they get home, and Blair is in bed. This some something that we started doing years ago when she got away from her ex-husband.
Thinking of Ace, makes me think of Maze. Bloody Ash ‘Maze’ Maisley. That man does things to me that no other man has, and he has hardly touched me.
What he said back at the clubhouse about me not always being around stung a bit. I know we aren’t anything, but he knows I am around the clubhouse and I help out all the time with the children or whatever event they have going on. I may not be an Old Lady, but they still see me as family.
Knowing that Maze is back at the clubhouse with everyone, fussing over his new arrival, makes my heart ache a little. I thought I would be there tonight to see him bond with Faith, to see him in a dad role, but here I am alone again.
I push thoughts of Maze out of my head on focus on the Christmas film, smiling at how the girl is with the guy, how he goes out of his way to be goofy to make her happy. Maybe, just maybe one day I will get a man that will do whatever he could to make me smile.
Pressing pause on the film I put Jock down and rush upstairs to my bedroom and change into my Christmas plaid sleep shirt, and fluffy socks, before going back downstairs to make myself a cup of hot chocolate and get my cookies out of the cupboard.
One good thing about working in a café, is that I always make extra treats to bring home with me, for occasions just like this.
These are the chocolate chip cookies that I am making for the hospital, nut, and gluten free. Yum.
Once I have everything, I need I go back into my lounge and hit play on the film. I take a sip of the deep, rich hot chocolate when my doorbell rings. I frown and place my mug down on the coffee table and go to see who is here.
I pull the door open and suck in breath when I see Maze standing there in a leather jacket zipped all the way up, a black beanie on his head, making the ends of his hair curl. His cheeks and nose are a rosy red from the cold, but he looks handsome as hell.
The cold hits my bare legs and I shiver, folding my arms across my chest. His hands are tucked in his pocket of his jeans and he has an almost sheepish look on his face, which is not the Maze I know at all.
“What are you doing here? Where is Faith?” at the sound of his new baby daughter name his smile widens and brightens up his face.
“She is at the clubhouse, Pres and Lola are watching her for me, while I came here to talk to you.” He explains.
“Why?” I shiver again and he shakes his head slightly and pulls his hands out of his jeans and steps forward. With his hands on my stomach he pushes me back and into my house while he closes the door behind him.
“Come and sit.” His voice has a demanding tone.
“Bossy.” I mutter and take a seat in my spot on the couch.
He chuckles. “Baby, you have no idea.” He removes his jacket and beanie, then sits next to me, twisting his body so he is facing me, his knee resting along my thigh and puts his arm over the back of the couch.
He stares at me for a few seconds, not saying anything, just looking at me, my body heats from his stare.
His gaze drops down my body, taking in my bare legs, that has him licking his lips.
The silence is nervy, so I need to end it.
I click my fingers in front of his handsome face and he grins at me, bringing his gaze back to meet mine.
“Sorry, but babe you have legs that go on for-fucking-ever.”
I huff and pull my legs up so the material of my sleep shirt covers my legs.
“You didn’t come here to ogle me, Maze.” I state. He sighs and once again his gaze penetrates mine, capturing me in a trance that hasn’t happened before. This has happened with Maze but no other men, he always seems to be able to hold me in a lustful gaze.
“First of all, I want to say thank you for all the help with Faith, when she first arrived today. To say I was shocked is a fucking understatement. It was like a swift kick to the nuts if I am honest, babe. Never in a million years didn’t I ever think I would be a dad, especially after the crappy role model I had before Suede.
” He runs his hands through his hair, and I swear I swoon, and I am thankful that I’m sitting down, because I think my knees would have gone swear at the sight.
“What I said to you at the club was a shit thing to say. I know you will be around the clubhouse to help, you are family, babe. May not be an Old Lady, yet but family just the same.”
I don’t miss the word ‘yet,’ but I don’t say anything about it.
“I would love for you to be a part of Faith’s life, I mean she needs some kick arse women in her life, right. Plus, daddy needs some attention too.”
“True, but please do not refer yourself as ‘daddy’ to me. That is just a no go, mate.” I can’t help but smile at him. He pulls out his phone and sends a text, asking how Faith is doing. Suede replies which pleases him by the wide smile he is wearing, then he places his phone on the coffee table.
“So, back to what I was saying about the naughty Elf costume before what’s her face came through the door and dropped life’s biggest bomb on me.” My heart rate picks up and I swallow.
Can a woman’s body buzz from a thought of a man telling her what to wear? Bugger him.
“What about it?” I grin he wears makes my body tingle in all the right places, but it is short lived when I see his phone light up with a new text, then another and another all from three different girls.
It is like a bucket of cold water has been dropped on me and I remember what a slut Maze is, and he will never settle down.
All of a sudden, I get the feeling I know what he is here for. He is here to see if I will help with Faith, not because he actually has feelings for me. The way I have caught him looking at me over the years says he is interested, even his responses when I go on a date, but he never made a move.
Maybe I am just not good or slutty enough for him.
I stand from my seat and walk towards the front door without looking at him.
“I think you should go and spend time with your daughter. Don’t worry about my costume I will arrange something.” I tell him and watch as he shakes his head, before looking up at me from him phone.
He sighs and walks over to me pulling on his jacket, and tucking his beanie in the pocket, as I open the door.
He stops in the entrance, looking at me but I look anywhere but at him, but he doesn’t allow that.
He places his finger under my chin and forces me to look him in the eyes.
A piece of hair has fallen forward, and I have to clench my fists, so I don’t reach out and slide it back.
Why does he have to be so damned good-looking?
“They mean nothing to me, Z.”
“None of my business, Maze.” I state, but my stomach churns even more so now at thoughts of him with other women which is silly. I have no right to feel that way.
“Having Faith dropped on me, made me look at things differently. And yes, in such a short time, having a kid will do that to you. I always saw what was in front of me but never reached for it, now I am. Think about that, babe.” He leans in and kisses my cheek, letting his warm lips linger a second longer than a friendly peak, then he is gone.
I quickly close to door, to not let the heat out and go back to my seat and watch the Christmas film, but I see and hear nothing of it. All my thoughts are consumed by Ash, so are my dreams.