6. Maureen
Chapter six
Maureen
H e still drove the fifty-thousand-dollar car. Because that was who he was. William the finance bro. William sitting across from his perfect blond fiancée. William wearing an expensive watch. I guess he called himself Will now, but so what? All I knew was he wasn’t Billy. Billy had never been real.
When I saw him standing in the aisle, I understood what people meant when they talked about having out-of-body experiences. Because from the moment I noticed him, my brain struggled to process that it wasn’t some sort of hideous illusion. Somehow, I’d missed his contribution to the slideshow, likely because I’d been watching Marley’s face the whole time. By the time we were feet apart, it felt as though I’d floated above myself. Four years later, and Will had sucked me right back into an unwanted reality, a nightmare where the Will Marley had mentioned a few times as being “James’s super awesome friend from high school” turned out to be the Billy/William I’d spent nearly half a decade trying to forget.
I’d considered not saying anything, giving him the evil eye while fantasizing about throat-punching him. But in the end, I knew we needed to talk. Because it appeared as though he was going to be in my life in the supporting role of my sister’s boyfriend’s good friend.
This past week, I’d insisted Marley keep an open mind about James—she’d been pushing him away hard, not feeling worthy of his love. Now she finally had the happiness she’d dreamed of, and I wasn’t about to taint it by informing her that James’s best pal from high school was a lying douchenozzle.
Thank god I’d never told my sisters about Billy. It would have been too humiliating. The one time I’d allowed myself to catch something resembling real feelings—within a few hours of meeting someone, no less—I’d been burned in the worst way. Better they continued to think of me as an impenetrable man-eater.
I just needed Will to agree to my plan. We’d stay out of each other’s way so no one would pick up on the fact we had history.
Also, we would never, ever speak of our night together. Ever.
The festive decorations and twinkling lights barely registered as I walked from the auditorium into the high school’s breezeway. Nodding to some acquaintances as I entered the reception, I remained focused on the fact I had fifteen minutes to pull myself together before I needed to step out to the parking lot and face him. I stuck out from the crowd in my black dress, but no one seemed to care. My old teachers waved to me and raised cups in my direction. Former classmates introduced me to their spouses and kids. I managed a few bites of Katy Baumbeck’s cinnamon maple cookies. Tasted like home.
Truthfully, I loved being back in Coleman Creek. I’d been so adamant about getting out and moving to the city, but I might be more like Marley than I’d thought. It wasn’t bad living in Seattle, necessarily. I just wasn’t sure the big city benefits—and there were many, especially for someone working in fashion—outweighed all the things I missed about where I’d grown up.
Running into Will seemed like a Murphy’s Law type of situation in terms of timing.
The career I’d built was at a crossroads. After three years of working my way up, I’d attained the position of lead manager and buyer for Kolya’s. But the high-end market was hypercompetitive, and we weren’t the new, shiny store in town anymore. We’d recently hired an in-house stylist, trying to expand into the personal shopping space, but it wasn’t taking off as much as the owners had hoped. There was a decent chance I’d be looking for a new job next year.
My living situation was also in flux. Bren and Chase had been dating for so long it seemed inevitable they’d move in together soon. I had an inkling my best friend would tell me she wanted to move out when our lease came up for renewal in a few months.
Everything was changing. I was on the precipice of…whatever came next. So, of course, I’d run into my loosest of loose ends. Most regrettable of regrets. Confusingest of confusions. Billy.
Will.
Slipping away from the reception proved easy enough. I still had friends in town. If my sisters noted my absence, they’d assume I was catching up with someone. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Will with James’s family saying goodbye to Marley. Luckily, they headed to a different parking area.
I crept into the darkened hallways of the high school. Once I was sure no one could see or hear me, I attempted to shake off my nerves. I took my noisy heeled boots off, pacing in my socks, back and forth across the terrazzo floor. My heart rate and breathing were finally under control, but my mind raced.
I could still picture William that last day I’d seen him. Sitting in the hotel lobby. Horrified by the sight of me. Too cowardly to speak. Until his companion uttered the terrible truth. Fiancée .
Stretching my arms above my head and rolling my neck a few times, I exhaled through my nose. Five more minutes until I needed to go outside.
And say, what exactly? Why didn’t you tell me you were engaged? Why did you take me out that night, be wonderful, and make me believe we had something? That you were interested? Why are you such a giant tool?
Stopping short, I leaned my head against a cold concrete wall. No context could explain away the moment I’d stood in that lobby. Shocked and devastated and embarrassed. There was nothing to say. Nothing to know. I didn’t need to ask the questions because that would imply I cared. And I didn’t. Because fuck him.
I pulled my boots back on and walked out the side door, braced by the frigid December wind on my face. Fuck him and his tailored suit and his designer watch, his fancy job, and his perfect fiancée, who was probably now his perfect wife.
I got closer to the north side of the student lot, where he’d parked, enjoying the harsh sound of my heels on the pavement.
My eyes lifted to his car. Fuck him and his Audi and—
Fuck me .
Will leaned his elbows against the sleek exterior, ankles crossed casually in front of him. He glanced up, and my breath caught as his wind-tousled hair grazed his forehead. Raising an arm, he gave me a soft smile. His gray eyes shone, half-mast and hooded— and goddamn, those lashes . Still so thick they made his lids appear rimmed with liner. His expression so full of hope and expectation, I almost surrendered my glare. Almost.
“Hi,” he began artlessly, pushing away from the vehicle as I approached.
“Hey.”
“I’m glad you texted.” He folded his arms over his olive-green sweater. I recognized the brand, Buck Mason. The fashion buyer in me approved. I scowled at him.
“What else could I do?” I hissed, not mincing words. “It’s not like I would have chosen to see you again. Or talk to you. But you’re here. So, obviously, we need to.”
He nodded, and his breaths grew long and drawn. “Okay. I get it. Even so, I’m grateful. I tried to talk to you after that day in the hotel—”
“I don’t want to discuss that, Will .” Gnashing my teeth together, I leveled him with a hard stare.
His brows knitted together. “Then why—”
“I don’t want to talk about that day. Or about the night we hung out.”
“Okay, but—”
“I just want to make sure we’re clear moving forward that four years ago didn’t happen. None of it. As far as everyone else is concerned—especially Marley and James—you and I never met before tonight. Got it?” I inhaled deeply, proud I’d gotten my words out quickly and succinctly.
“Maureen, I know you’re angry. And of course you have every right to be.” He dropped his arms to his sides as urgency clouded his features. “But if you’ll give me a minute, I’d like to tell you what was happening back then. I promise I’m not trying to make excuses. I just want to explain.”
“No.”
“No?”
“No. I don’t need your explanations. If I wanted them, I wouldn’t have blocked your number.”
“But, Mo—”
“Don’t fucking call me that!” I smoothed my hands over my dress as I checked around to make sure no one could hear us.
“Sorry, sorry.” He held up his palms, seemingly unconcerned about his lack of fingers being prominently on display. “Maureen. I won’t forget again.” He cupped his hands together and blew into them. “I get what you’re saying, but if you let me—”
“I already told you I don’t want to hear it,” I whisper-snarled. “And you don’t get to clear your conscience or whatever it is you’re trying to do by forcing me to listen—”
“That’s not what I’m trying to—”
“Just. Stop. Nothing you can say will make it better. Nothing I need clarity on. There are no misunderstandings here. Four years ago, I found out you are an enormous prick. That’s all I really need to know. I’m not interested in re-litigating the past, reliving it, or whatever it is you’re trying to do here.”
His face fell. He paused before speaking again. “I’m sorry. The last thing I wanted to do back then was hurt you.”
I barely escaped choking on my breath. “Whoa. Hold up.” My cheeks heated. It was a strange sensation, being full-up with emotion. I stepped back, crossing my hands back and forth in front of myself. “Don’t put words in my mouth. I said you were a total dick. I never said you hurt me.”
“Of course. Sorry.” He crooked an elbow behind his head and exhaled heavily. “Look, I’m just saying I know you’re right. I was a prick.”
“Exactly. And you don’t get to ask for anything now. Especially absolution.”
He looked like he had another reply, but ultimately, he simply nodded before exhaling gravely and stating again, “You’re right.”
“Obviously.” I huffed. “From now on, I only want to talk about what we’re going to do in the future.”
He appeared sad, but the fight had left him. “Okay.”
“Great. Then you agree to pretend we just met tonight?”
“Whatever you want.”
“Awesome.” I stood back on my heels. “Well, then we’re done here. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow at Marley’s house for lunch. You’re leaving in the afternoon, right?”
“Uh-huh. I need to drive back tomorrow. Christmas with my parents.”
“Then it shouldn’t be too hard to avoid each other for a few hours. Agreed?”
“Alright.”
I breathed out. It was done. We had a plan, even if he looked like a kicked puppy right now. Even if there was nothing of the slick finance bro I’d seen in the lobby that day and everything of the fascinating guy I’d met at a concert and talked to for hours in a greasy coffee shop.
I was determined to walk away quickly. Except something compelled me to look back and ask, “You came alone? Wife’s not with you?”
The kicked puppy expression dissolved somewhat as he squared his shoulders and looked me in the eye. “I’m not married.” My stomach flipped when he said it, my brain picturing the woman in the hotel. But I didn’t want to lose my advantage. I gave a clipped nod as I turned away. He called after me, “Maureen, so you know…I’ve never been married.”
The next day was excruciating.
Miranda and I wanted to give Marley and James privacy, so we’d checked into the Hampton Inn last night. Separate rooms since I wouldn’t have been able to handle my baby sister’s Susie Sunshine personality after talking to Will. Of course, after spending another hour at the talent show reception, I’d arrived at the hotel to find Will’s Audi parked there. In the morning, I hid in my room until check-out time. Will’s car was gone when Miranda and I left.
Never been married.
I felt positive Rosalyn hadn’t been lying about being engaged. But they hadn’t gone through with it. The question of why ran through my brain on a loop. Taunting me.
Will wasn’t at Marley’s house when I arrived, but that didn’t stop James from gushing about how his old friend had made the effort to drive to Coleman Creek for the slideshow. I had no intention of bursting James’s bubble, but after reflecting on last night, I recalled Will had seemed totally unsurprised by my presence. I guessed he’d probably come because he suspected I’d be here, something easy enough to confirm.
“James?” I asked, attempting nonchalance as I sat on the counter behind him in the breakfast nook.
“Yeah?”
“Is it really so shocking Will came? I mean, from the way Marley talked about him and your reunion, it doesn’t seem far-fetched he’d do you a solid.”
Saying that made me grimace a little, but I needed James to spill on what he’d told Will prior to yesterday.
“I guess not.” He shrugged. “It surprised me to see my parents and brother, too. They didn’t have to come. I appreciate everyone making the extra effort. Especially Will, considering the two of us have only barely started reconnecting. He’s a good guy.”
I rolled my eyes as James looked down at his crossword puzzle. “Did Will know Miranda and I would be here?”
If James thought my non sequitur of a question odd, he didn’t give any sign, and merely smiled as he answered, “I think so. Pretty sure I told him we’d have a full house because you guys were staying here until Christmas.”
That settled it in my mind. I knew I’d mentioned Marley’s name that night we’d talked at Denny’s. And Coleman Creek. It wouldn’t have been hard for Will to put two and two together.
Thirty minutes later, Will walked through the door with James’s family, talking animatedly with James’s brother Leo about football, again making no effort to hide his missing fingers. I thought about the way he’d shoved his hands in his pockets four years ago. Or folded them in his lap underneath the table. That discomfort seemed to have lessened since our night together, and I wasn’t callous enough to begrudge his progress there.
I was, however, callous enough to spend the rest of lunch ignoring him and making sure we stayed on opposite sides of the room. We didn’t speak, didn’t interact. But I caught his eyes on me a few times and knew our proximity affected him as much as me.
To that point, I took advantage of the mimosa bar Miranda had set up. It wasn’t typical for me to drink a lot—I had good reasons to be careful—but Will’s presence loosened my usual strictness with it.
My focus fell three glasses later, huddled in the living room with my sisters. Marley’s loving expression lasered in on James as he told a story, and Miranda lamented how she wanted to find someone too. Without meaning to, I revealed I once thought I’d found a special person myself, but that I’d been wrong. My sisters’ mouths gaped. They’d never known me to be serious about dating anyone. Before they could launch an interrogation, I retreated into the kitchen to get some water.
Clearly, I needed to flush the mimosas from my system before I said something truly stupid.
I pushed a glass against the dispenser and watched as it filled, heart thumping from what I’d almost let slip. Get it together, Maureen. You just need to make it an hour, and then he’ll drive away. I opened the fridge to grab a snack before deciding against it. Even though I’d only managed a few bites at lunch, I wasn’t hungry. I shoved the door closed.
And came face-to-face with Will.
He’d been finishing a phone call in the adjacent laundry room, and his eyes went wide when he saw me. The galley-style kitchen of Marley’s home blocked us from the view of the others. Their voices seemed a million miles away.
We stood frozen. I hadn’t expected to be alone with him again. Not after last night. I watched the slow slide of his throat as he gulped. Locking eyes with me, he inched closer.
“Hi,” he murmured.
The awareness of him I’d been fighting all morning became a concentrated force in the room, invading my body. I shuddered lightly as the woodsy scent of his cologne drew out the memory of his nose grazing delicately along my cheek. Horrifyingly, the water I’d just poured started slipping through my fingers. Will acted fast, reaching a hand out to steady it. I blinked as our fingers touched in the place we both held the glass.
“I’ve got it,” he said, breaking our contact as he put the glass on the counter. “Sorry I startled you.”
“You didn’t.” I recovered my senses, stepping back to put a foot of distance between us. “I’m just, uh, clumsy.”
“No, you’re not,” he whispered. My breath hitched, gaze landing on his dark stubble as he scrubbed a hand roughly over his face. I cursed inwardly. Why did he have to be even hotter than he was four years ago?
I didn’t plan on waiting around to find out. He sighed and moved aside as I motioned to get by him. As I passed, I asked in a low tone, “You knew I’d be here this weekend, didn’t you?”
He looked up, pausing significantly before responding. “It’s why I came.”
“To see me?”
“To talk to you. To say the things you wouldn’t let me say last night.” He angled his forearms to grip the counter. “Even if you hated me, I wanted to try.”
“To explain why you lied about being engaged?”
“I didn’t exactly lie.” I glared at him, and he held up his hands, letting out a nervous cough. “Okay, yes, to explain about that.”
I thought about how I’d denied him last night. It had felt good getting that power back. Pushing my palms into my rear pockets, I straightened to my full height, meeting him chest to chest. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“That woman—Rosalyn—was she lying when she said you were engaged?”
“No. But there’s more—”
“And that night we spent together, when I poured my heart out about my mom and my life and opened myself up to you, were you engaged then?”
He glanced down at the floor.
I snorted. “There’s nothing to say here, Will. I don’t want to hear it.”
I turned away. He spoke under his breath, stopping me. “I wanted to talk to you…to make sure you knew how much our night together meant to me. How much I think about it. Think about you. I don’t want you to…”
“Don’t want me to what?”
“I don’t want you to regret it. Because I don’t.” He pushed out an unsteady breath. “And even if it makes me an asshole, I don’t want you to hate me.”
I frowned. “You don’t get to decide that.”
He winced. I studied him and thought about why I didn’t want to hear any explanations for his actions. Was it really to prove I didn’t care? Or was it because I feared he could somehow find the right words to make me forgive him? I couldn’t risk it.
I leaned back to look through the doorway into the living room. James was in the middle of another lengthy story, and it appeared no one had noticed our absence yet.
Will would be in my life, at least on the edge of it, for the foreseeable future. And judging by my body’s electric response to him, I had a lot of work to do to maintain my resolve. I couldn’t allow myself to be manipulated again. I shivered as the memory of seeing him in that hotel lobby washed over me. The shock. The embarrassment.
I straightened before speaking again. “Let’s do a better job of steering clear of each other.”
Striding off, I didn’t look back.
An hour later, Will drove away. I stayed in the house while everyone else went outside to wave goodbye.