17. Will
Chapter seventeen
Will
I ’d felt okay at the hospital. Okay during check-out. Okay during the long ride to James and Marley’s house. I’d even felt okay during the walk from Maureen’s car to the guest room, though that short distance had seemed like a marathon.
But now that I was here, propped up against a million pillows, I was too dizzy to even lift a water glass to my mouth. I felt wrecked. The medications were wearing off.
Dr. McNulty cautioned me this would happen. She’d even offered me an extra few days of painkillers to get through the worst of it. But I declined. I’d faced the nausea, vertigo, and dizziness that came from a concussion before. In my mind, the pain was better than the feeling of helplessness that came with being totally out of it.
I felt a straw touch my lips. “Just a few sips at a time today,” Marley said, leaning down next to the bed. “Doctor’s orders.”
“I know the drill. Not my first rodeo,” I said, hearing James’s intake of breath across the room. I knew the doctors had given them the barest details of my medical history, and I needed to fill in the blanks. But not now. What I needed to do now was concentrate on not throwing up.
“Let Marley Mother Hen you, Will. She’ll be unbearable otherwise,” Maureen spoke up from the doorway.
My cheek rose slightly as I released the straw. Speaking slowly and concisely—damn, I hated the side effect of having to search for my words—I asked, “Are you planning on huh-huh-huh…” Fuck! “Hovering…for the next five days?” I’d been diagnosed with a relatively mild concussion, but they were being extra careful because of my history. The doctors planned to do another scan on Friday to compare it to the one they’d taken after my fall to make sure they hadn’t missed anything.
“Of course.” This time, it was James speaking unapologetically. “We’re going to Florence Nightingale your ass so hard you won’t know what hit you.”
I smiled, wanting to laugh or at least say thanks, but I couldn’t because if I opened my mouth, vomit might come out.
James’s phone buzzed, and he stepped out to take the call.
“Maybe we should leave so Will can rest,” Maureen said to Marley. “He might be more up for talking after a nap.”
I dipped my chin as best I could and hoped she knew I was grateful. I had so much to say. But my forehead was throbbing. Full-blown metal concert going on in there. Maybe I should have taken the prescription for the harder drugs? No. I needed clarity for these conversations.
I wanted to talk with all three of them about my accident so they could understand why the doctors were being cautious. And then, of course, Maureen and I had things to discuss. She said she was ready to hear what happened five years ago, and I wanted to tell her before she changed her mind.
My thoughts grew muddled. Vaguely, I heard commotion coming from the kitchen and the living room. The distinct sound of James lumbering around his bedroom. Marley and Maureen speaking rapidly. Even the dogs were barking. Something was happening. But my stupid head. I tried to fight it. Tried to concentrate on the raised voices and the sound of James’s car tearing out of the driveway, the crack of tires on the icy road. But sleep pulled me under.
When I woke up, I could hear Marley and Maureen speaking quietly somewhere outside the bedroom. My foggy brain couldn’t distinguish between their voices, and I only picked up snippets of the conversation.
“…I’ll just stay… Whose responsibility is it then… James said it’s bad… Heard from Dr. McNulty… We should wait and ask Will… About three hours… You know you’ll have to tell me eventually… Not sure about the timing…”
They walked farther away, and I couldn’t hear any more. Not that it mattered, because my awareness faded again.
When I woke a second time, Maureen was in my room, perched against the dresser and looking at a tablet. She had it set in dark mode with the screen faced away from me, so there wasn’t much light, but she still powered it off quickly once she noticed my eyes were open.
“Hey,” I rasped.
“Will.” She breathed out and smiled. “I was wondering if I should wake you again. We’ve been doing it every two hours like the doctor said to, but you keep going right back under.”
With some difficulty, I tilted my head toward the window to see the sun had set. “What… time?”
“Just past seven. You were awake for a few minutes when we brought you home from the hospital, but you’ve been sleeping ever since.”
I felt so groggy. I tried to lift myself, but the pain in my head had me immediately falling back against the pillow.
Maureen jumped over and put a hand out, like she was going to make sure I stayed down. “C’mon, Will. None of that. The doctor was clear. Rest and stay still as much as possible. At least today and maybe tomorrow. If you need to get up, like to use the bathroom, you have to take it slow, and one of us needs to be nearby to make sure you’re okay.”
“Cool. I’m…toddler.”
“I mean, if you’re going to pout like one.” She raised an eyebrow. “But otherwise, you’re just a lucky man recovering from a head injury, which could have been much, much worse.” She leaned down to touch my shoulder as though reassuring herself I wasn’t going to move. “The doctor said you should feel a lot better tomorrow and over the next few days. The good news is, you’re stuck in Coleman Creek. No way you’ll be cleared for driving for at least a week.”
I’d guessed as much. Good thing I didn’t have a company to run anymore. But I’d need to figure out something to tell my parents. No way could they find out I’d had another concussion. They’d flip.
God, my head was pounding. It hurt so bad, simply breathing caused pain, and I felt so nauseous, I was practically about to…no, wait… I was definitely going to… I waved my fingers at the trash can, and Maureen got the hint just in time to put it under my chin as I retched into it. Not much came up, and it made me feel worse rather than better, but stopping it hadn’t been an option.
When I finished heaving, Maureen had a cool washcloth ready for me. With effort, I swiped it across my mouth and face. The motion had my head spinning, but I forced myself back against the pillows and didn’t need the trash can again.
“I know you…want me now.” I attempted to deadpan.
“Meh. I went to college,” Maureen replied, nonplussed. “I’ve seen worse. At least you have a better excuse than being dared to drink a twelve-pack to win the last bag of Doritos.”
She got up and disappeared for a moment, taking the garbage can with her. When she came back, she put it next to the bed. “I cleaned it out and put an air freshener under the liner, so it won’t smell like a dive bar bathroom. It’s here if you need it.”
“Thanks.” I kept my head immobile, which helped. I could speak at a low volume, though it still made me slightly dizzy, my own voice ringing in my ears.
Maureen sat down on the edge of the bed, careful not to jostle the mattress. “This okay?”
“Good.”
“One of us has been checking on you every half hour or so. But now that you’re up, I can give you some privacy if you’d prefer.”
“No.” A powerful sensation of something akin to panic gripped me. “Stay.” Even in my pain haze, with the aftertaste of bile in my mouth, I wanted her nearby.
“Okay,” she murmured. “Let me know if my voice bothers you. I know you can’t watch TV or use any screens yet. I have the lamp dimmed, but I can turn that off too if you want.”
“No. I’m good. You can…talk to me.” I crept my hand across the bedspread until one finger touched her hip. “Please.”
“Alright. I know there’s so much to say between us, but the big stuff should wait until you feel better. James and Marley and I are obviously curious about the things the doctors assumed we knew, about your previous injuries.” She peered down at me. “I’m guessing some stuff happened to you after you and James lost touch but before I met you?”
“It wasn’t…wasn’t—” I closed my eyes. Dammit! When I’d woken from my coma eleven years ago, it had been like this. I could hear what I wanted to say in my head, but everything came out garbled. At least this time wasn’t as bad as all that. “Wasn’t secret. I would…have said. To James. Just never mannered. No. Mattered . Never mattered. I got…better.”
Maureen nodded. “We can talk about it later.” She picked up a glass with a straw in it from the nightstand. “Do you want to try some water, or do you think that will send you nosediving back into the trash can?” She held the straw to my lips. I took a small sip without feeling like it would come right back up. Progress. “If you need to use the bathroom, James will be back in a little while. But I can help if it’s urgent?”
“No. All…good for now.” Small mercies. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to withstand the indignity of Maureen having to lower me onto the toilet or, god forbid, pull my dick out for me. “James…gone?”
“Oh, yeah,” she said, still hushing her voice. “While you were sleeping, you missed all the excitement. Because apparently this weekend can’t be crazy enough. The building in the lot next to The Landslide caught fire. It’s been vacant, so I guess it took a while before anyone noticed and called it in. James volunteers with the fire department, so he went out on the call. He was super excited. It’s his first one.”
“Cool for him. Bad for…building.”
“Yep. Double-edged dagger for sure. He worried about leaving you, but Marley told him we can manage one invalid perfectly well on our own. Also, you’re going to be staying in this room for the next week, and you have zero chance of Marley taking no for an answer on that. And I suppose I’ll also be your nurse since Marley and James work tomorrow.”
Maureen was going to take care of me? “You…okay…when that. No. With that?”
“Of course. It’s at least partly my fault you got hurt.” She put up her hand to stop any protest I might make. “I know you don’t think so, but it’s how I feel. It’ll make me feel better to help.”
“Okay,” I murmured.
“It’s going to be different between us. You realize that, don’t you? We’re going to talk, and it’s going to be different. I meant what I said. I don’t want to be mad anymore.”
My lips twitched in what passed for a smile. Even that tiny move hurt. “Maybe…this…worth it then,” I said.
She rolled her eyes, not touching that. “Honestly, Will, you look so pale. The doctor said you turned her down for the stronger meds. Are you sure you don’t want me to call her back, get you a different prescription? You don’t need to be in pain like this.”
“No. You’ll understand…when I tell you…my accident.”
Maureen reached out and gripped my scarred hand in reply. I lay there, mesmerized, as she threaded our fingers together in what I was beginning to think of as her signature move.
Rosalyn had always been careful not to grab my injured hand. I assumed my former fiancée thought she was being sensitive, like the way you didn’t point out someone’s receding hairline or a big mole on their face. She never seemed to realize that being polite was for the rest of the world. When you love someone, it’s a different assignment. The person with the receding hairline or the mole—they wanted to know the person they loved saw the supposed flaw—saw it and loved them anyway. With Rosalyn, for two years, I never knew.
In the span of only a few days, I felt completely reassured Maureen didn’t care about my missing fingers. My scars. The sensation of her wrapping her warm palm around the reminders of the worst day of my life was the affirmation I’d needed for eleven years.
When I woke up the third time , James sat on a folding chair by my bedside. His large frame took up all the space in the tiny room. He had one leg crossed crookedly over the other, and his bearded face stared down at a crossword puzzle book in his lap, lit by a small penlight in the darkness.
He noticed me stir. “You’re awake.”
“Yeah.” My voice shook, but I felt a lot less dizzy compared to a few hours ago.
“Good thing. I was about to wake you since it’s been a while since the last time. Are you feeling better?”
“Headache is a bitch, but my thoughts are clearer.” Words were coming easier. Thank god for that. The last time, it had taken months for full cognition to return.
I figured it must be the middle of the night, judging by the pitch-black outside.
James’s next words confirmed it. “I pulled the night shift with you, bud. I wanted to. Because I’m so wired. I got to go out on a fire call tonight. Did I mention I volunteer with the department? It was mostly over by the time our truck got there, but I still came home totally amped. I knew I’d never sleep, so I sent the ladies to bed. I don’t think Maureen ever went to sleep last night. Except now that you’re up and don’t need to be woken again until six, I might try to catch a few Zzz’s.”
James’s babbling sounded like music to my ears. I loved this guy so much. I wished we hadn’t missed out on a decade of knowing one another. And it might have been the lingering drugs in my system, but my next thought was why not tell him ?
“James, I’m glad you’re here. Glad…we’re friends.”
He froze momentarily before smiling. “Me too.” But then, he pinched his chin and added, “Although I figure maybe I haven’t been as good of a friend to you as I ought to have been.”
“What are you talking about? You’ve been a…great friend.”
“I dunno. When we met again after such a long time, at the reunion, I was so impressed with the way you took down our old bullies. And you’re always so relaxed and cool, quick with the commentary. I guess I just assumed everything with you was good. Easy.” He blew out a deep breath, and I turned my head to see him better. His eyes were teary. “All night I kept thinking about how we haven’t talked much about what happened with you after high school. I know you said you had an accident—and that’s why you have a bum hand—but I don’t know the details. And I never asked more questions because I figured you just seem so collected. Like maybe there’s nothing to know. And why pick at scabs? But I should have. All the stuff the doctor said—I didn’t know any of it. This whole year, we’ve been talking and texting constantly. Except I’ve been focused on myself. First at the reunion. Then Marley. The engagement. But maybe I should have asked.” He paused again, longer this time. “So, I’m asking now. Will, my friend, are you okay?”
Feeling tears in my own eyes, I gathered my breath. I knew the words would be tough, and it felt important to get them right. “James, you are the…best friend I could have hoped for. There were…bad things after high school. Not all, but some. But I’m good now. I promise. This past year has been the best yet.” I thought of my apartment building. Being part of James’s wedding. Maureen. “Everything keeps…getting better.”
“Thank you for saying that.”
“Don’t…thank me yet. ’Cuz I’m gonna need you to help me pee.”
He laughed and reached out to assist me. It was slow going, but I managed to hook my legs over the side of the bed and stand without falling, being careful of my bruised hip, even though the room spun immediately. James walked me to the hall bathroom and sat me down on the toilet, stepping out while I did my business. When he brought me back to bed, I leaned back and realized the gold velveteen pillows were familiar.
Understanding dawned. “You brought my things?” I asked.
“Oh, um, yeah. I hope you don’t mind. We found the key card to your hotel room, and Marley went over to grab your stuff since you’re due to check out tomorrow anyway. She said to tell you thanks for being neat and tidy, which made her job easy. Maureen said to tell you it’s super high-maintenance to bring your own pillows to a hotel, and she reserves the right to make fun of you about it until the day you die.”
I snorted. “I can live with that.”
“I’ll bet,” James said, eyeing me carefully. “You wanna tell me what’s going on there? Because my fiancée is going to get it out of her sister soon.”
“Not yet, okay? Not until I talk to Maureen.”
“Understood.” James gathered up his puzzle book. “I’m gonna go lie down for a few. I have six classes to teach tomorrow, and I should get a nap if I can. Glad you’re feeling better.” He backed out of the room.
I fell asleep on my high-maintenance pillows, knowing I’d feel like hell tomorrow, but I smiled because Maureen would be the one staying with me.