Chapter 5 #2
“So happy to live in boring old Sugarville Grove instead of having the coolest job ever,” Cody said. “I guess that’s what happens when you get old.”
Roan chuckled. “That and an injury that could have paralyzed me. Puts thing into perspective.”
“That must have been scary,” Emma said, eyes wide.
“It was, yeah,” Roan said.
“This gym is yours?” Marcus asked.
“That’s right,” Roan said. “Just bought it.”
“Do you sleep here?” Marcus asked.
“No. I have a house,” Roan said. “The one I grew up in, actually.”
“He bought the gym from creepy Wayne,” Julia said darkly. “I hope he’s moving away.”
“Why do you say he’s creepy?” Reese asked.
“You have to ask?” Julia glared at Reese, as if she were a total idiot. “You had the business next to his.”
“He was a colorful character,” Reese said. “But harmless. At least it seemed that way to me.”
“Whatever.” Julia rolled her eyes. “Adults never see what’s right in front of them.”
Reese paled but continued. “Next question. Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or one hundred duck-sized horses? A is one horse-sized duck, B is one hundred duck-sized horses.”
“That’s not even a real question,” Cody said, but there was the tiniest hint of amusement in his voice.
“It is now,” Roan said. “Pick one.”
Paddles went up—a mix of colors. Emma held up green, laughing. “The little horses would be cute.”
‘What if they all launched themselves at you at once?” Marcus asked. “Like that story about all those Lilliputians in Gulliver’s Travels.”
“Yeah, that would hurt,” Cody said, raising blue. “I’ll go with the giant duck.”
“Think about how big that duck’s poop would be,” Marcus said. “Like if it was down at Little Bear Lake. The grass would be covered.”
“Gross,” Emma said.
All the kids laughed. Roan and Reese exchanged an amused glance.
By the third question—unlimited pizza or unlimited tacos—they were all participating without hesitation. Marcus raised blue for pizza immediately, looking toward the pizza table. Emma chose green for tacos. Julia picked blue for pizza. “I’ve been craving it constantly.”
“What are you having?” Emma asked. “Do you know?”
“A girl.” Julia’s expression softened fractionally. “Not that I wanted to know. The ultrasound tech just blurted it out.”
“A girl,” Emma repeated, a wistful note in her voice. “That’s really cool.”
“Are you keeping it?” Cody asked.
Julia twisted her napkin into a ball. “I don’t know yet. My parents kicked me out and I’m living with my grandmother. But she’s super frail and sickly. And she’s kind of a hoarder. There’s no room for me or a baby.”
“I don’t think you can be ‘kind of a hoarder,’” Cody said. “You’re either one or not.”
“Do you know someone who hoards?” Julia crossed her arms over her chest, eyes glittering.
“Nah.” Cody lifted one shoulder. “But I read about it.”
“Yeah, well, it’s not the greatest environment ever.
And I don’t know how I could take care of a baby on my own.
” Julia’s defenses dissolved, and Roan saw a terrified child about to have a child of her own.
“At first, I thought for sure I’d give her up but, now that I feel her kicking and moving around and I saw her on the ultrasound, it’s different. She’s my baby.”
“Giving your baby away would be really hard,” Emma said, a soft lilt in her tone. “I’m sorry you have to face such a hard decision.”
The girls smiled shyly at each other.
“Thanks for saying that.” Julia uncurled her napkin, pressing it against her knee. “Most people just look at me like I’m a disgrace. People in this town can be judgy.”
“People can be judgy everywhere,” Reese said. “But you get to decide what happens to your baby. Don’t let anyone tell you what to do. Only you’ll know which is the right choice for you and your child.”
Julia nodded, bottom lip trembling. “It’s hard to believe in myself right now. Like, what if I make the wrong choice and wreck her life. Either way.”
“You won’t wreck her life,” Reese said.
“How do you know?” Julia asked.
“You wouldn’t be thinking through it all so carefully if you weren’t up for the challenge,” Reese said. “I’ve learned in life that it’s best to trust your gut. You’ll know what to do when the time’s right.”
“Thanks,” Julia mumbled. “That’s nice of you to say.”
They moved through more questions. Talking to animals versus speaking every language.
Living where it’s always winter versus always summer.
Each question revealed insight into the young people in the room.
Marcus loved animals. Emma wanted to travel.
Cody would take eternal winter over summer without hesitation so that he could cross country ski everywhere he went.
“I used to go with my mom,” Cody said. “Before she died. We used to talk and stuff, then we’d eat a lunch she packed. Those are my favorite memories.”
Roan’s eyes stung. “Bittersweet, though, right?”
“Yeah, how do you know?” Cody asked.
“I lost my mom when I was just a little older than you,” Roan said. “It’s hard. I wish I could say you’d stop missing her as much, but that’s a lie.”
“What happened to her?” Cody asked.
“She had a heart condition,” Roan said. “Undiagnosed. She just didn’t wake up one day.”
“Oh, that’s awful,” Emma said. “I’m sorry—for both of you.”
“It’s okay,” Cody said without emotion. “Everyone says she’s in a better place.”
“I hate it when people say that,” Roan said. “Even if it’s true.”
“It’s just something people say,” Emma said. “Because they don’t know what else to do.”
“What happened to your mom?” Marcus asked Cody.
“Cancer. She was sick for two and a half years. The stuff they did to her made her sicker than the cancer.”
“That sucks,” Julia said. “I’m sorry.”
Cody nodded once, then looked down at his hands, still gripping his paddle. “Yeah. If my dad hadn’t fallen apart, I might still be with him at least. In our house.”
“My mom’s fallen apart too,” Emma said. “She doesn’t get out of bed some days. My dad has a girlfriend. That’s why he left. I mean, I guess.”
“Course he does,” Julia said. “Most men can’t be trusted. I learned that already. The guy who got me pregnant couldn’t run away fast enough. Pretended it wasn’t his. Told his parents I was sleeping with half the football team. And they believed him. So, here I am. All alone.”
“What a jerk,” Emma said.
“Yeah, I have great taste, obviously,” Julia said.
“My mom’s gone,” Marcus blurted out. “I don’t think she’s coming back either.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Reese asked.
“Not today. Maybe some other time,” Marcus said.
“Fair enough,” Reese said, looking once again at her phone. “Okay, this one’s a little deeper. Would you rather have more time or more money? A is more time, B is more money.”
All four kids immediately raised green paddles. Money.
Roan and Reese raised blue. Time.
“Why money?” Reese asked. “Anyone want to share?”
Emma answered first, her paddle still raised.
“Because time doesn’t matter if you can’t afford to do anything with it.
” Her voice was matter-of-fact, but anger flickered in her eyes.
“My parents fight about money constantly. Everything’s about finances.
Who pays for what? Who gets the house? Who pays for my college?
My mom stopped working when she had me, and now she’s probably going to have to get some awful job because my dad’s saying he won’t give her a dime. ” She lowered her paddle to her lap.
“Your mom needs help,” Reese said. “Do you think you could encourage her to go to therapy? It might be a way for her to work through her feelings of abandonment.”
Roan’s stomach churned with guilt. Had Reese had to go to therapy after he left? From the way she said it, he guessed yes.
Marcus spoke next, his voice soft, paddle clutched in both hands. “Money means not wondering where you’re sleeping. Or if there’s food tomorrow.” He said it without self-pity, just stating facts.
Julia placed her paddle over her stomach. “Money means I could get an apartment of my own. Take care of my baby without living off my grandma’s social security. Actually go to college like I planned.”
“Are you talking to your parents at all?” Emma asked. “Will they come around, do you think?”
“Nah. My mother’s furious. My dad’s ashamed, ” Julia said. “Grandma’s the only one still speaking to me in the family, but she’s not exactly happy I’m living there.” Julia sniffed, dabbing at the corners of her eyes with the rumpled napkin. “But whatever. I’ll figure it out.”
“You will,” Emma said, reaching out to squeeze Julia’s hand. “You’re super smart.”
“Why do you say that?” Julia asked.
“I had debate class with you last year,” Emma said. “You were always the best one. Quick on your feet.”
“Oh, well, thanks. That was a fun class.” Julia looked up at the ceiling for a moment, taking in a deep breath. “I wanted to go to law school.”
“You still can, just maybe not on the same timeline as you thought,” Reese said. “Even if it seems impossible right now, you can’t give up on your dreams.”
“Yeah, we’ll see,” Julia said.
“Cody?” Reese asked, turning toward him. “What about you?”
They all looked at Cody, waiting. He stared at his half-eaten pizza, his paddle slack in his hand.
“If my dad hadn’t lost his job, I might not be in the system. After my mom died, my dad started drinking. Lost his job. Lost our house. Lost custody of me. The state took me and stuck me in a foster home.” He looked up, his eyes hard. “So yeah. Money.”
“Roan, why’d you pick time?” Julia asked.
Roan glanced at Reese, then back at Julia. “I’d give anything to see my mom one more time. Talk to her. Tell her I love her.”
The kids were all still, watching Roan.
“When you’re my age, you realize how fast it all goes,” Roan said. “And you look back on mistakes you made and wish you could go back and fix them.”
“But you can’t,” Julia said.
“That’s right,” Roan said.