Chapter Four

C annon and Jesse stopped at the last house on the list. It was an older farmhouse set back from the road. The house was dark except for one small light in the window. Jesse knocked.

A faint voice called to come in, and Cannon opened the door, checking the room before he let Jesse in. He may be in a stupid Santa suit and a white beard, but he wasn’t allowing her to enter a room he hadn’t checked.

The front room had a rocker that sat beside a roaring fire. The only other piece of furniture in the room was a dusty piano.

“I’m back here,” a voice called from the hall. Jesse didn’t wait for him but walked on back. He’d been irritated when he was partnered with Jesse. They were like oil and water if they were together. If he said yes, then she would answer no, which wouldn’t bother him if he didn’t find her so stinkin’ attractive. Even in those shapeless pink coveralls she wore in the garage, he had to fight his attraction. No matter what, he wasn’t going there with her. It would only end in disaster.

Locks would either hate him or kill him for ruining his little girl because Cannon had specific tastes and any woman who was with him needed to follow his directions.

“Merry Christmas, Mrs. Hall.”

He followed Jesse into a large farmhouse kitchen. A woman who looked to be in her late eighties, possibly nineties, sat at the table with a plate of cookies and mugs of hot cocoa.

“Merry Christmas, Jesse. Did you get the short stick tonight?”

Jesse leaned over, giving the woman a hug. “You know I had to fight my sisters to get your house. I knew you’d have your snickerdoodles waiting with hot cocoa. Mrs. Hall, this is Cannon, one of our new teammates at the Santa Slay MC.”

Jesse sat down and kicked the other chair out for Cannon.

“Merry Christmas! Aren’t you a cute one? Even those fake beards can’t disguise how cute you are. Now take it off so you can enjoy a cookie.”

Cannon sat the presents down and slipped his beard off. Taking a seat, he selected a cookie and took a bite. Soft and chewy sugar and cinnamon melted in his mouth.

“They’re even better if you dip them in your hot cocoa.” Jesse demonstrated, then groaned at the taste. Life was definitely not fair tonight with the lovely Jesse giving him a hard-on while sitting at a table with a gray-haired lady.

“I know you’re on a schedule, so here’s what you’re taking back.” She handed Cannon an envelope.

“Mrs. Hall, you know that’s not why we come. We like to see you and drop off your gifts since you refuse to come to Christmas lunch with us.”

Cannon was trying to figure out exactly what was going on.

“You’re not eating more cookies, so why don’t you open the card? Youth is wasted on the young. He’s just sitting there like a lump on a log.”

Jesse’s eyes danced at the woman’s words, but Cannon was a tad offended. He was trying to be nice and not eat all the cookies because they were awesome. Mrs. Hall gave him the same look he’d seen Regina give before. It was that look saying do what I say or else. He slid his finger under the flap, opening the card that said Merry Christmas and Do Some Good With This . He glanced back up, and she motioned to open the folded check. He opened it, stunned at the amount, and handed it to Jesse.

Why were they doing a late night drop off of presents for someone who just wrote out a check for fifty thousand dollars to Kathryn’s Wings?

“Oh, Mrs. Hall. Do you know how many people we’ll be able to help with this? Thank you so much.” Jesse patted Mrs. Hall’s hand.

“When you’re old and you’ve outlived your children, you have money to help others. If you can keep one person from having what happened to my Julia happen to them, it will be worth it.”

Jesse stood up and leaned over to hug Mrs. Hall. “Can I do anything else for you, Mrs. Hall, before we go?”

She nodded and motioned to the front room. “Will you play Silent Night on the piano before you go?”

Jesse gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Always, Mrs. Hall. I’d love to see you at lunch tomorrow. Let me know if you want one of us to pick you up.”

Mrs. Hall nodded, and Cannon followed Jesse out to the front room. Jesse opened the key lid as she pulled the bench out to sit down. She sat there a second before playing the first notes of the song. Then she started singing along.

Cannon didn’t think he’d ever heard a clearer or more beautiful voice singing. He listened to her sing the words and closed his eyes. The notes rang through the room, and he remembered Christmas Eve services with his grandma where the lights would be dimmed, and they would all hold candles. As they sang the song, each person would pass the light along to the next person.

It had been years since he’d been in a church, but listening to Jesse sing brought back those wonderful memories of staying at his grandma’s house. Usually at least two or three times a year, his dad would decide he’d had enough and couldn’t deal with Cannon. Not that he did that much for Cannon when his dad had him. Cannon never knew where they’d be bedding down or if there would be food. His dad would drop him at his grandma’s, and for as long as he was there, he had a bed, food, and love in his life.

Jesse finished and motioned Cannon to go out the door.

“Do we need to do anything else?”

Jesse walked back to the bike, their feet crunching on the gravel. “No, she’s probably crying and won’t want us to see that. She was our piano teacher growing up and her daughter was Sarah’s age. Her daughter usually played the piano and led the singing at the town’s tree lighting.”

Cannon got on his bike and waited for Jesse to settle behind him. He started up the bike and guided it back onto the road. He wasn’t sure what to say. She hadn’t needed their money for presents. She’d needed the connection of another human letting her know she mattered just for a little while. They’d shared cocoa and cookies. He hoped she joined them for lunch tomorrow because he’d like to get to know her better. She reminded him of his grandma when she was alive. She’d lived to see him graduate from the police academy but died from pneumonia the following winter.

After she was gone, his family had become the men he worked with. He wasn’t sure where his dad was, and he didn’t care.

“Where to next?” Jesse had been in charge of the schedule.

“Back to the barn to drop off the suits and cuts, then we’re done for the night.”

He’d dreaded being with Jesse, but seeing her with Mrs. Hall had shown him a different side of her. She irritated him constantly, but he could see the good in her. Maybe too much because he needed to keep it platonic. No wanting and fantasizing about the hot mechanic who was the daughter of an original and one of his club brothers. Thinking about any type of relationship with her wasn’t in the cards for him. He was better off alone.

Jesse was quiet on the ride back. Cannon didn’t know if he should be worried or thankful. She’d chatted the whole evening, so hearing the silence was unnerving.

He parked his bike and waited for her to get off. Then he followed her into the barn, trying to keep his eyes off her butt cupped in her tight jeans. Maybe he did actually like the shapeless overalls because Jesse, without them, was too tempting.

He took his Santa suit off and put it where Jesse motioned. She took off her cut and laid it inside a red tote, then picked up his and did the same.

“Did you drive here, or do you need a ride to your house?”

Cannon wanted to kick himself for asking the question, but no matter how much Jesse made his blood boil, he couldn’t, in good conscience, not make sure she got safely home. If she was his sister, he’d want someone to make sure she was okay. Sure, she was a strong, fierce woman, but that didn’t mean she didn’t need someone to look after her.

If he thought the price would be worth what he’d gain, he’d love to see if their coming together would be as fiery as he imagined, but it wasn’t to be. He liked his control. No, he was lying to himself. The vagabond lifestyle he’d lived as a kid had created his need for control in everything, but especially in the bedroom. He needed a woman who knew how to follow directions and wanted him in control. He wished Jesse was that woman.

She intrigued him, and he couldn’t get enough of her scent. Who knew the scent of warm woman and motor oil would be something he’d come to crave?

JESSE DEBATED ANSWERING Cannon. Each second around him had become torture. She’d been attracted to him from the first, but he rubbed her the wrong way. She’d fought to be accepted in what was basically a man’s world. She wouldn’t settle for anyone less than someone who supported her job.

Sure, she wanted a family someday, but she could have both a family and a career. Her mom had done it and pioneered it when women still weren’t allowed their own checking account or credit account. If her mom could do it despite the odds against her, Jesse knew she could too.

If only everything about Cannon didn’t make her want to know more. Watching him interact with the families and kids tonight had shown her a kinder, sweeter Cannon than she normally saw. She didn’t understand how one man could make her want to climb him like a tree while at the same time wonder if the next time he opened his mouth her blood would boil in anger.

She’d actually avoided going into the gun shop after he’d smarted off about her not knowing about what type of gun she was looking for. She had known, but sometimes she got so tongue-tied in his presence she couldn’t say what she wanted.

“I rode with Winnie. I’ll just wait until she gets back.”

“That’s stupid. I’ll take you home.”

And there again was one of the times she just wanted to wrap duct tape around his head a couple times. Duct tape did fix a lot of issues. He could have just offered to take her home, but instead, he denigrated her choice.

“I’m trying to figure out why you can’t be civil when we talk. You seem to have no problem with other people, plus you were a police officer, so I know you have to have tact. Why am I the exception? What is it about me that makes you think it’s okay to act like a jerk to me?”

Jesse turned to walk away because she was done. If the snowplow wasn’t covering the entrance to the tunnels, she’d probably open the hatch and push him in to get him out of her sight.

Why did the one man who fascinated her have to be such a jerk to her? Sometimes she’d think she’d see a hint of interest in his eyes, then he’d cut her down with his words. It was like he had two personalities. The one he showed to everyone else and the one he reserved for her.

She’d have to figure out how to deal with it because unless he transferred to the Texas Chapter she would be never get rid of him. She loved her home, her job, and her sisters. No one was driving her away.

A hand grasped her arm and turned her back around. A shiver slid down her spine at his touch, despite her anger still boiling inside.

His hand ghosted across her cheek, then his fingers tunneled into her hair, gripping her hair and tilting her head to the side. She had seconds to feel his warm breath on her face, then his lips took hers. There wasn’t any other way to describe it besides a claiming.

The barn and the smell of the cool night air fell away, and all she could concentrate on was him. His touch and how it made every nerve in her body stand up and scream, “Yes!”.

Cannon’s kiss didn’t coax. He took, but his taste was something she knew she could come to crave. When he finally pulled his lips away, her breath was sawing in and out of her chest and her heart was pounding.

“I act like a jerk because if I don’t, I’m not sure I can keep my hands off you.”

His disgust for himself confused her.

“And that’s a bad thing?”

If he was answering her questions, then she was asking all her burning ones.

“It’s bad when I don’t want to screw up the place where I finally feel at home. I don’t do relationships, sweet cheeks, and you have relationship written all over you. You want the house, the husband, the kids, the dog, the picket fence. Isn’t that what every woman is searching for? I’m not sure we’re on the same path. If we’d met somewhere else, I would have given us both a hot time, but that’s not how we met. I have to consider my brothers.”

Sure, she did eventually want kids because she loved them. If she wanted a dog, a huge Maine Coon cat, fainting goat, pig, ferret or whatever, she didn’t need a man to get one. She had a house and hadn’t designed it with a picket fence. Heck, if she wanted a fence for her kids, she would darn well do something sturdier and taller than a picket fence. It was a tad egotistical that he thought he knew her wants and dreams when they’d never discussed anything. Did she want a man? Yes. Was she actively desperately seeking one because she didn’t feel complete? No. Did she eventually want what her parents had? Yes, with her whole heart, but their relationship had been more than her mother needing a man. It had been about finding the other piece of their hearts.

“So, let me let you in on a little secret. I don’t need a man to achieve my dreams. Sure, they are nice to have around on occasion, but my whole be-all and end-all includes a lot more than a warm body. I want someone who appreciates me for the woman I am and what I’ve achieved. Heck, if it’s only an orgasm I need, my battery-operated boyfriend will do just fine. Would I love to find someone to have the love my parents had? Yes. Do I think you fit the bill? No. You’d be great for a one-and-done, but your attitude for the long haul isn’t what I’m looking for. How about you go back to the clubhouse, and I’ll find my own way home. I was feeling wonderful about this Christmas Eve until you decided to crap all over my happy vibe.”

Cannon had the strangest look on his face. On anyone else, she’d label it as bemusement, but Cannon wouldn’t be confused with anything. He’d be too busy trying to refute everything she said to fit her into the little box he thought she fit in. She’d spent her whole adult life breaking the barriers others had set for her as a female mechanic. Some hot, ex-policeman who ran the gun range wasn’t going to put her back inside where he thought she belonged.

“I’m sorry.”

She waited as he started to speak after his apology, then stopped. So he said he was sorry. He probably just wanted to smooth their relationship over so she wouldn’t complain to her dad. What he obviously didn’t get is she fought her own battles. She wouldn’t do anything to come between the brothers of the MC unless she deemed it was a risk for an innocent. Cannon hurting her feelings didn’t warrant that.

“I may have misjudged you. I didn’t have any good female role models growing up besides my grandmother every once in a while. It’s not an excuse but more an explanation of where I’m coming from. Watching how Regina interacts with everyone has helped me see women in a different light, but tonight isn’t the first time I’ve misjudged a woman. I’m deeply sorry and hope you can forgive me. If you can’t, I’ll understand. I’d like to give you a ride back to your house if you’d allow it.”

Jesse wondered if he actually meant the words or was trying to smooth over their relationship so it didn’t hurt the MC. Even she could see despite rubbing on her last nerve, Cannon was loyal and would do anything for the men he called his brothers.

“Okay, but you can take me to the clubhouse. I’m actually staying the night there. I promised Regina I’d be up at four to help put the turkey in and prep a couple other items. We’re not doing a separate Christmas get together. We’re all opening presents at the clubhouse.”

He nodded and motioned around the room. “Anything else we need to do?”

“No, Winnie and Rascal are assigned to putting away the suits and Sarah will take the tote of cuts. She’ll sew the Santa sacks with the year on them sometime after the New Year before she stores them.”

She followed Cannon out to his bike, admiring the fit of his jeans. His butt and thighs were covered in denim, and for the thousandth time she wished they could be more, but it wasn’t to be.

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