Chapter Fourteen
As soon as our eyes met, Shiv turned to leave but Elsie grabbed her arm, shaking her head before guiding her through the chairs and tables towards me.
A sharp stab of guilt cut through my guts, every instinct in me telling me to run, but there was nowhere to go unless it was through the window or into the fire.
‘If it isn’t my brother’s beloved.’
I should’ve chucked myself into the fire.
Elsie loomed over me, a shark-like smile on her face, the one that said behold, my worthy adversary. I didn’t want to be her adversary, I didn’t want to be her anything, I wanted to drink my drink and eat my steak, be vaguely obnoxious until Boxing Day then go home and never, ever see her again.
‘Caroline, you must meet my friend, Siobhan. Siobhan, this is Caroline …’ She paused for maximum effect. ‘Cal’s new girlfriend.’
‘Pleased to meet you.’
The blonde held out a hand that looked as though it would rather poke around in a bin full of broken glass than make physical contact but, to her credit, she met my firm handshake with one of her own before snatching her hand away and shoving it into the back pocket of her jeans.
The three of us were still staring at each other in silence, three points of the world’s most pass-agg triangle, when Callum sauntered back from the bar.
He spotted the scene and stopped so abruptly, whisky splashed out of the glasses in his hands.
‘Elsie,’ he said, his face grim. ‘Shiv.’
‘Cal,’ Siobhan replied.
‘Caroline,’ I added, just in case.
Callum set down both glasses then wiped his palms against his jeans.
‘Just came over to say hello,’ Shiv said, already looking away, swiping at a watering eye. ‘We’ll leave you to your evening.’
‘Unless you’d like us to join you?’ Elsie grabbed the back of an empty chair from an occupied table without asking if it was free and pulled it up next to me. ‘Looks like there’s just enough room at the inn.’
‘For Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the donkey,’ I muttered under my breath.
‘Come on, Elsie, I’m sure they’d rather be on their own.’ Shiv tugged on her friend’s sleeve but it was too late, she was already down and perusing the menu.
‘Everything looks so good,’ she said, smacking her lips. She looked up at her brother who was still on his feet and offered a syrupy smile. ‘Don’t you think, Cal?’
‘Sit down,’ he said to Shiv, pulling out a chair for her before lowering himself into his own. ‘It’s nice to see you.’
‘Is it?’ She sounded hard, brittle even. ‘I’d have thought you’d be at home.’
‘Because most people who hadn’t visited their parents in a year would choose to spend the evening with them,’ Elsie said. ‘Should’ve taken into account this is you we’re talking about.’
The sharpest knife in the world couldn’t have sliced through the tension at our table. A diamond-tipped chainsaw might’ve done it but there were no guarantees.
Elsie prodded the full glass of whisky that wasn’t already in her brother’s hand. ‘Who’s this for? If she doesn’t drink?’
‘Who’s she?’ I replied, cradling my Scottish coffee, warm and precious and full of secret booze. ‘The cat’s mother?’
‘You don’t strike me as a cat person. Getting more dog vibes. When I look at you, I definitely think bitch.’
‘Elsie!’
It was Shiv who admonished her. Callum only sat back in his chair, his jaw clenched, granite solid.
‘It’s for Graham,’ I replied lightly, as though no offence had been implied. ‘But since you’re clearly in desperate need of a drink, why don’t you have it? I’ll get him another.’
‘I’m not desperate,’ she said with a scoff.
‘Really?’ I batted my eyelashes sweetly. ‘You mean you always behave like this?’
She grinned, showing too many teeth, her eyes gleaming.
‘It has been a particularly bad day, now I think about it. I’m having trouble with a new heifer. She doesn’t realise she’s destined for the slaughterhouse.’
‘That does sound annoying. Have you tried sitting down and talking to her for two minutes? She’ll probably run down there of her own accord.’
It was a direct hit. Elsie’s expression didn’t change but she flinched, very slightly.
‘I’m going to the bar,’ Shiv announced. ‘Elsie, will you come with me?’
‘No.’
What a great friend she was.
It was obvious Elsie and Callum were related – same colouring, same tall stature – but looking at them side by side, they could have almost been twins.
As well as their auburn hair, they shared an identical strong, straight nose and the same almond-shaped eyes that tilted downwards at the corners.
Her mouth was smaller and her lips fuller, but she had more lines and freckles, despite being the younger sibling.
There was no doubt that the McClay genes ran strong, at least as far as physical appearance went.
‘For fuck’s sake, Elsie,’ Callum hissed as soon as his ex was out of earshot. ‘Go and sit somewhere else. You’re torturing poor Shiv.’
‘And what about Caroline?’ When she glanced over at me, I wondered if she’d ever experienced a genuine, pleasant emotion in her entire life. ‘Or are you not worried about hurting her feelings?’
‘Caroline can hold her own,’ I said. ‘Don’t worry about me.’
‘No one is worried about you,’ she assured me, a quick flick over her shoulder.
As brother and sister bickered between themselves, I leaned back in my chair, nursing what was left of my spiked coffee.
With every second I spent in his family’s company, Callum’s rationale for not wanting to come home became clearer and clearer.
Before I thought I was doing him a favour; now I realised I was performing community service.
‘Here we are, two steak and chips.’
Graham presented my dinner with a deep bow, leaning in to loudly whisper in my ear. ‘Don’t touch his, I pished on it.’
‘Funny-looking vegan steak,’ Elsie said as he strolled away, the sight and smell of the succulent beef almost enough to bring me to tears.
‘I’m only eating the chips.’ I choked out the words, the thought of losing my precious hunk of cow making me shake with grief. ‘Both steaks are for Callum. He needs the protein.’
‘He needs a slap.’
She grunted into the pint of whatever it was Shiv put down in front of her when she returned from the bar, shuffling her seat as far away from Callum as she could without launching herself into the fire.
In my pocket, I felt my phone buzz.
‘I’m going to the loo,’ I declared, standing so quickly my chair almost tipped over. ‘Does anyone want anything from the bar while I’m up? No? Good.’
Hobbling down a passageway to back of the pub, I opened my texts to find a new message in the group chat.
Have they Wicker Man-ed you yet?
I shuffled down the narrow hallway, tapping out a furious reply, and pressed send.
Filled with righteous anger at Elsie’s abhorrent behaviour, I forced open a heavy door, only to be spat out into the still and silent night.
It was beyond cold, absolutely bitter, but the chill felt good on my rage-fired skin and I turned my face up to an endless map of stars.
‘Looking for an escape?’
Off to my left, emerging from behind a row of wheelie bins, Graham appeared, packet of cigarettes in one hand, lighter in the other. He held the pack out to me but I declined, shaking my head.
‘Hardly,’ I said with a smile. ‘Not in my line of work.’
‘Didnae realise massage therapists were particularly anti-smoking,’ he said, tucking both items back into the pocket of his apron. Even though it was well below freezing, he was still in his shorts and T-shirt, not so much as a goosebump visible on his skin.
‘Yes, very much so.’ I nodded feverishly, the tip of my nose already numb. ‘Lymphatic drainage and all that.’
‘Never had any trouble draining my lymphs.’
‘I can imagine.’
It was almost impossible to resist his broad grin and I was quite sure he wasn’t lying.
‘So,’ I said, trying to be tactful. ‘What’s the story with Callum and Shiv?’
He laughed, green eyes disappearing into full cheeks. Not so tactful after all.
‘You don’t mess about, do you?’ he replied. ‘Straight to the point, I like that. But it’s not my place. I don’t want to get into trouble with Cal.’
‘If he’s still in love with her, I want to know.’
If only to satisfy my curiosity, I added to myself.
‘Ahh, Caroline.’ He kicked a pebble and I watched it bounce along the uneven ground, settling at the edge of a dark puddle. ‘What makes you say that?’
‘Women’s intuition?’
He eyed the door behind me as though he was expecting someone to burst through at any second and catch him saying something he shouldn’t.
‘If he wanted to be with her, he’d be with her,’ he said. ‘Isn’t that what they say?’
‘I don’t know,’ I replied. ‘Is it?’
‘All I know is, Cal and Shiv were boyfriend and girlfriend before we even knew what it meant.’ He scratched the back of his neck, squinting as he spoke, as though deliberating how much of the story I needed to know.
‘Everyone around here thought they’d be together forever because they’d always been together forever, and nobody was more sure than our Shiv.
I’ll never forget the look on Cal’s face on careers day when our teacher went round the class, asked everyone what we wanted to do when we left school, and Shiv said they were going to be laird and lady of Balmaclay. ’
‘Wait, the McClays aren’t actually aristocracy, are they?’ I asked, suddenly feeling a little bit nauseous. What if it wasn’t just a turn of phrase?
He threw his head back in a throaty guffaw. ‘No, hen. A laird isn’t the same thing as a lord, it means something closer to landowner. You can tell the actual nobility apart from the rest of us easy enough. I’ve never met a duke with a Scottish accent, they all sound like you.’
‘Like they grew up outside Nottingham?’
‘Like they went to school in England,’ he clarified. ‘Because most of them did. No, Balmaclay might be a grand house and Lizzie has her airs and graces but the McClays are farmers down to the bone. All of them except Cal, that is.’