Chapter Fifteen
Caroline went back to the inn and changed into a cashmere sweater and beige slacks. She bought a bottle of chardonnay at the Aspen Grog Shop, and a slab of Gruyère cheese at the Meat & Cheese Restaurant and Farm Shop. Anne would have adored the farm store. The shelves were stocked with wooden paté boards and marble rolling pins. There were jars of bourbon maple syrup and goat’s milk caramels and moonshine cookies.
A pang formed in Caroline’s throat and she wished again that she and Daphne had accompanied their mother to Aspen last summer. They could have taken home chili sauce and raspberry jalape?o jam.
When she arrived at the Queen Anne mansion on Walnut Street, Max was lying on the sofa in the sunroom. A few books sat on the side table, next to a pile of towels and an ice pack.
“My mother and Helen are out. Lily is taking care of me,” Max said, trying to put on a smile. “She’s in the kitchen making a salad. She read that leafy vegetables have nutrients to help my ankle heal faster.”
“Does it hurt?” Caroline asked.
“Only when I move it.” Max winced. “I wish it made for a better story. You know, I was skiing Aspen/Snowmass’s hardest run, Hanging Valley Headwall, and someone ran into me. Instead, I was standing on a ladder trying to put back an ornament that had fallen off a Christmas tree.”
“You were doing it for Lily,” Caroline reminded him.
Max beamed. “I assured her it wasn’t her fault and she’s taking wonderful care of me. We’re reading her favorite books. We read The Polar Express and we just started Anne of Green Gables. ”
Caroline went into the kitchen to get wineglasses. Lily was standing on a chair at the counter. She was washing a bunch of kale.
“Would you like help?” Caroline asked.
Lily shook her head. “I’m used to not being very tall. You didn’t meet my father. He was only here for a day, he had to go back to Los Angeles. He’s a surgeon at UCLA and he’s not tall either. But he never let it hold him back.”
“I’m sure you’ll accomplish anything you set your mind on.” Caroline nodded.
“I’m glad you’re here. Max is a grumpy patient,” Lily continued. “The kale will make the swelling go down faster, and I found some chia seeds. They help build strong muscles.”
Caroline took two wineglasses from the cabinet. She noticed a red envelope on the table. It was like the envelope Anne had received from Santa’s Little Red Mailbox.
“I’m writing letters from Santa to my mom and dad, and Grandma and Max.” Lily followed Caroline’s gaze.
“But it’s only two days after Christmas,” Caroline replied, puzzled. “The letters won’t be delivered until next Christmas.”
Lily jumped down from the chair.
“I have to mail them now, I’m not coming back to Aspen until summer.” Her small forehead puckered. “Last summer when I was here, Santa’s Little Red Mailbox was stuffed with letters. I don’t want to miss out.”
“You were here last summer?”
Lily nodded. “I love summer in Aspen. Max took me swimming, and Grandma and I saw children’s plays at the outdoor theater.”
“My mother was here for the writers’ conference.”
“Do you have a picture of her?” Lily asked. “Aspen is so small, maybe I saw her.”
Caroline searched through her phone and handed it to Lily.
“I did see her!” Lily exclaimed. “She used to come into the used bookstore on Cooper Avenue. I went there all the time with my grandma. I remember your mother because she and the girl behind the counter talked for ages. And your mother wore the prettiest sandals.”
Anne loved buying beautiful shoes. It was one of her indulgences.
A thrill surged through Caroline. Perhaps Anne and her lover had visited the bookstore together. She’d have to go and ask the salesgirl.
“Is the bookstore open over Christmas week?” Caroline asked.
“It’s open three hundred and sixty-four days a year,” Lily said knowledgeably. “The owner believes that books are more important than anything.”
Caroline and Max and Lily read Anne of Green Gables. Lily had hot apple cider and Caroline and Max drank glasses of wine. They toasted marshmallows in front of the fireplace, and Lily announced she had a name for her new guinea pig. She was going to call him Rudolph, because he was the best Christmas present she ever had.
“Better than a goldfish?” Caroline asked, as she was leaving.
“Much better,” Lily declared. “Rudolph lets me pet him. The goldfish slipped away when I put my hand in the fishbowl.”
After Caroline left, she walked down Cooper Avenue to Aspen Used Books. It was empty inside but the lights were on.
“Are you open?” Caroline asked, peeking in the door.
The girl glanced up from the cash register. She was in her early twenties with thick, dark hair.
“Until nine p.m.” The girl nodded. “Can I help you find something?”
Caroline shook her head. She didn’t want to start by asking questions. First, she’d buy some books.
A display table held paperbacks with worn covers. There was a bookcase where the books were shelved by genre, and a counter stacked with old comic books.
Caroline could see why her mother had come here often. She loved used books, they had a history. Once she bought a book from a used bookstore in New York and discovered a familiar-sounding name scrawled on a hotel napkin. She traced the napkin back to the previous owner of the book. It turned out she was a Broadway actress. The actress wanted to write her autobiography and Anne ended up becoming her agent.
Caroline selected a Judy Blume book for Lily, and a book of Maya Angelou poems for herself.
“I have a question,” Caroline said after she had paid for the books. “My mother was here in June. I wonder if you worked here.”
“I’ve worked here every summer since I was sixteen.” The girl smiled. “My mother is the owner.”
Caroline took out her phone and showed her a photo of Anne.
“I do remember her,” the girl said. “We had a long conversation about Toni Morrison. I hadn’t read any of her books and your mother said I was missing out.”
“Did she ever come in with a man?” Caroline asked.
The girl shook her head. “She did say she was buying some books as gifts.”
Caroline’s pulse beat faster. “Do you remember what they were?”
“We keep records of the books we sell.” The girl clicked on her computer. “If you give me the dates she was here, I can look it up.”
Caroline gave her the dates of the writers’ conference in June.
“On June eighth, she bought French Lessons: Adventures with Knife, Fork, and Corkscrew by Peter Mayle, and White Teeth by Zadie Smith.”
French Lessons must have been for Daphne. White Teeth had been for Caroline.
“Is that all?” she asked, trying not to show her disappointment.
“On June tenth she bought a biography of Abraham Lincoln and a book on the Civil War.”
Anne wasn’t interested in war. The book on the Civil War must have been for Anne’s lover.
A lightness filled Caroline’s chest. She pictured her mother debating which book to buy. Then she would have laughed and handed both copies to the salesgirl. One could never have too many books.
Caroline thanked her and walked back to the hotel. The ornaments in the shop windows seemed brighter, and even the stars on the lampposts had an extra shine. She couldn’t wait until New Year’s Eve. To talk to a man who had been in love with Anne. Someone who had been with her during the last summer when she was happy and alive.
Caroline imagined them sitting in a coffee shop together, drinking lemonades and reading their books. Afterward, they would have taken a stroll through Aspen Meadows, or sat in the inn’s outdoor Jacuzzi.
When she reached her hotel room, she texted Daphne. It would be nice to see Daphne and tell her what she discovered. But Daphne texted back that she and Luke were at Ullr Nights at Elk Camp. They wouldn’t return until midnight.
Caroline let out a deep sigh. She was too wound up to go to sleep, but she didn’t feel like going out. She changed into a robe and curled up on the bed. Then she picked up Nina’s next letter and started reading.
Dear Anne,
I spoiled myself today, I went to SoHo and bought a Christmas tree! It’s not very tall, my apartment is tiny and I’ve no one besides your girls to buy presents for. But I love seeing it in the living room. I even went to the local Duane Reade pharmacy and bought ornaments and a star for the top of the tree.
One of the wonderful things about Vermont had been the Christmas trees. The tree lots were full of them, or you could go into the woods and chop down a tree yourself. Everything about Christmas in Vermont was like a postcard. Towns with quaint main streets. Horse-drawn carriages and sleds pulled by real reindeer.
The first day that James arrived at the farm, I thought everything would be all right.
Teddy and James were both New York Giants fans and they watched the football game on television. James produced a delicious wine from the trunk of his car to accompany the premade chicken that I discovered in the fridge. After dinner, we all piled into James’s car and drove the short distance to town to see the Christmas lights.
James really was sweet, I could tell that Teddy liked him. They even planned to go snowshoeing. The next morning, James made maple syrup pancakes for everyone and then Teddy went to run some errands.
“You don’t have a Christmas tree,” James said to me.
We had just finished doing the dishes and were standing in the living room.
I gulped. How could Margaret have forgotten to get a Christmas tree? Teddy’s car was so small, we couldn’t use it to pick up a tree.
“My editor thought it would be fun for the contest winner to pick out the Christmas tree,” I said hastily. “But you’re driving that beautiful car. I can call a Christmas tree lot and have it delivered.”
“It will be more fun to choose it ourselves.” James shook his head. “I’ll put it on top of the car, I have some rope in the trunk. I’m good at knots, I was a Boy Scout.”
Of course James had been a Boy Scout! I was glad that Teddy wasn’t there. He didn’t need to hear another thing to add to James’s list of accomplishments.
“I have an even better idea.” James kept talking. “Why don’t we chop a tree down ourselves. I’m sure there’s a saw in the barn.”
“You want to get a tree from the forest?”
It was one thing to go with James to a crowded Christmas tree lot, but I didn’t think Teddy would approve of us going into the woods together. Not that Teddy had any say in the matter. I heard him talking to his mother on the phone about Saint Kitts. Dolly had been invited and she insisted that Teddy go too. If Teddy had put up some resistance, I might have forgiven him. I was tired of him putting his mother first. But at the same time, I couldn’t blame him. Even if he was telling the truth about what happened with Gwendolyn, an invitation to a Caribbean island did sound enticing. Especially when we were in Vermont, where it was so cold your cheeks felt frozen.
And Teddy and James and I had to spend the week together. I wanted everyone to get along.
“I used to chop down the tree every Christmas that we were at the cabin in the Adirondacks,” James said.
We drove into the woods and picked out a large white spruce tree. It was one of the most beautiful trees I had ever seen. After that, we stopped at the general store and bought all the Christmas ornaments left on the shelves. I made a quick stop at the candy store and bought a packet of Teddy’s favorite nougats. He wouldn’t be happy when he saw the tree, and he had a serious sweet tooth.
Teddy still wasn’t back when we arrived at the farm, so we decorated the tree ourselves. It really was stunning. Blue and silver ornaments, glass balls, and a glittering gold star.
James was stringing the branches with tinsel when I heard a car drive up. I ran outside. I wanted to tell Teddy about the tree before he saw it.
“There you are.” Teddy walked toward me. “I have a surprise for you.”
“What kind of surprise?” I asked anxiously.
“I felt bad for complaining about coming to the farm. James is a decent guy, and it’s nice to be out of New York. The fresh air alone is worth it. I know how much you wanted a Christmas tree this year, so I thought I’d make it up to you.”
My landlady in New York wouldn’t let me have a Christmas tree, and Teddy refused to get one for his apartment. He didn’t like pine needles on his carpet.
“You didn’t have to do anything,” I replied. “In fact, I have a surprise for you.”
“Let me tell you mine first.” His eyes danced. “Look inside the car.”
I peered in the window. A small Christmas tree was jammed into the back seat.
“There weren’t many trees left at the lot, so I got a good price,” Teddy said proudly. “Then I went to the general store but some young couple had bought all the ornaments. I had to drive to Burlington.”
My stomach dropped and the muscles in my neck tightened.
“It’s beautiful, but there’s something…”
“Let’s not talk about anything now,” Teddy interrupted. “You and I can decorate it together.”
Before I could warn him, Teddy pulled the tree out of the car. I gathered the pine needles that had fallen on the back seat and followed him into the house.
“What’s that?” He pointed to the huge tree next to the fireplace.
James climbed down from the ladder and joined Teddy.
“Isn’t she a beauty? It’s a Vermont white spruce tree, we chopped it down in the forest.”
“You cut down the tree yourself? Teddy gaped.
“It’s easy if you have the right saw.” James shrugged. “Laura helped me carry it, she’s quite strong.”
Teddy glanced from the tree to me. His temple was pulsating and his cheeks were pale.
“Laura has all kinds of hidden strengths,” he grunted. He turned to the door. “I’ll return this one.”
“You can’t return a Christmas tree.” I stopped him. “We’ll put it in the dining alcove. I was going to write a magazine column about having more than one Christmas tree. It makes a house more festive.”
“We have plenty of ornaments,” James said. “Laura and I bought all the ornaments at the general store.”
Teddy’s cheeks turned from pale to bright red. He set the tree down so hard, pine needles fell on the rug.
“I’ll let you two decorate it,” he said. “I’m going to go lie down.”
“It’s daytime!” I exclaimed. It was late afternoon, and we hadn’t even had dinner.
“My back is acting up from carrying the tree.” Teddy clenched his teeth. “And I caught a cold last night. It’s my fault, I spent some time in the barn.”
He marched into the bedroom and slammed the door.
James and I decorated the small tree. It looked quite pretty in the dining alcove. And it was thoughtful of Teddy to pick it up. I owed him an apology.
I heated a bowl of chicken soup, and cut up some bread and cheese.
When I entered the bedroom, Teddy was sitting up in bed, reading a travel brochure about Saint Kitts.
“The temperature in January in Saint Kitts is eighty degrees. And, it’s carnival season. There’s calypso dancing in the streets, and everyone drinks rum and pineapple juice.”
I didn’t feel like making some snide remark. Instead, I set the tray on the bedside table.
“I’m sorry we picked out the Christmas tree without you.”
“I don’t know if I can keep up the charade,” he said.
“What do you mean?” I asked. “I promised Margaret. And I apologized about the tree…”
“It’s not the tree, though I did hurt my back.” He winced. “It’s about us.”
“What about us?”
“We shouldn’t be pretending to be engaged, we should really be engaged. I thought about it the whole time I was driving to Burlington. You and I belong together.”
“You should have thought of that before you made your travel arrangements.” I waved at the brochure.
“Those can be canceled.” He shrugged. “Nothing happened between me and Gwendolyn. It was my mother’s doing. If you want me to, I’ll call her and she can tell you herself.”
I almost gave in. All I wanted was for Teddy to take my side when it came to matters between Dolly and me. But he wasn’t saying that his mother would apologize, only that she would talk to me. I imagined how the conversation would go. Dolly would accuse me of not trusting her son, and I’d end up feeling bad. Still, at least Teddy was trying to make it right. And he looked so handsome. I was tempted to kiss him.
“I’ll call her right now,” he said, sensing my indecision. “Then we’ll tell her that we’re getting married.”
I almost agreed, when I saw a pink envelope peeking out of his jacket pocket.
I snatched it up and opened it.
Dear Teddy,
I can’t wait until you arrive. I told Mommy to put you in the pool house. She said that you’d be more comfortable in a guest room in the main house, but we’ll want privacy. I didn’t say anything to my mother but I’ll arrange it.
Love,
Gwendolyn
I threw the letter on the bed. Then I grabbed a pillow and some blankets.
“You can have the bedroom, I’ll sleep on the sofa tonight. I’ll tell James that you have a bad cold and I don’t want to catch it.”
Anne, I’ll stop there. Perhaps I shouldn’t have written about the Christmas tree in the first place. I can feel my blood boiling and I don’t want to spoil the joy of having my Christmas tree now. It looks so pretty in my living room.
That’s one of the problems of being a writer. Writing about unpleasant things isn’t easy. But without them, there wouldn’t be a story.
Regards,
Nina