Chapter 33
Q uinn didn’t stay in Flagstaff long enough to see his other brother, Jared, who was still an asshole, too.
Instead, he drove home and decided to confront Delilah.
Well, confront wasn’t the right word. It was more accurate to say he wanted to talk things out. If she didn’t want to be with him, he could live with that. He’d hate it, but he could live with it. What rankled the shit out of him was the idea that she’d stopped seeing him because her ex told her to.
Wasn’t that why someone was an ex in the first place? So you didn’t have to live your life according to their wants and needs anymore?
Yeah, she was afraid of losing her kids to that dickhead. But Quinn wouldn’t let that happen. He didn’t know how he might prevent it, but he’d make it his mission to try.
And anyway, if it wasn’t this, it would be something else. The guy was clearly set on controlling Delilah, and he saw the kids as the perfect bargaining chip he could use to make it happen. If he wasn’t haranguing her on who she was seeing, he’d be haranguing her on her parenting choices or her career choice—whatever it turned out to be—or spousal support, or some damned thing.
Quinn didn’t know Mitch, but he knew his type. And that type never gave up control if they didn’t have to. That type never quit taking as long as you continued to give.
So Delilah had to stop giving.
She had to dig her heels in—it was the only thing he’d understand.
The fact that Quinn would benefit from that strategy was a side bonus.
He planned what he was going to say to her as he made the long drive from Flagstaff back to Cambria. He mentally rehearsed his words under a clear blue sky as the highway stretched out ahead of him.
When he got back, it was too late to knock on her door. So he went home, tried to sleep, mostly failed, then got up early the next morning and fortified himself with strong coffee.
He weighed whether to call or text before going over there, then thought, screw it . He left the van in his driveway, got into the car he used around town, and went to Otter Bluff.
Delilah’s car wasn’t there, but an oldish gray Honda Civic was parked at the curb.
Quinn went to the front door and knocked, his heart pounding with the awareness that this might be a make-or-break moment for him with Delilah.
A middle-aged woman in jeans and a T-shirt opened the door. She had bright yellow rubber gloves on her hands, and her graying hair was tied back in a bandana.
“May I help you?”
“Ah … is Delilah here?”
“Who?” She squinted at him.
“Delilah Ballard. She’s staying here with her two kids. Two boys. Is she around?” He peered around the woman to try to look into the house.
“There’s nobody staying here right now.” The woman put a gloved fist on her hip as though she thought he might be up to something and she wanted him to know she wasn’t having it. “I’m cleaning it for the next guests.”
Oh, shit. Was she gone?
Yes, it was past January first, and yes, he’d known she was supposed to leave Otter Bluff then. But she hadn’t called or texted him to let him know, so he assumed she was still there. Surely she’d made a deal with the owner or something. It never entered his mind that she might leave without telling him where she’d gone.
“Do you know where she went?”
“They don’t tell me anything about the renters. Sorry.” She didn’t sound sorry. “All I know is she left the place pretty nice, which isn’t a given with some people. So if you see her, tell her Carol said thanks.” Then she closed the door on him.
He walked back to his car feeling cold dread in his stomach.
He got behind the wheel and texted her.
You left Otter Bluff. Please tell me you’re not in Connecticut. Please tell me you didn’t leave without talking to me or without at least saying goodbye.
She texted back less than five minutes later.
Of course I didn’t. I’m at 9835 Wharton Street on Happy Hill. Do you want to talk?
Damned right he did. He started the car and drove to Happy Hill.
Delilah’s divorce had left her unmoored. Without her marriage to anchor her, she hadn’t known what she wanted, with whom she wanted it, or how she planned to get it. She hadn’t known how she was going to construct a new life atop the ruins of the old one.
But her phone conversation with Mitch had clarified things. In the wake of it, she knew a few things for sure. One, she didn’t want to live in fear of what Mitch might do. Two, she was tired of feeling hurt and traumatized by the way he had treated her. Three, she was ready to feel hope and joy again. And four, now that joy had presented itself, she knew she had to do what it took to keep it.
When she heard Quinn’s car, she peeked out the front window and saw him park at the curb. She didn’t wait. Instead, she walked out the front door to meet him.
Quinn had been nervous as hell as he drove across town. Delilah had already told him she didn’t want to see him anymore, so he supposed this couldn’t be any worse.
But she hadn’t left town, and that had planted a tiny seed of hope within him. Maybe she wasn’t done with him completely. Maybe she could still be persuaded to let him be a part of her life.
He hadn’t realized how scared he was—how much this whole thing had undone him—until he reached for the car door handle and saw that his hand was shaking.
Whatever happened, he had to be a man about it. He had to pull himself together and accept whatever she’d decided.
When she came out the front door, she was smiling, and he felt a surge of optimism and possibility. She wouldn’t be smiling if she were going to cut him out of her life forever, would she?
Please let that smile be for me.
He got out of the car, headed up the front walk—and felt everything within him breathe again when she ran to him and threw herself into his arms.
Delilah kissed Quinn with everything she had, everything she was feeling. He tangled his hands in her hair and caressed her mouth with his.
What a wonder that she could feel like this after everything that had happened. What a miracle.
When he pulled back from her, she smiled up at him. “I talked to Mitch.”
“Did you? I guess it went well.”
“No, actually. It was awful.” Her arms were still around him, and she relished the feeling of being held by him again.
“It did?”
“Yes. God.” She shook her head. “He was terrible. And I essentially blackmailed him to drop it, and that was terrible, too. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I know I can’t let him dictate what I do with my life. I can’t, Quinn. He decided everything I did while we were married. What I wore, what I did with my time, who my friends were …” She started to get emotional, but she swallowed hard and tamped it down. “If I let him have his way on this, it’s going to be like he never left. Like I was never free. I’d be letting him know that he doesn’t have to treat me with respect. That he doesn’t have to acknowledge me as a … a thinking adult who can make her own choices.”
He grinned. “Please say you told him to kiss your ass.”
“I did. Not in those words, but essentially.”
“Goddamn it, I’m proud of you.” He kissed her again, hard and fast, to punctuate his words. “Back up a little, though. Blackmail?”
She shuddered. “I felt like I needed a shower.”
“So, what dirt did you get on him? And how?”
“Not on him. On his girlfriend. That stuff he said about you? It’s nothing compared to what I now know about her.”
“Do I want the details?”
“You really don’t.”
He nodded, accepting that. They were still standing on the front walk, his hands clasped at the small of her back. “Does this mean you’re staying in Cambria?”
“It means we should talk about it. About what you want, and what I want, and what’s best for the boys. Without taking Mitch’s opinions into account.”
“We can do that.”
Before they could go into it any further, Jesse spotted Quinn through the front window, and both boys came tumbling out of the house calling his name.
“Quinn! You’re here! Where were you? Were you camping?” Jesse asked.
“I want to go to the zoo,” Gavin said.
Quinn and Delilah walked into the house hand in hand.
They’d agreed to talk about it, but they didn’t do that right away. Quinn had, in fact, promised the kids a trip to the zoo if their mother said yes, and now, under the excited pleadings of her boys, Delilah agreed.
They drove down to Santa Barbara the following day under a blue sky dotted with puffy clouds. The drive was a long one, so by the time they parked, the boys practically exploded out of the car, releasing their pent-up energy.
“Guys. Guys! Stay with me. There are cars coming and going. You need to be careful.” Delilah used her stern voice, corralling the kids while she filled a small backpack with jackets, water bottles, her cell phone, and her wallet.
They went to the front gate, paid, and emerged into the tidy, well-kept zoo, a map of the exhibits in Quinn’s hand.
The boys began arguing about what they wanted to see first, so Quinn took the lead.
“You don’t just go see your favorite animal first,” he said.
“You don’t?” Gavin looked up at him attentively.
“Oh, heck no. You’ve got to plan a route.” He spread the map out on a bench. “See? We can start at the left with the snow leopards and the porcupines then continue around toward the elephants. Or, we can start at the right with the otters and the alligators and continue on toward the koalas. But it makes no sense to go straight for the giraffes, for example, because you’ll just have to backtrack to see the stuff you missed, and you’ll be walking all day.”
Delilah grinned at him. “You’ve put a lot of thought into this.”
“A thing that’s worth doing is worth doing right.”
“But we’re still going to see the giraffes, right?” Jesse asked.
“Of course. I’m not an amateur,” Quinn said. “I’m not going to plan a zoo trip that doesn’t include giraffes.”
Jesse, convinced, opted for the snow leopards, and Gavin agreed.
They headed off together on the route they’d chosen.
Quinn was feeling pretty damned good about himself and about life as he led the kids and Delilah from one exhibit to another. He’d thought he lost her over her ex’s threats. He’d been prepared to fight for her, but only to a point. He knew she had to make her own decisions—especially after the way her ex had prevented her from doing just that during their marriage—and if she had decided to cut him loose, well, he would have had to accept that.
But, God, he hadn’t wanted that to happen. Now that it looked like it wouldn’t, he felt buoyed as he savored this feeling of being a part of something again—a part of a family.
They still needed to have The Talk, though—the discussion about what she would do next and what role he might play in that. There was still the potential for it all to go wrong, but he was determined not to let the worry of it ruin his day.
He bought the boys ice cream bars, and they ate them while exclaiming over the antics of the white-handed gibbons. Quinn held Delilah’s hand, smiling like an idiot. Or, smiling like a guy who’d finally found what he wanted.