5. Carrie
5
CARRIE
M y high school best friend, Lisa Thompson, sat across from me at the kitchen table in my parents' house sipping her chai latte, and I stared at her as she rambled on with all the town gossip. I wondered how things had changed so drastically for her and how she'd gone from the small-town-hating girl I grew up with to this mutated version of herself. She was now the epitome of everything I loathed about Evergreen Falls.
"Mmm, yeah," I said, pretending to pay attention to her as she rattled off some rumors about Becky Yates, one of the former cheerleaders who may or may not have grown up to become a barefoot and pregnant mother of six children in under ten years.
When Lisa called me to say she'd heard I was home and wanted to catch up, my first instinct was to tell her I was too emotional over Dad's stroke and hospital stay. Unfortunately for me, Mom was listening in to that conversation and basically forced me to call Lisa back and set this brunch up. I knew Mom's heart was in the right place after being reminded by Ryan that my parents do actually care. I just wished she'd have butted out. I left Lisa behind the way I left this town behind, and I was better for it.
"So anyway, that's all the stuff you've been missing. It's just the same old town with the same old things happening." She tossed her blonde curls over her shoulder and set her mug down, and I had zero response for her. What was I supposed to say back to her after that pile of garbage? I didn't care what Becky did with her life or how controversial it was to buy a bright neon green car instead of the normal black, white, or blue. "How's your dad?"
Finally, she changed the subject to something I actually cared about, and I didn't have to fake a smile or pretend to pay attention. "Dad's not doing great. They woke him up earlier this week, but he has a bit of damage from the stroke. He sleeps most of the time, and when he does wake up, he's not speaking much." I sighed and thought of how difficult it was to watch Mom interact with Dad. I'd gotten her to come home for dinner one night, but now that he was awake, she insisted on staying by his side constantly again.
"That's so sad. I really hope he recovers." I could tell Lisa was being sincere, but I also knew the rumor mill was itching for something savory to sink their teeth into. I gave her the bare minimum of information because I knew whatever I told her would be shared around town tomorrow. She wasn't trying to be that way. It was just what this town did to people.
"Yeah, but we're managing." My tea, long cold, sat hugged between my palms. I couldn't wait to send her packing so I could get back to the hospital and see what the doctors found out when they did the second MRI.
Lisa tried to be comforting by sharing a story of when her dad twisted his ankle and the whole family had to chip in and do his chores for him. I figured she was fishing for whatever tidbits I'd cough up about Ryan, but I wasn't saying a word. Ethan would never have been like this to me, but then, he'd heard a million times how much I hated gossip and nosy people who couldn't mind their own business.
It was shocking to me how much I had changed over the past decade. When people in this town made it their sole purpose to humiliate my father because of mistakes I made as a teen, I knew this place wasn't for me, and these weren't my type of people. Ethan and I met in composition class, and he felt like the breath of fresh air I'd needed to take for years. I got that surge of energy like when you surface after a deep dive and you can finally breathe again.
Chicago was where my heart belonged now, even though I was lonely and probably headed on the fast track to not even having a wingman anymore. This visit home was my rude reminder of how much I disliked small-town drama. I would still rather be lonely in the city than have no privacy here in Evergreen Falls.
"So, who's been doing all the shoveling? A fancy executive like you isn't the type to pick up a shovel." No doubt, someone had seen him and she was just trying to get the inside scoop.
"Dad's friend. You know him. Mr. Hawthorne, town councilman." I raised my eyebrows and pursed my lips into a smile. It was really none of her business. "He's been supportive of the family so that Mom and I can just be with Dad."
"Oh, that's so nice," she said, and she glanced out the window. We didn’t have a good view of the front of the house from here, but it was good enough to have seen Ryan out there shoveling this morning already. He'd been keeping up with the drifting snow, but today's visit was unnecessary.
I watched Lisa's eyes stay fixed on Ryan for a moment before she sighed and turned back to me. "Well, I'd better get going. I have to get lunch for the guys and take it over to the shop." She stood and picked up her coat which she'd hung on the back of the chair she sat on. By "guys" and "shop", I figured she meant her husband and his buddies at the garage downtown. I wondered if one of them was the guilty party who had complained incessantly about Dad's car.
"It was nice catching up." I stood with her and folded my arms over my belly, which was feeling even queasier today than the past few. That tea didn't help at all, though fear that I might be pregnant after that one-nighter needled at my conscience.
"Yeah, tell your mom I said hi. Give your dad love." She put her coat on and buttoned it up, then stretched her arms out for a hug.
It felt weird hugging her because after nearly a decade of little to no interaction, we'd grown apart. I wouldn't be doing this again, and I had to remind myself to bring Ethan to town some day to meet my parents so they could see my real friends.
"Be safe," I told her as I opened the front door, and she strolled out into the bright sunlight. I stepped onto the front porch and shivered, and Ryan looked up from his spot in the driveway where he was chipping away at some ice that had been packed down under car tires.
"Oh, hi, Lisa. Tell Ronny I said hi." Ryan nodded at her, and she smirked at me, for what reason I had no clue. Ryan was nothing but my dad's friend, and his presence in our driveway was purely philanthropic.
"Bye, Mr. Hawthorne," Lisa called in a sing-song voice, and both Ryan and I watched her climb into her car and drive off.
He never looked up at me, but I watched him for a second, then felt bad that he was out here in the cold again. I also felt bad for dumping my frustration on him the other day, and I thought it'd be nice to invite him in.
"Hey, Ryan…" I called, really feeling the cold sink into my stockinged feet.
He looked up at me and smiled. "Good morning, Carrie."
"Come in!" I shouted. "It's cold. Let me get you a hot cup of coffee." The temperature gauge on the front side of the house said it was below twenty degrees, perfect for a hot beverage. And this time, Ryan didn't balk at my invitation. I left the front door ajar as I hurried inside to the kitchen and popped a coffee pod in the machine.
By the time Ryan was inside with his coat off, the coffee was steaming in his mug. "Black, please," he said casually as he hung his coat over the back of the chair I'd been sitting in. "Wow, it's cold out there."
"Yeah, it is. I hope Mom's car starts. The battery is weak." I picked up the World's Best Dad mug and spun around to hand it to Ryan, who grinned at me in gratitude.
"Oh, gosh, that smells heavenly. Thank you." He wrapped both hands around the mug like he was warming them and said, "I can put a new battery in Helen's car if you'd like. Just bring it down to the dealership. Sam or one of the techs will handle it."
This man never ceased to try to be helpful. I loved that about him—or about people in general. It was one of the good things about small-town life. There were goodhearted people who still understood what it meant to be neighborly. I didn't get that much in Chicago.
"Sit," I said, gesturing at the table, and he sat where he'd hung his coat.
I took my almost empty mug and slid around to the far side of the table where Lisa had been sitting and watched Ryan suck coffee through his teeth. Dad did that too. He always said it helped cool the coffee off so he could drink it faster. I said it just burned the roof of my mouth and my tongue.
"So, have you heard from Helen this morning?" he asked, and then he sniffled. His nose was probably running from the cold weather.
"Not this morning. I plan to head over there in a few minutes, but you looked cold." That hot cup of coffee was tempting, but after the tea upset my stomach, I didn't dare make myself a cup. Besides, sitting across from Ryan was comfortable, and I didn't want to be rude.
"I'm sure they're going to see improvements soon. Your dad's a fighter." His smile was electric, and I shifted in my seat at the flurry of butterflies it sent through me.
"So, I couldn’t help but notice that there was almost no snow out there today. Are you stalking me?" I joked, and he chuckled. The baritone rumbled through me, and I felt chemistry clicking between us again.
"Would it be so bad if I was?"
The tone Ryan used when he said that made warmth pool in my groin. And the fact that he made eye contact and didn't look away only said one thing—he was flirting with me. But why? Part of me wanted to believe this genuinely amazing man was actually taking an interest in me, but he was so much older than me. Some people would think that was creepy.
So to test the waters, I decided to flirt back. If he thought I'd be too shy to call him out, he was wrong. "I've never had a hot stalker come shovel my walk before. Do you watch me through the windows while I'm changing too?" I lifted one eyebrow and smirked at him and instantly felt foolish.
Ryan was so much older than me and a very prominent member of the city council. He'd been married and divorced and basically widowed, and the town already spread rumors about him. As if that wasn’t enough, he was Dad's best friend. I could never get involved with him, no matter how much I liked the attention he gave me.
"Carrie, let me ask you something…" Ryan sighed softly, and his flirtatious expression shifted to one of curiosity. I was all ears, but I said nothing and he continued. "Would you ever consider dating a man much older than you?" His eyes twinkled as he asked the question, and I knew he was talking about himself.
I thought about it briefly and I knew my answer. "Yes, I'd date an older man." He just wasn't going to like it. "But I don't think I could ever date you." I offered a sad smile, and his head dropped, but when he looked back up at me, his expression was calm. "You know Dad would totally freak out."
Ryan chuckled and said, "He might surprise you, but I completely understand." He picked up his coffee and took a long swig, and I didn't even know how he didn't wince. Then he set the mug down and picked up his coat. "I'd better get out of your hair. Helen is probably waiting for you."
I stood with him and hugged myself, praying my stomach would just settle. Between the yucky feeling I woke up with and the butterflies from flirting, I was so nauseous.
"Thanks again," I told him.
"Thanks for the coffee. Let me know if you need help with the battery." He winked at me, and I couldn't have been more disappointed that I had to turn him down. Dad would kill me, though.
"Any time." My smile faded when he walked away, and when the door clicked shut, I slumped back into the chair.
This morning had sucked. I still had to go sit with Mom for a while, and all I wanted was to not feel like throwing up. I just wanted to go home now—to Chicago. For good.