21. Carrie
21
CARRIE
T he air was crisp, and though it was only seven p.m., it was dark as midnight. I walked with Mom and Dad toward the town square where the town tree was now fully decorated but not lit. I hadn't attended a tree lighting in Evergreen Falls in so long, I forgot how magical it could be. Tonight, it appeared the entire town had come out. Many of the townsfolk carried candles, and a lot of them were singing Christmas carols.
We were quiet, talking softly about how lucky we were that Dad's stroke wasn't more severe. It made this Christmas much more important, and I was actually glad I was home for this moment. Dad insisted on us bringing him out, and thankfully, the town had gotten all the walks free of snow and ice. Mom pushed his wheelchair, though it looked like she was struggling.
"I'm just happy we can get out of that house." Dad was a little grumpy after the hassle of helping him in and out of the car with the wheelchair. I knew he'd be thrilled when he could walk more than two steps without needing help.
"It's nice to get fresh air, isn't it?" Mom said, then grunted a little as she tried to turn the wheelchair around the corner to the final leg of our journey.
"Mom, let me do that," I told her, but she shook her head and waved me off.
"I'm fine, Carrie."
I scowled but knew there was no point in arguing with her. So I turned my attention toward the Christmas village erected here the day Ryan asked me to come help him supervise. I hadn't even been back past downtown since, and it looked really nice. I was impressed. Until my eyes caught a sight I wasn't expecting tonight, though I didn't know why it surprised me.
Ryan was standing next to the Santa cabin, smiling and handing ceremony attendees candles. He wore a Santa hat and a red scarf, and his usual black woolen trench coat made all the focus go to his face, where his stubbled chin made me itch to scratch my fingers along it. I felt my body growing warm just thinking of that, and then I thought of the night last week when Mom almost caught us in the act.
I was resting, almost dozing and feeling so nauseous when I heard the door open. If not for the slight morning sickness, I'd have been caught red handed, but thanks to the instant panic of being caught, my entire dinner came up. It was a good interruption to whatever Mom might have been thinking, and she made her own assumption that Ryan had stayed to help me—which we both let her believe.
It did, however, lead to her forcing me to stay in bed for three days to make sure I was better, which was only worsened by the fact that I threw up a few more times. Ryan only came by to help Dad with the outside lights, and Mom never even let me know he was there. We spoke via text messages, but even he was spooked, telling me we should let it cool off a bit so Mom didn’t get suspicious.
Tonight, though, my heart skipped a beat when I saw him and I got a giddy smile on my face. I shouldn't have. I should've been thinking about my unborn baby and how that would affect Ryan, but I missed him and his sweet gestures, like the coffee I never got to drink that night when Mom thought I was sick.
"Look, Walter, it's Ryan," Mom chirped, and she angled Dad's chair in Ryan's direction. The moment he saw us, he turned to a younger man standing next to him and said something, then jogged over and smiled.
"Helen, Walt… Let me do that for you." He nudged Mom aside in the most gentlemanly fashion, and she seemed happy to let him take the lead. I could've felt slighted since I asked before, but I was too happy to see Ryan to care.
"I didn’t know you’d be here tonight," he said, and I felt a giddy grin stretch across my face.
I didn't know he'd be here, but it made sense, his being on the town council and all.
"Oh, you know Walter. He insisted." Mom chuckled, and Dad grunted.
"Well, I couldn't just sit around doing nothing. And how could I miss the tree lighting?" Dad took the blanket covering his legs and readjusted it, and I fell into step next to Ryan.
"You must be cold," I said, noticing the rosy tip of his nose.
His warm smile, however, wasn't at all cold. He had a glow about him that I knew was directed at me. If anyone else saw him, they'd know too, but Mom and Dad were too busy enjoying the sights.
"I've been out here a few hours, so yeah, I'd say cold…" Ryan chuckled, and our eyes met, but I felt myself blushing and looked away. Unfortunately, I noticed a few people with hushed whispers and I knew they were speaking about us. At least they had the sense to keep their gossip quiet so Mom and Dad didn't hear this time.
"Uh-oh," Mom said playfully as we found ourselves at the back of a line of folks moving in toward the center of the square where the tree was. She looked up and pointed, and snickered. "Mistletoe…" Mom leaned down and pecked dad on the lips and then snickered like a schoolgirl.
My heart fluttered as I looked up to see Ryan and I were also standing under the mistletoe, and I flushed with warmth. Ryan wasn't looking at the mistletoe. He was looking at me, and he looked hungry.
"Oh, dear, what have we here!" Mom clapped and laughed. "Well, it's tradition. Don't keep us waiting." She was looking at Ryan and me, and I was suddenly feeling put on the spot and a bit mortified. My eyebrows rose and I glanced around.
"Mom!" I hissed, but she snickered.
"What? It's mistletoe, Carrie. Don't be a Grinch."
If she only knew the half of it, she'd never have said that. But Ryan was already leaning in, thankfully with his eyes open. My stomach threatened to revolt, but I rose up on my tiptoes and placed a chaste peck on his cheek and then backed away immediately, but the sizzle of chemistry was still there, and his smirk said it all. I was so glad Mom couldn't see his face.
"How fun! Now, who wants cocoa!" Mom was already off toward the next tradition, and Ryan's eyes were locked on my face as he pushed Dad's chair. It took everything I had in me not to wrap my arms around his bicep and lean on his shoulder. What was going on with me?
I knew this would never work. I knew if Mom and Dad knew, they'd never approve. And I knew in the end, I was leaving town with a broken heart. Why was I making it worse for both me and Ryan? Lisa had given me good advice. Tell Ryan the truth now before he gets too hooked, but the snowball was rolling and I was in its path, about to be crushed.