CHAPTER 31 #2
“I…I suppose it’s that it matters…to my dad?” He says, unsure for the first time tonight. I wait for him to go on. He squeezes my hand and takes a deep breath. “That’s pathetic, yeah? Thirty five year old man trying to impress his father?”
“No, it’s not,” I say, meaning it.
“You know they…” he runs his left hand down over his face, “Shit, I’ve never really talked about this.”
“Here,” I say, pulling him down onto a long old-fashioned bench near an equally old-fashioned lamp post. Warm light surrounds us like a pocket in the cool, almost overgrown garden, within the dark city streets beyond.
“That’s really the only time he ever paid me any mind.
Mother too. We were all together in one very small circle growing up.
Grace and her cousins, me and mine. If I beat one of the Rockford records in sports or grades, I’d get a ‘Well done, Aiden,’” he lets go of my hand to run his hands back and forth on his thighs like he’s anxious.
“They hate us too, something about stolen land in Virginia a hundred years ago. We really went blow for blow in school and university. But after we all graduated, there weren’t many opportunities to best them, I…
” he laughs. “One year I counted. I didn’t hear from my parents for over 400 days. ”
“What?” I gasp.
“I know, very weird, yeah? We’re not a normal family. And when I did hear from them it was because I bought a Rockford property out from under their noses. Dad loved that.”
“Aiden…” I don’t even know what to say.
“Don’t, I’m a lucky bastard. I’m wealthy, I stay fit, I have a few real friends, like Benedict, which is a rarity.
” I reach to put a hand on his back and he pulls away and stands.
“Don’t. Don’t feel sorry for me!” He barks at me.
I’m surprised at his reaction, which must show on my face.
“Damn it, sorry, Sweetheart.” He sits back down and takes my hand again, studying our linked fingers.
“I…I’m not good with feelings, with… I don’t know… warmth?”
“Well, they’re wankers,” I say one of his go-to phrases to him. I earn a laugh.
“Quite right,” he says. He wipes at his nose. I wonder if this is the first time in his life he’s let himself feel real feelings. Wait…
“Why didn’t you ever try again, after Marion? Wasn’t she warm?” I ask.
He squeezes my hand, “She was in her own way. Not too different from my mother. Afterwards…I was hurt, I guess. My pride, mostly. We finished University, she moved in with Harry and I…I just became singularly focused on taking down the Rockfords. I dated, of course, but I traveled more and more, moved faster and faster. Deal after deal. It was something to aim at, I guess.”
I blow out a breath. We sit in silence, listening to the busy city traffic a few blocks over from the garden.
Fifteen years is a long time but…Juniper Falls isn’t the first town. The Roasted Chestnut won’t be the first family business he’s gutted. Just for an attaboy from a man who doesn’t deserve Aiden’s attention or his incredible brain or his work ethic.
“And so?” I say, voice shaky, “You tear down my street, finish your resort, take the number one spot and then what?”
“Harper, even if I changed my mind now, I am legally, contractually obligated to—”
“And for what, Aiden? I get it, the plans are final. And you know the truth, it’s not like I’ll be that sad about the shop but my dad will be heartbroken. Shelly too. And then what? Do you get like a promotion to CEO or something?”
“I’m already CEO,” he says softly. I throw my hands up to say, exactly! Aiden goes on quickly, “I…I don’t know, he might call, congratulate me?” He deflates as he realizes how ridiculous this sounds, “Probably give me a bloody boat.”
“A boat,” I repeat in shock.
“I don’t care about the boat, obviously! I… I was just trying to be honest.” I just sit and shake my head, not sure at all what to say.
This man needs therapy. And a hug, probably. A really long vacation. And then more therapy. And some more after that.
He says, “If I could go back, Harper, if I could undo this, change the plans, I would. For you, I promise you, I would.”
“Can’t you just pay more to break your contracts?” I get up and pace, “I mean come on! You’re a billionaire!”
“If I did that, the contracted partners would fight me on it and the resort will sit unfinished, abandoned and hazardous, for months, likely years.” He stands and steps to me, “They’d really drag me through it in retaliation.
Which wouldn’t really matter to me but it is absolutely worse for the town. ”
“Ugh, you have an answer for everything,” I growl in frustration.
He scoffs and takes my head in his hands, “Not everything, clearly.”
“Aiden,” I close my eyes.
“Tell me how to fix this,” he whispers.
“There is no this,” I whisper back, eyes squeezed shut.
He leans his forehead on mine, I can feel his breath when he says, “I don’t think that’s what you really want.” I try to scoff but he goes on, “I think you’re tormented, just like me, thinking about the other night, how amazing it was, how badly you want to do it again.”
I shake my head.
“No? If I kiss you right now, will you stop me then?”
I don’t answer because he’s right. I have been tormented. And as he presses his mouth to mine and hums, I sag with relief. He deepens the kiss and tightens his hold and I just can’t help it, his arms feel like safety.
He tastes like ice cream and bourbon. I whimper, mad at myself at how easily I let us get here again. At the sound, Aiden growls and starts to move his hands, but I pull away.
“No,” I say, putting a hand out to keep him at a distance. Then I just declare, “I’d like to go home now.” I cannot go around in circles about us, about how there is no us, anymore.
“Harp—”
“By myself, please. Renaldo!” I call out. The giant, disturbingly quiet guy appears out of nowhere. “Please take me home,” I say.
“Wait, wait!” Aiden says and I pause. “The fundraiser. Go with…I mean, will you go with me? Please?”
I give him a sad smile and shake my head, “I’ll see you there.”
“Tell me honestly that you don’t want to go together,” he tries. I can’t tell him that. I turn and leave before his pleading puppy eyes change my mind.
Do I want to be his date for the most glamorous night I’ll probably ever have? Of course, yes. Yes! I mean, he’ll be in an actual tuxedo. And I get to wear a sexy, fancy dress and feel like the belle of the party.
But tonight has just cemented our fate. Unreal physical attraction aside, we are from such different worlds we’re in different galaxies. He’d never settle down in Juniper Falls. He has to keep moving to freaking earn his parents' love? Damn.
And he’s…he’s lost.
He’s about to achieve his one life’s goal, realize how pointless it all was and be crazy depressed. It probably explains his irrational fixation with me in the first place! It’s eerily similar to JimBo.
A horrible, painful lesson I refuse to repeat.
I know Aiden thinks he can wear me down about dating.
That he’ll out-stubborn me. But this was just a quick, late-night lapse of judgment.
There’s still quite a bit he doesn’t know.
He thinks his contractors won’t back down?
His rivals are tough? That I’ll just cave and be his date because he begged me to?
He can forget the Rockfords.
He has met his match.