Noel.
“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE not coming. Aren’t you feeling better?”
I squeezed more honey into my tea and then stirred the concoction to make sure it was blended well.
“I feel a lot better. I think I’m through the worst of it, but it’s still not a good idea for me to be traveling.”
And the fact that I can’t afford the last-minute ticket .
“But you’ll be alone for Christmas, which makes me sad.”
“Mom, I’ll be fine. I’ll decorate, bake some cookies, and FaceTime you guys on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. It will be just like me being there.”
Lies. All lies.
“But, honey—”
“Don’t, Mom. I promise I’ll be fine. I’m feeling much better now, so maybe I’ll head out later to find a tree.”
Another lie. A tree wasn’t a luxury I could afford at the moment, and I refused to put up one of those fake ones. Things were more than a little tight, and I also wasn’t feeling up to leaving my place to go on the hunt for one, even if I could afford it. My town was overcrowded with tourists overdosing on Christmas cheer, and I currently didn’t have any to offer.
“Noel . . .”
“I’ll be fine,” I declared as a final word, and thankfully, she accepted it.
“Okay, honey, but we can cover the ticket if you change your mind. I know they’ll be expensive at the last minute, and with the new business and everything . . .”
I tilted my head back, pointing my face toward the ceiling, squeezing my eyes shut to curb the wave of guilt. My parents assumed that things were fine and my business was new but flourishing. I didn’t tell them any different because, well, I was an adult and needed to handle things on my own. They were barely making things work on their end and didn’t need to be concerned with me being an added expense.
“It will be expensive, and I would almost guarantee no flights are available. I’ll plan a trip to visit soon, I promise. I’m really busy right now anyway with the new accounts and all . . .”
A tiny white lie that could be considered speaking success of my business into existence and not a false statement. Yep, I’ll go with that. I didn’t like the idea of lying to my parents.
“Oh, wonderful, honey. In that case then, I don’t feel so bad. How about I send you something special? If I can get it in the mail today, you’ll have it by the weekend.”
“Sure, that would be great.”
“Wonderful. I love you, honey. Get some rest, and make sure you’re staying hydrated. It’s important.” I smiled into my mug and then lowered it.
“I will, Mom. I promise.”
I ended the call just in time to avoid my mother hearing the coughing fit that grabbed ahold of me. I truly was feeling better, but the congestion and sore throat still gave me fits. The tea was helping, and the nighttime medicine made it easier for me to sleep. Hopefully, I will feel well enough in the next few days to try to decorate a little. I glanced at the plastic bins Simone had dragged out for me before she’d left.
Decorating would clearly help my mood. Being stuck at home, alone for the holidays, was pure torture. Simone was visiting her family. She’d offered to stay back to spend the holiday with me, but I couldn’t ask her to do that.
She loved Christmas and her family as much as I did, and with her crazy job hours, she rarely got the time off to get home to see them. Her sister had also just had a baby, whom Simone was all too excited to meet for the first time. I refused to ruin their Christmas just because mine was officially ruined.
I lifted my tea and trudged to my room, climbing into bed after setting the tea on my nightstand. Once I was snuggled beneath my bedding, warm and cozy, I turned on the TV and decided to watch some trash. I’d usually be watching Christmas movies, but it was too depressing to see all the happy couples and families working their way through Christmas disasters, only to find their happily ever afters and Merry Christmases.
I sighed and tugged my blanket further up my chest, reaching for my tea.
“This sucks,” I mumbled just before my phone vibrated next to me. I lifted it and pushed out a pout before answering.
“Please tell me you’re not calling to tell me some funny story about how your dad forgot the eggs and had to go back to the store only to discover they were completely out, and now you can’t make your mother’s famous gingerbread cookies, and Christmas is officially ruined.” I smiled. “Oh wait, that might not be such a terrible thing, the ruined Christmas part, that is.”
“Wow, you’ve officially hit rock bottom. Instead of goodwill and cheer, you’re all coal in the stocking and burnt Christmas cookies. Never thought I’d see the day, friend.”
I scoffed. “Desperate times call for sour attitudes.” I coughed several times and then lifted my tea to take a few tentative sips.
“Yeah, well, I’m not used to this from you . I’m going to need you to cheer up. And you sound terrible. I thought you were getting better.”
“Oh gee, thanks for the compliment.”
“Noel, I’m serious. That cough sounds bad, and you sound—”
“Depressed? Well, I am. This sucks.”
“This is adulting. You are officially an adult having to make the tough decisions, which means no going home to Mommy and Daddy for the holidays, but you’ll survive.”
“Oh, that’s cold, Simone, and will I survive? This certainly doesn’t feel survivable . Also, I’ve been an adult.”
“Well, yeah, you have, but the kind with a biweekly paycheck you could count on. Now, you’re officially self-employed and having to figure things out on your own while hiding how broke you are from your parents. An entirely new level of adulting, sweetie.”
“In between blessings. Not broke,” I muttered. “And you’re saying that like I should be excited. Again, this sucks.”
“You should. Considering this is a new phase in your life. Noel two point oh. Big boss, taking over the world with your virtual staging and designs.”
“Noel two point oh is officially broke. I want to bypass the upgrade and stay with the older model. Please and thank you.”
“Too late. You’re in this, which, by the way, is why I called. I wanted to make sure you canceled your booking. You’ve been a little distracted, so I wanted to ensure you didn’t forget.”
I did.
“Nope, didn’t forget. Got it covered. I have up to twenty-four hours before arrival to cancel without penalty. I’ll get it done. Girl, don’t you dare believe him. Once a cheater, always a cheater.” I frowned at the TV.
“Who are you talking to?”
“The TV.”
“What are you watching?”
“ Second Chance at Love .”
“Oh Lord, now, I know you’ve officially hit rock bottom. The entire month of December is usually reserved for you to have Christmas movies on repeat. The fact that you’re watching trash TV means you’re much worse off than I expected.”
I grinned. “I’m fine, I promise. Just doing a little television sulking, but I’ll be back to normal by tomorrow. Trust me. I’ve got big plans. I’m going to decorate my place and bake some Christmas cookies. I ordered everything I needed this morning and had the groceries delivered. See? Perfectly fine. I’m going to make the most of this horrible Christmas, even if it kills me.”
“Let’s pray it doesn’t. I don’t like people, so I have no interest in auditioning newbies for the spot of my new best friend,” she groaned, and I smiled brighter.
“Not that anyone could ever compare to me . . .”
“No, they wouldn’t, which is why you can’t let this sucky-ass Christmas kill you. Promise me.”
“I promise. Tell your family I said hello, and Merry Sucky-Ass Christmas. And kiss the baby for me. Send me pictures. Lots of pictures. Oh, and video. I’ll be living vicariously through you this week, Simone. Don’t let me down.”
“I won’t, but I have to go. It’s time for eggs and eggnog.”
“Oh, that sounds interesting. And dangerous . Not a good combination.”
“It’s usually a breakfast thing, but my flight didn’t get in until after lunch, so we’re doing it now. Trust me, it’s not a good combination, but Mom’s big on themes. Pray for me.”
“Nope. No can do. Misery loves company, and I, my dear friend, am currently miserable.”
“You’re horrible.”
“This week I am, but you love me.” I felt my eyes getting heavy. The medicine was kicking in. “Gotta go. I feel a nap coming on. The drugs are officially doing their job.”
“Okay, but before you take that nap, cancel the booking.”
“Right. Doing it now. Promise.”
I reached for my laptop, suffering through another round of coughing as I powered it up.
“Noel, I’m serious. Make sure you cancel. If you don’t, you’ll have to pay that penalty and return the money to the person who booked, or worse, they’ll show up, and that would be fun.”
“Yep, got it. Doing it now.” I yawned and rubbed my eyes, which felt very heavy.
It didn’t take me long to log into the customer portal and pull up the one booking I had. My chest felt tight, having to move through the steps to cancel. I really needed the money. It wasn’t much, but at this point, every penny mattered. Either way, I didn’t have a choice. I wasn’t going home for the holidays, which meant my place wouldn’t be empty.
I navigated through the cancellation screens and moved through the steps. While my request processed, I set my laptop beside me on the bed and slumped down farther, snuggling beneath my covers. I peeked at the screen several times to ensure it was still processing. At some point, I yawned, and my eyes closed. My computer dinged, and I glanced at the screen long enough to see an email pop up from Shared Space, which meant they had my cancellation. Now, it was time to sleep. The medicine had won this battle, but I wasn’t putting up much of a fight.