Noel.
T ONIGHT HAD BEEN perfect.
Better than perfect, but words failed me. Mostly because I was tipsy from champagne and emotionally lifted from the overpowering allure of the man who closed us into my apartment after we left the Brightons’ Christmas Eve party. It was just after eleven, and the night couldn’t have been more . . .
Perfect .
Mom and Dad had called to make sure I hadn’t drowned my sorrows in eggnog, and after a short chat and a few I love yous, they were convinced I was okay. They were also thrilled that I had chosen to go to a party instead of sulking at home alone.
Simone texted to check in. She would have called also, but she knew my plans to attend the Brightons’ party and wanted pictures to ensure I was having fun. I assured her I was and would give her details later.
Now, we were back home . . .
Home.
It was strange how we both felt so comfortable with that word on our tongues regarding my apartment. This was my home, but not his, although it surely felt like it. He’d hung the lights, helped me decorate the tree, and spent hours on the sofa with me, watching terribly cheesy Christmas movies at my insistence.
His scent lingered in the air, and his presence was overwhelmingly throughout every inch of my place. Our coexistence made me smile, but at the same time, my chest ached, realizing it was all ending very soon.
He was leaving, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. Kanton had a life and a business in New York. Mine was here. While he was thriving and surging forward, I was at a standstill of chaos.
The last thing I needed was to be falling for a man who I couldn’t have. Not because I didn’t deserve him. I did, but primarily because of timing. It wasn’t the right time for either of us. The most I could do was enjoy the last of what I had left with him for what it was.
I watched as Kanton worked his way out of his jacket and draped it neatly over the back of a chair. He approached me slowly, stopping about an inch away. “So . . .”
“So . . ?” I repeated, smiling up at him.
“What’s the plan?”
“Plan?” I frowned a bit.
“You promised me the perfect Christmas experience, and up to now, you’ve delivered. Tonight, however, is the most important evening with all of this, so you have to have plans for us. Otherwise, I’m going to be sorely disappointed.”
“You hate my plans.”
Strong hands were on me, pulling me close.
“I might have been opposed initially, but I hate to admit that I like the idea of Christmas with you. I’m still, however, on the fence, so you have the rest of the night and tomorrow to convince me.”
“What makes you think I care enough to go the extra mile?” I arched a brow, and he smiled arrogantly.
“Just a feeling.”
My smile was slow and easy. “Okay, I care, but today was kind of busy, and I didn’t have time to make any plans. But if you give me a minute, I’m sure I can come up with something. We could write a letter to Santa. I’m sure that would be amusing to watch, or we could bake cookies, or—”
His mouth landed hard on mine, cutting off my final words. “Or we could do this—”
He slid his tongue into my mouth with an urgent, greedy exploration. The hints of bourbon and champagne ignited the buzz I was already feeling. I returned the kiss, leaning into him, eager for more and annoyed when he separated to say, “Or we could wing it.”
My heart raced faster.
“Winging it sounds good.”
I smiled against his mouth while he kissed me again. This time, his hand moved up my back, tugging at my zipper, which he lowered. I yanked at his shirt, freeing it from his pants, and moved my hands beneath it, enjoying the warmth and hard planes of his abs . . . and then lower. When my fingers brushed over his belt buckle and gave a little tug, his jaw set, and his eyes lowered.
And so did mine. He had been very gracious. It only made sense that I was too.
“Noel . . .” It was a low growl that I took as a warning. One I planned to ignore.
“Hmmm?”
“What are you doing?” He sucked in a sharp breath when my fingers eased beneath the waistband of his briefs.
“I’m pretty sure you know exactly what I’m doing, and if you don’t, give me a second, and I’ll show you.”
“Oh fuck . . .”
I wrapped my lips around his head and sucked him in nice and slow. My hand moved up to the base, applying a generous amount of pressure. I was grateful for the heels I was wearing. They served as a perfect tool for balance, meaning I could concentrate on the task at hand.
The groan above my head indicated that I was doing a decent job, but I didn’t want to be “decent.” I wanted to blow his mind. Bringing Kanton the same pleasure he blessed me with sparked something in me. I sucked harder, using my tongue, gripping firmly to the base, peering up at him to gauge his reaction. Kanton growled his approval, and those heavy lids lowered in appreciation. His hand moved to my chin, fingers fanned out over my cheeks, applying enough pressure to guide my motions, and I grinned around him, feeling accomplished.
“Fuck . . .” he hissed, and then I was yanked from beneath him, lifted out of my dress which pooled around my ankles, then lifted around his waist. I hadn’t realized we were moving until my ass chilled from the cool surface of the kitchen counter seconds before my thighs were spread wide, and Kanton thrusted into me hard and fast.
I groaned in satisfaction, and he continued landing deep with hard, punishing thrusts until we fell in sync. He bit down on my lip and then kissed me, murmuring between my lips, “My first So fucking gorgeous.”
“Your only ” I kissed him back, narrowing my eyes when he smiled arrogantly at my demand.
“I won’t object to that.”
Maybe it was the evening, the sex, or just the perfection of the moment, but I wanted to be his only I didn’t have long to process the thought because Kanton began rocking into me harder, with long, deep thrusts that had my body spasming. I felt warm all over and satisfyingly full as the pressure built to an unbearable degree.
“I’m . . . oh shit . . .”
He yanked my hips forward, and I panicked, feeling unsteady, no longer having the counter beneath me, but my palms landed flat on the sleek surface, gripping the edge for stability.
We came at the same time, and Kanton’s hands slid beneath me, tugging me into him. My body settled into a haze of satisfaction as endorphins flooded my system. Once again, we were moving, but this time to my bedroom.
Two more earth-shattering orgasms followed, and then I drifted to sleep, with the weight and warmth of his body, feeling completely and utterly satiated with the delicious ache that lingered from the way he thoroughly handled my body.
Merry fucking Christmas.
The next morning, I was up early, tossing covers back, making Kanton growl and yank them back over our bodies. I repeated the act, and he peeled one eye open, peering at me. “Where are you going?”
“Not me, we . It’s Christmas. We have to shower and get dressed.” I was giddy because . . . well, it was Christmas.
“Or we could lie back down, get up later, shower, and then lie back down again.” He smiled, tugging me back toward him with his eyes closed, but I forced a halt to the motion by placing my hands flat on his chest so that I remained upright. Bad idea because the feel of him under my palms and fingertips had me ready to explore, only further south.
“Nope, my day, my rules,” I asserted, climbing over him, grateful that he allowed me to escape. That didn’t stop him from growling his disapproval as he flopped over, burying his face in the pillow.
“Kanton . . .” I whined, and he growled again.
“I’m coming. Five minutes, but since you’re forcing me out of bed at this ungodly hour, I get to fuck you in the shower before you torture me with whatever Christmas plans you have.”
My body pulsed with the threat that actually wasn’t a threat. “Okay, fine, but you’d better hurry because if I’m done in there before you join me, you miss out.”
That got him moving, and before the water temperature was fully adjusted to the right level, he joined me. We brushed our teeth with our naked bodies flush against each other, and his very hard dick between us while we stood in front of the sink. Then we showered together, with me orgasming twice with my legs wrapped around his waist while my back was pressed against the tiled wall. We dressed in pajamas I managed to sneak and order online.
I had asked Lewis to keep them downstairs where resident packages were held, and he had them brought up to my apartment while Kanton and I were at the party last night, along with the presents I had for him.
“I knew this was going to be very painful,” he mumbled, entering the living room wearing clothes that matched mine. Black pants with tiny reindeer and a bright red T-shirt that said, “ Dear Santa, I regret nothing .”
“You don’t like them?”
“On you, yes; on me, not so much.”
“Well, humor me.”
I grabbed my phone, pulling up the camera app. I snapped several pictures of him scowling, but he smiled when I leaned next to him, sliding under his arm and extending mine to capture selfies. I barely caught the shot before he was pushing his face into the curve of my neck, kissing me there and then on my temple, but he faced the camera again for the last picture, pressing his face close to mine.
“Now for presents.”
“Presents?”
Kanton’s face crumpled, and I grabbed his hand, pulling him with me as he mumbled, “I didn’t know we were doing presents.”
“ We’re not. I am. This is me providing you with the perfect Christmas, remember?”
“But it won’t be perfect if I can’t give you a present as well.”
We stopped in front of the sofa. “I don’t need presents, but if it makes you feel any better, you gave me a present last night. Plenty, actually, if I count how many times I enjoyed your . . .” My eyes lowered to his present . “Now, sit.”
After gently shoving Kanton’s chest and encouraging him to sit, I left and moved to the tree, gathering wrapped gifts. I knew Cleo had to have handled this task since they were neatly wrapped. Lewis had defied me when I made him promise only to store them. He took everything home and allowed his wife to wrap them. But I wasn’t complaining. Wrapped gifts would make the moment much more satisfying.
I set them next to Kanton on the sofa, and he frowned at me while I lifted my phone again, bringing up the camera app. Only I planned on capturing both video and stills.
“Stop growling and open them.”
He frowned again and then hesitantly lifted the first one. I held up the camera to capture his reaction while Kanton slowly ripped into the paper. His eyes lowered to the bright blue and orange cardboard casing that held his first gift. Then he lifted his eyes to me. His brow lifted at the same time the corners of his mouth slanted. My stomach clenched with memories of where that mouth had been last night.
“You bought me a Nerf gun?”
“I did. Keep going,” I beamed, capturing the picture of his amused face as he moved to the next one and began ripping into the paper—a box of Nerf bullets.
Next was Hot Wheels.
“I’m sensing a theme here.”
“Good. Keep going.”
When he got to the last one, he smiled bigger than I’d ever seen before. He was genuinely happy, which had me imagining the same face but only years younger, opening gifts on Christmas morning. According to Kanton, he never had that experience, which made me angry with his parents. Parents I didn’t know but wasn’t fond of because they cheated their son.
“This is . . .” He shook his head and lowered his eyes to the collection of toys. “Thank you.”
“You like them?”
“I do, but more than anything, I love that you cared enough to try to give me something I’ve never had.”
“Oh, speaking of, I have two more things for you.” I jumped up and moved the tree, grabbing the basketball tucked in the corner and a small box I had wrapped myself and handed over to Kanton.
He smiled at the basketball, setting it aside. “I think I know what this one is.”
“Basketball. I saved it for last because I figured you’d guess.”
He grinned and lifted the lid of the last box. His eyes shot up to mine, narrowing as they held me in place. After a long pause, they moved slowly back down to the ornament I snuck and made for him.
A square shaped and painted like a present with Kanton’s First Real Christmas. I hesitated when making it, not wanting to overstep. No matter how complicated things were with his family, they were still his family, and this wasn’t his first Christmas. The longer he sat quietly staring at the ornament, the more nervous I became, and that had me rambling.
“I know it’s not your first, but in a way, it kind of is because it is a first and—”
I was yanked with no finesse and landed awkwardly on his lap, but before I could complain, he kissed me hard, passionately, and with so much of himself that all I could do was submit. When he pulled back, he pressed his forehead to mine.
“It is my first real Christmas. And it’s also my first Christmas with you . It’s appropriate. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” This time, I kissed him, but then those feelings surfaced again. His first and last Christmas with me. I needed distance because this was too much. I eased off his lap just in time because my mother was calling.
“It’s my mom. I have to take this, and when I’m done, I’m making you a Christmas breakfast.”
“Please promise me it doesn’t involve elves or Santa.”
“No can do, sir.” I swiped to answer and ducked off. “Hey, Mom . . .”
I welcomed the distraction because this was starting to feel like too much.
“Merry Christmas, honey.”
“Merry Christmas. Where’s Dad?”
“In the kitchen burning pancakes. You know he likes to make breakfast to give me a break . . .”
He did but ended up making more work. Mom had to salvage what he didn’t destroy and then clean behind him, but she loved every minute of it.
“He’s sweet for that. Stop acting like you don’t look forward to it.”
“Charred pancakes, lumpy grits, and crunchy eggs. Sure, I look forward to it, and let’s not forget that he uses every pot, pan, bowl, and utensil we own to get it done.”
I grinned at the amusement in her voice hidden behind the sass. “You love it, and you know it.”
“I do. The mess, not so much, but that he loves me enough to try—that part, I won’t complain about.”
“Because you shouldn’t. He does truly love you. And I love you. I hate I can’t be there to help clean up his mess this year.”
“I know. Me too. I thought things would work out for you to make it. I held on to hope, but . . .”
“I know, me too.”
“I hate this so much that things were ruined.”
Initially, it was, but now . . .
My eyes darted toward the living room. I was leaning against the linen closet in the hallway. I inhaled a deep breath and released it slowly.
“It hasn’t been terrible.”
“You’re alone.”
I wasn’t. But I wouldn’t tell her that.
“I haven’t been alone. I had dinner with Lewis and Cleo and then the party last night. It’s not like being home with you guys, but it made the time more bearable.”
He made it perfect.
“That’s good, ”
“But next year, I’ll be there.”
“Maybe with someone?”
I should have expected that.
“Maybe, but honestly, with everything I have on my plate right now, I don’t have time for anything else in my life. Especially not a relationship. At least, not until I get a handle on things. There’s already so much I’m struggling to get a handle on.”
“I thought things were good?”
“They are, but working for someone and running your own business takes much more time, hard work, and discipline.That means a huge investment of not just my money but of me. Once I find my footing with this, I can consider bringing someone home for Christmas.”
“There will always be an excuse, You can’t put your life on pause waiting for the perfect time.”
“I know, Mom. That’s not what I’m doing. I just need a year or two to find my footing with the company. Then I’ll focus on my personal life. I promise. A relationship doesn’t make sense right now.”
“I’m holding you to your promise. Would you like to speak to your dad?”
“No, not right now. I don’t want to disrupt his focus on those crunchy eggs . . .”
She groaned, and I added, “Tell him I love him and Merry Christmas. I’ll call you guys later.”
“Okay, honey. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
I ended the call and glanced down the hall, smiling at the thought of bringing Kanton home to meet my parents. They’d love him. But then I quickly pushed the idea to the back of my mind because, well, yeah, that wasn’t happening.