Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
Cooper felt it like a punch in the gut, watching two parts of his life collide right in front of him. Poppy, standing there, chatting to Laura as if it were the most natural thing in the world. They laughed together, cooing over Laura’s kid, and every muscle in his body turned to lead.
The woman he was falling for and the one who’d taught him his love would never be enough. What sick joke was the universe playing, throwing them together in his face like this?
Poppy looked up and saw him, waving him over with a smile. Cooper wanted to bolt, but he forced his emotions back and walked over like nothing was wrong.
“Cooper.” Laura blinked, looking surprised. “I didn’t know . . . Hi.”
Poppy looked back and forth between them. “You guys know each other? Of course you do,” she added with a laugh. “I need to get used to this small-town thing. Let me guess, you went to elementary school together?”
“No, not quite.” Laura gave him a soft smile. “It’s good to see you, Cooper. How have you been?”
“Fine,” Cooper answered shortly. She looked good, but then, she always did.
Even the shadows under her eyes couldn’t spoil Laura’s natural glow.
She bounced the kid on her hip, looking like she’d been born to be a mother.
This was what she’d wanted. They’d planned for two kids, maybe three.
Both of them had been only children, and they’d agreed they wanted a whole brood.
It came rushing back, the feelings he’d thought were behind him now.
The guilt. The betrayal. Everything they’d dreamed together, and everything that had crumbled in the end.
Because he hadn’t been enough for her; he hadn’t done enough to make her stay.
His biggest failure was staring him straight in the face, and damn, it made him feel like a fool.
He’d tried to forget, but he guessed the universe had a way of reminding him. He couldn’t leave this behind if he tried.
Poppy was still smiling, oblivious to the hurricane beating in his chest. “Brady here decided he wanted to nibble on my scarf,” she explained. “So we were just—”
“I need to get back,” he told Poppy abruptly, interrupting her. “I’m running late.”
Poppy gave him a puzzled look. “Sure. Anyway, it was nice to meet you.” She smiled at Laura . “And hey, if you need help on that child-proof addition, this is your guy.”
“I’ll keep it in mind.”
He could feel Laura’s gaze on him, but he looked away to avoid the blame and bitterness he was certain must still be lingering there.
“The crew will be waiting for me,” he said, impatient.
He didn’t even wait for Poppy to say goodbye before he turned and walked fast for the exit.
Outside, the street was busy, but he cut through to where he’d parked his truck without pausing to see if she’d followed.
He climbed in and started the engine, gripping the steering wheel hard.
The past bore down on him, heavy with regret.
It shouldn’t be this hard.
What made him think it would be any different this time?
“What was that?” Poppy climbed in, interrupting echoes of the past. “You bolted so fast, you didn’t even say goodbye.”
“I told you, I’m late.” He drove off with a lurch, pulling a U-turn in the street to head back towards the highway. Poppy grabbed her seatbelt and buckled up quick.
“Cooper?”
He ignored her, wishing like hell he could be somewhere else right now. Alone, away from Poppy’s curious stare and the confusion in her eyes.
“Cooper!” Her voice finally broke through. “Slow down. Please.”
He realized he was speeding and took his foot off the gas. “Sorry,” he said gruffly, and Poppy exhaled.
“Are you OK? What happened?”
He shook his head. “It’s fine.”
Poppy didn’t look away, but Cooper fixed his eyes on the road.
What could he say, anyway? That woman you were just talking to?
There was a time I thought she was the one I would spend the rest of my life with.
Besides, he already knew the first question out of her lips would be to ask why things ended between them, and Cooper didn’t want to see the look on her face when he had to admit that it had all been his fault.
He’d driven Laura away. He’d ruined everything. And given time, he would wind up doing the same thing with Poppy, too.
That bullet wound in his chest got bigger. Damn. Poppy.
He was going to hurt her in the end.
He didn’t want to, he’d do anything to keep her from the pain, but how the hell was it going to turn out any different?
He already knew this was how it ended: with fights and recriminations.
He’d loved Laura; they’d been happy once upon a time, but sure enough, the bickering had turned to yelling, and the connection between them had crumbled away until they were just two strangers in the same house staring at each other from across an unbridgeable canyon.
He couldn’t bear it if he did that to Poppy, too. If he dimmed the light in her eyes, even for a second, it would be a damn crime.
He drove, lost in thought, until they were back outside June’s place. He parked and shut off the engine. Poppy looked over. “Thanks for lunch,” she offered. “Maybe I can come by tonight? Leave June the house to settle in. And lock the door,” she added with a laugh.
Cooper felt torn in two. He wanted nothing more than to lose himself in her again, turn the clocks back to when it was just the two of them, and the real world didn’t matter. But the bitter weight was pressing in his chest, and he needed space to get his head straight.
“Not tonight,” he replied, avoiding her gaze. “I need to catch up on my sleep now that we’re heading into the home stretch here on the job.”
“OK.” Poppy sounded disappointed, and the guilt hit hard. See, there he was, screwing everything up again.
He got down and went to open her door. Poppy climbed to the ground.
“So, I’ll see you tomorrow?” she asked, the uncertainty clear on her face.
He nodded, but before he could head back to work, she caught his hand and tugged him closer.
“You know you can talk to me, right?” she said, her eyes searching his.
“I know this is still early, and we haven’t said anything about .
. . where this is going, or what it is. But I’m here. I want to be here.”
She looked so open and compassionate, it cut him open. Then she reached up and brushed his lips in a kiss, and Cooper nearly gave up the fight. He kissed her back, deeper, and those sparks roared to life, bright and wild.
One touch is all it took with her. From the start, she’d been undeniable. He wanted her. He wanted to be the man for her.
But just like he’d teased her what seemed like a hundred years ago, you didn’t always get what you want. Cooper should have learned his lesson a long time ago, but he guessed it was just history repeating.
Regretfully, he pulled away. “Sorry,” he said, meaning it with every bone in his body. “I really have to go.”
Poppy stepped back. “OK, I won’t keep you,” she said with a smile. “But if you change your mind about tonight . . . call. I’ll sneak away, it’ll be just like breaking curfew.”
She winked and headed up the porch steps, and Cooper let out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.
He wouldn’t be calling her, not tonight.
Not until he figured out how to deal with this mess, and all the foolish hopes he had spinning in his chest when his head knew full well that only disappointment lay ahead.
He turned and strode back to the construction site. His guys were still working, and he should be unloading supplies from the truck, but first, he went looking for a sledgehammer.
He needed to break something, right now.