Chapter Five #2
She’d worked hard to change herself. While the initial plunge into the world of reality had come at the hand of circumstance, once she’d been forced to face her own lacking character, she had done her best to do better. Five years later, she could honestly say she was proud of who she was.
Was she proud after last night or this morning?
The lovemaking had been incredible. Darcy had forgotten what it was like to have a man touch her bare skin—to feel his body next to hers, entering hers.
She’d been starved and Mark had fed her.
But now what? Did she really want to have an affair with a man she barely knew? Or did she want something more?
She wasn’t crazy enough to think she was searching for true love.
She had her doubts about being lucky enough to find someone who would adore her and be willing to deal with Dirk.
She knew her brother was an amazing person, but not everyone could look past his developmental issues to see the gentle heart inside.
So she’d given up on the fairy tale, instead resigning herself to a life alone. The move to Whitehorn had cut her off from her hard-won support group. She needed to make friends, finding people she could both like and trust.
But would Mark be interested in being a friend or was he only in it for what he could get?
* * *
Mark knocked on Darcy’s front door at exactly two minutes before six.
He’d wanted to wait until a couple of minutes past, but he’d been too eager, too aroused.
He’d already imagined her opening the door and ushering him inside.
He’d thought of gathering her in his arms and kissing her until they were both breathless with passion.
But reality didn’t live up to fantasy. For one thing, Darcy wasn’t smiling when she opened her door. For another, she wouldn’t look at him.
Her whispered hello did little to alleviate the sudden ache in his gut.
“What’s wrong?” he asked as she stepped into her living room.
“Nothing.” She brushed her hands against her black slacks and motioned for him to take a seat on the sofa.
He hesitated. While he appreciated the polite gesture, he couldn’t help remembering that twenty-four hours before they’d been making love on that same piece of furniture.
“Darcy?”
She crossed to the window and parted the blinds to look out. “I’m fine, Mark. It’s just…” Her voice trailed off. She glanced at him, then away. “You’re not going to like this.”
The bad feeling got worse. “Why don’t you say it and let me be the judge?”
She nodded, still without looking at him. Her short, blond hair was a mass of curls. Lamplight brought out the shades of gold in the strands. One small hand lingered on the blinds.
“I can’t do the sex thing,” she said without warning.
“I know it doesn’t make sense to you. We’ve done it twice, so what’s the big deal, right?
I mean it’s a new century and we’re all contemporary single people.
Except I’m not. I didn’t mean to have old-fashioned values.
I didn’t even know that I had them. Suddenly they were just there.
” She glanced at him over her shoulder. “I’m sorry. You probably want to go now.”
Mark tried not to think about the two condoms in his back pocket. He shoved his hands into his front pockets and stared at her back.
“What changed your mind?” he asked.
She shrugged. “I didn’t like what I was thinking about myself. I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy the sex…I did, it was great. But there has to be more.”
He turned away and swore under his breath. This was just his luck, he thought grimly. He wanted sex and she wanted… He didn’t know but he was sure he wouldn’t like it. She was right—he should leave. Except, somehow, leaving seemed like the wrong thing to do.
“Mark?”
“What?”
“You can go. Really. It’s okay. You didn’t ask me out or anything. We have no emotional connection or hint of commitment between us. My inviting you here for Thanksgiving was entirely my idea. You don’t owe me anything.”
“I know.”
He did know. Yet he couldn’t seem to get his feet heading for the door.
He reminded himself he wasn’t looking for a relationship. He couldn’t ever trust her; he wasn’t interested in falling in love.
“What do you want?” he asked before he could stop himself.
She turned slowly, until she was facing him. Something that might have been hope flared to life in her eyes.
“I thought maybe we could be friends.”
Her voice was small as she spoke, as if she knew she was asking for the moon and she didn’t doubt he was going to laugh at her.
He reminded himself he wasn’t looking for entanglements and that she was a woman with secrets. Not that he’d cared at five-twenty that morning.
“Friends?” he repeated.
She nodded. “Nothing romantic,” she added hastily, making him perversely want to know why not. “Just friends.”
He didn’t say anything. Darcy swallowed. “I know that sounds weird, but I’ve been really busy since I moved here and I don’t really know that many people. You and I seem to get along, even outside the bedroom.”
She sounded sincere. He even almost believed her. Friends. It wasn’t anything he’d considered. There were complications. He didn’t want to get involved, and ironically a sex-only relationship had seemed far less trouble. Friends implied more than he was willing to give.
He knew he should tell her he wasn’t interested, but for some reason he couldn’t speak the words. Maybe it was because he’d been on his own since he’d returned to Whitehorn. He’d been meaning to look up old buddies, but somehow he never found the time. Besides, what was he supposed to say to them?
“Why not romance?” he asked. “Not with me, but with someone?”
She gave a rueful smile. “I don’t have really good luck with men.”
Her statement made him want to ask a half-dozen questions, but he didn’t. If they were just going to be friends, why did her past matter?
“We can give it a try,” he said at last.
“Really?” She smiled, her full mouth curving up, her eyes brightening with pleasure. “Great.”
“I do have a question.”
“What?”
“How do you plan to avoid temptation?”
Her smile faded slightly. “Yes, well, that is a concern, isn’t it? I suppose I won’t think about it.”
“What if I start to seduce you?”
Her steady gaze met his. “I don’t think I’d be able to stop you. I guess I’m going to have to risk it. Do you plan to seduce me?”
He shook his head and it was only half a lie. Strangely, it was enough for her to admit that he could easily tempt her into his bed.
“I’m depending on you to be a gentleman,” she murmured.
He groaned. “That hardly seems fair.”
“Imagine how I feel. I’ve just admitted you have all that power.”
They faced each other—still standing in the living room. Mark didn’t know about her, but he felt damned awkward.
“Now what?” he asked.
“It’s up to you. I have all the fixings for a great turkey stir-fry. We could have dinner and talk about our first friendship project.”
“We’re going to have projects?”
“Sure. Don’t guys like to get together to do things, while women like to sit around and talk? I thought we could start with something that would make you feel more comfortable.”
“Like what?”
“There’s a decorating party at the children’s wing of the hospital. I thought we’d go there.”
Damn do-gooder, he grumbled to himself. Typical.
“No way, no how,” he announced.
Darcy only smiled.