Chapter Nine
D arcy knocked on the counseling office door. Andrew looked up and waved her in.
“I didn’t expect to see you until the weekend,” he said.
She took the seat opposite his. “I just wanted to drop by and say hi to Dirk.”
Andrew raised his eyebrows. “We’re fifty miles from Whitehorn on a two-lane farm road, Darcy. Is there a problem?”
“No. Really. I’m fine. How’s Dirk?”
“Making great progress.” Andrew leaned back in his chair.
“Some things are easier for him to grasp than others. You know our goal here is help our students be as self-sufficient as possible in the real world. Dirk will never be a CEO of a major company but, as I told you when he first arrived, I think there are a lot of opportunities for him. Now that I’ve worked with him for six months, I don’t see any reason to change my opinion. If anything, I’m more confident.”
“Thanks.” She fidgeted with the strap of her purse. “I’m still going to be able to make monthly payments, right?”
“Absolutely.” Andrew chuckled. “Actually, you’ve caught me in the middle of putting together a financial aid package for you. Now that Dirk has been here long enough for us to evaluate him, we’re going to start the process of applying for scholarship and grant money.”
“You can do that?” she asked, not daring to hope.
“We can try. We don’t talk about it as an option when we get a new student because there are restrictions.
One of them is how much the student can be helped.
Our belief is that Dirk will be about ninety percent self-sufficient by the time he leaves here.
He’ll be able to hold down a job, live on his own and, within reason, support himself.
That and the fact that he doesn’t have any financial resources makes him eligible. ”
Darcy bristled. “I pay for things. I’ve never been late with a tuition payment.”
“Hey, don’t make me the bad guy. The foundations we work with don’t consider you a primary source of income. You’re a sibling, not a parent. This is a good thing. It makes Dirk more eligible for funding.”
“Oh.” She considered the information. “I’m not going to start planning a trip to Hawaii or anything, but if we could get some financial aid, it would really help.”
Andrew nodded, his expression turning serious. “I know you’re hanging on by a thread, Darcy. Don’t give up. I’m guessing within six months, we’ll have funding for at least three-quarters of his tuition.”
“That would be terrific,” she admitted. “Some months it’s difficult to pay all my bills.” If the funding came through she might actually be able to save money for an emergency.
“We’re not cheap,” Andrew admitted. “I like to think we’re worth it.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the desk. “What else is wrong, Darcy? You don’t seem to be your normal, cheerful self today.”
She shrugged. “Just life. You know—there’s always something.”
“I’m a professional. I’m willing to listen.”
“That sounds really tempting, but you’re Dirk’s counselor, not mine.”
“I’d like to think we’re friends. Talk to me.”
She hesitated. “I don’t know. There’s this guy.”
“Ah. A matter of the heart. I should have known.”
“I don’t know if this qualifies as a ‘matter of the heart.’ More like a confusing situation between people who are friends.”
And lovers, but she wasn’t comfortable confessing that. “He lives next door. We’ve hung out a few times.” Did sex qualify as hanging out? “I thought we were getting along great, but last Monday he turned weird on me. I don’t know. He mentioned some big case at work, but I’m not sure I believe him.”
“What kind of work does he do?”
“He’s a detective. He worked in New York for a while, but he was injured on the job. I guess he left to recover and now he’s here. He grew up in Whitehorn.”
“Sounds like he’s made a lot of adjustments. First to the big city and now to coming home. How long has he been back?”
“A few months. I think a suspect shot him.”
Andrew frowned. “That can’t have been easy. Do you know any of the details of the shooting?”
“No. Just that he was in the hospital for a while and then in rehab.” She thought about the scars on his body. “One gunshot was to his thigh, the other his torso. I know that no major organs were hit, but I think it was pretty close.”
“Facing one’s mortality is never easy. Especially if his injuries were serious enough to cause him to leave his job.”
Darcy considered Andrew’s statement. She hadn’t thought about the reasons for Mark’s return to Whitehorn. “I don’t know if he came back because he couldn’t physically do the job, or if it was something else.”
“Neither is going to make him feel good about himself,” Andrew told her.
“Men frequently define themselves by what they do. If your friend couldn’t do the job he loved, he would need some time to get used to that reality.
If he left because he didn’t want to deal with the pressures anymore, then there are different things going on. Either way, he’s in for an adjustment.”
“You’re right. I had just sort of assumed that it was all about me—his being weird, I mean. Maybe it isn’t. A friend of his killed herself a few days ago.”
Andrew whistled. “A former girlfriend?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. Probably.” She shifted uneasily. “Maybe I’m fooling myself, but I don’t think he’s lost the love of his life, yet there’s something going on. It’s hard to explain.”
“Suicide is difficult for those left behind,” Andrew said.
“Your friend is probably feeling a lot of conflicted emotions. Being in a new relationship is only going to add to his confusion and guilt. Try not to take it personally.” He shook his head.
“Unless all this is too much work and you’d rather pass.
You don’t have to get involved with this guy, Darcy. ”
“It’s not that.” She didn’t think Mark was too much trouble.
“I guess so much has happened so fast that I’m having trouble keeping my equilibrium.
” She tried to smile and had a feeling she didn’t do a good job.
“I’m so used to guys taking off the second they find out about Dirk.
All this stuff with Mark isn’t about that. ”
“It’s tough to find out we’re not the center of the universe,” he teased, then sobered. “Are you okay, Darcy? You’re dealing with a lot right now.”
“I’m fine.” At least she was trying to maintain some semblance of normal. Mark didn’t make it easy.
Andrew leaned toward her. “Do you want to talk about Dirk’s impact on your social life?”
“I’m not sure there’s anything to say. It’s not a new story.
I love my brother and I would do anything for him.
One of the realities of the situation is that people—men especially—don’t want to get involved if it’s not going to be easy.
Dirk isn’t easy. There are emotional and financial commitments that will last a lifetime.
At least if a woman has kids, the assumption is that the kids are going to grow up and be on their own eventually. That may not happen with Dirk.”
“I think it’s a very good possibility with your brother,” Andrew told her, “but it’s not a sure thing. As for the men you’ve met, I’m sorry they’ve all been so shallow. There are a few good ones out there and I suggest you keep on looking.”
“Oh, I haven’t given up. I just have gotten more cautious.”
And foolish, she thought, as she remembered Mark. When he’d agreed to her request to be friends, she’d allowed herself to hope things might be different with him. Ironic that she couldn’t blame his disappearance on Dirk.
“Keep looking, Darcy,” Andrew said. “You’re a wonderful woman. Any man would be lucky to have you in his life.”
“Right. When you meet this paragon of virtue, be sure to give him my number, okay?”
“I promise.”
Darcy rose and left Andrew’s office. As she entered the hallway, she tried to take comfort in his words—that Mark’s problems might not be about her at all and that eventually she would meet someone who would see Dirk for the amazing young man he was.
But the cheerful thoughts didn’t brighten her mood.
Part of her didn’t believe she was ever going to meet someone that farsighted.
Part of her didn’t want to meet anyone else.
She leaned against the wall and sighed. There was a truth she could have gone another few years without knowing.
That she didn’t want to meet Mr. Perfect.
Instead she wanted Mark to be the man of her dreams. She wanted him to stop acting strange and fall in love with her.
She wanted him to meet her brother and be okay with Dirk and what his special circumstances meant.
Darcy told herself to get real. Wishing for the moon was only a waste of time. She would be better off convincing herself that Mark was a jerk and that she should be happy he was out of her life. Unfortunately, she didn’t believe that one, either.
* * *
“Hey Mark, where’s the pretty lady with the cinnamon rolls?” Josh Anderson asked as Mark walked into the gym on Sunday morning.
“Busy.”
“Too bad. She’s a great cook.” Josh eyed him speculatively. “Not bad looking, either.”
Instead of answering, Mark grunted. If he were any kind of decent human being he would tell Josh that Darcy was indeed a great cook and very pretty.
She was also smart, funny and incredible in bed.
He grimaced. Okay, so he should probably keep that last bit to himself.
But he could tell Josh the rest of it. After all, the thirty-something contractor was single. If Mark didn’t want Darcy for himself…
He shrugged out of his jacket, then pulled off his sweatpants and sweatshirt until he was down to shorts and a T-shirt.
No way was he going to encourage Josh in the Darcy department.
He tried telling himself it was because she was a suspect in a police investigation, but he knew that wasn’t it at all.
He might not want Darcy for himself, but he sure as hell didn’t want any other guy sniffing around her.