Chapter 6
Damen
I leave Adriano a large tip for bearing with us, but what happened must hardly be the strangest thing he’s seen working at the boutique. A cute blush remains Kill’s face as I pay for our purchases, but I think I’ve hammered home that he doesn’t need to be afraid of me. Pun intended.
It’s already dark when we step into the cold air, but strings of pale lights transform the trees into a crystalline forest. Instrumental versions of Christmas hits play from the speakers, but while I’m feeling like having a minty hot chocolate, I want to do one more thing before we can relax.
The jeweler I lead Kill to is the fanciest one in town, known for pieces the biggest celebrities can’t afford to buy, but I want only the best for my fake husband, and I’m sure we can find something appropriate for him.
“Do you spank all your lovers, or only your husband?” he teases, but I sense a needy undertone, and I do kind of like that he’s jealous of faceless men he doesn’t know.
I don’t need to be a mind reader to recognize he’s been burned many times before and wants my reassurance.
Some other man might have used Kill’s insecurities against him, but I don’t want a scared mouse.
I want a man who can thrive at my side, confident in where he stands, and each moment I’m spending with him reveals another layer of compatibility.
He’s rebellious, but also warm, funny, horny.
What else could I possibly want from a man?
“I wish to only spank my husband.”
He bites back a smile and my heart beats faster when our eyes meet. His are filled with all the wonder and awe of a man falling in love all too quickly. Or it’s just the Christmas spirit getting the best of me.
“Here?” Kill asks, startled as I lead him into the shop sparkling with polished glass surfaces and jewels in all shapes and colors. A doorman greets us, but soon after, we’re at the counter, and I have the clerk’s full attention.
“I want to buy an engagement ring for my partner. But not just any ring,” I add, placing my hand on Kill’s nape. “Something unique enough to express his personality.”
The woman touches her lips as she thinks my words through. “Is there anything I should keep in mind? Preferred metal type? Stone shape? Budget?”
“We are open to seeing anything at this point,” I tell her, but I would like the stone to be of an appropriate size. I can’t have anyone thinking I cut corners on the symbol of our love.”
“It took him long enough to get me on board,” Kill plays into the fantasy with a warm smile. “His family needs to see he’s serious.”
He is making a funny comment for my pleasure, but it makes my heart beat faster. Can a man fall in love within a day? Because I think I’m close to the edge. I can just see myself as his husband, extending a protective arm over his shoulders.
The first few rings are quite basic. One’s shaped like a serpent wrapped around the finger, another is a band of platinum with a rough diamond, but none of the pieces are quite right.
Killian opens up about his taste in the process, and while she gets a better idea that my husband is interested in something unique, we can’t find anything suitable.
I once again reassure the clerk that I’m not on a budget, and only then does she remember the existence of a special dark fairytale-themed collection.
Most of the pieces are distinctly feminine, but the palladium armor ring set with a large trillion-shaped ruby with tiny diamonds on each of its corners speaks to me immediately.
I don’t need to ask Killian to know it’s the one, so I take it from the cushion it’s presented to us on and slide it onto his finger.
His eyes light up and I stand close enough to hear that he’s stopped breathing. It fits as though it was custom made for him and even goes well with the manicure he got earlier. He’s already gotten a few much cheaper rings and necklaces today, but this is the crowning jewel, and we both know it.
“This is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen,” he whispers as if talking louder could break the spell he has me under.
I sure hope the coolest thing he’s ever seen is my dick, but I don’t hold that word choice against him, because it is a pretty amazing accessory.
“Is it the one?” I ask, stroking his hand.
“Yeah, this is the one.” But he’s not even looking at it anymore. Our eyes locked, he rises to his toes and gives me a tender kiss.
Is this what being touched by an angel feels like? Because I can barely breathe in the glow of his appreciation. We also get a simple set of wedding bands, also in palladium before leaving the store as the final customers of the day.
As we step outside, dainty snowflakes are floating through the air, and I grin when one lands on Kill’s nose.
“There. I think we have everything now.”
He pulls out one of his new leather gloves. “With a ring like this, I’ll only ever wear one, even if my fingers are falling off.”
“I’ll just have to always blow on your bare hand, so they don’t,” I reply and lead him through a tunnel of illuminated wiring.
He stays silent for a while. We’ve got everything and will soon be leaving, but he doesn’t ask where and lets me lead. “How does it feel to be a married man?” Killian asks. “Limited to only one guy for two weeks.”
I don’t expect that question and slow down in a part of the passage shaped like a stylized carriage. “You think I’m the kind of guy who hooks up with a new person every other day?” It’s cute how he’s fishing to find out more about me.
Killian laughs and squeezes my hand. “I don’t know. You’ve got the looks for it. Why would you get yourself a ball and chain?”
I shrug. “There was a time like that in the past, but I think everyone wants someone they can count on, who’s there to share things with,” I tell him and push a lock of green hair behind his ear.
The lights mounted on the frame around us make his eyes glint like diamonds, and I find myself cupping his face.
“My brother’s married to this woman, and he worships the ground she walks on.
I mock him for it, but only because I’m jealous, because I know my family won’t be thrilled when I come over with a man at my side. ”
“Is that why you’ve waited so long to tell them?”
I swallow, watching snow shimmer on Kill’s eyelashes and hair. “Yes. The offer I made you was spontaneous, but it’s time for them to know I’m not going to marry a woman. They will recognize me as a married man and stop treating me like I’m somehow still a child.”
“So there was no one you wanted to bring home for real?”
I scowl, looking away when I remember my past dalliances, even those, which I for a time had high hopes for.
“The frustrating thing about being me, about… being a part of my family is the secrecy. I would meet someone, fall for them, but they’d always start poking at me.
What do you actually do for work? Why can’t I meet your parents?
Why do you disappear for weeks at a time?
Questions I couldn’t answer without pushing them away, or putting myself at risk.
Then, at home, I couldn’t tell anyone about the private life I lead when I’m away.
My whole life I’ve been plagued with always having to lie in one way or another. ”
Killian is the first man, my first lover to whom I can show the full picture. And soon enough, I’ll also introduce my family to him, closing the loop that has always had missing links.
“I hate lies, and always prefer the ugliest truth over them.” Kill says it with such conviction I know he means it.
“I know you’re younger than me, but do you have any strong feelings about marriage?”
His gaze drifts off to a shop window filled with boxes wrapped in red and green foil.
“I’ve not actually expected it any time soon, but every time I fell for someone I felt we’d be together forever.
When I feel things, it’s deeply. Like I’d follow them to the bottom of the ocean.
But then invariably… they’d cheat on me, lie, then act all shocked when I dumped them. I can’t accept dishonesty.”
I shake my head and pull him close, until his cheek flattens on my chest, and I keep him safe with my own body. I hate that his past has been so full of disappointment, but we can only move forward. “I’m sorry. You deserve better.”
“Damen?” Kill asks, wrapping his arms around my waist. “Can you promise to never lie to me in serious matters? Even if you actually intend to kill me after the holidays, I’d rather know and live life to the fullest than be lied to.”
“What?” I ask despite the ache in my lungs.
I did assume our holidays might end with him dead, but now just thinking about it triggers a wave of nausea.
I stroke his face, ignoring the unpleasant sensation in my chest, because he’s holding me by the heart, and nothing good can come from me telling him that now. He’ll assume I’m trying to appease him.
I want to reassure him that he’s going to be fine, but that would be a lie, and I couldn’t do that to him, so instead I say, “I hope it won’t come to that. All you need to do is to never reveal mine or my family’s secrets. That’s a promise. I will never lie.”
Instead of a growing tension at that looming threat I sense him relaxing in my arms. He looks up, serious and inquisitive. “And what is it that you do exactly?”
Smart little minx. I can’t break my promise now. “I kill people my family needs dead.”
I expect a gasp. I don’t blink, so I don’t miss even the tiniest expression passing through his face, but he frowns and nods, processing what I said. “That explains a lot.”
I’m stunned.
But also amazed. Enchanted. Relieved. Emotion wells up inside as I clear my throat, struggling to keep a clear head. “That promise about lies should apply to both of us. Will you go to the police?”
He keeps my gaze. “No. I won’t. Happy deserved it. And my husband’s family is now mine. I’d never betray that.”
I might be getting a little hot under the collar, and we still have a long way to go.
“Thank you. That… means a lot,” I say and clear my throat before pulling him farther along, my head full of messy thoughts. “I think it’s best if we hurry. We have a helicopter flight to catch. It’s the only way to reach the property in the winter.”
Kill smiles at me and winks. “Will you get jealous if I sit next to the pilot?”
I snort. “Not at all. You may even give him a blowjob,” I say, very satisfied with myself.
He walks in silence for a few seconds, then gives me the side eye. “You’re the pilot, aren’t you?”
I don’t answer, just offer him a wide smirk, because yes, I hate putting my life in someone else’s hands.
And yes, I’m a certified helicopter pilot.
Killian shakes his head. “That is really hot. Anything you can’t do?”
I’ve not been able to tell my parents I’m bringing a man over for Christmas, but even that will soon change.