Chapter Three
Jen
I’m not sure I’ve ever had a conversation that flowed that easily before. Not with a man, at least. Usually, there’s a ton of dead air and loads of posturing, or I’m disinterested in everything he’s saying and vice versa.
I didn’t get that with Sam. He was asking questions and maintained good eye contact. Hell, he paid for dinner. The man paid for dinner! He didn’t have to pay. I’m here because I’m insane, and that’s on me and my wallet, not his.
One giant hand grips the steering wheel as he leans in toward the driver's side door. The man is massive and even something as simple as driving looks hot on him. In the restaurant he’d taken off his baseball cap, but out here, he’s got it on backward with a pair of sunglasses and his flannel is rolled to the elbows, streaking tattoos down his arms. The man is gorgeous.
My heart beats faster, and though I know none of this is real or permanent, it’s really hard to tell my body that.
“So, you excited for this eclipse? The town has been talking about it for months.”
“Yeah, I mean, it’ll be neat. I’m more excited for Christmas Eve, though. It’s always been my favorite day of the year.”
“What about it?”
There he is acting interested again. How is this man single? I heard him say it’s because he wants to be, but still, you’d think someone would’ve snatched him up by now.
“The magic of it all,” I finally say. “It’s even cooler that the eclipse is happening today too. But, I don’t know, I’m really excited for a good old-fashioned Christmas. The tree, the woods, the snow, making cookies with the family tonight.” I squint my eyes toward him. “Man, I’m selfish as hell. I didn’t even ask you what you had planned. Maybe I’m interrupting all of it.”
He glances toward me, then lands his hand on my leg. It’s a casual move and I’m not even sure he’s noticed he’s done it. “I had nothing planned. My brothers are all seeing someone now, so they’re doing their own thing, and I was going to stop by at some point. Most of my day was going to be putting a refrigerator back together. I think it just needs a new evaporator fan.”
“Oh.” I know he’s speaking but I can’t stop thinking about his hand. His big, warm, rough hand on my bare leg. Is this part of the show? Is he practicing for later?
I let out a slow breath and stare out the window, watching the mountain range pass by us. I’d been nervous about the elevation change. Kansas to Colorado is nearly a twelve-thousand-foot difference. Turns out, the elevation is fine. It’s sitting next to a handsome man that’s taking the air from my lungs.
“So, I feel like I should know what you drink, how you like your coffee, and where you went to school. A few of those kinds of things would help a lot.” He brushes my leg with the back of his thumb as he talks.
Good God.
“Oh, right. Umm… well, I like my coffee black. I know, boring. And, ugh, I went to college at the University of Kansas, graduated middle of my class, nothing fancy. I did spend two years traveling all over South Korea, though.”
“South Korea?”
“Yeah, I was teaching English to students as part of my internship.”
“You like it out there?”
“Umm… like is a strong word. I liked the exploration and the people, but I missed American food a lot.”
“What is your favorite food?”
“Donuts. Ten out of ten. Nothing beats a jelly donut with powdered sugar.”
“Well, that’s where you’re wrong.” He squeezes my thigh gently. He must know it’s there. “The correct answer is classic glazed, all the way.”
“No. Just no. You can’t… no.”
He laughs and turns left onto a side road off the main drag. “There are no donuts out here, but if I put the plow down on the truck, I’m pretty sure we can avoid all this traffic. I gotta say, I’ll be glad when all this eclipse shit is over with. I love the attention the farm is getting, but I like our sleepy little town a little sleepier. This traffic is nuts. It’s added an hour into the springs and twenty minutes to the drive into town from the farm.” His hand lifts from my leg and he pulls down a lever, lowering a giant plow onto the unpaved road with a loud scrape.
Not much snow has fallen, but it’s starting to flurry and there’s a heavy pack of frozen white beneath us. “You take this road a lot?”
“Oh shit,” he glances toward me, “I didn’t think about how this would be terrifying for you. I can turn around if you want me to. No one takes this road, so I figured it would be quicker.”
I shouldn’t trust him. I have no reason to. For some reason, though, I do.
“No. It’s okay. I mean, every episode of 20/20 is running through my head, but I’ll be okay.”
He laughs and his hand returns to my leg. “I’ll turn around. This road is pretty intense, anyway. Hanging cliffs and a water crossing. It’s not for—”
“No.” I land my hand over the top of his. What the hell is happening. “I like an adventure. Besides, I have more bear spray in my bag than the store, so if you try to murder me, your eyes are gonna really sting.”
I love making him smile. “Is that right?”
“Yeah, so… better watch out.” I’m not sure if I do it intentionally or not, but either way, my body shuffles closer to his, and the ache for his hand between my legs grows stronger.
This isn’t real. This isn’t real. This… isn’t… real.
I repeat the mantra to myself over and over again, but I’m not sure the message is permeating.
“You smell good.” His voice is so low and gritty that it vibrates through me. He has to be flirting with me, right? But why? What’s his motive. He doesn’t have to flirt with me right now. We’re so far away from civilization that no one will get to see his kindness.
“Oh, it’s some kind of body spray. I don’t remember the name.” I do remember the name and it’s not body spray. It’s a two-hundred-dollar bottle of perfume that I bought before coming here because, despite the fact that this is all pretend, I still wanted to smell good.
“Well, it’s amazing.” The truck jumps and bumps along the snowy path as he drives deeper into the snowy woods. I’m not sure this was the best decision considering the storm coming through, but none of that matters right now.
Right now, the only thing I’m thinking about is the conversation we’re having and the way he’s touching me.
“Thanks. You’re not too bad yourself. You smell like the woods or something.”
“Ha, well that’s all me. My cologne must not be able to overpower it. Sorry.”
“No, I like it. You smell… manly. ”
“Well,” he clears his throat as we bump over a slew of rocks in the path, “hopefully all this manliness can get me through this road because the snow is picking up. I wasn’t expecting that.”
“You’re not alone. They said clear skies today. My friend Heather is on her way out here too. Hopefully her flight is running on time.”
“I didn’t realize you had a friend coming. It’ll be good to meet her, too.”
“She knows about the fake date thing. She’s just coming for moral support, and to get away from reality for a while.” I lean forward, then back, squinting my eyes through the snow to try to see the road in front of us, but it’s no use. We’re in a whiteout.
“Shit,” Sam groans. “I’d turn back but we’re halfway now. Let’s stop and see if the storm passes. With the drop-off’s everywhere, it’s dangerous to keep going with the whiteout.” He stares down at the clock on the truck. “We’ve still got some time and squalls like this usually clear up fast.” He puts the truck in park and opens the driver’s side door. “I’m going to call my brother quick and see how the weather is there. I’ll be right back.”
Is it weird that he’s getting out of the truck to make a call? Maybe I was wrong to trust him. My stomach turns as I swipe away the twenty missed calls from my sister and look to dial Heather back. I hope she’s on the plane, but I call anyway to make sure.
Thankfully, she doesn’t answer. It must not be storming where she is.
I should go back and check the texts from my sister or call her and see what the heck is going on, but I can’t stomach her right now. For a brief second, I’m happy in a little fantasy bubble where a big, hot, rugged man is touching my leg and I’m not going to let her ruin it.
No, I’ve given her that opportunity too many times in my life. Right now, this moment, sponsored by the last of my savings , is all for me. I power down my phone and stare out into the white abyss. There’s no way in hell this storm is clearing in time for the eclipse. I feel bad for the people that came all this way for complete totality. Then again, maybe someone should’ve warned them that winter in the mountains would most likely bring clouds.
The truck door opens, and Sam knocks the snow off his boots on the edge of the door before climbing in. “Well, they’re getting snowed out too.” He pops open his glove box and pulls out a stack of chocolate cookies with cream in the middle. “Looks like we’re gonna be here for a while. For the record, we’d have been stuck on the highway too. No way they didn’t stop traffic around the bend into town. They do it every storm. Too many people go off the road there.”
I grab a cookie from the bag and take a bite, watching as his giant hand devours the treat. I’m not sure I’m hungry enough to eat yet, but I like this quiet little moment in the woods with a goliath, so I do as goliaths do, and I eat my cookie.
“You’re just biting into it. You’re supposed to lick out the cream first.” I smile and lick the edges of the cream as I talk.
“Are you not worried about the party or the eclipse?” He takes another bite. “And for the record, I’m all for licking the cream, but sometimes, you just got to devour something, ya know?” He pops the rest in his mouth, holding his gaze on mine.
What did he just say? My entire body shivers and my panties soak with desperation. “I’m not bummed about the party or the eclipse. We’ll get there when we get there.” I’m entirely happy right here licking the cream out of a cookie with Sam sitting next to me.
“I was most worried about a buddy of mine. Haven’t seen him in years and he was supposed to come out to the farm for a pseudo welcome home party.”
“Where has he been?”
“All over the Middle East. Career military. Folks around town are so excited he’s home. Pretty soon the town will have that hometown heroes’ parade and he’ll be a star for a while. I gotta say, small town life is nice for shit like that. If he were going home to Chicago or New York, he wouldn’t get the same reception. Here, he gets head table at the Christmas Eve party, a parade, and free haircuts for life down at the barber shop on Main.”
“And he’s back in time to see the eclipse. Well, to see the sky go dark, anyway.”
Sam smiles and reaches into a small cooler behind the passenger seat. “Water?”
“Sure.”
He loosens the top and hands the cold, wet bottle toward me before taking a sip of his own.
“You always travel with a bunch of snacks?”
“Every day. I do a lot of planting and trimming trees, so I’m usually way out there. This is easier than driving all the way back to the house when I want a snack, and,” he rolls his hand over his hard stomach, “a guy my size needs snacks for survival.”
“Yeah?” My cheeks heat, and though his comment was simple and innocent, it sends a vibration between my legs that I need to attend to.
God, what’s wrong with me?
“I take it you don’t travel with snacks?”
“No,” I smile wide as the snow flurries around us, “but I think I might start. I always wanted to be one of those people that carries candy around with them.”
“Like butterscotch?”
“Yeah, or those little strawberry candies. I think I have a loose fantasy about having grandkids that beg me for pocket candy.”
“Wow,” he says with a grin. “Straight to grandkids. You’re a little young for thoughts like that, aren’t you? Shouldn’t you be fantasizing about a family of your own first?”
“I do, but I’m really looking forward to my late life era.”
“Not much to look forward to.” He laughs and readjusts the heating vents as though he’s nervous. “The older you get, the worse off everything is. Your back hurts, your knees hurt, and your tired at eight p.m.”
“Not true! You have all this wisdom when you’re older. You see life more clearly for what it is. You’re respected, and you get to make cookies and pies, and everyone has to tell you how good they are, even if they’re horrid.”
“Are your pies and cookies usually horrid?”
“Yes!” I laugh. “They are. I’m horrible in the kitchen. What about you?”
He brushes his hand down over his beard. “Kind of terrible too, actually. I order from the diner most nights.”
“We can learn together.” The words come out of my mouth with a smile as though we’re an actual couple and we have a future to plan. Except this isn’t real, and we don’t. The second that permeates, embarrassment settles in.
“I mean, if we were a couple, we would learn to cook together, but we’re not, so we won’t.” Dear Lord, girl. Even I want to vomit after that attempt to clear the air.
Suddenly, the heat pumping from the vents is sweltering. Okay, well… this was fun. Now, if someone could point me to the nearest cliff, I’d like to take my chances on an alternate escape plan.
“I guess you’re going back to Kansas at the end of this weekend, huh?” Sam’s tone is somber, but I’m not buying it. I’m sure the second I leave, he’ll be more than glad to put this whole thing behind him… with my two grand in his pocket.
“Yeah.” Why is he asking me? Of course I’m going back to the town where I have a job and a home and a life. And yes, it’s happening after this whole nightmare is over. My thighs ache and the truck is overwhelmingly hot. It’s so hot, that I feel a bead of sweat begin to slide from my forehead down the side of my nose.
What the hell is going on right now? It’s like I’m in a full body panic attack except my clit is throbbing. I need to get out of the truck. I need fresh air. I need anything but the sight of this big, jacked, sexy giant asking me how long I’m staying.
“I don’t think I got my mom a good enough gift for Christmas. She loves butterflies, so I found her a set of measuring bowls and spoons with butterflies on them. That’s stupid, right?” What am I saying? I wipe away another bead of sweat and glance out the side window and back again, avoiding eye contact.
“No, I think she’d like that.” He rings his hand against the back of his neck and stares at me. “You think she’s going to believe this whole thing?”
My heart hammers against my chest as my gaze meets his. I swallow hard and say, “I don’t know. Probably not. I mean, this is awkward, right? Are you feeling it too?” I scrape my hand through my hair and tuck it behind my ear as my inner voice goes nuts.
‘You’re an idiot. This man is gorgeous. No one is going to believe that he’s here voluntarily. You’re stupid, Jen. You’re so fucking stupid. How do I get out of here? Now. I need to leave now.’
“What if we kissed?” His tone is low and graveled, and every bit of it has just pushed me off the little ledge I was holding onto.
“Kissed?”
“Yeah. Maybe that would help loosen us up and get us more comfortable with each other.”
The altitude is getting to me again because I can’t breathe. The literal air is being sucked from my lungs. I think I’m nodding. I must be nodding because Sam’s giant frame is closing in. His calloused hand cups my throat as his lips meet mine.
Holy fuck. The pressure of his lips is light at first. Innocent and sweet. Then, I moan. It’s an involuntary noise and very accurately describes the throbbing ache currently growing between my legs. It’s as though my body is telling his that I need more.
He listens.
Sam pulls me closer, holding me tightly against his chest, and the innocent kiss we were sharing a moment ago turns deep. His tongue slides against mine and his hands wander my body as though there’s a desperate, needy monster inside of him.
I remind myself again that this is all pretend, and that I paid him to be here, but the warmth of his hands and the rumbling growl in his throat has me forgetting reality.
“Jesus, baby. You taste good.”
Baby? Taste good?
My panties are sopping wet and if I don’t open this door right now and throw myself into the falling snow, I’ll be climbing onto his lap and begging him to let me come all over him.
“Baby?”
“Yeah,” his brows narrow, “is that weird? It just came out.”
“No.” My breathing is so fast that I’m sure it’s noticeable. Again, I’m not sure if I’m having a panic attack, if the altitude is taking me out, or if the prickling down my neck, tight chest, and throbbing clit are from desire alone. “I like it. The pet name Baby, I mean.”
He nods and holds my gaze as though this isn’t a game at all. As though every second of every touch meant something. As though he wants me as badly as I want him.
I know he doesn’t, and me continuing to think stupid shit like that is only going to leave me heartbroken.
“I’m just going to get some fresh air.” I open the truck door and hop down into the freezing cold snow, power my phone back on, ignore the barrage of missed calls from my family, and dial Heather. I’ll deal with whatever it is my sister wants in a bit. Right now, I need my friend, and she should have landed in the Springs by now.
She answers on the first ring. “Oh, God. This must be going horrible if you’re calling me already.”
“What counts as horrible?” I loosen my coat to let the cold winter air cool the sweat from my skin. “We’re currently trapped on a back road in a snowstorm, and we just kissed.”
“What? Why the hell are you talking to me then?”
“How was your flight?”
“Not good. I’m still in Kansas. They delayed me at first, and then they canceled. Everyone loves Christmas Eve snow though, right?”
“Shit! That sucks. Ugh, I’ll come home the first second I can. We—”
“No, you aren’t. You’re living for both of us right now. Get off the phone with me and put your lips back on that man.”
I drag in a deep refreshing breath, letting the cold air cycle through my lungs slowly. “I can’t. I’m getting too wrapped up. He’s like… not just hot. He’s nice and smart and thoughtful. And… like… he’s actually got a good head on his shoulders. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, but I need to get away from him.”
“Oh damn. You’re actually falling for him.”
“I don’t know if I realized how much time we’d have together.” Though the clouds are blocking the sun, the sky begins to darken. “Shit, this eclipse thing is about to happen.”
“So, get back in the truck and see what magic happens. I’ll be fine. Margo and I are going to open gifts, make cookies for Santa, and binge old holiday movies. You and I can celebrate when you get back.”
I feel so bad for Heather. I feel even worse now that she was on her way and the snow stopped her. No one wants to spend Christmas alone.
“I’ll FaceTime you in the morning. You can say hi to my pretend boyfriend.” I glance back at the truck, expecting to see Sam, but the truck is empty, and I don’t see him anywhere, though the snow is falling pretty heavily right now. Maybe he walked into the woods to take a piss, or maybe he’s making a call on the other side of the truck. Either way, I don’t like not knowing where he is.
“I love you,” Heather says, “now let me go. I want you to get out there and—”
Sam’s giant frame is suddenly in front of me, standing in the flurry of white like a yeti that I want to pick me up and take me back to his cave.
He takes the phone from my hand, looking at the name on the screen before talking. “Heather? Jen is going to have to call you back in a bit.” His tone is deep, dark, and brooding as he ends the call, opens the truck door, tosses my phone inside, and backs me up against the seat.
Whatever’s happening right now sends a shiver down my spine then up again. I’d say it was the blistering cold, or the way the wind whips my hair, but I’m sweating again.
His hand lifts to the side of my face, and he stares toward me with dark, delicious intent as his lips narrow toward mine. “You’re taking too long.”
I’m not sure what I expected an eclipse to be like. I’ve never seen one before, but like the moon passing over the sun above us, I let go of inhibition and black the hell out.